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If you've ever worked in customer service or hospitality, chances are you might've used a cash register at least a few times when on a shift. Cash registers often tend to freeze or sometimes even print out some funny-looking receipts. Let's be honest, for most of us, receipts might be the last place to search for a grain of any kind of humor, however, some joyful cashiers might disagree with this statement.

In fact, some cashiers like to get creative with the receipts they give their customers. Whether it's a "Love from KINJO" restaurant discount, or some funny phrases like "My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo" the people working on the cash register sure have a knack for spicing up the boring-looking receipts.

#1

Out For Mother's Day Brunch With Our 1-Year-Old Daughter When We Received Our Bill

Out For Mother's Day Brunch With Our 1-Year-Old Daughter When We Received Our Bill

looseONtheGoose Report

The other-other David Wong
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heck yeah. A pic that actually fits this post title.

Alexandra Davis
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the picture uploaded with the comment from Reddit, if you click the link button under the photo it takes you to where they found this

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Headless Roach
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why don't I ever get a discount like this? I try hard to behave well and sometimes I even make it.

Sonja
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That should happen more often. Incentives like this work very well to encourage parents to actually parent their crotch goblins. I do not mind children existing. I also don't mind hearing laughter or an occasional baby crying. But I can't stand bad parents who don't care if their brats screech as if they're alone in the world and let them run amok and I'm very happy to live in a country where this will get you thrown out if you don't stop it.

suzemagoo
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are retired and well off enough to occasionally secretly pay for a family's meal where the kids were well behaved, giving parents a little recognition for their efforts. It lifts us too.

David
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never got a discount for good behavior but I did sometimes leave a more generous tip when my grandkids were annoying. It's not like they are monsters or anything but most little kids have bad days. A random meltdown, don't feel good, a sibling pushed their button one too many times and so on.

Vasana Phong
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be done in more establishments, maybe even say the discount out loud for one to hear if they have rowdy kids

Marc Lauzon
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I like this gesture. I dislike the impression behind it, that Internet has warped perception of daily lives with kids that a well-behaved 1 years old deserved a discount.

Lilly Sarah
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine if they got taxed for bad behaved kids

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Tai Dallen
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd like to see this more often! By that I mean more well behaved children... Looking at those of you that let your kids run around stealing food from other tables...

Michelle C
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How kids behave can make or break a parent’s day sometimes! I work in education and I’ve seen what happens when kids decide that respecting their parents Isn’t worth the doing on a given day!

Rachel
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With a kid that young, it's a gamble whether they're going to "behave" or not, and not totally something the parents can fully control. The thing they can control is their reaction to certain behaviors, but I'm sure if they immediately got up and went outside with a screaming child, they still wouldn't get the discount just because the baby cried out.

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RELATED:
    #2

    This Receipt My Dad Found

    This Receipt My Dad Found

    reddit.com Report

    Alditekim
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you run out of children, make again

    AspieGirl88
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s pretty cool, I have to admit. It’s not often the customer gets a tip, but this is probably the best kind of one you could get, as you get to keep it forever! 😂

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Problem here. Wouldn't this make the child devalue material goods?

    Youcantunapianobutyoucan't
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, what's the problem. People should devalue material goods.

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    Mistiekim
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m a bit nervous about the costumes a store named “Hot Shop” is selling

    🌵 Drazil
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you think this is a relevant comment?!?

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    Marc Lauzon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fun how they don't suggest returning the present...

    Jeremy Evans
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you could also burn the box in front of them

    tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and this is called ✨emotional abuse✨

    Minakshi Pharswal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awesome! Once I got a bill in an Indian sweet shop saying "Be nice to Samosas, they have fillings too!" i thought that was hillarious

    Kirk Evans
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What happens if the child behaves? Open a lot of empty boxes on Christmas?

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    #3

    I Was Given The Ability To Control What Gets Printed On The Receipts At The Doughnut Shop Where I Work. This Is The First Thing I Did

    I Was Given The Ability To Control What Gets Printed On The Receipts At The Doughnut Shop Where I Work. This Is The First Thing I Did

    buckwheatwaffle Report

    Kayla J
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would accept my receipt for donuts if Mitch Hedberg was at the bottom of them.

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where I live food safety laws prevent dead people from handling your food.

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    Id row
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually did have to prove I bought a donut one time. I posted on reddit about my Boston cream donut that didn't have any cream in it. They said, "who cuts a BCD in half?" I said I cut it in half for the pic because I bought 2 and the first one didn't have any cream so I cut the second one in half and that was the pic. I was called a liar, because who buys two donuts and eats one the next day? Like no one has ever eaten a day old donut. It was fine. I took a pic of the receipt and posted it, showing I bought 2 donuts. Probably first and last time I'll ever have to prove I bought a donut.

