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“AITA For Expecting My Ex-GF To Move Out After She Broke Up With Me?”
Upset guy asks ex to move out after breakup while she faces dropping out of school in a tense home setting.

“AITA For Expecting My Ex-GF To Move Out After She Broke Up With Me?”

Interview With Expert

46

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Breakups are already tricky enough to deal with. You’re parting ways with someone you’ve emotionally invested in, and in some cases, it may take a while before you can bounce back. 

What can complicate these situations further is if the couple was living together. This was what a woman went through after breaking up with her live-in boyfriend. Upon realizing she may end up homeless, she tried to get back with him and “work things out.” 

The man, however, thought it was only fair to kick out his former partner, who ultimately broke his heart. Read the entire story below, along with the short conversations we had with a few experts. 

RELATED:

    Breakups become more complicated if the couple had been living together

    Young man in a yellow hoodie thoughtfully clasping hands, illustrating guy asks ex to move out after breakup concern.

    Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    This couple had been living together for two years, until things got problematic one day

    Text excerpt discussing a guy asking his ex to move out after breakup and her concern about dropping out of school.

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    Text excerpt about Megan quitting her job to pursue a master's degree full-time with financial support during school.

    Text about a guy asking his ex to move out after breakup and her concern about dropping out of school.

    Text about working fulltime and managing house chores like cooking and cleaning while maintaining the home in decent shape after breakup.

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    Text excerpt about someone’s thoughts on cooking and home comfort after breakup, mentioning basic dinners.

    Man washing dishes in kitchen after breakup, reflecting on ex needing to move out and impact on her schooling plans.

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    The woman ended up calling for a break-up, resulting in her getting kicked out of her ex-boyfriend’s home

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    Text excerpt describing relationship stress and tension after a breakup causing conflict over living situation and school decisions.

    Text excerpt about a guy asking his ex to move out after breakup leading to a discussion on dropping out of school.

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    Text on white background about a guy asking his ex to move out after breakup, causing her to consider dropping out of school.

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    Text on screen saying the guy feels it’s fair for his ex to move out after their breakup.

    Text discussing a guy asking his ex to move out after breakup, and her saying she may drop out of school.

    Man asking ex to move out looking stressed, while woman stands nearby, highlighting breakup and school dropout concerns.

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    She tried to come back to him to work things out, but he believes he should stand his ground

    Text excerpt about a woman using inheritance money to cover tuition before being financially stuck after a breakup.

    Man asks ex to move out after breakup, conflict arises as she threatens to drop out of school.

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    Text excerpt about a guy asking his ex to move out after breakup and her struggling with school impact.

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    Text on a screen asking if it's unreasonable to expect an ex to move out after a breakup.

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    There is an upside to continuing to live together after a breakup

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    There are obvious drawbacks to continuing to live together after a breakup. As licensed mental health counselor Jennifer Vincent, LMHC, CSAYC, tells Bored Panda, it can blur emotional lines and prolong the healing process. 

    As she pointed out, resentment can build quickly, especially if one partner continues to hold on to the hope of getting back together while the other is emotionally checked out. 

    However, there are upsides, too, albeit short-term. According to Garry Greenberg, Esq., founder of The Smart Law Group and a veteran divorce lawyer, it can help the couple address their issues, especially if they aren’t yet married. It can also provide financial assistance. 

    In the story’s case, the woman would be left in a financial bind if she were to move out. And given that the couple had been together for years, should the man feel obligated to help his former partner? 

    “No, the end of the relationship should end any responsibility of any kind,” said Greenberg, who has 40 years of experience under his belt. 

    “Otherwise, the partner in ‘dire straits’ is going to use that guilt to hold the other partner in a relationship that is ended. This is not healthy for either partner.”

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    You can always support a former partner, but not at the expense of your inner peace

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    Despite the breakup, the author seems to still care for his former partner. He said it himself: “I don’t want to see her crash and burn.” However, his apprehension about continuing with the living situation is also understandable. 

    If he does decide to help her in some way, Vincent says the man should not sacrifice his inner peace. 

    “That might look like helping them connect to resources, giving them a realistic timeline, or supporting them from a distance,” she advises. 

    Offering financial support may also be an option. However, relationship therapist Rebecca Williams, LMFT, emphasizes the importance of firm boundaries. 

    “If you say they need to be out in 3 months, you actually need to ask them to leave in 3 months. If you say 3 months and then allow them to stay for 6, that’s on you,” she said.  

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    The author should stand by his decision, especially if he feels like it would be the best for the situation. Suddenly going back on his word would make him look indecisive, even weak and less respectable.

