Man Keeps Asking If He Can Date Others After Wife Dies, She Gives Him Permission By Divorcing Him
Losing your loved one is one of the most painful things to experience – whether it’s sudden or known. It seems like your life is falling apart and you will be alone for the rest of your life. However, it’s no surprise that even after the most heartbreaking experience, people move on and step back into the world and start dating.
And while it’s totally normal to want to move on after the passing of your partner, it’s also important to be empathetic and not act like this Reddit user’s husband. This woman shared that she has stage 3 cancer and she recently decided to divorce her husband after he kept asking for her blessing to move on if she passes away.
More info: Reddit
Knowing that your partner may pass away in a few years is heartbreaking and, in most cases, it’s probably even impossible to think about moving on
Image credits: Manuel Meurisse (not the actual photo)
Woman shares that she has a good marriage, however she has cancer and there’s a decent chance she may pass away within 5 years
Image credits: Kinga Howard (not the actual photo)
However, the thing is that her husband keeps asking for her blessing to move on if she passes away, which made her think he’s just fed up with having a sick wife
Image credits: Drew Hays (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ThrowRA-Boss9500
Finally, the woman decided that she had enough and asked for a divorce so her husband doesn’t need to wait for her to pass away to move on if he doesn’t want her
Recently, one Reddit user shared her story seeking to hear community members’ opinions on if she was being too sensitive and making a mistake by divorcing her husband for asking if he can move on if she passes away when she has cancer. The post received a lot of attention collecting over 18K upvotes and almost 6K comments.
The original poster (OP) started her story by explaining that she and her husband have a good marriage, however she got cancer and there’s a chance she will pass away within 5 years. The main issue is that her husband keeps constantly asking if she wants him to move on when she passes away – “it doesn’t exactly lift up my mood,” OP pointed out.
She shared that she understood that her husband is just tired of having a sick wife so she asked for a divorce so he doesn’t have to wait till she passes away to move on. However, the news wasn’t taken well by the husband and his family – they think that the cancer took away her mental faculties and she’s lost her mind.
Community members felt for the woman and shared their support. “I worked in an ICU and I’ve seen devoted partners, the last thing they are thinking of is another person,” one user wrote. “NTA. I am betting he already IS SEEING someone NOW, hence asking this question over and over again. That way, he can spin it that you agreed with the affair,” another pointed out.
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
Let’s talk a little bit about dating after losing your partner. I am pretty sure most people can’t even think about losing their loved one and moving on, but as painful as it may be, it’s also important to deal with grief.
The Sun reports that 33% of grieving Brits avoid talking about a loved one after they pass away because they believe it will make other people uncomfortable, based on research from the Marie Curie charity. Furthermore, 77% of respondents report feeling under pressure to stop their public grief after a particular period of time.
However, it’s important to not forget that suppressing our emotions and stifling our grief might keep us from properly processing them, which can lead to other issues including social isolation, migraines, and insomnia.
Now, Legal and General pointed out that while there is not one standard for how grieving and dating should proceed, there are a few things you might want to think about before looking for your first partner after losing your spouse. First of all – your mood. Dating requires energy, thus you will want to feel like yourself when meeting someone new.
Another thing to consider is your objectives. What makes the thought of dating once again appealing to you? Are you seeking company or just something to take your mind off of your suffering? And finally – other people’s views. While there may be different opinions, however, hearing your trusted people’s suggestions may help to determine whether you are ready.
But what do you think about this story? Was the woman being too dramatic or she was doing the right thing? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Redditors assured the woman that she was making the right decision by leaving her husband
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Pandas, please have this conversation whilst it is still hypothetical. I've told my husband he can start dating 18 months after I die, but if he tries it at 17 months, three weeks, then I'm coming back to haunt him. Randomly, he'll find things move between 4cm and 3m to the left.
I've told my partner 1 year. Any sooner and my ghost will hide remotes.
Load More Replies...
Don't kid yourself... he's already cheating. Stage 3 is nootttt a death sentence.
That's for damn sure! I was diagnosed with stage 3 uterine cancer nine years ago. Like the Elton John song says, 🎶"I'm still standing!" 🎶
Load More Replies...
My husband passed away from cancer 5 yrs ago he told me the week before he died that he wanted me to grieve for a year and then move on. I haven't moved on yet. I didn't believe he would die if he is the one asking about moving on chances are he has already moved on I would move on myself if i was you find someone who will be there for you instead of worrying about his next relationship
Sounds like hubs already has #2 wife picked out and *may* be sleeping with her. Good for you for divorcing him!
Dump the husband and dump his family! How thoroughly sad to have to deal with that while fighting cancer.
she shouldn't get exhausted but supported by her husband,so the divorce will give her energy for her fight. But still I wonder, did they communicate it? What was her answer to his question first Did she explain,how it made her feel or ask him why he keep going on asking, what he feels about?
The cancer could take her sooner or she could live many more years than expected. I hope this lady finds a new partner (If she wishes) who will love her beautifully or that just that she throughly enjoys every single day without her (ex) husband ❤️
I can't imagine any partner asking that question, ESPECIALLY since she's not on death's door! I survived stage 3 cancer, and it has been 7 years in remission. IF she was in hospice, then would he her choice to tell him he should move on. Not his, particularly while she is still alive with the possibility of surviving!
Sounds rather like the in laws or husband want that inheritance, if that‘s the first thought they spring to
I mean, I guess I am in the minority here but it seems like a valid question. Are you or are you not OK with him moving on? Tell him and go from there. Don't just get pissy and divorce him because he asked. I've had this conversation with my wife, even though neither of us is sick or has any reason to believe that we will be gone any time soon. Maybe it is just something that couples should talk about before it is a reality. I feel like most people should agree that it is fine to move on if something bad happens. If I die suddenly, I certainly don't want my wife to never have another relationship until the day she dies. I mean, give me a year or two for morning, but not forever. Do what makes you happy. What do I care? I'll be gone. She feels the same as I do.
It is a valid question. But constantly bringing it up- again three times in the past ONE MONTH just says "I'm expecting you to die."
Load More Replies...
this is not a question to ask a seriously ill person. she has to deal with other things than her husband wanting to move on. he has to support her and not to worry about what happens after her death. it will unfortunately come soon enough, i been there and it will be enough time he'll spend grieving and not thinking about shagging other women. it took me 7 years to overcome grief and the loss of my SO before i even thought about moving on. what an a**hole.
Has this husband already got someone lined to( move on ) with or has he already started an affair and just wanted wife's approval
He asked and she didn't answer so he asked again. Sounds simple enough.
He was weirdly persistent about this, so there was probably more to it. But otherwise: What´s the deal with asking a dying partner for permission to move on? or a dying person forbidding their partner to date again? Like, you will be dead anyway, what are you gonna do? Become a ghost? laughable.
Pandas, please have this conversation whilst it is still hypothetical. I've told my husband he can start dating 18 months after I die, but if he tries it at 17 months, three weeks, then I'm coming back to haunt him. Randomly, he'll find things move between 4cm and 3m to the left.
I've told my partner 1 year. Any sooner and my ghost will hide remotes.
Load More Replies... Don't kid yourself... he's already cheating. Stage 3 is nootttt a death sentence.
That's for damn sure! I was diagnosed with stage 3 uterine cancer nine years ago. Like the Elton John song says, 🎶"I'm still standing!" 🎶
Load More Replies... My husband passed away from cancer 5 yrs ago he told me the week before he died that he wanted me to grieve for a year and then move on. I haven't moved on yet. I didn't believe he would die if he is the one asking about moving on chances are he has already moved on I would move on myself if i was you find someone who will be there for you instead of worrying about his next relationship
Sounds like hubs already has #2 wife picked out and *may* be sleeping with her. Good for you for divorcing him!
Dump the husband and dump his family! How thoroughly sad to have to deal with that while fighting cancer.
she shouldn't get exhausted but supported by her husband,so the divorce will give her energy for her fight. But still I wonder, did they communicate it? What was her answer to his question first Did she explain,how it made her feel or ask him why he keep going on asking, what he feels about?
The cancer could take her sooner or she could live many more years than expected. I hope this lady finds a new partner (If she wishes) who will love her beautifully or that just that she throughly enjoys every single day without her (ex) husband ❤️
I can't imagine any partner asking that question, ESPECIALLY since she's not on death's door! I survived stage 3 cancer, and it has been 7 years in remission. IF she was in hospice, then would he her choice to tell him he should move on. Not his, particularly while she is still alive with the possibility of surviving!
Sounds rather like the in laws or husband want that inheritance, if that‘s the first thought they spring to
I mean, I guess I am in the minority here but it seems like a valid question. Are you or are you not OK with him moving on? Tell him and go from there. Don't just get pissy and divorce him because he asked. I've had this conversation with my wife, even though neither of us is sick or has any reason to believe that we will be gone any time soon. Maybe it is just something that couples should talk about before it is a reality. I feel like most people should agree that it is fine to move on if something bad happens. If I die suddenly, I certainly don't want my wife to never have another relationship until the day she dies. I mean, give me a year or two for morning, but not forever. Do what makes you happy. What do I care? I'll be gone. She feels the same as I do.
It is a valid question. But constantly bringing it up- again three times in the past ONE MONTH just says "I'm expecting you to die."
Load More Replies... this is not a question to ask a seriously ill person. she has to deal with other things than her husband wanting to move on. he has to support her and not to worry about what happens after her death. it will unfortunately come soon enough, i been there and it will be enough time he'll spend grieving and not thinking about shagging other women. it took me 7 years to overcome grief and the loss of my SO before i even thought about moving on. what an a**hole.
Has this husband already got someone lined to( move on ) with or has he already started an affair and just wanted wife's approval
He asked and she didn't answer so he asked again. Sounds simple enough.
He was weirdly persistent about this, so there was probably more to it. But otherwise: What´s the deal with asking a dying partner for permission to move on? or a dying person forbidding their partner to date again? Like, you will be dead anyway, what are you gonna do? Become a ghost? laughable.
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