“Natural Births Are Just So Much More Rewarding”: Woman Goes Viral For Showcasing Just How Unhinged Mom Groups Are
Interview
Some parents are ruthless—for them, giving birth and raising kids is nothing short of a competition. And God forbid that you say or do something they don’t agree with, like ask about epidurals or C-sections. They’ll eat you alive on social media. However, in these sorts of situations, a good dose of humor can be a wonderful antidote to get rid of this negativity.
Digital creator, comedian, and mom Ceci Kane, @kanececi, went viral on TikTok after creating a video parody about angry and incredibly judgmental Facebook group moms, and it is scary how accurate it is. Scroll down to check out her witty video and how the internet reacted to it. Bored Panda reached out to Ceci for a chat about her parody, how she first got started making videos, and the advice she’d give new parents on how to respond to criticism. Read on for our full interview with her.
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Ceci Kane is a digital creator who films fantastic parodies. Recently, she went viral after poking fun at moms who shame other moms for getting C-sections
Image credits: kanececi
“Gave birth to my new son via C-section two days ago. Just wanted to let everybody know that we’re happy and healthy.”
“Well, technically, that’s not giving birth, but he is very cute.”
“LOL, right? When she said she gave birth and had a C-section in the same sentence.”
Image credits: kanececi
Image credits: kanececi
– I’m sorry. Are we in high school now or are we just gonna talk about her like she’s not here?
“What does she expect? This is a public group. Call me crazy, but I don’t know, maybe, congratulations.”
“Congrats, I gave birth to all five of my children in the comfort of my own home.”
Image credits: kanececi
Image credits: kanececi
– Okay. Would you like a gold star?
“I don’t know why so many people are so quick to jump to C-sections when natural births are just so much more rewarding.”
– Why do you care about the birthing methods of a stranger?
Image credits: kanececi
“Childbirth is the most natural thing a woman can do. Yeah, and sometimes that happens via C-section.”
“It’s not childbirth unless you’re delivering vaginally.”
“What a shame that the hospital system continues to push C-sections on women.”
Image credits: kanececi
– Yes. How dare they offer life-saving surgery?
“That’s just what the doctors tell you so that they can charge you for an expensive surgery.”
“Just wait till you all find out that I elected to have my C-section.”
“What a shame, you took the easy way out.”
“What part of major abdominal surgery that costs $50,000 or more is the easy way out?”
“Maybe the part where you just lay there and do literally none of the work.”
“I forgot how easy it was to take care of a newborn while recovering from surgery.”
– Oh my God!
You can watch the mom’s full viral video right over here
@kanececi Tr!gger!ng myself with this one 😵💫 #facebookgroup #momgroup #momsoftiktok #babiesoftiktok #csection #naturalbirth #debate #millennialmoms #iwearmanyhats ♬ original sound – Ceci
“If you’re in an online space that allows this type of behavior, block the haters and leave”
We were curious about the video’s major popularity. We asked Ceci about her thoughts on why it resonated with so many people on the internet. “Even though the content is pretty specific, I think a lot of people can relate to it because we’ve all experienced some level of shaming or criticism from strangers before, especially from behind a keyboard,” she told Bored Panda via email.
“I have followers with fully grown adult children tell me the criticism and judgement was like this before the internet was even around. Wild stuff.”
According to digital creator Ceci, parents ought to be receptive to feedback that could save their child’s life, for instance, car seat safety and safe sleep advice. “We shouldn’t be so quick to take it as a personal criticism,” she pointed out. However, there is a flip side. According to the mom, the people offering this advice need to make sure they’re approaching the entire situation appropriately—without judgment.
“We don’t know what other people are going through. Now, commenting on or criticizing someone’s birthing experience or feeding methods (breastmilk vs formula), that’s a whole different animal.”
Ceci told us that she doesn’t know why some people are so openly judgmental of others’ parenting choices. “If you’re in an online space that allows this type of behavior, block the haters and leave,” she said, referring to Facebook groups. “Especially if you’re a new parent,” she added.
“If my silly little videos can help someone during a difficult time, there’s no better reason to keep making content, in my opinion”
The mom opened up to Bored Panda that she was actually on TikTok for about a year before she started posting. “I admittedly cared way too much about what people would think of me, particularly people who knew me. My first comedy video was actually poking fun at the wild stuff that you find on freecycle Facebook pages, and I ran with that for a while,” she shared.
