Many people have skeletons in their closets. To put that into perspective, researchers say that around 97% of people have secrets about infidelity, illegal behavior, and unwanted pregnancies.
Sometimes, these matters remain undisclosed until the person’s death. However, no secret remains hidden forever, especially if the topic comes up in online forums where people can hide behind anonymity.
A Reddit user asked a loaded question: “What disturbing fact came to light about a family member after they passed away?” The subreddit was flooded with answers, ranging from hidden wealth to illegitimate children and fabricated identities.
Scroll through and be amazed (or shocked) at the stuff people kept concealed until the end.
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After my baby brother died, as Big Bro, I seized every piece of technology he had. Mom wanted his phone so I sanitized the f**k out of it. After I broke into his laptop and started cleaning it up and organizing it I found several documents on there and found that he posted to several sites talking about how lonely and depressed he was.
He talked about how mom's new husband had made his life hell and how it was f****d up that she repeatedly let him come back into her life after causing a lot of family drama. He also talked about how close he and I were and how he hoped to make me proud one day. (I was always proud of him.)
He talked a lot about my daughter, his niece and how I was being the daddy she deserved and how proud he was of me. He wished that he and I had a dad like me when we were growing up. Instead he had me and I did what I could. I was only 8 years older and a child raising a child. He missed dad a lot because he had started to finally change after years of abuse...but then up and died.
He also talked of all the times he thought about s***ide. How he came close to doing it but never did follow through.
I miss my brother so much.
That my godfather was abusive to his wife and had tried to strangle her once. We didn’t find this out until years after he died, until his daughter finally snapped after hearing for the hundredth time what a great guy he was.
My mother's 2nd husband was most charming narcissist I had the misfortune to know & be abused by. Eventually everyone realized and/or admitted what a monster he REALLY was, but by that time, it was too late. The abuse had happened & my life was changed and ruined forever. The ones who had known & spoke up were ruthlessly silenced, either personally or professionally. He was my mom's boss, and several former coworkers later asked her how & why she'd marry a man who was very vocal about how much he disliked me, even before they were together.
That my uncle passed from AIDS and not cancer like he said. Turned out he had been sick for a really long time. Gutted he never felt like he could share with us and went through it alone..
I think they mean he had to suffer with the diagnosis alone, not the illness. I also have to wonder when this was - in the 80s and into the 90s there was a huge stigma around AIDS. Only homosexuals had it etc. and homophobia was rampant. Maybe their uncle was too ashamed and afraid to share what they had. It is sad.
Load More Replies...It was far too common in the eighties for family members to make up a cause of death that didn't reveal their sons AIDS diagnosis. It was heartbreaking and slowed the public outcry for a proper treatment.
My grandfather always kept the door of his home office locked. When he died in 1987, my grandmother just left the door closed and locked and eventually misplaced the key altogether. When my grandmother moved into assisted living last year, my mom and I cleaned out her house. I live closest so it was on me to wait for the locksmith to come and open the office door. The room was like a time capsule, complete with Winston cigarettes still on the desk, with butts in the ashtray and bills and a newspaper from 1987 stacked neatly. And the office was filled with photographs. My grandfather was a photographer so this was no surprise. Mostly they were from his job, and some were of the family, the house, vacations, etc. But then I found a locked file cabinet drawer and got curious/suspicious. Fully expecting to find naked pictures of my grandma (but not wanting to be the one who accidentally sold a cabinet full of cash or something), I popped the lock on the drawer with a letter opener. It was full of pictures of naked ladies who were NOT my grandmother. Probably a dozen different women. Some of them were obviously taken inside my grandparents' house. Most looked to be from the '50s and '60s, just judging from the hairstyles and shoes. These were not professional boudoir shots, either. It was straight up nasty p**n. I threw all the pictures away and never told anyone in my family about it.
"These were not professional boudoir shots, either." But they may have been straight up nasty professional p**n. Grandpa was a professional photographer and maybe with a side hustle.
Shortly after my great Uncle died, who had no wife or children, my mother found some of his military records dating back from WW2. Turns out he was captured by Japanese and sent to a POW camp and worked on the Burma-Thai railway.
That poor guy must have seen atrocious sights. The Japanese didn't honour the Geneva convention and treated their POW's as POW's should be treated. They worked them to death, killed them for the littlest of things and generally despised POW's. My grandfather was captured and subsequently beheaded by the Japanse. My father, who was 14 years old, then went on a bit of a killing spree, killing 5 Japanse in retaliation. He never regretted it. He then became a medic in the Korean War and was received 4 decorations. His most treasured one was the Purple Heart.
Agreed that being a medic was brave, but the killing spree of 5 people didn't read that way to me. It may have been justified to his family but those 5 people had families too.
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Disturbing only because it was sad. Evidence that a beloved uncle was a closeted gay, discovered while clearing out his home after his funeral. This was in the 80's, so at no point in his life would coming out have been easy.