    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't be so sure, one day you may need an alibi 🙃

    SheilaWeila
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was thinking the same thing. This guy doesn't watch enough murder mysteries. He may need an alibi for a crime.

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    Whitey Black
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was excited to check out the rare albums at this new store that just opened called Hard To Find Records. I went there and nothing was alphabetized. -- MH

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A donut costs $3.55? And then folks tip 50% on top of that? I'm glad I do not live in that town. Though perhaps they are amazing donuts.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It actually doesn't say how many, or even if, donuts; and if this was a self-insert card reader it might ask if one wants to tip, which may be easier than a jar. And yes, even I who often prefers gas station coffee would pay that for an amazing donut....

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    Elisabeth Chai
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Italy receipts are mandatory for tax reasons. Fines are 3.000 Euro for shopkeeper, 300 Euro for the client. So there's that

    The other-other David Wong
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I cant wait till you go to work at Subway Hedberg fan!

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    #4

    Most Receipts Just Say Something Like "Have A Nice Day!" Or "Thank You For Your Business"

    Most Receipts Just Say Something Like "Have A Nice Day!" Or "Thank You For Your Business"

    jcmack13 Report

    Sarah Elizabeth
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I am making 90 US dollars an hour working from home. I never imagined that it was honest to goodness yet my closest companion is earning 16,000 US dollar a month by working on a laptop, that was truly astounding for me, she prescribed for me to attempt it simply. Everybody must try this job now by just using this website... www.ProfitGuru7.com

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    nedac08
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” - Morpheus

    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see a Keanu reference, I upvote.

    AspieGirl88
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keane Reeves, eat your heart out! 😄💖👏

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grandfather about to get another lifetime ban

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    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m more interested in, what the hell is is Carrot and Ginger soup?

    XYG
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Carrot and ginger soup yum

    Minakshi Pharswal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would head to the bald guy in the room asking for my pills

    Florine Knight
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would put this in a frame and on my wall;-)

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    #5

    Noticed This On My Receipt At The Bar Yesterday

    Noticed This On My Receipt At The Bar Yesterday

    craq_feind_davis Report

    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sheesh, one little mistake.

    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pandas, we have a new kind of "500$ working from home" trash to deal with. You know the drill 🙃

    AspieGirl88
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg, that’s hilarious! I’d put that in a frame & keep it! 😂

    Minakshi Pharswal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you made grandfather proud, scribbly name that I don't understand!

    General Anaesthesia
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    San Diego Zoo isn't happy that the writer's grandfather 'stole' a lion's heart?

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    Khairunnisa Abeer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am not proud to say that it took me 3 readings to get this.

    R1MV4Superleggera
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've got a very important question....how does it taste? Er, I mean! How does it feel not being able to visit the zoo? Yeah, yeah! I'll get my coat 😔

    Analyn Lahr
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean that would explain why he hardly visited when I lived down there...

    Kristina Cowan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The animals get very agitated whenever he visits the zoo, it's like they can sense something ...

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    #6

    So Thankful To CVS For Giving Me This New Tie With My Pepsi Zero

    So Thankful To CVS For Giving Me This New Tie With My Pepsi Zero

    delege Report

    gbic 3548
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should apply for a position at CVS wearing this tie.

    FlatEarf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This must be a before work and after work picture he looks depressed...probably a 25% of coupon somewhere on that receipt

    Dee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup! The "tie" on the right is wrinkled! Hard day at work.

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    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The title of this article is "64 Of The Funniest Receipts That Made Spending Money A Little Less Painful". It doesn't say that each entry has to have a funny or personalized message.

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    Kathy Fera
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS IS WHY WE LOSE SO MANY TREES!

    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does anybody realize how many forests CVS has destroyed?

    No Name
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plot twist: he wore this to work at Walgreens.

    Yurie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If trees could, they'd file a class action lawsuit

    Yurie
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #7

    Got This On The Bottom Of A Receipt Today

    Got This On The Bottom Of A Receipt Today

    SuperMcG Report

    AspieGirl88
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Missed opportunity … sounds more like Fred & George Weasley if you say: “I solemnly swear - that I - will pay - for my food”! 🤣

    featherytoad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know some Karen, with no sense of humor, will be coming back in to talk to a manager about that.

    Minakshi Pharswal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is the beginning of a love story I tell you!

    #8

    This Amusing Little Quip At The Bottom Of My Favorite Comic Shop's Receipt

    This Amusing Little Quip At The Bottom Of My Favorite Comic Shop's Receipt

    thedailyvinyls Report

    Sweet_Dee
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aww, how charming.

