Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
72
Woman’s College Bestie Ghosts Her During Darkest Moments, Then Pops Back Up With Pregnancy News
Interview With ExpertFriendships can be tricky, especially when they come with unexpected ghosting episodes. Imagine being in the middle of grief and loss, expecting comfort from your best friend, only to find out that your support system has disappeared.
Well, today’s Original Poster (OP) found herself in this exact position when her friend ghosted her not once, but twice, and let’s just say, her response to the situation was nothing short of a social conundrum.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
There’s nothing quite like facing a crisis to reveal who your true friends are
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s best friend had a habit of ghosting her whenever she was in emotional pain, like when she lost her dog or her father
Image credits: Electronic_Wolf1967
Image credits: yannamelissa / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She had made peace with it, until the friend reached out randomly one day
Image credits: Electronic_Wolf1967
Image credits: pressahotkey / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She used the opportunity to tell her friend how much her actions had hurt her, but in turn, her friend announced that she was pregnant
Image credits: Electronic_Wolf1967
This left the author wondering how to respond to the announcement as she didn’t want to be manipulated back into the friendship
The OP had lost her dog, and in the middle of grieving, her college best friend completely ghosted her. However, what was baffling was that this wasn’t the first time it had happened. Years ago, the same friend disappeared when her father passed away. While the OP worked through the hurt with the help of therapy, she had long given up on seeking comfort from her friend.
Fast forward to one random day, and her friend suddenly reached out. Naturally, the OP was skeptical, however she laid it all out there, calling out how hurt she was by her absence during some of her darkest moments.
However, this was where the plot thickened. Her friend dropped a bombshell when she told the OP that she was pregnant, meaning she would soon become an aunt. Now, we’ve all heard of people rekindling old relationships via a “life event”, but in this case, the OP refused to be roped back into the friendship via a child.
After wondering how to respond to the message in such a way that showed her disinterest in being friends with her again, she left a simple congratulatory message. However, in an update, the OP mentioned that her friend wasn’t happy with her response. Still, the OP reminded her that at least she hadn’t ignored the message the way she had always dismissed her in times of grief.
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To better understand why people ghost their friends, especially during difficult times, Bored Panda reached out to psychologist Christabell Madondo for insight. According to her, some individuals may withdraw due to emotional instability or an inability to process both their own and others’ emotions.
“Some people struggle with offering comfort, so they instinctively distance themselves,” she explained, adding that ghosting can be both intentional and subconscious depending on the person’s coping mechanisms. However, she emphasized that true friendship requires presence and support, stating, “A person isn’t your friend if they’re not there to support you in your darkest moments.”
Being abandoned by a close friend during a crisis can leave lasting emotional scars. She noted that it often triggers feelings of loneliness, rejection, and abandonment, making someone question the authenticity of the friendship.
This pain is even deeper for those with past abandonment issues, as it reinforces insecurities and distrust. “The emotional distress from being ghosted can also lead to frustration and resentment,” she explained, pointing out that these experiences can make it harder to trust and build future relationships.
When asked how someone can decide whether to give an old friend another chance or protect their peace, she suggested a pros and cons list as a useful tool. “Has your life improved without them? Do you feel happier and healthier without their presence?” she advised, encouraging self-reflection on the emotional impact of their absence.
If there’s lingering uncertainty, she recommended giving yourself time to process the decision. Ultimately, the most important factor is personal desire, “Do you truly want them back in your life?” The answer to that will determine the next step.
Netizens supported the OP’s decision to stand firm and not tolerate the mistreatment from her friend. They insisted that she was not in the wrong for expressing her hurt and setting boundaries. Others even speculated that her friend’s sudden reappearance likely has selfish motives, stating, “She is thinking of baby gifts and free babysitting.”
If you were in the OP’s shoes, would you consider forgiving your friend, or would you walk away for good? Please, let us know what you think!
Netizens urged the author to stand firm on not letting the friend back into her life
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
PunchinelloTX 10 months ago
As someone who has spent a lifetime being the caregiver to a herd of messy people, and as someone who regretfully had to share with said people that I’ve been diagnosed with an incurable disorder that will take me sooner rather than later, I knew some would flip out and disappear, but not all. They all have. And you know what? What a relief. Hard times are only made harder by false friends. I feel for the OP, but she is in fact better off and brava for sticking up for herself.
WonderWoman 10 months ago
I am so very sorry.🫂 I hope you have found peace and support.
Load More Replies...
Romy Rösli 10 months ago
I agree with the commenters saying the „friend“ wanted something from OP. Baby shower, gifts, free babysitting, or whatever.
ThisIsMe 10 months ago
I had a "friend" like that who would just never acknowledge someone else's loss. She would send tulips with standard florist card (she thought tulips were her "signature" flower) and that's it. Never attend a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, anything like that because she didn't "do death". When my father passed away suddenly, my aunt hosted a lunch at her home for family and friends as a celebration of life prior to the formal memorial. My so-called best friend wasn't going to attend until her husband made her (he had also been friendly with my daddy). But she wouldn't allow her kids to come because "she didn't want to expose them to death". How in the world did I ever consider her my best friends?!? Or a friend at all?