It was common during the AIDS crisis (not saying uncle died of this) for friends to mobilise immediately after a death and strip the deceased's house of anything linking them to being gay. So their family wouldn't come in and be shocked by what they found. It's so sad that these people had to hide who they were. In one of the modern art museums, there's a piece that tells the opposite story. It's a box fan all on its own. When the artist's boyfriend died, his family came round and took everything from the apartment- including sentimental things like photos- literally everything except this fan. So the artist took the fan as his only physical momento of his loved one.
I am sad for those that never got to live their truth and be accepted for who they are. Progress has been slow and painful for so many - but its there. I was so moved yesterday to see two older men, I'd estimate in their 60s, walking past my house together hand in hand under a rainbow umbrella yesterday and I took a took a moment to appreciate progress :Heart:
And some people wondered why we were so angry and in their faces about their open hate. ACT-UP, FIGHT BACK!
My mom had a cousin in the 80s who was gay and "in the closet". He went on to marry a woman, have a couple kids, but he couldn't live that life and committed sūicide 😞 obviously I never met him but that still makes me really sad
Freddie Mercury's death did more to destigmatize homosexuality and AIDS than anything else
A nephew died of AIDS, We all knew he was gay though hr tried to hide it. Talking to one of his brothers, he asked if I hated him for being gay I said I did care, I didn't like him because he was a huge jerk!
That my great-grandfather was an avowed racist, who had helped start a branch of the KKK in our area. As it turned out, most of his kids -grandparents of my generation -knew about it, but it came as a huge shock to us great-grandkids. I grew up next door to him, and was constantly over there. He was a great guy, always had time to play with us kids, let us drive his tractors and four-wheelers around his yard, gave out fifty dollars cash on birthdays, and made it to every family event, where he talked to everybody -he never left any of us kids out.
I grew up thinking he was a hero -he'd fought in WWII -and a great guy. Then, at eleven years old, after his funeral, I find out he was horribly racist -if he saw a black person in a store, he'd walk out, and find somewhere different to shop. He'd tried getting town ordinances passed so that blacks couldn't live in our little town. Eventually, when all of his other efforts hadn't stopped anything, in the early eighties, he'd started a local KKK group.
It rocked my world. Couldn't believe that one of the nicest, sweetest guys I'd ever known was that sort of person. I still struggle with that sometimes.
Good example of how complicated people are. There are many people with horrible views who can be lovely day to day.
My father beat up on us kids and abused animals. But his public persona was so glowing, hundreds packed the little church after he died. I refused to go to the funeral. Screw him.
Load More Replies...I think that mask of sweetness would have quickly fallen away if the OP had started dating a black person.
With this person, yes. Can’t say for the rest of their family.
Load More Replies...Remember that you had no hand in his bad actions! I am glad he treated you kids well, at least.
There are still soo many closeted KKK cowards in this country. None of them are good people. Especially for terrorizing communities of color. The only way to move past racism is for them to die off. Truly.
Good Lord, how disgusting. I know that years ago that was the so called normal here in the south but it is still sickening. This person got a major shock after the great grandpa died. All of my grandparents were gone before I was born but if there was somebody I grew up being that close to I would be ashamed of them for being that racist and for starting a Klan, some of those people are down right crazy as hell.
My grandparents, especially my grampa, was an outgoing, extroverted, life of the party type. He spoiled me & my siblings, and was always willing to lend a hand. He taught me about respect, responsibility, and hard work. My Nana was very religious & donated to all sorts of causes. As I got older, I realized just how badly racist they both were, which was heartbreaking because I learned so much good from them. Thankfully, the racism never took root.
This is the thing about racism. The people who pursue that line of thinking can be nice, good people within their own group, but are like split personalities when race comes online. I always wonder if given the right education and if they talked it all out with others, would they not realize how it does not make sense? My extended family is from the south in Texas and I was raised mostly in the north which made me realize how weird but entrenched thinking was/is in the American south.
My paternal grandmother - we called her Nannie - gave birth to baby girls in unwed mother's homes three times before she married my grandfather. We thought that it had only happened once. That one got adopted out to a couple in Australia (we are all from New Zealand), and I went to visit her when I was a kid and went to her wedding. But once Nannie died my aunt tracked down a second one, who lived about two hours away from us! When I met her it was like seeing a ghost. She looked just like Nannie, and acted just like her as well, even though they had never met. I remember she walked ahead to open the gate for the car and turned around to lean against it, and my mum gasped and whispered "that's Barbara!" to my dad.
The saddest thing is that we have since found out that there was a third, another girl, but we can't find her. My aunt found a nurse that remembered Nannie and swears up and down that she was there to have a third child. Unfortunately the building burned down not long after the birth and the records were lost. So we will never find her.