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Projecting Obi-Wan. "These aren't the droids you're looking for." "You will complete the online survey" "You will leave us a glowing review on Yelp"

    Little Wonder
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is based on the card Steve Martin used to hand people that said something along the lines of "You met Steve Martin, he was funny and very charming"

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given the style of the writing, I can’t help but think of the quip that Steven Sharp Nelson made at the end of one of The Piano Guys’ videos, “Cello Wars (Star Wars Parody): “You will like this video. You will not dislike this video. You will subscribe to The Piano Guys,” or something to that effect, in keeping with the Sith character he played!

    Lil Potato
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like a really cool place. Is it like a coffee shop where you read comics?

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    #9

    My Receipt At The Local Wine Bar Had A Familiar Message

    My Receipt At The Local Wine Bar Had A Familiar Message

    Evol_menimE Report

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thinking same thing!! On another note, I, 50m, told my partner, 61f, what rickrolling is the other day because she didn't know.... and she's online more than me! Wtf :-)

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    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same! And the rickrolling thing seems to amuse him! What a sport!

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    Kristina Cowan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if they run through a lot of paper rolls for that...

    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was this a one or something???

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    #10

    My Restaurant's Receipt The Other Day. High Fives Were Given

    My Restaurant's Receipt The Other Day. High Fives Were Given

    stevo351 Report

    Brian Luna
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    2 mitch references!!! I did not have that on my BP bingo card!!!!

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    Whitey Black
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He liked Kit Kats too, unless he was with four or more people.

    M Kawai
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait, who is this Mitch guy?

    Epona
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mitch Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humour and deadpan delivery. He passed away in 2005 of an accidental drug overdose. Source: Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg

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    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought Mitch didn’t want to print receipts! Mitch, make up your mind dammit!

    Cherie Botha
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another great Mitch-ism "An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. Sorry for the convenience"

    Minakshi Pharswal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably they should publish a book "Hillarious Receipt Footnotes by Mitch Hedberg"

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    #11

    My Receipt At A Local Burger Joint

    My Receipt At A Local Burger Joint

    LambroLP700-4 Report

    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, hundreds of Bored Pandas read it

    JustinTime
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Chuck Norris went to Virgin Islands now they’re just called the Islands.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This needs more votes. Currently at 171. Send higher because of MULTIPLE funnies on this receipt! Should be near top!!

    Kirk Evans
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I just gotta see what a five dollar shake tastes like.". I think I got that close to right. Honk if you recognize the line.

    seriouslykarma
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm guessing it's shorthand for ordering all the available toppings.

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    THAT FURRY......
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i see chuck norris reference i upvote

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    #12

    My Local Sushi Joint Adds "Love" Onto Your Bill

    My Local Sushi Joint Adds "Love" Onto Your Bill

    pandawannabe Report

    AspieGirl88
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I’ve got J-Lo in my head, singing “Love Don’t Cost A Thing”! 😂

    Hannah McCoy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Magic steak?! Or is that a brand

    Farid Red
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this a business trick to make the quantity sold appear large while the money is less.

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    #13

    Just Finished Dinner At A Super Fancy Restaurant, This Was On The Receipt. I Guess They Are Correct

    Just Finished Dinner At A Super Fancy Restaurant, This Was On The Receipt. I Guess They Are Correct

    ocularcrawdad Report

    Cat Palmer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An apostrophe / In a place it shouldn't be / BPs do not like

    Kat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmmm.... That's a senryu. Same format, but a haiku is about the perfection of nature. A senryu about the imperfections of humans

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Crepe and a pint. What a weird combination.

    Emilia Sloane
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MIIIICCCCCRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWAAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEEE

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Downvote for the unnecessary apostrophe in a plural.

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    #14

    My Friend Smoked And Went To Order Steak And Shake, And After Laughing At The Cashier For 2 Minutes, This Was On His Receipt

    My Friend Smoked And Went To Order Steak And Shake, And After Laughing At The Cashier For 2 Minutes, This Was On His Receipt

    XCrunner321 Report

    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well I guess that’s how they decipher who ordered what, like that b***h that ordered the BLTCH

    No Name
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bacon, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and ham?

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    gbic 3548
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Check the timestamp (1:38a.m.). Probably accurate.

    Mark Bayliss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Couldn't have been that high if he only had one thing. Normally I - I mean my friend orders everything in full confidence I - dammit - he will finish it.

    Roy Zobel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once was at a tavern and wanted to pay my bill. The waitress got a writing pad with all the customers orders on it and I could read above my orders: "Fat guy with beard". ;)

    No Name
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weed/pot/cannabis/marijuana/Mary Jane/kush/bud/... smoking the stuff purportedly makes people really hungry.

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    #15

    Found This On My Receipt From A Thai Restaurant

    Found This On My Receipt From A Thai Restaurant

    WhySoStopid Report

    Heather Rawk
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is there print in Swedish at a Thai restaurant?

