Woman Kicks Sexist Dad Out After He Keeps Schooling Her About Things That Ended His Marriage
Pretty much anyone in a serious relationship knows just how important it is to support your partner. Not just through words but also with deeds! One part of this is finding a way to divide the chores that’s fair, practical, and makes sense for your household.
However, some older folks cling to the idea that it’s a woman’s ‘duty’ to do the chores while the man gets to kick back and do nothing. One anonymous woman told the AITA online community how she kicked her dad out of her house after he shared some pretty sexist comments about how she splits the chores with her partner. Check out the full story below.
Unfortunately, some folks don’t understand why it’s essential to split the chores in a relationship
Image credits: GeorgeRudy/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how her dad’s sexist comments about housework made him an unwelcome guest in her home
Image credits: elsavva99/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anonymous
In many relationships, women still do the lion’s share of the housework and childcare
Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
A recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that even in egalitarian marriages, where both partners earn more or less the same, there’s still in an imbalance in how both people divide the housework and childcare.
“Husbands in egalitarian marriages spend about 3.5 hours more per week on leisure activities than wives do. Wives in these marriages spend roughly 2 hours more per week on caregiving than husbands do and about 2.5 hours more on housework,” the study found.
According to the findings, the only category where men spent more time caregiving than their wives was when the latter were the sole breadwinners in the marriage. However, even in these cases, the amount of time both partners spent on household chores remained equal.
It is fundamental that both partners are on the same page when it comes to things like housework, childcare, finances, and work.
If one or even both people feel like they’ve been given the short end of the stick, then that sense of unfairness is bound to fester. That, in turn, might morph into frustration and anxiety about the future, poisoning the foundations of the relationship.
In short, everyone wants to be admired, respected, loved, and cared for by their partner. If you feel like you’re being exploited (whether for housework or for your wage), it’s hard to trust your significant other.
On the flip side, if you know that your partner sees you as an equal, you genuinely feel like you’re on the same team: playing on the same side instead of against each other. Minor quibbles over things like who gets to do the dishes time around will always happen. But they don’t have to turn into full-blown arguments so long as you remember you’re allies.
Couples need to sit down and figure out how they’re going to split the chores in a way that makes sense for them
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels (not the actual photo)
During an earlier interview with Bored Panda, relationship coach Alex Scot explained to us that it’s an absolute necessity to divide the chores up. That way, one partner won’t end up feeling like they’re the nanny.
The logical way to do this is to come up with a list of housework tasks that each person enjoys or doesn’t mind doing. For instance, someone might hate vacuuming or dusting, but their partner kind of loves it. So, it would make sense for the second person to take on those tasks.
Similarly, if the first person loves cooking and doesn’t mind washing up the huge pile of dishes they leave in their wake, it’s probably a good idea to let them embrace that.
Of course, there are bound to be chores that both partners detest. That’s natural! In that case, you’ll have to divide them as equally as you can, given your family’s unique context. To put it simply: take turns. And if anything seems not to be working, speak up! Be honest, talk about it. Don’t let your resentment fester. Nobody’s a mind-reader (though that would probably make relationships easier to navigate?).
In this day and age, it’s widespread for both partners to be working. With that in mind, it’s fair that both of them contribute to the housework and childcare. However, if one person works from home all the time or they have shorter hours, it might be fairer that they take on a bit more chores.
Similarly, if someone’s a stay-at-home parent, it might be the practical decision for them to do more than half of the housework and childcare. However, it’s a decision that both partners need to come to together. You probably want to avoid a scenario where one person does most (if not all) of the chores.
And no matter how much cash you bring back home and how much overtime you pull, you hard-working breadwinner, you still need to pitch in with the down-to-earth things like taking out the trash. At the end of the day, nobody should feel like they’re being forced to do an unfair amount of housework while their partner has endless leisure time.
The readers were quick to support the author’s decision. Here’s their perspective on what happened
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I do most of the housework cos my partner works ridiculous hours as a chef. I had a headstart cos my mother taught me how to cook when I was young. Only thing I refuse to do is ironing......life's too short for that 🤣
Nobody irons anymore, well only for special occasions anyway. 95% of my wardrobe is ironing free and I have thrown out ALL LINEN clothing, will never wear that c**p again.
Load More Replies... Archie Bunker was satire, OPs sad isn't a "typical guy for his age group" he's just a bitter AH. While expecting women to do more childcare, and be the ones to stay home was typical for boomers, they quite famously were more progressive than their childhoods in the 50s, pushing for civil rights and women's rights. Obviously still a work. In progress, but I don't do chores is quite the outlier, you really only hear about them on the internet and in friends explaining why their parents divorced and they don't do anything with their dad. I expect I'm ages with OP and none of my friends growing up had dad's that didn't help out and still stayed married. Chores split down the middle? Probably not, but not completely one sided. You're thinking of the Simpsons. OPs dad is an AH but it's not a generational foible. It's just being an AH.
When I was a kid, my brother and I both did household chores. Mom did everything else, except lawn mowing, repairs, grilling, and killing/evicting bugs. He would be in his recliner most of the time we did chores, and would reach behind to plug in the vacuum cord for me. This was completely normal at the time. I was probably around 30 before I ever saw him do anything that could be considered housework. By the time he reached retirement, he was good for emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, and vacuuming. Even so, it's a good thing he passed before Mom. I don't think he'd have had the skills and knowledge to keep himself and his home kept up. Mom's missing Dad like crazy, but she knows what and how to do things. I'd have worried constantly about Dad, if she'd gone first.
When my dad retired he said: It's unfair if you clean more and he started to do half. He would get mad if my mom wanted to do it. No that's my task! He helped her with cooking but he couldn't cook. He always put a pizza in the oven when he watched us as kids. My mom was first a housewife and then she got a part time job.
Load More Replies...
I do most of the housework cos my partner works ridiculous hours as a chef. I had a headstart cos my mother taught me how to cook when I was young. Only thing I refuse to do is ironing......life's too short for that 🤣
Nobody irons anymore, well only for special occasions anyway. 95% of my wardrobe is ironing free and I have thrown out ALL LINEN clothing, will never wear that c**p again.
Load More Replies... Archie Bunker was satire, OPs sad isn't a "typical guy for his age group" he's just a bitter AH. While expecting women to do more childcare, and be the ones to stay home was typical for boomers, they quite famously were more progressive than their childhoods in the 50s, pushing for civil rights and women's rights. Obviously still a work. In progress, but I don't do chores is quite the outlier, you really only hear about them on the internet and in friends explaining why their parents divorced and they don't do anything with their dad. I expect I'm ages with OP and none of my friends growing up had dad's that didn't help out and still stayed married. Chores split down the middle? Probably not, but not completely one sided. You're thinking of the Simpsons. OPs dad is an AH but it's not a generational foible. It's just being an AH.
When I was a kid, my brother and I both did household chores. Mom did everything else, except lawn mowing, repairs, grilling, and killing/evicting bugs. He would be in his recliner most of the time we did chores, and would reach behind to plug in the vacuum cord for me. This was completely normal at the time. I was probably around 30 before I ever saw him do anything that could be considered housework. By the time he reached retirement, he was good for emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, and vacuuming. Even so, it's a good thing he passed before Mom. I don't think he'd have had the skills and knowledge to keep himself and his home kept up. Mom's missing Dad like crazy, but she knows what and how to do things. I'd have worried constantly about Dad, if she'd gone first.
When my dad retired he said: It's unfair if you clean more and he started to do half. He would get mad if my mom wanted to do it. No that's my task! He helped her with cooking but he couldn't cook. He always put a pizza in the oven when he watched us as kids. My mom was first a housewife and then she got a part time job.
Load More Replies...
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