I've also since learned that my dad is not my grandfather's child. Nannie was pregnant when she met him. This is an open secret in the family - we don't talk about it, especially not to dad, but we all know.
Apparently Nannie had quite a sad life before she married and there is a story about a man that was the great love of her life but she couldn't be with for some reason. I don't know that story fully though, I only heard it mentioned once when my mum was drunk and feeling chatty.
This is why birth control is so important. Birth control wasn't available when Nannie was a young woman, especially in the rural areas where she lived. Had she had access to it, her life might have turned out very differently.
Nannie hated women the whole time I knew her. She didn't like her female grandchildren and had no female friends. She was openly sexist against women, despite being one. I wonder if girl children reminded her of her babies that she had to give up and that was why she didn't like us.
Or women reminded her of the nuns and nurses who snatched her babies away in the unwed mothers home
Or something as simple as representing sexual freedom she didn't couldn't have, or safety. I mean, not all conception was consensual. You just don't know.
Load More Replies...There's a great series of books set in New Zealand called Promises to Keep by Shayne Parkinson. One of them details how a pregnant teenager was treated in an "unwed mother's home". Very sad. But the series is awesome. I think it's up to 7 or 8 books now.
I dont know whether its a big thing in NZ but DNA testing through genealogy sites...you might find the thrid child
Yes, but in those days it consisted of attempting The Times crossword whilst drinking a cup of Horlicks. Very difficult.
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My great-grandmother tried to get custody of me, claiming my mom had abandoned me.
When my mom divorced my biological father, to get away from him (he was very manipulative and abusive), she packed up everything and moved up to Georgia.
For nearly a year, I stayed with my great-grandparents while my mom went out to find a place to live, find a job, and also she met a man who would become my adoptive father, and give me his last name.
My great-grandmother was a bit manipulative and controlling herself. She was also delusional. She believed that my mom had abandoned me, and set about trying to get custody of me. She tried to rope my grandmother into it, but she wouldn't have any of it. She worked for an attorney, and she said, "Prove it." Great-grandma couldn't.
My mom told me she'd visit weekly, and once she got settled in, she came and got me.
There's likely several generations of relatively young mothers in here, if the great-grandparent was trying to get custody?
Probably so. Decades ago it was very common for people to get married and have children younger than most do now. Even if each mother was 20 when she had a child, the great-grandmother may have been in her 60's (so she was a mother at 20, a grandmother at 40, and a great-grandmother at 60).
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In 2009 I got a Facebook message from a guy saying essentially : hi, I think we have the same dad.
My dad died in 2004.
I knew he had been married way before he met my mom but none of us knew he had a son that he abandoned. When the baby was 6 months old he up and left to join the army, never seeing his son again.
So I have a half brother who is about 20 years older than me
Since I was the first to find out. I was tasked with telling my mother. I called her up and she basically said : "meh, your dad was bound to have some more skeletons in the closet that we didn't yet know about"
The whole thing makes me incredibly sad when I think about it. Sad for this guy that didn't have a dad (he had been looking for him on and off since he was 17). But also sad for my dad that he carried this secret with him for so long, and died without ever having told anyone. It must have haunted him.
Maybe it didnt haunt him. Maybe he put it aside in his mind, lived in the moment, and rarely thought about it. A lot of people who do bad things survive this way.
Circumstances? Alienating other parent? Deep depression and self-destructive thoughts? Battling addiction and overcoming it later, but having lost contact with the child? The CSS intervening because of something and the situation continuing for some time, or only happening after the separation and the parent with no custody never hearing about it, or having no means to support a child? Becoming a parent too young, and the grandparents of the child deciding to cut off the other (not a blood relative to them) parent? Or in this case, severe combat-related trauma that ruined the person emotionally for a long time, and once he had finally recovered, the other parent no longer was willing to accommodate his meeting rights, or had even filed for a restraining order or just cut contact?
Load More Replies...I wouldn't be surprised if I have any unknown half siblings out there. My dad lived a rough life and he always said I was his favorite daughter that he knew of 😉🤣
My dad, brother and grandmother died in a car accident, turns out that was my dad's idea of s**cide and he took them with him because he thought he was doing us a favor as my 3 year old brother had some form of retardation and my grandma was a horrible person.
Please, PLEASE don't use the "R" word in any context. This hits home for us as we have a child with special needs in our family and that word has massively negative connotations. It's an insult in the disabled community, at least the one we belong to. So, 'special needs', 'developmentally delayed', 'disabled', or use the actual diagnosis, just not that word, OK? Thank you from a part of the SN community.
Holy s**t my mouth dropped open! How horrible for the rest of the family.