    General Anaesthesia
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why not? Swedish website. What about English at a Swedish Thai restaurant?

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    Fluffy Cat Sleeps
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to know what the foreign words mean

    General Anaesthesia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Google translate says, "Thanks for today, welcome back." Something like "Thank you and visit us again" or however English language establishments phrase it.

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    Lihn Song
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Excellent pun, plus I got to practice my Swedish!

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So... this was given to you by an Asian restaurant and it is a joke that if said out loud sounds funnier if one talks in a stereotype Asian accent? Go ahead, say it in your head using Jackie Chan's voice. LOL

    JB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    cashew outside how bou dat!?

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    #16

    My Receipt Was Quite Dramatic

    My Receipt Was Quite Dramatic

    Dinosaur_willy Report

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a cat named Stella. We used to live in an apartment and she would sit in the window waiting for me to come home after work. As I walked up the path I'd see her up there and wave, yelling "Steeeellllllaaaaa". I'm sure my neighbors thought I was certifiable, but I always cracked myself up. :)

    Perfumista Perfumista
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol. But do love Streetcar Named Desire (more than Stella Artois)

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    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't know what STELLLLAAAAAAAAAHHH is but now I feel like getting one... XD

    okpkpkp
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could it be Stella Artois?

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “ I coulda been a contender.”

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Didn’t he say it like “contenduh “ ? Lol

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    #17

    I Think I'm Going To Be A Regular Here At This Restaurant Now

    I Think I'm Going To Be A Regular Here At This Restaurant Now

    bluekum Report

    Ches Yamada
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This... this seems a bit extreme even as a 'joke'

    Anna Litical
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love Twilight. I'm a grandma. I thought I'd hate it. Kill me now.

    Ryan Ensoll
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My god people, its a a damned joke. The whole point of it is that it's absurd. If you're offended by this, it's a you problem, not a them problem.

    Lil Potato
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get is dark and sort of extreme... But this is awesome 😎

    NotMe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So... teenage girls? It's okay if you don't like Twilight, but what do you have against girls liking it??? People lke all sort of dumb movies/books, Twilight is hardly the worst.

    Analyn Lahr
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will tip you 100% of whatever I order.

    ohjojo (you/your's)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what happens when you get extra garlicy pesto

    Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey! I'm friends with a Twilight fan! Don't worry, we tease her mercilessly about the "rat in a tree" (Edward Cullen)

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    #18

    This Receipt From A Bar Reminds You To Take Your Phone, Wallet And Keys

    This Receipt From A Bar Reminds You To Take Your Phone, Wallet And Keys

    madamfancyfishypantz Report

    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I need to start checking before I leave the house not when I'm leaving the bar

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    Smokey Too
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By that stage, I can't even read the receipt...

    Yurie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sunglasses! Can't tell you how many times I've left sunglasses in a restauranf

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you need to be reminded to take those things then perhaps they should also remind you to phone a taxi to drive you home.

    SkinnyMini
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Throw in “turn off the flat iron” and you’ve got my life motto

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    #19

    I Have Been Using A CVS Receipt As A Replacement Blind For Over 9 Months

    I Have Been Using A CVS Receipt As A Replacement Blind For Over 9 Months

    MilkisToxic Report

    Abby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol thays a nice way to reuse a resipt

    FlatEarf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Receipt, not resipt sorry about the correction I just want everyone to improve...and spelling errors bother me

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    Dee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well they ARE long enough! 😜

    Kristina Cowan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, it was free paper and just the right size and maybe a little off hue, but I regret nothing...

    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve heard that some dentists use them to keep cheeks away from teeth while working on them.

    The other-other David Wong
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    No funny or personalized message.

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ^ No funny or personalized comment. You've said the same thing over and over. Not funny OR personalized.

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    #20

    My Receipt Printer At Work Randomly Sent This Robot

    My Receipt Printer At Work Randomly Sent This Robot

    seasle123 Report

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    #21

    Free Scarves

    Free Scarves

    grdyn Report

    FlatEarf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just saying this so the other guys stupid joke isn't seen by the masses Yes you can go ignore my wishes and read his comment No I won't get mad

    Anyone-for-tea?
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do people do this “just covering up a comment” thing?? It only makes me want to go and read whatever was said as now I’m curious 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m sure it’s not just me either?

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    The other-other David Wong
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    No funny or personalized message.

    Amanda Rose
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Knock it off already. You don't need to say that on every post.

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    #22

    Our Receipt Thanked Us In Broken Spanish

    Our Receipt Thanked Us In Broken Spanish

    sqexe Report

    Zoz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Carne asada for $2.00!!!!!!

    BOTW PANDA
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lo siento, no hablo espanol, but I'm gonna try anyway.

    PurpleUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What you get after a picnic - muchas grassy a*s

    RenRenRan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe a BrewStew reference?!

    Luis Monterroso
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seems that all the menu was in Spanish. Tostadas delicious 🤤🤤🤤

    Epona
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't want a grassy a**!

    Nadia D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    K...so how to unimagine this now? Any tips?

    The other-other David Wong
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Dumb English speaker running a Mexican place thinking they are funny.

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    #23

    This Restaurant Gave Us Free Food And It Showed As “1 Kindness” On The Receipt

    This Restaurant Gave Us Free Food And It Showed As “1 Kindness” On The Receipt

    hxe_111 Report

    Amused panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They must have been very kind - they had the most expensive item discounted.

    thatlesbiantacocat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wanna go to this restaurant. Mac and cheese balls, caramel shakes. Yummy.

    RMA
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shame Byron went bust. Great burgers.

    #24

    The Note On This Car Was Receipt

    The Note On This Car Was Receipt

    gordopotato Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus Christ! $45 for a CAR WASH? If the cartels find out about this they will stop running drugs and change their business model.

    Joshua David
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where I live in Alpharetta GA (celebs and athletes call it home), I pay $80 per month for unlimited hand washes. Legit.

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    #25

    Yo Mama Joke On Receipts

    Yo Mama Joke On Receipts

    RealJonOC Report

    Liz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes misogynist jokes on receipts. So hilarious.

    seriouslykarma
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm more focused on the orders. Are they putting sour cream on burgers?

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah ! I saw that too ! How weird. Why not guacamole instead !

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    BOTW PANDA
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bro that is now in my yo mama arsenal, alsong with 'yo mama so hairy her knockes have sideburns' and 'you mama so fat, she uses three eating utensils, an axe, a catapault, and a forklift'.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol, I must be restless... I glanced at your comment and saw knuckles as tittties... wtf me..... tittties with sideburns is definitely hairy tho

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    Your Gay Bestie (she/he/they)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine someone who got this receipt who's mother died during birth. Not really funny.

    Kat Hoth
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Need some ointment for that burn...

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    #26

    My Bull Moose Receipt Has A Pikachu On It

    My Bull Moose Receipt Has A Pikachu On It

    Mikedermott Report

    #27

    I Signed For A Delivery At Work Today. This Is The Receipt The Driver Handed Me

    I Signed For A Delivery At Work Today. This Is The Receipt The Driver Handed Me

    RexRexRawr Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is that an Amish pirate with prison tats and a crack pipe? Seems weirdly specific.

    R1MV4Superleggera
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    El Zorro! Don't mess with el zorro or you're history!

    Elisa Arden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No wonder all the deliveries are late.

    #28

    My Receipt Has A Taco Cat

    My Receipt Has A Taco Cat

    eru_dite Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you sure it isn't a Michelin cat? :)

    thatlesbiantacocat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my god! It's my twin, thatGAYtacocat!!! We have been reunited at last!!!

    Barbara Stewart
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son and daughter in law have a cat named Nacho.

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    #29

    I Recommended Some Of My Office Colleagues To An Indian Restaurant, They Came Back With This Receipt

    I Recommended Some Of My Office Colleagues To An Indian Restaurant, They Came Back With This Receipt

    akkan Report

    DaveR38
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aren't curies a measure of radiation :\

    Vic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup.. Have you tried our Indian curries?? They radiate spice..

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    Kate Haslam
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Santa Clara? I doubt they were foreigners.

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two possibilities I'd like to throw out there: #1 Santa Clara has Levi's Stadium (amongst other attractions). It is entirely possible that there are foreign tourists in the city at any given time. #2 This sounds like an authentic ethnic restaurant. The patrons themselves could have jokingly asked for mild curries as they are "foreigners" to the spiciness of Indian cuisine.

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    Anya Beboop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In a Thai restaurant we once went to, I think they had a problem with previous customers complaining about how spicy it was. My dad had to basically argue with them to give him their proper spice level. He wasn't disappointed, I watched the tears come down his face as he ate it.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Want to go there. Even The other-other David Wong approves

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah. I may not be Indian, but I absolutely love spicy food and will enjoy it as spicy as I can get it when I do have Indian food!

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dey. Reminds me of the Indian-Muslim Restaurants (Mamaks) here in Malaysia. Literally the first word that starts every sentence is "Dei". XD

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    #30

    Waitress At A Breakfast Place I Went To Had Her Name On The Receipt As “Crazy Linda”

    Waitress At A Breakfast Place I Went To Had Her Name On The Receipt As “Crazy Linda”

    ImmaBeAlex Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There were too many Lindas and she needed to distinguish herself from Evil Linda and Tourette's Linda

    Electra Complex
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was sick of people getting her mixed up with Normal Linda

    Heather Talma
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does she sell used cars on the side?

