Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Woman Uncovers Mystery Behind 50YO Family Conflict, Aghast After Learning How Misogynistic It Was
Two men, one young and one older, sitting back-to-back with crossed arms, looking downcast. Symbolizes family feud caused by rejection.

Woman Uncovers Mystery Behind 50YO Family Conflict, Aghast After Learning How Misogynistic It Was

35

ADVERTISEMENT

Family is supposed to be the one unbreakable bond in a person’s life, but in some cases, it might actually be the source of the most drama. In fact, certain problems between relatives could be so deep-seated that they’re carried on by the next generation.

This is what a woman observed because of the intense “bad blood” between her family and her cousins, all due to a 50-year-old secret. After decades of wondering why both sides hated each other, when she finally learned the truth, she couldn’t believe it was all over a crush.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Sometimes family feuds might occur due to a silly reason, and it’s up to folks to figure out how to eventually resolve the issue

    Image credits: magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    The poster shared that there had been tension and drama between cousin Jeff’s family and her own, which was never explained to any of the younger generation

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: shurkin_son / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    When the woman turned 43, she asked her grandma about the conflict and learned that cousin Jeff had cut everyone off because he had an unrequited crush on the poster’s mom

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: ArthurHidden / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Even though Jeff had liked the poster’s mom in high school, nearly 50 years ago, he still harbored resentment that she had chosen someone else over him

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: SkelDry / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The woman’s mom even told her that though she was divorced and her ex was a serial cheater, she wouldn’t have picked Jeff to get into a relationship with

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: One_Tadpole7798

    The poster felt angry about Jeff’s entitlement to her mom and got banned from Thanksgiving for calling him a moron over it

    The woman explained that for the last couple of decades, her family and her cousin Jeff’s household refused to speak to each other. There was so much tension and drama among them that the poster couldn’t make sense of it, because none of the older folks were willing to tell her what had happened.

    When it comes to difficult family relationships like this, professionals explain that long-held resentment can fester, making it hard for folks to repair broken bonds. People might also conjure up ideas in their head about their estranged loved ones, which may even stop them from reconnecting in the future.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    This is exactly why the woman finally pleaded with her grandma to reveal why all of the cousins disliked each other so much. She was shocked to learn that the feud was actually because cousin Jeff had a crush on her mother in high school and got mad when it wasn’t reciprocated.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    According to therapists, when a person develops feelings for someone else, they might find it hard to accept the fact that the object of their affection doesn’t like them back. This lack of reciprocation can cause a great deal of pain and distress for the individual, making it difficult to move on.

    Image credits: magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    The woman was quite shocked that the 50 years of family drama that had torn the relatives apart was all due to Jeff’s crush. So she questioned her mom about it and learned that the cousin hadn’t even been friends with her in high school, but that he had just gotten mad that his crush married his family member.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The older woman also explained that she had chosen her husband for his personality, and even after their divorce, she would never have chosen Jeff as a partner. This means the entire family conflict was simply because the man felt entitled to the poster’s mom’s affection and threw a tantrum when she didn’t like him back.

    It is important for victims of unrequited love to understand that they shouldn’t allow their feelings of pain and distress to fester. Experts explain that such folks should do their best to move on and pursue a person who is genuinely interested in them, rather than holding out hope for someone who might have rejected their feelings.

    This situation caused the poster a lot of anger, and she couldn’t believe that cousin Jeff could tear their whole family apart just because of his entitlement. That’s why she called him a moron, but since her grandmother and other relatives sided with him, they banned her from Thanksgiving.

    Do you think the poster’s reaction was justified? We’d love to know your thoughts on the matter and if you know of any shocking family secrets like this.

    Folks were shocked by Jeff’s terrible behavior and also shared their own tales of drama and conflict among relatives

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook

    Explore more of these tags

    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    Read less »
    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    Eligijus Sinkunas

    Eligijus Sinkunas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I’m a visual editor for Bored Panda, trying to find and select high-quality images to enhance articles across different formats. With a keen eye for detail, my goal is to ensure that each picture helps to attract readers into captivating visual experiences. As a freelancer, I’m also working as a video editor for a YouTube channel that makes music games. After work, I like to play with guitar, go to karate classes or just relax at home at play video games.

    Read less »

    Eligijus Sinkunas

    Eligijus Sinkunas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I’m a visual editor for Bored Panda, trying to find and select high-quality images to enhance articles across different formats. With a keen eye for detail, my goal is to ensure that each picture helps to attract readers into captivating visual experiences. As a freelancer, I’m also working as a video editor for a YouTube channel that makes music games. After work, I like to play with guitar, go to karate classes or just relax at home at play video games.