I'd prefer to see the more modern terms developmental disability, cognitive/intellectual disability. Or even the autism spectrum, which is highly hereditary and might have led to the additional issues with the parent and the grandparent. if the people around them didn't understand or weren't able to handle the matter, it might have led to deep depression, disturbed behaviors, addiction, dysfunctional relationships, violence and so on. No excuse for any kind of terrible deeds, but could explain the "why" of the generational tragedy. It sadly is what still happens way too often. I've seen, or heard things from my in-law family, too. Mine just weren't communicating and couldn't handle pressures, snapping at everyone. I really hope that we've been able to break the cycle.
but the murder suicide isn't shocking? Is the word more important?
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Found divorce papers for grandmother and found out that my grandfather was divorcing her because she abused him. She was given custody of my mom instead of him. I wonder how different she would have been if he had custody. She is a very easily manipulated and timid person. I wonder if grandma was abusive to her as well.
It's a sad fact that courts often are biased towards favoring the mother, even today. A few decades ago, even more do. It's the exact opposite of the usual practice in, let's say, Iran that follows the religious law, but also in other, secular countries, especially if the father has the better income, can afford lawyers, or is skillfully manipulating the authorities into believing all kinds of lies. Then again, nothing says that women (assigned females) can't do that, too - like this case proves, if it's true. It likely is. (And as a side note, also same-sex parent divorces and custody battles can get truly ugly. No-one's immune to being a douche.)
Well this is not so much disturbing as it is awesome,
my grandfather kept a big safe in the basement of his house and about 6 months after his death we bought a diamond blade saw to get it open as we had no idea where the key was. In short there was £250000 in there that our whole family didn't know existed nor where it came from. I mean, I guess it's possible that he saved his wages over a long period of time to eventually have that amount. Possible, but extremely unlikely as he was a builder and not particularly wealthy. We all got a cut.
A family member was a high ranking police officer. A newspaper discovered that he had the modern equivalent of $800,000 he couldn't account for in a bank in Mexico.
"We all got a cut," is English slang meaning we all shared and received a portion.
It says, "Possible, but extremely unlikely as he was a builder and not particularly wealthy. We all got a cut."
Load More Replies...my great great grandpa was supposedly in the mafia. he had five diamond-and-gold rings stored at his house. my grandparents and great grandparents distributed them. allegedly, they were used as pay for the grocery store he ran during the great depression.
My grandpa suppressed my uncle's passion for music. Not only did he suppress the passion, but my uncle is a very gifted guy regarding music. He has an absolute pitch. The occurence of this skill is 1 in 10.000.
I'm not really surprised, that my uncle is in a miserable state, today.
That my dad had been recording and listening to all our phone calls. For years. We found boxes of cassette tapes he had hidden in his shop after he died.
Depending on whether he was recording phonecalls between you and him this is either really touching or really really creepy.
No, it’s just creepy. There was no consent from the other party
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So far we've found four of my grandfathers long lost children from his affairs, and counting.
Before birth control meds, it was not uncommon for men to have babies near and far. I remember hearing some old guys (old to me at the time) bragging about having a baby on the north side, one on the south side, another on the west side, and yet one more on the east side. It was a like a badge of honor. Then came the courts and single women being able to get child support. Then birth control. Tables totally turned.
A song: "Johnny be fair": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py99y2bZyQg *It's only 1:49 long, but it's the same story in a nutshell.*
That my mom had given birth to twin boys while in college, long before meeting my dad. The father was a professor in her department. She went away for 9 mos. without telling her family, saying she was taking a class for her major. She was not keeping in touch, however, and her family grew increasingly suspicious. Eventually, her sister came up unannounced. She knocked, and my mom answered, obviously pregnant. The sister went back and let the family know what she had seen. My mom had the babies, put them up for adoption, and returned home to an icy, silent reception. The reason for her absence was never spoken of. I didn't find out until many years after her death.
Yup, she could have just said, "Yes, she's good, she's just busy studying".
Load More Replies... After my mom passed away, I went through all of her junk in boxes. Came across one big hat box that contained lots of documents and newspaper clippings from the early 1900's up until the 70's.
Nearly every piece of paper in that box completely was the opposite of what we were taught as kids about the family. My dad was this upstanding preacher who had only been married once. Wrong! He was married 4 times and had lots of kids from his other marriages. My uncle who ended up marrying 13 women and having untold numbers of kids, was gay when he was a teenager, My grandfather didn't approve and one day shot his lover right in front of him and made him bury the body in the woods. My grandmother made a notation on a side note that that was the day her baby had died. Talking about my uncle. He eventually was so tormented by his miserable life and drinking, that he k*lled himself in 1980 at 47 years old. Even my dad and uncles military histories were all phony. What was most amazing was our name wasn't even our last name. My grandfather and his brothers got in trouble with the law in the early 20's and changed all their names. Another big shocker was one of my uncles was a bigtime racist back in the 60's. My grandmother kept a ledger of all the money she would send to all of his kids who were born by different mothers. Most of the kids were black. She even had pictures of some of them and they looked just like my uncle as a kid except darker skin.
There was newspaper clippings about m**ders and assasinations and all kinds of nasty stuff the family was involved in.
After going through all of it I was nearly in shock. Everything I knew about my family was a lie. I called up my last living aunt and asked her about a bunch of it. Her husband(my Uncle) was a straight laced military man who really didn't get along with most of his family. She said that from what he had told her over the years it all made sense. It even explained why he was given a different last name in the military after he had a background check for a security clearance. They always thought it was a mistake from the military that they couldn't get fixed. But it was the real last name of the family.
I asked her if she thought anyone in the family should know about this stuff?
She said "GOD NO!" Burn it and never speak of any of it to a soul ever again. She said that if any of it does come to light, I will be hated by the entire family for not keeping it hid. She said people like to live the lie's they make, not the reality of who they really are.
I still have it. Can't bring myself to burn it.
material for a novel? Sounds like good blackmail material if you ask me!
Load More Replies...How sick. But marrying 13 women?! And the father had four wives - at the same time, or consecutively? This begins to sound like the plot of some TV series going on for too many seasons. I wonder if this is true (reality sometimes gets way much stranger than fiction ever can conceive and still remain in any way credible) or not, and whether it was inside some small religious sect (breakaway Fundamentalist LDS groups come into mind, but also a few other possibilities). Also, someone does not "turn Gay" or stop being Gay. If the poor uncle was Gay as a teenager, being forced to suppress it didn't still turn him Straight. It likely is just a clumsy choice of wording there, but I felt the need to point this out.
Not quite the prompt, but I only found out a couple of years ago that my grandmother's sister hadn't just passed away at a young age, she had (in all probability- there are no official records but it is the most logical explanation for her disappearance at that particular time) been kidnapped by the Argentinean military junta and either tortured to death in prison, shot by firing squad into a mass grave, drugged and dropped from an airplane... the possibilities are horrifying.
I now much more clearly understand why my grandmother's family back in Argentina are so messed up.
Government atrocities are terrible. My maternal grandmother lost nearly all of her family in Stalin's purges, after her mother had remarried to a Communist man and they'd left the country in the early 30's for a better life (this was a time of depression also here, and the aftermath of the Finnish Civil War of 1918 was horrible for the former Reds, most of whom had just demanded decent wages and rights - though in this case, the new husband and my great-grandmother were both politically active, but too young to have been fighting in that war themselves to my knowledge). My grandmother was left behind in her own grandparents' care, as she was just 2 yrs. and would have suffered while traveling, as she also had health issues. The only one who had survived the purge and the Gulag was her brother, who in the 60's finally was able to write back, get a travel permit and tell the tale. My mother and uncle only were born because the youngest child had been left behind and lived.
When I was studying in the UK, it was frightening how many of my fellow students were advocating and campaigning for Communism. As an Eastern European, it was incomprehensible to me. They legit bought into this b******t that everyone is living happily in a community setting with all their needs catered for. I think my favourite was when they tried to convince me to join the university's Communist Youth Club by letting me know that they wanted Brezhnevian democratic communism.
Load More Replies...Nunca más! My third grade teacher was "desaparecida" for some months, she was kidnapped and had her baby while being held in La ESMA (one of the main detention centers in Capital Federal). Of course that I didn't learn about this when I was 9, but some years later. And a bit later, I also read the book (Nunca más). The survivor's reports make your skin crawl. I hate that there are still people denying that horrible part of our history.
About 20 years ago I had a boyfriend who got cancer and died within a year. As he got sicker I began to realize that all the stuff he had told me about his family was made up, and all of the truth came out afterwards.
He didn't have a twin brother who trained dolphins at SeaWorld, he had a regular upbringing in the USA and not Morocco, his parents were normal boring people from Michigan - not an actress and a professor from Paris. Even his exotic sounding first name was invented, he was actually named Steve.
Interestingly there was one thing that was true: his cousin who worked at NASA really did. I guess that was already interesting enough that he didn't have to make that up.
As to why he did this, it was never clear. He didn't lie about other stuff AFAIK. His real family was on the other side of the country and didn't want to visit while he was sick and didn't come to the funeral either. The whole thing was sad and strange.
Based on how they didn't even show at the funeral tells me enough to understand why he made it up.
Maybe because his family let him down and he felt he had a sad family life, he spices things up to feel like the family he would have wanted
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After my grandmother died, I learnt that the bar she owned when she was younger was more like a w***ehouse. Also, she was almost sent to prison for another reason.
I learnt so much this year that I now call this part of my family "the bloody news family".
from the OP on reddit: " Apparently she was suspected to have killed her own fœtus and tried to disappear it... By burning it."