    Scrogginj
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you have to call yourself crazy are you really though

    JL
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was it also on her name tag?

    #31

    Forgot My Leash, CVS Receipt To The Rescue

    Forgot My Leash, CVS Receipt To The Rescue

    talkstr8t Report

    Himory TheDreamer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's CVS and why are their receipts so big?

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a huge pharmacy chain in the United States. They print coupons and "extra savings" on their receipts, so the receipts are notoriously long.

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    Lydia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, just what the world needs; more waste of paper and ink. Can't they just send the coupons - if not the whole receipt over the mail? Over here they do that. If you go to the hair salon, you'll find your receipt in the mail.

    C Lawson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you have a rewards account/card they just email the receipt and anyone can choose the option of no receipt at all (receipt options display on a screen after you pay).

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    Erica Ventura
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I switched to digital receipts only a while ago. I've saved a few trees since then I'm sure.

    Oh!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FYI, you can get CVS receipts emailed to you instead of these printed monstrosities.

    shermes
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They now ask if you want a receipt, email/text receipt. They listened to their customer’s complaints about their loooong receipts.

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    #32

    Just Had Korean For Dinner. Noticed This On The Receipt

    Just Had Korean For Dinner. Noticed This On The Receipt

    the_twelfth_dr Report

    Ann Dennis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe if he decided to be a decent human being instead of a wacko dictator he'd feel better.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the reasons I try to be mindful of others these days is that it was NOT easy to reverse life's currents after being a diick all the time. Not this easy to just decide, his deck is quite stacked at this point ... he pretty f*cked

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    Tiffi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunate. But....he's making the most of it.

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    #33

    Table For 1: Mr. Michael Scott

    Table For 1: Mr. Michael Scott

    petunia666 Report

    Vic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The wet part I get, but if she wants it crispy as well, you better run..

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    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She said she wants it extra crispy? Methink thou dost fib.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My partner had anäl cancer, and learned the hard way that extra crispy can be a side effect of radiation... thankfully hers was VERY MILD .. THANK YOU HP

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    KDav
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She said no such thing!

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    #34

    I Think The Receipt Printer Fell Asleep

    I Think The Receipt Printer Fell Asleep

    MarijuanaMuppet Report

    Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wtf zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    #35

    Went To A Mexican Restaurant And Saw This On The Receipt. She Really Was The Only One

    Went To A Mexican Restaurant And Saw This On The Receipt. She Really Was The Only One

    OhThatNewGuy Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of a local Chinese place a friend and I frequent. We had been going there for a long time before we saw our first non-Asian employee there.

    #36

    My Receipt Wanted To Be Festive

    My Receipt Wanted To Be Festive

    MrHookup Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bob had been trapped in the pump for days, surviving by drinking the morning dew that condensed in the top of the pump. Macgyvering the receipt cutter to cut out a morse code pattern was his last hope.

    Jordi Sharpe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You, David, are my favorite commentor of the day.

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    #37

    My Boyfriend's Grocery Receipt

    My Boyfriend's Grocery Receipt

    tittypic Report

    Thee8thsense
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He has obtained the essentials.

    Vic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is the 'F' in the end, who are these people, paying in temperature?? Can I pay in Celsius as well?

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    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was going somewhere, until the meatballs

    Abby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    25 cents for a bag wtf??

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No problem with this. Last summer, on holiday to my husband's home country - on the last day I gave him a bag and said he should fill it with what ever he wanted from supermarket that could go in cabin bag of things he missed. He came back with close to a years supply of his favourite chocolate bars. One a day in his lunch pack makes him happier than similar thing I can find here, so it's a good thing!

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meatballs. Can’t Forget about that.

    The other-other David Wong
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    No funny or personalized message.

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    #38

    Those CVS Receipts Are Finally Paying Off

    Those CVS Receipts Are Finally Paying Off

    phatposer Report

    FlatEarf
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No you can't possibly be that desperate

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the photo was taken in March 2020, they very well might have been.

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    Crunchy Swiffer Wetjet
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those receipts are dirtier than the area that toilet paper cleans 🤢

    Kim Lorton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah... somewhere Long the line the idea of a coupon with CVS got lost. I don't consider a coupon that says spend 50 bucks get ten dollars off! I don't need 50 bucks worth of stuff! Or 10 dollars off ! Not a coupon!

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    #39

    The Receipt Of The Restaurant I'm In

    The Receipt Of The Restaurant I'm In

    MrChrisTheDemon Report

    Waddling Land Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just gonna leave this here so you don’t need to see the other guy

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't actually need to do that. Once he gets downvoted a few times his comment gets hidden.

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    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Stand with HOME Kong ? Gee I’d rather stand with Hong Kong instead.

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Home Kong? Is that Engrish for Hong Kong?

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    #40

    Noticed Something Strange About My Receipt

    Noticed Something Strange About My Receipt

    GoramNerfherder Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somewhere there is an angry teen full of angst, bit...ing to his friends about how he doesn't know why he got fired from Rue21 because he was the best employee there and BTW the manager was a huge d...k.

    Anya Beboop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or they really are mistreating them and paying them poverty wage while dealing with nightmare customers. You never know.

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    Fierrochase4life
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    30 lightsabers, the universal unit of time.

    Epona
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where do you buy 30 lightsabers? Or maybe the question should be: how much time is 30 lightsabers? Weeks? Months?

    Jeremy Evans
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    is it a hardware store? Screw you?

    #41

    A Receipt My Friend Got Yesterday

    A Receipt My Friend Got Yesterday

    ejohnson2708 Report

    Thee8thsense
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Paradise by the Dashboard Diner.

    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will do anything for love but I wont pump gas.

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least he was still alive when that receipt was printed.

    Epona
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    RIP Marvin Lee Aday (AKA: Meat Loaf)

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    #42

    Got The Best Ticket Number For My Receipt Tonight

    Got The Best Ticket Number For My Receipt Tonight

    qwed345 Report

    Sweet_Dee
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha! I feel like I'm in 2nd grade with my calculator all over again!

    Firefly
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a kid in elementary school, the boys loved this joke on the calculator (entering the numbers while telling the joke: Dolly Parton went to the doctor and was 69 pounds overweight. The doctor said that was too, too, too much. He gave her 51 pills to take over a period of eight weeks, and when she came back she was boobless. 6922251 x 8= 55378008

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    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What are you, like 11 years old?

    Epona
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plenty of grown a** adults still laugh at such juvenile humour. Have you never seen an episode of Game Grumps? They are 35 (Arin) and 43 (Danny) years old respectively. Some people don't grow out of appreciating that kind of humour, even as adults. Yes, I am a 40-year-old female who watches Game Grumps. They're funny (and not just because of their juvenile sense of humour, they talk about other stuff that is funny).

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    badger
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    shame the total's not $71.75

    Analyn Lahr
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It took way too long for me to see it...

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    #43

    Hard To Turn This Receipt In On My Work Expense Report. Read The Note At The Bottom

    Hard To Turn This Receipt In On My Work Expense Report. Read The Note At The Bottom

    met3_1 Report

    Marlene James
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where does one find $0.33 tacos?

    J. Grey
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't worry - this is probably the least offensive expense receipt your accounts payable team has seen. Trust me..(20+ years in accounting)

    Geoffrey Scott
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually my question is how does one carry 274 tacos(one was 3 bucks)

    Joshua David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    3 for a dollar tacos!? Huh? I want.

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    #44

    My Receipt From Panera

    My Receipt From Panera

    slatter Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brandon is either very popular or very not.

    Erin Nakucyj
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to work the salad station, I used to say I was a professional salad t****r

    Doggo
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait, is t****r censored?!! Edit, yep tôsser

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    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Um…. But I’m not that kind of girl ! Lol

    #45

    My Friend's Bar Bill

    My Friend's Bar Bill

    xxlizzle Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bonus points if you noticed the farts rang up as 'food'.

    Terry Rex
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lmao sounds like me on any given Day.

    Elisa Arden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It really stinks that they don't charge more than that.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Has to be done... *Hands the cashier 2bucks*... *Poot* XD

    Kim Lorton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! And if your fart is bad enough to get to the table next to you... well then, you just bought their drinks!!

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    #46

    I Too Have A Funny Delivery Receipt From My Days Of Delivering Pizzas

    I Too Have A Funny Delivery Receipt From My Days Of Delivering Pizzas

    Perfecteuphoria2 Report

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    #47

    Always Check Your Receipts

    Always Check Your Receipts

    stainedcashmere Report

    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So far I noticed most receipts dated pre-Covid , more happier times

    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the future, all the movies made about the Covid times will be filmed with the blue filter. The one that makes everything look sterile and cold.

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    Ryan Ensoll
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow @ the other david wong, are ya havin' a bad day? You sound like you've had a lt of bad days. Thanks for spreading your misery around. Feel better, you miserable sip of cold coffee.

    Mark Fergel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is one the merchant receipt and the other the customer receipt?

    Terry Rex
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No server is THAT handsome period!

    The other-other David Wong
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Yeah, again, someone thinks of a sh!¥ty way to hit on someone

    #48

    This Desperate-Sounding Receipt

    This Desperate-Sounding Receipt

    MikeFromSuburbia Report

    #49

    So We Asked For The Hottest Hot Mumma Burger At Grilled, This Was The Receipt

    So We Asked For The Hottest Hot Mumma Burger At Grilled, This Was The Receipt

    Psycobenny Report

    Firstname Lastname
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read this in tune to the Merrymen song (https://youtu.be/f5t17u7RxDE?t=35)

    Epona
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a feeling I knew exactly which song that was, without going to the link. I did anyway and I was right.

