50 Tweets From This Month That Are Downright Hilarious

My wife is pregnant, we find out the gender in 2 weeks. We will probably just text everyone--simple (can't stand the over the top reveals)

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😂

Me too, pal.

When you get two or more pairs the same size, make and colour and one pair fits totally different and yet they are meant to be identical.

Indicating is not part of the BMW dna . . .

Keeper! ✌️🙂

The gate is down and the lights are flashing but there is no train coming.

I was working as a filler substitute teacher at a high school. Walked into a chemistry class. After taking attendance one of the kids asked for a small white board because "I think we summoned a demon yesterday while the other sub was here." They needed the white board to communicate with it by making their own ouija board. I asked if they tried holy water. They said they were looking on Amazon for some. School is weird these days.

"The Little Yellow River" - I.P. Daily

You go, girl.

Poor kid. Wonder how his brain interpreted this bizarre request.

When I get out of the swimming pool and someone is just getting ready to get in the water I tell them "I warmed the water up for you."

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I agree! Bring back the gargoyles!!!

I have one in every room now!

She photosynthesizes, duh

I can’t stop laughing

My mom said I would regret quitting piano lessons. She's still not right. (I will turn 110 next year.)

I really hope this is more of a workaholic situation and not a she didn't have a choice situation.

Who tf decided 2 days were enough for a weekend? 😑

Beneath it is an orange cat. Spoiler alert: he wants wet food.

Thanks for reminding me! I’m out and I need to buy more!

I use it a lot in cooking. Really pimps up any meat sauce

Bloody Mary is the solution to use the Worcesthershire sauce. Then, when the bottle is empty, you have to buy another one to continue making the cocktails.

I do. There is a great recipe my mom got from her mother-in-law. It's called "the Egg Puff Dish" and includes eggs, milk, bread, cheese and Worchestershire sauce all mixed together and layered, chilled overnight then baked in the oven the next morning. I need to get a new bottle every couple of years.

I buy it by the gallon and have a refillable glass bottle. Nice little secret umami bomb.

Dawn Marie

Dawn Marie

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MEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!!! I use it a lot when I make home made beef jerky!!!!

Try it in a stew or Shepherd's Pie. Henderson's Relish has a similar taste but doesn't contain anchovies.

Yes I use lots of it.

The way my brother uses it on mac and cheese? Absolutely. 💀

Yes, yes I have. It's now sitting next to the other bottle I haven't yet used.

I go through two a year.

I'm on at least my third!

I have yet to buy my first. Or even try the stuff. I heard it's a love-it-or-hate-it thing, kinda like marmite, but I don't have any clue what it tastes like or what food it goes with.

That's not the proper judge of a long life. It's WD-40.

Yes I have but only because the one I had was out of date.

Been cooking for 50 years, I think I'm on my 3rd.

Yes

I moved back in 2018, and bought a new bottle of Worcestershire, I've used it once. The bottle seems ok to me, might use it again in another 10 years or so. I think that cockroaches and Worcestershire will both survive nuclear war.