MalayDragon 9 months ago
I've been ghosted twice by people I thought were close. Guy I was really good friends with (or so I thought) ghosted me when I started dating a girl he didn't like. Reached out a few years later saying he was getting married and wanted to reconnect. Said Congrats and never saw or spoke to him again. The other was a girl I dated briefly in highschool, who came from a religious family, her mother was a freaking whack job, she told me she was gay, I was the first person she'd told. I helped her through all the negative s**t, abuse from her mother and her family members, abuse from the people at school who teased her (it was the 90s, people we're less accepting). Years of just supporting her being a shoulder to cry on, a confidant, in her words "The one man in her life that supported her and loved her unconditionally" only to be fully ghosted, then finding out through a mutual friend she'd gotten married to her long time girlfriend, I was not invited to that wedding. That Hurt the most.
Re dacted (Ace) 9 months ago
People very often don't deserve second chances, never mind third. Don't forgive them, forget them. They don't deserve the mental or emotional real estate in your mind.
Wysteria_Rose 10 months ago
Ex-friend had done this. I had moved out of state for a few years and when I got back, I was excited to get together to catch up. However, after attempts to connect over lunch or on weekends, she just always had an excuse; we're going out of town, I'm too busy, I don't have the money for lunch out right now, sorry. I tried to be forgiving but then when I quit reaching out to her, she didn't bother even reaching out to me, which was telling how much she actually cared. I finally get a message from her: she's pregnant and is inviting me to her baby shower. I found it rather gauche that the first time she actually initiates anything at all is for a party for her where I am required to bring a gift. I quietly RSVP'd no. She has a third party friend message me and ask why I wasn't going to attend. I told her, "I'm afraid I'm busy that day and am not available. I will gladly send her a card and gift card." They said, 'oh I'm sure she'd love to meet you for lunch.' Nope. I was done. Gladly.
PunchinelloTX 10 months ago
As someone who has spent a lifetime being the caregiver to a herd of messy people, and as someone who regretfully had to share with said people that I’ve been diagnosed with an incurable disorder that will take me sooner rather than later, I knew some would flip out and disappear, but not all. They all have. And you know what? What a relief. Hard times are only made harder by false friends. I feel for the OP, but she is in fact better off and brava for sticking up for herself.
WonderWoman 10 months ago
I am so very sorry.🫂 I hope you have found peace and support.
Load More Replies... Romy Rösli 10 months ago
I agree with the commenters saying the „friend“ wanted something from OP. Baby shower, gifts, free babysitting, or whatever.
ThisIsMe 10 months ago
I had a "friend" like that who would just never acknowledge someone else's loss. She would send tulips with standard florist card (she thought tulips were her "signature" flower) and that's it. Never attend a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, anything like that because she didn't "do death". When my father passed away suddenly, my aunt hosted a lunch at her home for family and friends as a celebration of life prior to the formal memorial. My so-called best friend wasn't going to attend until her husband made her (he had also been friendly with my daddy). But she wouldn't allow her kids to come because "she didn't want to expose them to death". How in the world did I ever consider her my best friends?!? Or a friend at all?
MalayDragon 9 months ago
I've been ghosted twice by people I thought were close. Guy I was really good friends with (or so I thought) ghosted me when I started dating a girl he didn't like. Reached out a few years later saying he was getting married and wanted to reconnect. Said Congrats and never saw or spoke to him again. The other was a girl I dated briefly in highschool, who came from a religious family, her mother was a freaking whack job, she told me she was gay, I was the first person she'd told. I helped her through all the negative s**t, abuse from her mother and her family members, abuse from the people at school who teased her (it was the 90s, people we're less accepting). Years of just supporting her being a shoulder to cry on, a confidant, in her words "The one man in her life that supported her and loved her unconditionally" only to be fully ghosted, then finding out through a mutual friend she'd gotten married to her long time girlfriend, I was not invited to that wedding. That Hurt the most.
Re dacted (Ace) 9 months ago
People very often don't deserve second chances, never mind third. Don't forgive them, forget them. They don't deserve the mental or emotional real estate in your mind.
Wysteria_Rose 10 months ago
Ex-friend had done this. I had moved out of state for a few years and when I got back, I was excited to get together to catch up. However, after attempts to connect over lunch or on weekends, she just always had an excuse; we're going out of town, I'm too busy, I don't have the money for lunch out right now, sorry. I tried to be forgiving but then when I quit reaching out to her, she didn't bother even reaching out to me, which was telling how much she actually cared. I finally get a message from her: she's pregnant and is inviting me to her baby shower. I found it rather gauche that the first time she actually initiates anything at all is for a party for her where I am required to bring a gift. I quietly RSVP'd no. She has a third party friend message me and ask why I wasn't going to attend. I told her, "I'm afraid I'm busy that day and am not available. I will gladly send her a card and gift card." They said, 'oh I'm sure she'd love to meet you for lunch.' Nope. I was done. Gladly.
You May Like Couple Offers Embryos To Friends In Need, Calls It Off After Their Real Intentions Come To Light Woman Can’t Stand In-Laws’ Mocking Of Her Cooking, Vents Online And Starts Making New Life Plans Delusional Friend Of 22 Years Asks For Financial Support As She Wants To Quit Her Job And Travel
Gabija Palšytė
Denis Krotovas
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
47
13