“It was fun, but I didn’t want it to be the only thing I talked about, so I decided to try it from the mom group angle, and it really resonated with people!” And her videos are making a genuinely positive impact.
“When a follower DMs me and tells me that they’re a first-time parent, or they’re in a bit of a dark place, but that my videos help them get through their day—those are the moments that inspire me to keep going. If my silly little videos can help someone during a difficult time, there’s no better reason to keep making content, in my opinion.”
However, things aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. Ceci pointed out that all content creators “experience a level of writer’s block or get stuck in a creative rut.”
She was very open about the fact that she’s climbing out of a creative rut right now. “It’s ok to not be inspired all the time, and if we force ourselves to make content when we are uninspired or unmotivated, the content isn’t going to be as good, and that’s not fun for anyone.”
Image credits: Aditya Romansa (not the actual photo)
Internet users really loved Ceci’s sense of humor
Digital creator Ceci explained to Today that when she was pregnant with her first child, she joined a Facebook group for moms and asked the members a question about epidurals. “I was trying to figure out my birth plan and was just hoping to get more information,” she said. Unfortunately, things took a wicked turn for the worse. The members of the group started victimizing her.
“Everybody was jumping down my throat for even having mentioned medication. It was all this fearmongering.” So Ceci started making parody videos about social media users who shame moms, and they were a home run—the internet absolutely loved them.
Take Ceci’s video about C-sections, for example. In less than a month, it got over 853k views and was like nearly 107k times. Her other parody videos are also incredibly popular. (Like yours truly likes to mumble, it’s funny cuz it’s true.) The creator has a whopping 104k followers on the video-sharing platform and has 6 million combined likes across all of her posts.
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
C-sections are widespread, but some moms still get shamed for getting them
Most of us realize that there are many different ways to raise kids. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach that would work for everyone. So some parents embrace the ‘natural consequences’ approach to raising their munchkins while others focus on increasing their sense of independence. Meanwhile, others might think that a more authoritative (but not authoritarian) approach suits their family best.
In short, the world’s so wide and full of so many different people that it’s ridiculous to expect everyone to conform to one single standard. Yet, there are individuals out there who genuinely believe that their approach is the only ‘correct’ one. For them, life is a crusade against anyone who so much dares to have an alternate opinion! But most of them are keyboard warriors—they’re super judgy behind the screen but probably wouldn’t ever dare say the same mean things in person
One topic that is slightly controversial is C-sections, aka cesarean deliveries. The sad reality is that some moms shame other moms if they give birth via C-section or take medication for the pain. For them, if it’s not a natural birth, it ‘doesn’t count.’ Which, obviously, is completely bonkers. Hadley Freeman, writing for The Guardian, said it very elegantly that, “If you want an experience, go to Disneyland. If you want a healthy baby, do whatever works.”
According to the data collected by the CDC, in the United States, a whopping 32.1% of all deliveries in 2021 were C-sections. This means that, potentially, a third of all American moms get shamed for how they gave birth to their kids. Parenting is hard enough as it is. Do we really need everyone at each other’s throats for what happens in the delivery room? As long as the mom and the baby are healthy and happy, it’s nobody else’s business.
Image credits: Christian Bowen (not the actual photo)
There are many different reasons why someone might opt for a cesarean delivery
As Natalist points out, there are various reasons why someone might get a C-section. For instance, some moms might be concerned for the baby, deal with multiple pregnancies, or have issues with their placenta. What’s more, there might be issues with the labor process or the baby might be exceptionally large.
Aside from that, there are other issues to consider, like maternal infections, and medical conditions like diabetes or high blood pressure. It is up to every mom to decide what is best for her, after talking things through with medical professionals. Ceci’s parodies are absolutely hilarious and, hopefully, they’ll help some parents be more empathetic toward other moms. If you enjoyed her TikToks as much as we did (we laughed way harder than we’d care to admit), don’t forget to follow her socials!
The digital creator has filmed lots of fantastic parodies. Here are a few of the best ones
@kanececi Can we just agree that we’re all tired and we all work hard? @thebasementyard taught me the banana trick 🍌 #facebookgroup #momgroup #pov #skit #momsoftiktok #babiesoftiktok #funny ♬ original sound – Ceci
@kanececi Some people really are way too concerned with the pooping habits of other peoples kids #facebookgroup #momgroup #pov #skit #momsoftiktok #toddlersoftiktok #pottytraining #millennialmom #iwearmanyhats ♬ original sound – Ceci
@kanececi It took my like 20 minutes to break that apple apart 🍎 #facebookgroup #momgroup #debate #startingsolids #babyledweaning #pov #skit #momsoftiktok #babiesoftiktok ♬ original sound – Ceci
Here’s what some TikTok users had to say about Ceci’s video on C-sections
I am a week away from my scheduled c-section. People who say I didn't "give birth," "took the easy way out," or was "pressured" do not understand that I had no intention of having a c-section! I labored for three days with my first, made it to 4cm, and then no more. What was I supposed to do, lay there and try for another three days until we both died?! With my second after 12 hours my doctor let me know he had the OR ready. With this one, I am not gonna even try. Literally, my pelvis never spread so natural birth isn't happening. You can f**k off if you want to assume I am being lazy! Moms do what is best for them and their baby!!!
I had 2 sections; first was because I had so many complications (was told I would never bring a child to term, then it was daily meds to keep him in longer which led to meds every 4 hours) and when I FINALLY hit 35 weeks, I was taken off meds. He waited until 40 weeks and then decided he was NOT going to leave. After 5 hours of pushing, it was decided to call it and get sectioned (by this point, I'd been inducted and was pushing correctly- his head was just wedged in there). Right before I passed out, they lifted him over the curtain and I said "GOOD LORD HES HUGE!!". He was 9 lbs 14 ozs. Then with my second, because we lived about an hour from the nearest hospital, they wanted to get him out before I had any issues. Some people just CANT deliver vaginally. And that c-section was THE most painful surgery I've ever had, and I have a spinal stimulator with wires around my spine and an implanted battery pack!
I've had 4 natural births and was up and about in hours - the idea of a c-section scares the living s**t out of me! It's in no way the easy option - you may not feel it at the time but the recovery is way more difficult - I very much doubt I'd have been at the supermarket pushing a trolley the next day if I'd had one. Birth is the child leaving your body, however that's done doesn't change that. Folk sure do like to judge people for everything
i was a c section. should all my birthday cards just read "happy day you were EXTRACTED. REMOVED. LIKE A TUMOUR"
😂😂😂 Same, also born by C-section, I would have died if it didn't happen.
Load More Replies...
Why would any decent person be in a Facebook Moms group? I have heard nothing but horror stories.
As a woman who has had a horrible history of pregnancies, with many complications that the Drs could not figure out IF A DR SAYS YOU NEED A C-SECTION IT WILL USUALLY BE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH OF THE BABY. DO NOT SCREW WITH THE LIFE OF YOU CHILD AND JUST HAVE THE FREAKING C-SECTION! IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A MOTHER. DELIVERING A STILLBORN CHILD IS THE OTHER OPTION!
Yup, C-section baby here and I indeed would have died if it didn't occur. My cousin passed away because of the same compilations as I had when I was being born, only difference is that my mother had a brilliant gynaecologist who immediately had a C-section performed once she determined that waiting for me to be born normally would result in death since my heartbeat was already slowing.
Load More Replies... Many mom groups are super toxic and members literally try to out-mom each other. How long did the delivery take, who was in the most pain, who had the heaviest baby... it's ridiculous. It gets even worse the older the kids are. Then it's all about the most "original" baby names, the "healthiest" baby food etc etc. Nothing could motivate me to re-join a group like that. I don't need constant validation for being a "good mom"
I tell my niece it's a good thing she was C-section because she was too comfy and wouldn't have left any other way. I was the support person when my sister gave birth to her and one of the doctors literally had to jump up and lay completely across my sister's stomach to get the baby pushed into a position to pull her out. Even then there was a lot of pushing and pulling by them all to get her out. Thank goodness it wasn't done on an emergency basis (like my nephew was), or we might have lost her. It was comical to watch and the doctors were laughing about her stubbornness to not want to leave. We still have our own special bond since i was the first one to hold her.
People born by C-section can kill Macbeth. I call that 1-0 to us (the C-section babies)
I was a c-section baby and my mom and I like to joke that I was a tumor removal :P
Lol, hysterical, and so relevant. Idk why anyone gives AF how someone else's birth went other than to care whether everyone survived or not. Even in the 80s, when I was born, same s**t, different generation. But my mom had me half out naturally after 24 hrs of pushing, I got stuck, they pushed me back inside that poor woman and cut me out via c section. Most people aren't given a choice, if a natural birth results in the death of 2 people, when the hospital can easily save both lives, they're gonna do the c section whether you want it or not. End of story. And if you choose a c section based on doctor recommendations for your condition, follow the advice. Or you might have a baby involuntarily shoved back into you after 24 hrs, and have your gut cut wide open anyway. All mothers should be proud, no matter what the method used was, good on you for picking the best option for YOU.
I don't know what hospitals are "pushing for C Sections", but we were clearly advised to try a natural birth if at all possible and to certainly not elect for C-Section out of any sort idea of "convenience." After 2 1/2 days in labor, we ended up having to do one anyways and let me tell you boys and girls, it is NOT a walk in the park. It is MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY. My wife went through weeks of feeling like her guts were going to spill out of her belly. Those first few days after, you're stuck in a hospital room, bed ridden by it, in pain and initially unable to even sit up. You don't get to lie there though because the nurses will push you to start moving and walking regardless of the pain because otherwise recovery will take forever. The whole time, you got a tiny new life that needs constant care and you're anxious about SIDS and the room smells and you can't get comfortable or get any real sleep, miserable, praying to be discharged. F off C-Section judgemental idiots.
I think the idea that they are pushed is that, because of scar tissue and it potentially ripping open on its own, the common practice is if a woman has had a C-section once, then it's best all future births be planned C-section. Too many people saying doctors only tell women it's safer in order to get paid more. 🙄
Load More Replies...
I have 3 kids and having them were 3 very different experiences. 1) normal birth at the hospital with laughing gas as the pain control. It was nice. 2) super fast birth where I only was in the delivery room for 6min before she was out. Didn't get any pain control besides my own breathing technique. Was a wild but awesome birth, actually. 3) acute c-section/sorta planned but not really. Was hell. Had internal bleeding afterwards and had to undergo surgery again. Was injected with medication every day for over a month to prevent blood clots. My general anxoety levels went sky high and I still struggle with it now after 1.5 years. Who ever claimed that c-sections were an easy way out!?!? To me it was the worst thing I have ever experienced. I mean... my bf had serious fears about perhaps being a lone dad of 3 kids all of a sudden. It was that serious! C-sections should only be a last resort, imo.
I am a week away from my scheduled c-section. People who say I didn't "give birth," "took the easy way out," or was "pressured" do not understand that I had no intention of having a c-section! I labored for three days with my first, made it to 4cm, and then no more. What was I supposed to do, lay there and try for another three days until we both died?! With my second after 12 hours my doctor let me know he had the OR ready. With this one, I am not gonna even try. Literally, my pelvis never spread so natural birth isn't happening. You can f**k off if you want to assume I am being lazy! Moms do what is best for them and their baby!!!
I had 2 sections; first was because I had so many complications (was told I would never bring a child to term, then it was daily meds to keep him in longer which led to meds every 4 hours) and when I FINALLY hit 35 weeks, I was taken off meds. He waited until 40 weeks and then decided he was NOT going to leave. After 5 hours of pushing, it was decided to call it and get sectioned (by this point, I'd been inducted and was pushing correctly- his head was just wedged in there). Right before I passed out, they lifted him over the curtain and I said "GOOD LORD HES HUGE!!". He was 9 lbs 14 ozs. Then with my second, because we lived about an hour from the nearest hospital, they wanted to get him out before I had any issues. Some people just CANT deliver vaginally. And that c-section was THE most painful surgery I've ever had, and I have a spinal stimulator with wires around my spine and an implanted battery pack!
I've had 4 natural births and was up and about in hours - the idea of a c-section scares the living s**t out of me! It's in no way the easy option - you may not feel it at the time but the recovery is way more difficult - I very much doubt I'd have been at the supermarket pushing a trolley the next day if I'd had one. Birth is the child leaving your body, however that's done doesn't change that. Folk sure do like to judge people for everything
i was a c section. should all my birthday cards just read "happy day you were EXTRACTED. REMOVED. LIKE A TUMOUR"
😂😂😂 Same, also born by C-section, I would have died if it didn't happen.