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My grandfather, who we called Opa, was a carpenter his entire life; built half the houses in my hometown, and loved to give them away AT COST to young couples getting a start in life. when my grandmother passed, Opa began building his own coffin, and it was beautiful. he asked my mom to put in nice red satin upholstery, and when it was finished, he stood it up at his 90th birthday party and asked us all to pose with him in it.
we'd always known that he'd served in WWII, but like many men he never talked about it. we learned after his passing that he'd signed up when circumcision was still required, and he volunteered for the procedure so he could go fight. once enlisted, they put his carpentry skills to use building bridges, but for the most part he spent his time making coffins, to send boys home.
Probably for “hygiene” reasons. Here is something I found relating to it http://ww2f.com/threads/circumcision-the-operation-that-wins-the-war.7600/
Load More Replies...Wiki quote *No, circumcision was not needed to fight in World War II. The idea that Allied troops in the Middle East needed mass circumcisions to treat balanitis is a medical myth. Circumcision is a religious or cultural practice that is usually performed voluntarily. It can also be an option for cases of phimosis, chronic urinary tract infections, or other pathologies. In the United States, parents have routinely circumcised their sons since the 1940s, in part because doctors believed it promoted good hygiene and prevented disease. * Apparently though, it was strongly suggested if you wanted to join the marines.
Thanks for sparing me the trouble of googling it. This is an interesting, albeit somewhat disturbing piece of medical history.
Load More Replies...Reminds me of the gag about the guy who demanded to be castrated. Nobody could deter him. He woke up after the procedure and the guy in the next bed had his blankets raised up by a support frame too. "What are YOU in for?" he asked. "Circumcision" replied the second guy. "THAT was the word!!!!!"
Load More Replies...Circumcision became more routine/mandatory for two reasons; #1 Battle of Iwo Jima - the very fine volcanic ash gets in/around the foreskin and inflames the foreskin to the point urinating is painful. There is no hygiene in a foxhole. A lot of soldiers and marines had to be pulled off the front lines to get circumcised because of this and that means less men to fight. #2 The incidence of penile cancer is higher in uncircumcised men.
Religious circumcision always makes me laugh. "God made us in His image...but let's just cut this bit off because God didn't really know what he was doing there!"
Mutilating your child's body without their consent is good hygiene? God, humans are so stupid.
I could never understand why Female Genital Mutilation is regarded as horrific (which it certainly is) but Male Genital Mutilation is condoned.
Load More Replies...Maybe he only *thought* it was a requirement. Can you imagine if he realized his mistake after the fact? "You mean I lopped the top for NOTHING!?!?!?"
It's a common practice in Jewish families but that's not the best way to put it IMHO.
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Uncle died from auto-erotic asphyxiation. So it came out that he was into auto-erotic asphyxiation.
"The Ruling Class" (1972 film) starred Peter O'Toole.
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Not necessarily disturbing, but my grandfather knew he had cancer six months before he passed away. Even when his health declined rapidly the last two weeks, he never said anything about it. I kind of knew that was going on. He's to stubborn to let his family take care of him or be bedridden.
Yeah my grandmother who was not a nice lady told me about year before that she was positive she had cancer. She didnt do anything for a year. She died of breast cancer. After she died my mom and her aunt went thru her stuff and found she had a suspicious mammogram and they think the hospital didnt tell her. Im the only one that really knows the truth. She knew she had cancer so obviously they told her she just didnt do anything for about it. At least not till a year later.
I've had several family members & close acquaintances hide cancer until the last possible moment. It's devastating.
So similar to my father. My father passed away from cancer in 2017. His "diagnosis" was done in 2015 when his prostate cancer had already spread to his lungs and other places. In March 2023, I was going through a stack of family medical papers and found a record from 2007 where the doctor has clearly written "adenocarcinoma of the prostate" following tests and had suggested surgery. He pretended everything was fine for 9 years and that his cancer was a surprise. Not telling my mother. She'll beat herself up wondering why he didn't share it. She doesn't deserve that kind of mental suffering.
My great grandmother was most likely a lesbian and a cleptomaniac.
The most shocking to me was my grandfather who was all about the Marines. Everything was about the Marine Corps. I always thought that he was a long term Marine and had fought in WWII. Turns out he was in for less than a year and did maintenance on docked ships. My (gay) partner that was kicked out for being gay served a lot longer. My family makes fun of the fact that he (my partner) was ever in the Marines, but still act like my grandfather single handedly won the war. He was buried with full military honors.
She was a lesbian and a kleptomaniac because she stole all the girls?
My great-grandfather had another family that wasn't revealed until after he passed in his late 90s. He lived til I was in my mid-twenties and not once would I have ever suspected it. He was present at every family party, took me for haircuts once a month, I cut their lawn every week. It turned out my great-grandmother knew but hid it from everyone in the family. She actually knew his other kids and families. She told my dad while in Hospice. The real kicker was when doing a family tree on one of those sites, it kept suggesting a public family tree I did not recognize. Turns out it was his other family.
