
Woman Asks If It’d Be A Jerk Move To Miss Her Brother’s 40th Birthday Because They Banned Her “Aggressive” German Shepherd From Their House
Big dogs, small dogs, old ones, yappy ones – we love them regardless; however, no matter how confusing it might seem, it just so happens that some people might not be quite as fond of your fluffy family member.
Take this Redditor’s sister-in-law, for instance! The last time the author of the post and her 3-year-old German shepherd visited, the woman stepped on her tail, which prompted “Lou” to bark pretty loudly. The incident earned the doggo a reputation as an “aggressive dog” and even led to her being banned from their house.
More info: Reddit | Nicole Wilde | Sherri Regalbuto
This woman’s dog suffers from separation anxiety and can’t be left alone for long
Image credits: Людмила Шалимова (not the actual image)
She was set to attend her brother’s 40th birthday party, but due to a tail-stepping incident with her SIL, “Lou” was banned from their home
Image credits: Arthur Tseng (not the actual image)
Image source: u/loutheshepherd
“WIBTA for not attending my brother’s birthday party because I can’t bring my dog?” – this web user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if she’s indeed a jerk for choosing to skip her brother’s 40th birthday party because his wife banned her ‘aggressive’ German shepherd from their property. The post managed to garner nearly 12K upvotes as well as 3.2K comments discussing the situation.
Every person who owns a pet or has owned one before knows that once you home one, it automatically becomes a full-on family member. Hamsters, turtles, guinea pigs, rabbits, budgies, goldfish, cats, dogs – whatever it is, it’s bound to win a special place in your heart!
But those who have never experienced such a thing might find it hard to find a logical explanation for certain actions; some folks are just not on the same wavelength and can’t comprehend how an animal can be, for instance, treated equally to a member of the household. However, the explanation is pretty simple: for most, a pet is a companion, emotional support, and so much more.
Hence, it is our duty as pet owners to make sure that our four-legged (or however-many-legged) friends live as long and as happily as possible – and, as a matter of fact, the author of today’s story was doing just that!
The first so-called red flag of the situation is that the sister-in-law decided to ban the poor dog from her property without taking some time to reflect; though, I think most of you will agree that the matter is pretty straightforward and certainly didn’t deserve this particular outcome.
I mean, how else would you expect a dog to react when you step on its tail?
The OP handled the rest like a champ! She provided her brother with various options as she knew that she needed to keep her priorities straight and focus on healing “Lou.” Nothing appealed to her sibling, so instead, she decided to stay at home and take him out to dinner the next weekend. Seems like a logical solution, right? Well, for some intricate reason, it wasn’t good enough for the sister-in-law.
The OP tried to negotiate with her sibling so she could still attend the gathering
Image credits: K Zoltan (not the actual image)
To get a more professional outlook on the matter, Bored Panda decided to reach out to a couple of dog behavior specialists: Nicole Wilde, a canine behavior specialist with over 30 years of experience and the author of 12 books on canine behavior, and Sherri Regalbuto, who has been working with dogs in many different aspects for over 45 years!
First things first, we asked our experts about separation anxiety in dogs: “Separation anxiety is an emotional state that occurs when a dog becomes distraught either because of being separated from a particular person or persons, or because he does not want to be left alone (I think of the latter as isolation distress). There can be a variety of causes. Genetics can play a part, as some individual dogs are more predisposed to anxiety and insecurity.”
“Although there is a lack of hard scientific evidence, it has even been theorized that some breeds are more predisposed to this issue. But more commonly, a dog may have lost his initial home or even been adopted into different homes, resulting in an excessive attachment to the owners and a fear of being left again,” Nicole explained.
Sherri also offered her insight: “Separation anxiety is a common issue in dogs, more so in second-hand dogs. This is something that I try to share with anyone wanting to adopt or rescue; just a heads-up of the possibility. Separation anxiety can come in many forms and range from very mild to severe and possibly dangerous. Over the years I have dealt with many cases; the worst one being a dog that broke and jumped out of glass windows. That was a scary one.”
BP then pondered how one should deal with it, to which Nicole responded: “First, make sure the dog’s basic needs are being met. Good nutrition and adequate exercise and mental stimulation will provide a solid foundation. Behavior protocols should be implemented. Although my book ‘Don’t Leave Me: Step-by-Step Help for Your Dog’s Separation Anxiety’ goes into detail, the basic idea is that planned absences are carried out carefully and gradually, so that the dog is never left alone longer than he can handle, and he learns to be alone without feeling anxious.”