    Most people sided with the man and compelled him not to take her back

    Reddit discussion about a guy asking his ex to move out after breakup and her threat to drop out of school.

    Online discussion about a guy asking his ex to move out after breakup and her concern about dropping out of school.

    Reddit conversation discussing a guy asking his ex to move out and her concern about dropping out of school.

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    Comment discussing breakup consequences after guy asks ex to move out following relationship end.

    Reddit user discusses breakup, asking ex to move out while she claims she may have to drop out of school.

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    Comment discussing breakup, ex moving out, and impact on school with focus on relationship and education challenges.

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    Comment discussing a breakup where ex staying affects her school plans and advice about moving out after a breakup.

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    Comment discussing a breakup where a guy asks his ex to move out and she threatens to drop out of school.

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    But some believed he was at fault

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    Comment on Reddit discussing a breakup where a guy asks his ex to move out as she might have to drop out of school.

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    Poll Question

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    What do you think ?
    T Barth
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She didn't have her ducks in a row before making decision to break up. Consequences of her actions. What did she think would happen knowing the house is his via inheritance? That he would be the one to leave?

    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why can't she pitch in with the household chores? Her homework can't be that extreme that she has absolutely no free time away from studying. If it is, perhaps the course is over her head and she should have pursued a field better in line with her abilities. He's not obligated to keep her there, either. Unless he has a written tenant/landlord contract with her, he's not under tenancy laws that dictate he has to give her any time at all to leave. She should have planned better and done more to secure herself in the event of a relationship break down before deciding to take advantage of her accommodating boyfriend-now-ex.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know what degree OP's ex is pursuing, but my little cousin has TWO Masters degrees (one is in teaching/education, not sure about the other) and she still managed to volunteer for church stuff, work at her parents' business, and help care for her dad (who has Parkinson's) while she was getting both degrees. Yes, she lived at home with her parents (a few houses down from where I live) and her coursework was heavy, but she still managed to work, help with her dad's care and help around the house, and do her churchy stuff while earning her degrees. I doubt OP's ex has ZERO free time.

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    Mel in Georgia
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hot take, but it sounds like she thought she had it figured out until the relationship just wasn't working. The excuses about his maintenance of the house could just be what she could come up with when she just wasn't feeling it. I feel for them both. He's absolutely entitled to give her the boot, but I get both his feelings of guilt and her feelings of panic. He's held up his end of the relationship, however, and it's up to her to figure out how to move forward without his support. Good luck to them both!

    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She’s likely 25+, she should be able to figure it out. She could even take out loans or try for support. Or work with the school find a part time job. Probably her issue is that to do this she’ll have to take a drop in standard of living. I.e. shared housing and rice and beans. Poor baby

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    T Barth
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She didn't have her ducks in a row before making decision to break up. Consequences of her actions. What did she think would happen knowing the house is his via inheritance? That he would be the one to leave?

    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why can't she pitch in with the household chores? Her homework can't be that extreme that she has absolutely no free time away from studying. If it is, perhaps the course is over her head and she should have pursued a field better in line with her abilities. He's not obligated to keep her there, either. Unless he has a written tenant/landlord contract with her, he's not under tenancy laws that dictate he has to give her any time at all to leave. She should have planned better and done more to secure herself in the event of a relationship break down before deciding to take advantage of her accommodating boyfriend-now-ex.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know what degree OP's ex is pursuing, but my little cousin has TWO Masters degrees (one is in teaching/education, not sure about the other) and she still managed to volunteer for church stuff, work at her parents' business, and help care for her dad (who has Parkinson's) while she was getting both degrees. Yes, she lived at home with her parents (a few houses down from where I live) and her coursework was heavy, but she still managed to work, help with her dad's care and help around the house, and do her churchy stuff while earning her degrees. I doubt OP's ex has ZERO free time.

    Load More Replies...
    Mel in Georgia
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hot take, but it sounds like she thought she had it figured out until the relationship just wasn't working. The excuses about his maintenance of the house could just be what she could come up with when she just wasn't feeling it. I feel for them both. He's absolutely entitled to give her the boot, but I get both his feelings of guilt and her feelings of panic. He's held up his end of the relationship, however, and it's up to her to figure out how to move forward without his support. Good luck to them both!

    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She’s likely 25+, she should be able to figure it out. She could even take out loans or try for support. Or work with the school find a part time job. Probably her issue is that to do this she’ll have to take a drop in standard of living. I.e. shared housing and rice and beans. Poor baby

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