There are family tree sites now that are linked with DNA databases. People are swabbing a cheek and finding out they have alllllll kinds of relatives they didn't know about 🫢
I used to work in online memorials and was astonished how common this is - I don't think a month went by without two families posting memorials for the same person.
My great grandfather had another family that nobody knew about until decades after his death. It only came to light when my dad received a letter from some heir hunters asking him to confirm details concerning my great grandfather. His 'secret daughter' had passed away leaving no children and no will and my dad, as the closest living relative, inherited a tidy sum.
The husband of my great-grandmother's half-sister disappeared during WW2. So my dutiful (/s) went and gave his SIL a baby. My great-grandmother knew and cared for both her sister and the child. I guess they thought it more important that the family line doesn't die out. It's not like my great-grandfather tried to live a double life or anything. They treated the whole thing like a rudimental IVF kind of business.
For years we blamed my cousin's wife for ordering a hit on him because he was cheating on her (this is all within bounds for that side of the family, which is shady as f**k on a good day). My cousin was found with a headshot wound inflicted by his driver's firearm. Turns out he'd committed s**cide because he owed a lot of bad people money; we only found out because said bad people eventually came for his kids' money a few years later. S**t was f****d.
Well they were committed to something, don’t you think?!? 🤔
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Not necessarily disturbing, but surprising. My dad did one of those genealogy DNA things and found out that my grandfather was not actually his father. It appears that both my grandparents had multiple affairs and my father was the product of one. They stayed married to each other for more than 50 years though.
I agree on the open marriage point. Also, the Swingers subculture has been a thing at least since the 60s. Or then the grandfather was infertile, and thus, no protection was used in that particular parallel relationship, or the marriage was that of convenience for other reasons (it never says which gender, if even just limited to one, the grandfather's other partners had been). There could've been a hundred different reasons why this had happened / been allowed to happen. It might have been totally consensual on all sides. No way of knowing since all parties seem to be long gone, unless the dad had actually confronted his mother (or the father who raised him!) as a consequence of the test result. It neither says how the family discovered the multiple affairs in the first place, or if there's more than one (half-)sibling in the family beside the dad. Too little information.
My dad passed away a year ago from a heart attack, upon trying to set all his paperwork straight, I found out he had been spending around $600-1000 a month in slot machines at the hotel in the next town over(he was taking out money at the hotel ATM). Not sure how much of that he got back, if any. It had been going on for at least 2 years according to my uncle.
I never knew he had a gambling problem, didn't see him often enough to notice. :( He also was retired and didn't cash out that much from his retirement.
Just because someone plays slot machines doesn't mean they have a gambling problem. Of course, if he put up the mortgage to cover the bets, that may be a different story.
My grandfather in law (who has the same name as my father in law) had another secret family. He saw them every weekend when he was "golfing". Apparently he kept in touch with them for most of their lives until he had a stroke and couldn't. A year after he died, one of his daughters contacted my father in law thinking he was the same man. That's when we found out. Never told his mother the truth though, although we don't know how she wouldn't know.
I recently learned that ALS k*lled my great grand mother, 2 uncles, and my aunt and cousin are started to have symptoms in their legs. All from my dad's side of the family.
My grandmas had ALS and died from it. My biggest fear, especially since I have neurological issues, is that she had the hereditary kind. But she has been the only one to have it, so chances are very very slim it was.
It was only after my uncle was m**dered that we found out he was gay.
Because he'd been m**dered by his teenage Romanian boyfriend.
Long after he died, we discovered my father and mother "had" to get married because of my older sister; they just lied about the year they got married.
It's s****y only because my sister also "caught" outside the bonds of holy matrimony, and my mother treated her like absolute s**t over it.
You wouldn't believe the number of first children who were born 6-7 months after the wedding. I started digging into the birth and marriage records of my tight-lipped, super conservative, church going family and was completely stunned. It's been happening since the beginning of time. People just didn't talk about it.
I was born 5 months after my parent’s wedding. Good old catholic shotgun wedding. What’s even more scary is after I was born, my mother had two more children within 18 months.
Load More Replies...Nancy and Ronald Reagan's first child, Patty, was born seven months after their wedding. When Reagan's social conservative allies said to her mother "Oh, of course Patty was born prematurely, right?", Nancy would look them straight in the eye (with that look of hers) and reply "No, she wasn't." And then just stared right at them. One of the few things I liked about her.
My mom’s cousin greg died before i was born. they always said he died in a house fire and couldn’t get out in time. I didn’t find out until i was 18 and came across my mom’s old diary that i found out that Greg had actually set the fire himself. it was a s**cide.
my great grandma saved 13 million over her lifetime. It all went to my grampa. My grandma died. He remarried a nutjob. He got lymphoma and died five years after the diagnosis.
The day he died. His wife took their picture off the wall when they declared him dead.