Load More Replies... Why would any decent person be in a Facebook Moms group? I have heard nothing but horror stories.
As a woman who has had a horrible history of pregnancies, with many complications that the Drs could not figure out IF A DR SAYS YOU NEED A C-SECTION IT WILL USUALLY BE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH OF THE BABY. DO NOT SCREW WITH THE LIFE OF YOU CHILD AND JUST HAVE THE FREAKING C-SECTION! IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A MOTHER. DELIVERING A STILLBORN CHILD IS THE OTHER OPTION!
Yup, C-section baby here and I indeed would have died if it didn't occur. My cousin passed away because of the same compilations as I had when I was being born, only difference is that my mother had a brilliant gynaecologist who immediately had a C-section performed once she determined that waiting for me to be born normally would result in death since my heartbeat was already slowing.
Load More Replies... Many mom groups are super toxic and members literally try to out-mom each other. How long did the delivery take, who was in the most pain, who had the heaviest baby... it's ridiculous. It gets even worse the older the kids are. Then it's all about the most "original" baby names, the "healthiest" baby food etc etc. Nothing could motivate me to re-join a group like that. I don't need constant validation for being a "good mom"
I tell my niece it's a good thing she was C-section because she was too comfy and wouldn't have left any other way. I was the support person when my sister gave birth to her and one of the doctors literally had to jump up and lay completely across my sister's stomach to get the baby pushed into a position to pull her out. Even then there was a lot of pushing and pulling by them all to get her out. Thank goodness it wasn't done on an emergency basis (like my nephew was), or we might have lost her. It was comical to watch and the doctors were laughing about her stubbornness to not want to leave. We still have our own special bond since i was the first one to hold her.
People born by C-section can kill Macbeth. I call that 1-0 to us (the C-section babies)
I was a c-section baby and my mom and I like to joke that I was a tumor removal :P
Lol, hysterical, and so relevant. Idk why anyone gives AF how someone else's birth went other than to care whether everyone survived or not. Even in the 80s, when I was born, same s**t, different generation. But my mom had me half out naturally after 24 hrs of pushing, I got stuck, they pushed me back inside that poor woman and cut me out via c section. Most people aren't given a choice, if a natural birth results in the death of 2 people, when the hospital can easily save both lives, they're gonna do the c section whether you want it or not. End of story. And if you choose a c section based on doctor recommendations for your condition, follow the advice. Or you might have a baby involuntarily shoved back into you after 24 hrs, and have your gut cut wide open anyway. All mothers should be proud, no matter what the method used was, good on you for picking the best option for YOU.
I don't know what hospitals are "pushing for C Sections", but we were clearly advised to try a natural birth if at all possible and to certainly not elect for C-Section out of any sort idea of "convenience." After 2 1/2 days in labor, we ended up having to do one anyways and let me tell you boys and girls, it is NOT a walk in the park. It is MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY. My wife went through weeks of feeling like her guts were going to spill out of her belly. Those first few days after, you're stuck in a hospital room, bed ridden by it, in pain and initially unable to even sit up. You don't get to lie there though because the nurses will push you to start moving and walking regardless of the pain because otherwise recovery will take forever. The whole time, you got a tiny new life that needs constant care and you're anxious about SIDS and the room smells and you can't get comfortable or get any real sleep, miserable, praying to be discharged. F off C-Section judgemental idiots.
I think the idea that they are pushed is that, because of scar tissue and it potentially ripping open on its own, the common practice is if a woman has had a C-section once, then it's best all future births be planned C-section. Too many people saying doctors only tell women it's safer in order to get paid more. 🙄
Load More Replies... I have 3 kids and having them were 3 very different experiences. 1) normal birth at the hospital with laughing gas as the pain control. It was nice. 2) super fast birth where I only was in the delivery room for 6min before she was out. Didn't get any pain control besides my own breathing technique. Was a wild but awesome birth, actually. 3) acute c-section/sorta planned but not really. Was hell. Had internal bleeding afterwards and had to undergo surgery again. Was injected with medication every day for over a month to prevent blood clots. My general anxoety levels went sky high and I still struggle with it now after 1.5 years. Who ever claimed that c-sections were an easy way out!?!? To me it was the worst thing I have ever experienced. I mean... my bf had serious fears about perhaps being a lone dad of 3 kids all of a sudden. It was that serious! C-sections should only be a last resort, imo.
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