“Other things that can help are leaving the dog with a long-lasting, tempting chew item, playing calming music, and more, which can contribute to solving the problem, although those things are not likely to do so on their own. In extreme cases where the dog is in danger of injuring himself, medication may be warranted until the issue can be resolved.”
However, nothing came out of it and she decided to prioritize “Lou’s” well-being and skip the party
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual image)
Sherri then provided helpful suggestions on how to prevent separation issues in your pet: “When you acquire a dog, whether it be a new puppy or an adult, you must begin the leaving process. Of course, with a new adult dog, you want to hang around for a bit so that they get used to their new home, etc. But as soon as they are comfortable, go out. Start with short outings and do it often. If you have nowhere to go, just go out and do something.”
“Make your exit and your arrival a nonissue, no big deal. When you are at home, don’t hover. Don’t be a cling-on owner. Owners who can never be away from their dogs create a whole bucket full of problems, separation anxiety being one of them. By overindulging your own need to be with your dog 24/7, you are handicapping your dog. You may think that you are doing a good thing, but just imagine how your dog feels. They are used to you smothering them with attention each and every second of the day. When you leave there is a huge vacuum (a space not filled or occupied; emptiness; void) that your dog cannot deal with.”
Last but certainly not least, Nicole offered some commentary on the Reddit post: “Regarding the story with the GSD and the brother’s party, I don’t understand why this dog is being labeled as aggressive. It sounds as though she barked as a reaction to the pain of having her tail stepped on, which is absolutely normal and acceptable.”
“The fact that she did NOT lash out and bite tells me that this is NOT an aggressive dog. It sounds as though the owner tried to make arrangements for her dog to stay home and couldn’t, and went so far as to offer a few different options for bringing her along so she could attend. It sounds like the other parties are being unreasonable. I’m on her side on this one.”
Now that we’ve got some credible feedback on how serious separation anxiety is, what is your take on the story? Do you think the author was right to prioritize her dog?
OP's SIL is using the dog as an excuse. She's blowing up OP's phone now because she's trying to goad OP into losing her temper and say something that will cause other family members, ideally OP's brother/her husband, to turn on her.
You're right on 🎯‼️
This. ☝️☝️
She needs to go do something with her brother and leave the aggressive SIL at home.
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This is a Fake story. The photo is of me and my dog and well I'm a dog behaviorist, she's perfect and I don't have a brother. You can verify our photos IG: Shayunleashed
I commented on another of your comments.. you realize that non of the photos here are from op's story right? Bored Panda admits it. I'm sorry if BP stole your photos, but the story seemed to be a real one on reddit. Op didn't contradict herself, and replied to many people.
Read the caption of the image. It says "not the actual image", bored panda just adds stock photos to reddit posts. That doesn't mean it's a fake story.
I'd have said no AHs here if not for the ridiculous demand of not having the dog even in the neighborhood and the harassment and belittling after OP kindly declined the invitation. Everyone gets to decide if they want dogs on their property. But no one has the right to decide about pets outside of that. On the other hand, an invitation is not a court summon. If you can't tolerate other people's family members, and a pet is a family member, then you don't get to mope if they decline an invitation. Just as much as it is one person's right to deny a dog entry to their property it's another person's right to decline an invitation for any reason. But OP didn't even decline. They tried everything to respect the reasonable boundary of no dogs on the property. That's why they're not TA. But the SIL is TA not for setting a boundary, but for clearly upping the demands to ridiculous levels just to get their will and give no compromise whatsoever. Even trying to police a space that's not theirs.
Exactly...SIL doesn't own the sidewalk. Anyone with a leashed dog can walk through that neighborhood, sounds like she just doesn't want SIL there or she's completely entitled and unreasonable. She wouldn't even let her drop of a gift with the dog in her car!
The OP's SIL might not own the sidewalk but she seems to own a certain part of her brother's anatomy and keeps it in a lockbox.
Sounds like petty payback cause dog go bork
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It's a fake story for likes, they used my photo without my permission. I'm actually a dog behaviorist and my dog doesn't have sep anx and I don't have a brother IG @shayunleashed IMG_7210-2...6a73f6.jpg
Did you somehow miss the text underneath the image that says "Image credits: K Zultan (not the actual image)" all of which is a link you can click/tap to go to the site where they got the picture? Pretty much everybody that makes a blog that reposts a reddit story and then discusses it adds a few pictures they find on the internet, otherwise it would just be a giant wall of text and nobody would bother to actually read it. Nobody (except apparently you) believes that is the specific dog in question, but some who aren't sure of specific breeds might be glad to have an example of what a German Shepard looks like. This has absolutely zero to do with you. Get over yourself.
Right? It says under the photo "stock image." Most photos online are.
Oh, I agree so much. I'd get it if SIL was allergic, had trauma or sensory issues but this reads like SIL just doesn't know dogs and thinks its choosing an animal over a human and.. I've known people like that before. I'm not a fan of them. I'm not a dog person, I'm a cat person who's also an animal lover and whilst I wouldn't get a dog for my place, I still respect them as people's pets and loved ones.
Er, I mean the people who don't know dogs and are weird about it instead of just not preferring them or the other options I listed. Edit; I'm not a fan of those people. Not that I hate/dislike them, just usually not like being around them.
I'm a 🐱 person on steroids but they stay behind when I'm running errands and visiting. I've got more than one so they keep each other company. I do enjoy other people's dogs, though.
Yeah, there's some really cute dogs out there.
I have 3 cats! They also get upset if we leave. Mainly my mom. Our oldest HATES when my mom n dad leave (her fav ppl) n will scream at them when they get back xD shes a chatterer n can get loud when unhappy xD
Definitely prefer cats to dogs, they don't really care if you're there or not.
Mine care xD our oldest gets mad if my mom or dad leave. (LOVES my dad then mom then me) i was home alone a year ago (work kept me from the trip they took) n she was pissy the whole time they were gone xD growling at her sibblings huffing at me yowling xD doesn't help shes n old lady.
Same im a cat person but im not cruel to dogs n get they can have emotional truama too. As long as doggo isnt trying to jump on me (im small so big dogs can knock me over easy without knowing it) im ok with them :)
I can see how, if SIL truly feels the dog is aggressive, she wouldn't want the dog in the neighborhood because if it attacks or goes after her neighbors, that would be on her. However, calling OP an a*****e and blowing up her phone shows SIL has other issues going on.
It's so funny that OP isn't her husband, isn"t her child, not a direct family member, but only a relative by law due to marriage and she thinks she should dictate her SIL's personal life choices. The audacity lol
Kinda makes you wonder exactly whose party this would be. The SIL is going to be front and center throughout--sounds like the brother i an afterthought in the whole affair.
Politely declined invitation, bad-mouthing around, offered a tone of fake options... Ground ups politely decline, period. Politely declined and made a fuss is another option.
Hi again. I think you're misreading the post. OP declined the invitation because the (fairly reasonable) compromises weren't working for her sister in law. Her sister in law then started throwing a hissy fit over texting, and the worst thing OP did as far as bad mouthing was paint her in not the best light to strangers on the internet.
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It's a FAKE story, I'm not happy they used my photo it's defamation to my business as a dog behaviorist. You can verify it's us and that Zora is well trained. ig Shayunleashed
People have already commented multiple times it's a "stock photo". Just because BP "stole" your photo, doesn't make the reddit post fake. Technically that's "stolen", too. But, nothing's really protected online. Get over it or contact a copyright attorney.
One of the options involved *leaving the dog in the car*. Exactly how would this be a problem "being on the property"? The dog isn't going to be able to bite any one, or mess up the garden. Yes, the dog may bark. But, hey SIL, barking is not aggression! And I'm saying this as someone who very much prefers cats to dogs having had negative experiences with dogs as a child (including an actually aggressive dog). SIL is a huge AH. Brother is a semi-AH for not accepting the "dog stays in the car" option. OP needs to ensure the previous year's progress needs to continue at pace to ensure the dog can get to the point of being left for more than an hour.
I agree, I don't even see how trading off walking the dog around the neighborhood isn't a reasonable compromise? Does SIL police everyone that walks a dog in her neighborhood on public property? None of her neighbors have dogs that have ever barked or what? SIL is completely unreasonable in this situation.
She's unreasonable on steroids.
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Doggy moaning, mama dragged by doggy moaning, all neighborhood aware of conflict, SIL and brother on light spot and called AHs.. What a nice prospect for the birthday party!
I mean, if the slipper fits...
I agree with most of what you said, except I think the brother isn't an AH for not accepting any of this. Since it seems like he is referring to SIL in this situation to keep the peace. If he agreed to the dog in the car, then that's setting it up for his wife to cause a scene on his birthday, IMO. Agreeing to dinner with his sister the next weekend is a good solution and shows he's not the problem here.
No dog should be left alone in a car for any amount of time. Not even 15 minutes. Too many disasters are just waiting to happen. Saying that dog's aren't welcome in a neighborhood speaks of entitlement. Anticipating a dog will pee in your house means the dog isn't trained properly. Not all dogs damage other people's property. You don't want a dog in your house, simply say so without making assumptions about what you don't don't understand. This statement refers to several above.
Same. Had a dig dog try n jump on me (playfully) when i was 6. It was a lab. I was a 6 yr old girl so i was MUCH smaller. Traumatized me for year. Im ok with small dogs n calm dogs now. But still prefer cats. N i agree. Barking isnt aggression. Also seems like bro would be ok with all options its SIL thats saying no
It's a FAKE story, I'm not happy they used my photo it's defamation to my business as a dog behaviorist. You can verify it's us and that Zora is well trained. ig Shayunleashed
If you don't want your photos to be used as stock photos of other posts, then just stop posting your photos on the internet lmfao
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Because it is unrealistic? Keep the dog in the car for a while? Big dog in the car for awhile? How it is going to be okay? It is fake option.
Keeping a big dog in the car for less than 15 minutes is really not that big a deal. Also, I'm not sure if you're a native speaker or not but I'm having a lot of trouble understanding some of your comments.
OP's SIL is using the dog as an excuse. She's blowing up OP's phone now because she's trying to goad OP into losing her temper and say something that will cause other family members, ideally OP's brother/her husband, to turn on her.
You're right on 🎯‼️
This. ☝️☝️
She needs to go do something with her brother and leave the aggressive SIL at home.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
This is a Fake story. The photo is of me and my dog and well I'm a dog behaviorist, she's perfect and I don't have a brother. You can verify our photos IG: Shayunleashed
I commented on another of your comments.. you realize that non of the photos here are from op's story right? Bored Panda admits it. I'm sorry if BP stole your photos, but the story seemed to be a real one on reddit. Op didn't contradict herself, and replied to many people.
Read the caption of the image. It says "not the actual image", bored panda just adds stock photos to reddit posts. That doesn't mean it's a fake story.
I'd have said no AHs here if not for the ridiculous demand of not having the dog even in the neighborhood and the harassment and belittling after OP kindly declined the invitation. Everyone gets to decide if they want dogs on their property. But no one has the right to decide about pets outside of that. On the other hand, an invitation is not a court summon. If you can't tolerate other people's family members, and a pet is a family member, then you don't get to mope if they decline an invitation. Just as much as it is one person's right to deny a dog entry to their property it's another person's right to decline an invitation for any reason. But OP didn't even decline. They tried everything to respect the reasonable boundary of no dogs on the property. That's why they're not TA. But the SIL is TA not for setting a boundary, but for clearly upping the demands to ridiculous levels just to get their will and give no compromise whatsoever. Even trying to police a space that's not theirs.
Exactly...SIL doesn't own the sidewalk. Anyone with a leashed dog can walk through that neighborhood, sounds like she just doesn't want SIL there or she's completely entitled and unreasonable. She wouldn't even let her drop of a gift with the dog in her car!
The OP's SIL might not own the sidewalk but she seems to own a certain part of her brother's anatomy and keeps it in a lockbox.
Sounds like petty payback cause dog go bork
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It's a fake story for likes, they used my photo without my permission. I'm actually a dog behaviorist and my dog doesn't have sep anx and I don't have a brother IG @shayunleashed IMG_7210-2...6a73f6.jpg
Did you somehow miss the text underneath the image that says "Image credits: K Zultan (not the actual image)" all of which is a link you can click/tap to go to the site where they got the picture? Pretty much everybody that makes a blog that reposts a reddit story and then discusses it adds a few pictures they find on the internet, otherwise it would just be a giant wall of text and nobody would bother to actually read it. Nobody (except apparently you) believes that is the specific dog in question, but some who aren't sure of specific breeds might be glad to have an example of what a German Shepard looks like. This has absolutely zero to do with you. Get over yourself.
Right? It says under the photo "stock image." Most photos online are.
Oh, I agree so much. I'd get it if SIL was allergic, had trauma or sensory issues but this reads like SIL just doesn't know dogs and thinks its choosing an animal over a human and.. I've known people like that before. I'm not a fan of them. I'm not a dog person, I'm a cat person who's also an animal lover and whilst I wouldn't get a dog for my place, I still respect them as people's pets and loved ones.
Er, I mean the people who don't know dogs and are weird about it instead of just not preferring them or the other options I listed. Edit; I'm not a fan of those people. Not that I hate/dislike them, just usually not like being around them.
I'm a 🐱 person on steroids but they stay behind when I'm running errands and visiting. I've got more than one so they keep each other company. I do enjoy other people's dogs, though.
Yeah, there's some really cute dogs out there.
I have 3 cats! They also get upset if we leave. Mainly my mom. Our oldest HATES when my mom n dad leave (her fav ppl) n will scream at them when they get back xD shes a chatterer n can get loud when unhappy xD
Definitely prefer cats to dogs, they don't really care if you're there or not.
Mine care xD our oldest gets mad if my mom or dad leave. (LOVES my dad then mom then me) i was home alone a year ago (work kept me from the trip they took) n she was pissy the whole time they were gone xD growling at her sibblings huffing at me yowling xD doesn't help shes n old lady.
Same im a cat person but im not cruel to dogs n get they can have emotional truama too. As long as doggo isnt trying to jump on me (im small so big dogs can knock me over easy without knowing it) im ok with them :)
I can see how, if SIL truly feels the dog is aggressive, she wouldn't want the dog in the neighborhood because if it attacks or goes after her neighbors, that would be on her. However, calling OP an a*****e and blowing up her phone shows SIL has other issues going on.
It's so funny that OP isn't her husband, isn"t her child, not a direct family member, but only a relative by law due to marriage and she thinks she should dictate her SIL's personal life choices. The audacity lol
Kinda makes you wonder exactly whose party this would be. The SIL is going to be front and center throughout--sounds like the brother i an afterthought in the whole affair.
Politely declined invitation, bad-mouthing around, offered a tone of fake options... Ground ups politely decline, period. Politely declined and made a fuss is another option.
Hi again. I think you're misreading the post. OP declined the invitation because the (fairly reasonable) compromises weren't working for her sister in law. Her sister in law then started throwing a hissy fit over texting, and the worst thing OP did as far as bad mouthing was paint her in not the best light to strangers on the internet.
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It's a FAKE story, I'm not happy they used my photo it's defamation to my business as a dog behaviorist. You can verify it's us and that Zora is well trained. ig Shayunleashed
People have already commented multiple times it's a "stock photo". Just because BP "stole" your photo, doesn't make the reddit post fake. Technically that's "stolen", too. But, nothing's really protected online. Get over it or contact a copyright attorney.
One of the options involved *leaving the dog in the car*. Exactly how would this be a problem "being on the property"? The dog isn't going to be able to bite any one, or mess up the garden. Yes, the dog may bark. But, hey SIL, barking is not aggression! And I'm saying this as someone who very much prefers cats to dogs having had negative experiences with dogs as a child (including an actually aggressive dog). SIL is a huge AH. Brother is a semi-AH for not accepting the "dog stays in the car" option. OP needs to ensure the previous year's progress needs to continue at pace to ensure the dog can get to the point of being left for more than an hour.
I agree, I don't even see how trading off walking the dog around the neighborhood isn't a reasonable compromise? Does SIL police everyone that walks a dog in her neighborhood on public property? None of her neighbors have dogs that have ever barked or what? SIL is completely unreasonable in this situation.
She's unreasonable on steroids.
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Doggy moaning, mama dragged by doggy moaning, all neighborhood aware of conflict, SIL and brother on light spot and called AHs.. What a nice prospect for the birthday party!
I mean, if the slipper fits...
I agree with most of what you said, except I think the brother isn't an AH for not accepting any of this. Since it seems like he is referring to SIL in this situation to keep the peace. If he agreed to the dog in the car, then that's setting it up for his wife to cause a scene on his birthday, IMO. Agreeing to dinner with his sister the next weekend is a good solution and shows he's not the problem here.
No dog should be left alone in a car for any amount of time. Not even 15 minutes. Too many disasters are just waiting to happen. Saying that dog's aren't welcome in a neighborhood speaks of entitlement. Anticipating a dog will pee in your house means the dog isn't trained properly. Not all dogs damage other people's property. You don't want a dog in your house, simply say so without making assumptions about what you don't don't understand. This statement refers to several above.
Same. Had a dig dog try n jump on me (playfully) when i was 6. It was a lab. I was a 6 yr old girl so i was MUCH smaller. Traumatized me for year. Im ok with small dogs n calm dogs now. But still prefer cats. N i agree. Barking isnt aggression. Also seems like bro would be ok with all options its SIL thats saying no
It's a FAKE story, I'm not happy they used my photo it's defamation to my business as a dog behaviorist. You can verify it's us and that Zora is well trained. ig Shayunleashed
If you don't want your photos to be used as stock photos of other posts, then just stop posting your photos on the internet lmfao
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Because it is unrealistic? Keep the dog in the car for a while? Big dog in the car for awhile? How it is going to be okay? It is fake option.
Keeping a big dog in the car for less than 15 minutes is really not that big a deal. Also, I'm not sure if you're a native speaker or not but I'm having a lot of trouble understanding some of your comments.