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    #50

    This Funny Message On A Receipt

    This Funny Message On A Receipt

    Report

    Monika
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are there random F's between t and s?

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    #51

    Just Had Sushi, This Was On The Receipt

    Just Had Sushi, This Was On The Receipt

    falcoty Report

    #52

    I Shipped A Toy And A Shirt. Here's The Receipt

    I Shipped A Toy And A Shirt. Here's The Receipt

    IGotYouBlue_ Report

    #53

    Beer Garden I Was At Printed An ASCII Beer Mug On The Receipt

    Beer Garden I Was At Printed An ASCII Beer Mug On The Receipt

    pac_cresco Report

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    #54

    The Receipt I Got Today (Read The Bottom)

    The Receipt I Got Today (Read The Bottom)

    Minitrain Report

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    #55

    A Friend Of Mine Went Through A Chick-Fil-A Drive-Thru And Saw This On The Receipt

    A Friend Of Mine Went Through A Chick-Fil-A Drive-Thru And Saw This On The Receipt

    vensates Report

    T5n
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back at my first job, we had a regular who would always get an americano for himself and a plate of bacon for his dog(named Winston). Whenever the would order, staff would put "for Winston" on the order.

    #56

    Ordered Some Food. They Forgot To Ask My Name For The Receipt So They Put This Instead. They Weren't Wrong

    Ordered Some Food. They Forgot To Ask My Name For The Receipt So They Put This Instead. They Weren't Wrong

    DatOneAsianDude Report

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope no one's offended but this amused me.... and glad OP still has sense of humor

    #57

    My McDonald's Delivery Receipt Seems To Say Obese

    My McDonald's Delivery Receipt Seems To Say Obese

    rtissy Report

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    #58

    I Got A Laugh At The Name Of The Cashier On My Friend's Pickup Receipt

    I Got A Laugh At The Name Of The Cashier On My Friend's Pickup Receipt

    Thor_Odenson Report

    Settled for Infamy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm more concerned about the vegetarian duck 🤔

    Hannah Hudson-Lee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd be more worried about the carnivorous duck. In fact, I am probably about to have nightmares about the carnivorous ducks. So thanks for that.

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    #59

    My Cousin Just Found This Receipt From A Recent Beach Trip. He's Still Trying To Figure Out What The Hell He Spent $6 On

    My Cousin Just Found This Receipt From A Recent Beach Trip. He's Still Trying To Figure Out What The Hell He Spent $6 On

    pepesilvia13 Report

    Whitey Black
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A Woo Woo is a drink that was popular with passengers traveling by railroad. The "woo woo" was the sound of the trains horn. And I also just made that up.

    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He or she was probably asked if he/she wants a woo woo and said yes, but blinked and missed the flash the server have him/her

    Kat Howard
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A woo woo is the name of a cocktail.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like a bargain to get Woo Woo for six bucks

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do they even make Sobe anymore??? Used to love Sobe Carrot Orange juice.

    RMA
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Recently in 2012? A full decade ago?

    #60

    The Last Position On My Receipt

    The Last Position On My Receipt

    JihaaaWallstreet Report

    Deamhayness Doom
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even funnier when you know that this is a toilet paper brand XD

    #61

    Twisted Root - Best Discounts

    Twisted Root - Best Discounts

    cheezy25 Report

    The other-other David Wong
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is some creepy way for them to hit on you poorly.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OH STOP IT, I WOULD BE AMUSED AT THIS, WTF..... seriously, I get the whole sensitivity thing, I have all kinds of things I get marginalized for, but I can't understand the lack of a twisted sense of humor in this sick world

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    #62

    Got A Steak At Sizzler And Never Looked At The Receipt Till Now

    Got A Steak At Sizzler And Never Looked At The Receipt Till Now

    YoutuberChris Report

    Cindy Lartigue
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not getting it....

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    #63

    I Was Going Through My Receipts Doing My Bills When Suddenly. I Think I Would Have Remembered This

    I Was Going Through My Receipts Doing My Bills When Suddenly. I Think I Would Have Remembered This

    GObutton Report

    T5n
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people call them Rocky Mountain Oysters

    Joanne Hudson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe they do these things to see who notices.

    rw55066
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a good price.... Unless you are a bull

    #64

    Receipt From Twisted Root In Dallas

    Receipt From Twisted Root In Dallas

    shleymoore Report

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope nobody downvotes me, but imo you are just as desperate to pick things apart so wtf you

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