    What do you think ?
    B Parke
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A sober thanksgiving sounds awful. I need booze to deal with family.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I think so, too, while *totally* being genuinely happy for those who’ve decided to shun it. I simply don’t wanna share in it. I’m glad I read this, as it makes the “feud” in my family seem … well, less stupid than this one. My ma and her four sisters went NC forever with their brother because he had five kids with his elegant first wife, who he dumped for someone they considered “tacky trailer-park trash,” and Brother wanted to be buried with the new wife in the family plot. That’s it: The burial plot. So at 66, I have five cousins I couldn’t pick out of a line-up. Hell; I don’t know their names! I usta meet with the Brother at his home for meals (kids were out of the house), and found him hilarious and his wife very sweet and kind. (A tiny bit tacky, but who cares?) (Ma and her sisters did!) They stayed together until he diеd five years ago. I feel awful those women cut him off for something incredibly stupid. Why would they CARE where someone’s former meatsack is buried? They’re D**D. 🤦🏻‍♀️ And there are five people out there I could bang by accident. Jesus christ. 🤬

    Load More Replies...
    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, we probably have to be grateful that Jeff didn't just mur.der the woman who 'betrayed' him; in the usual "if I can't have her, nobody will" style of this type of loser guys.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While you’re right, I’m thinking it’s Jeff who needs to be offed for (A) perpetuating all this stupid, needless hate, and for (2) making a buncha family members strangers to each other. (It happened to me; I detailed it in a post above.) That’s not only stupid and cruel, but it teaches kids they should yeet people from their lives for the pettiest of reasons, and that’s a lousy thing to teach ‘em. In my case, I keep thinking “What if the five cousins I don’t know are wonderful, kind, supportive people I’d love to have in my life?” Sure, maybe only three of ‘em are people I’d love, or only one, but the point is I WAS CHEATED OUT OF FINDING OUT. OP’s prolly busy right now attempting to reconcile with cousins she wasn’t allowed to talk to because JEFF IS ANGRY!

    Load More Replies...
    murmelinpaiva
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother-in-law and her sister didn't speak to each other for 40 years. When they finally reunited, neither one could remember what their old feud had been about.

    Load More Comments
    B Parke
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A sober thanksgiving sounds awful. I need booze to deal with family.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I think so, too, while *totally* being genuinely happy for those who’ve decided to shun it. I simply don’t wanna share in it. I’m glad I read this, as it makes the “feud” in my family seem … well, less stupid than this one. My ma and her four sisters went NC forever with their brother because he had five kids with his elegant first wife, who he dumped for someone they considered “tacky trailer-park trash,” and Brother wanted to be buried with the new wife in the family plot. That’s it: The burial plot. So at 66, I have five cousins I couldn’t pick out of a line-up. Hell; I don’t know their names! I usta meet with the Brother at his home for meals (kids were out of the house), and found him hilarious and his wife very sweet and kind. (A tiny bit tacky, but who cares?) (Ma and her sisters did!) They stayed together until he diеd five years ago. I feel awful those women cut him off for something incredibly stupid. Why would they CARE where someone’s former meatsack is buried? They’re D**D. 🤦🏻‍♀️ And there are five people out there I could bang by accident. Jesus christ. 🤬

    Load More Replies...
    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, we probably have to be grateful that Jeff didn't just mur.der the woman who 'betrayed' him; in the usual "if I can't have her, nobody will" style of this type of loser guys.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While you’re right, I’m thinking it’s Jeff who needs to be offed for (A) perpetuating all this stupid, needless hate, and for (2) making a buncha family members strangers to each other. (It happened to me; I detailed it in a post above.) That’s not only stupid and cruel, but it teaches kids they should yeet people from their lives for the pettiest of reasons, and that’s a lousy thing to teach ‘em. In my case, I keep thinking “What if the five cousins I don’t know are wonderful, kind, supportive people I’d love to have in my life?” Sure, maybe only three of ‘em are people I’d love, or only one, but the point is I WAS CHEATED OUT OF FINDING OUT. OP’s prolly busy right now attempting to reconcile with cousins she wasn’t allowed to talk to because JEFF IS ANGRY!

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    murmelinpaiva
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother-in-law and her sister didn't speak to each other for 40 years. When they finally reunited, neither one could remember what their old feud had been about.

    Load More Comments
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT