“I Flat Out Said No”: Family Drama Erupts When Man Promises Daughter Will Babysit

If you don’t have kids of your own, the day you become an aunt or uncle will likely be full of joy and excitement. Finally, there’s a tiny, adorable member of the family that you can spoil without being burdened with all the responsibilities of being a mom or dad! If your sibling doesn’t understand boundaries, however, they might try to pass off some of their parental duties to you… 

One woman reached out to Reddit after her family volunteered her as a babysitter without ever consulting her first. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a couple updates the author later shared and some of the advice readers weighed in with.

Being an aunt or uncle can be tons of fun

Woman playing with a child on a carpet, with toys and a basket in the background, related to babysitting.

Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But when this woman was told, rather than asked, to babysit her nieces and nephews, she decided to set boundaries with her family

Text about parents expecting their daughter to babysit, causing family tension.

Text describing a refusal to babysit without prior agreement, questioning the expectation.

Text message expressing frustration over being volunteered as a babysitter without consent, with refusal to help.

Text conversation about a daughter refusing to babysit after parents volunteer her without asking.

Text about a daughter refusing to babysit after parents volunteer her without asking.

Text screenshot discussing refusal to babysit after parents volunteer daughter without asking her first.

Image credits: thats_nice_idc

Readers shared their thoughts, as well as some suggestions for the author, and she joined in on the conversation

Text exchange about parents volunteering daughter as babysitter, humorously questioning father's babysitting skills.

Reddit comments about parents volunteering their daughter as a babysitter without asking her first.

Text exchange about a daughter refusing to babysit after parents volunteer her without asking.

Reddit discussion on babysitting refusal, with advice and plans to move out shared in comments.

Reddit comments discuss moving out, with advice and plans about living arrangements.

Reddit post discussing renting options and financial considerations.

Online discussion about babysitting and family planning decisions.

Comments discussing pressure on daughter to babysit without being asked.

Reddit post about a daughter refusing babysitting after parents volunteer her without consent; discussing rates and fairness.

Reddit thread about parental conflicts over babysitting duties, user responses displayed.

Text discussion on unexpected babysitting schedule, addressing refusal by the daughter.

Reddit conversation praising the daughter's refusal to babysit without being asked first.

Text response about refusing babysitting due to parents volunteering daughter without asking.

Later, the woman shared an update detailing how things have been going since she took some advice from readers

Father and daughter in a tense discussion about being a babysitter, highlighting parental conflict and boundaries.

Image credits: VittorioGravino / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

Text screenshot about parents volunteering their daughter as a babysitter without asking her first, and her refusal.

Text rejecting babysitting offer, emphasizing the importance of education and a current job over babysitting for less pay.

Text from a daughter refusing to be a babysitter, detailing her strategy to be unavailable.

Text excerpt expressing refusal to babysit despite persistent requests, highlighting personal boundaries.

Text expressing a backup plan after parents volunteer daughter as babysitter without asking her first.

Text conversation discussing family living arrangements and concerns about moving out.

Text about family dynamics and relocation decisions related to parents and aunts.

Teen girl hugging mother, eyes closed, highlighting babysitter volunteering tension.

Image credits: halfpoint / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

Text about a mother discussing the daughter's refusal to babysit without asking.

Text about family dynamics, emphasizing parental influence and the daughter's perspective.

Text about a father quitting his job, relying on mom's income.

Text response about refusing to babysit after parents volunteered daughter.

Text discussing questions and updates on an account, related to parents volunteering a daughter as a babysitter.

Text exchange highlighting family tension over a babysitting disagreement.

Image credits: thats_nice_idc

Again, readers called out the woman’s family members, and she replied to a few comments

Text exchange discussing daughter refusing babysitting after parents volunteer her.

Reddit comment supporting a daughter's refusal to be volunteered as a babysitter by parents.

Online comment discussing a family's toxic behavior and unfair expectations.

Reddit comments discussing a situation where parents volunteer their daughter as a babysitter, without her consent.

Text message about supporting mom's independence and ignoring negativity.

Finally, the author shared another update revealing some changes that are coming to her family soon

Parents discussing babysitting arrangement with a counselor in an office setting.

Image credits: Media_photos / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

Text about parents pressuring daughter to babysit, leading to family therapy sessions and ongoing conflict.

Text image about a conflict involving a sister-in-law and a therapy session.

Text discussing issues experienced by a sister-in-law at her job, related to racial discrimination.

Text describing a situation about a niece bothering someone at work, mentioning issues with a sister-in-law.

Friends in costume at a Halloween party, laughing and holding drinks, with a decorated table in the foreground.

Image credits: armmypicca / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text recounting Halloween plans; relates to parents volunteering daughter as a babysitter.

Text discusses guilt-tripping a sibling into babysitting by implying lack of love for not spending Halloween with nieces and nephews.

Text message expressing a child's feelings after being refused babysitting without consent.

Text message expressing disappointment about babysitting on Halloween.

Text questioning love and commitment, related to volunteering without consent, formatted in a conversation style.

Text discussing mental health challenges and class schedule changes.

Text about managing work hours and applying for EBT, highlighting challenges and hopes of buying suitable food again.

Text announcing potential pregnancy news.

Text passage discussing entitled parents, mentioning frequent updates and stories.

Image credits: thats_nice_idc

Image credits: Polina Kuzovkova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

There are pros and cons to using family members for childcare

Being a parent comes with countless responsibilities. Not only do you have to make sure your children are safe, fed, clothed and overall taken care of, you also have to show them unconditional love and provide emotional support 24/7. 

Having kids is never an easy job. But most moms and dads know what they’re signing up for and welcome all of the challenges because they just love their kiddos so much.

If you’re an aunt or uncle, however, you didn’t really have any say in those children being brought into the world. Sure, you probably love them very much, and you are likely happy to see them whenever you can. But you might not be thrilled about being a babysitter, especially if you are expected to watch the kids without being asked.

Using family members for childcare might seem like a no-brainer for many parents. If they live nearby and already know your kids and your home, it might be the most convenient option. But according to Care.com, there are some pros and cons to consider before turning the fun aunt into the cranky babysitter.

First, let’s look at the potential positives. You already trust this person, and you already have a strong relationship. Plus, they are probably familiar with your parenting style, so you might not have to worry about them enforcing your rules. And you may even save some money if they refuse to accept payment or will only take a small fee.

Image credits: Igal Ness / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

It’s important to compensate babysitters fairly, even if they happen to be related to you

But there are some risks that parents need to keep in mind as well. Many of us don’t actually see eye to eye with our relatives on every topic, so you might hear pushback on some of your parenting techniques. Especially if you’re asking someone from an older generation to watch the kids, they might have different views on how exactly parents should raise children.

It can also be harder to enforce boundaries when you’re dealing with a relative whose feelings you want to protect. If conflicts arise, issues from the past might resurface, which can damage relationships. And if the parents know that their family member is aging or has limited free time, they might feel guilty about asking for their babysitting services.

Then, of course, there’s the issue of payment. Not everyone agrees on whether or not family members should be compensated for babysitting. On one hand, they might be happy to spend time with the children in their family and build a relationship with them. On the other hand, however, if it’s a huge time commitment or preventing them from working more hours at their actual job, it might justify earning a paycheck.

According to Scary Mommy, it’s polite for parents to at least offer up payment, and if their family member declines, that’s okay too. But if the babysitter is incurring costs by watching the kids or commuting, does childcare for a living or has declined another opportunity to take care of the kids, it’s a good idea to compensate them. 

And if they won’t accept cash, you might be able to gift them a day at a spa, a gift card to their favorite restaurant, or anything else that says “Thank you.” 

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas. How would you have responded if you were in this woman’s shoes? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar drama right here!

Readers weighed in with their thoughts, and the author chimed in one last time

Text exchange discussing parents volunteering their daughter as a babysitter without her consent.

Reddit discussion on parents volunteering daughter as babysitter, two users sharing critical opinions.

Text screenshot discussing financial advice and family responsibilities related to babysitting.

Reddit comment discussing parents volunteering their daughter as a babysitter without her consent.

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