After the funeral she got in his truck and we never saw her again...
Did she maybe inherit the money or not? (It almost looks like she didn't, if she didn't come back even for the will reading?) If the marriage had only lasted for a few years, the family could've had good grounds to contest the will if it left everything to the new wife, depending on the country though.
You don't have to be present at the will reading to inherit. A will reading is not even required in many jurisdictions. It's more a movie thing.
Load More Replies...Probably not the most disturbing but only after my maternal grandfather died did most of my family find out that he and my grandmother had been married over fifty years. According to my mom, they never celebrated an anniversary or talked about it much. Turns out it was a shotgun wedding necessitated by the fact that my eighteen year old grandmother was pregnant by my then college student grandfather. This was a big and conservative catholic family too.
Grandfather fled his home country for the us. He always said it was because he didn't want to fight in a war that was going on at the time. In reality, he beat someone important up in his home village and left him for dead (m**dered him with bare hands) and his family and everyone dismissed him as a ne'er-do-well and he came here to disappear/not shame them. His surname is rare - everyone with it is related to us - and when my uncle met someone with our name from the motherland and told them about Gramps, to uncle's surprise the guy didn't seem happy. And also grandpa wasn't happy that his son met and spoke with this person. He was embarrassed. He was like shamed out of his country and knew that no one from there would be happy to hear from him. The less we could know about the circumstances of him leaving, the better. He wasn't fleeing a war-torn country, he was hooking up with a married woman of some kind of stature locally and k*lled her hubs. He had to leave or be k*lled himself. By now though thankfully anyone who knows of the scandal is dead.
My grandfathers brother on his death bed told his entire family that during the Second World War he has an affair and a second family. This included an illegitimate daughter. Right before he passed he told them not to worry as she had been paid out of the will and any inheritance.
That my grandfather lied about everything.
My mom was getting a family tree together. She kept hitting blanks when adding him to the tree. They weren’t close due to him being an a*****e - so she asked her brother for help making sure she had all the info right.
Eventually came to light that he didn’t technically exist until he enlisted in the army at 17. He lied about his date of birth and his name. My great grandmother is listed as having one child in a census we found - but no name and everything relating to him is false.
He lived his entire life with a false name and false birthday. I want to know what happened in his teenage years that prompted that choice.
He wanted to join the army and was probably too young, once he joined the army he had a service number, to receive benefits after the war he would have to continue with that identity. My grandfather didn't even have a birth certificate, it would have been very easy to do back then.
That he was an actual horrible person. My dad rarely talked about when he was growing up. When he does, normally stories about my grandpa arise and he was an absolute a*****e. The final straw for me to say he was just a horrible person through and through was right after he died. Below is just a small list of the s**t he did that I know about.
- Cheated on my grandmother
- Remarried to a woman my father’s age.
- She has a kid a year younger than me. I have a step aunt who I’m older than, but more disturbingly, my father has a step sister a year younger than his youngest kid.
- M***ered the family cat and told no one for years. (Dad over heard him talking one day years later when he was bragging about it)
- Complained about how everyone was going to hell except him.
- Would leave my dad the car every week while he was out of town only if he drove him to one of the busiest airports in the country during rush hour and would beat him because the traffic sucked.
- Refused to have a funeral and wanted to be cremated with his ashes spread out in the field he was cheating on my grandmother with.
- Would pressure me into finding a girl and having kids for the sole purpose of passing down the family name. (Would be a complete a*s to my sister about this)
- Growing up, he though a good present to me was a literal stick. He found it in the yard and gave it to me as a present.
- Kicked my dad out of the house one day for making a smart a*s comment. (GP was bi***ing about mass being changed from Latin to English, dad commented that Jesus never spoke Latin, the people who k*lled him did though)
He died in September right before Irma hit our house. September was not a fun month in our household.
Sorry, I'm being horrible here, but did the grandfather really cheat on his wife, doing it with a field? Was his affair with a football field or a corn field, perhaps? It sure would explain the desire to be spread on and over that field even in death. /goes into the corner and shuts up/
Maybe the field where he wanted his ashes spread was the location of his affairs?
Load More Replies...What does 'his ashes spread out in the field he was cheating on my grandmother with' mean?
“Would leave my dad the car every week while he was out of town only if he drove him to one of the busiest airports in the country during rush hour “ - what does this sentence mean 😂😂 he left the dad in the car only if it was at an airport during rush hour when he was out of town? What? 🤭😂
My maternal grandmother was apparently married four times, and there's no father's name on my mum's birth certificate.
She seemed to have had an interesting life.
Apparently my great grandfather may have been a p*****ile. My mom told me this last year and she and her cousins had to be careful around him when they were growing up. He never did anything to my mom but her parents as well as her aunts and uncles suspected that somewhere down the line, he was being inappropriate with someone's child but I don't think mom ever knew who it was and she is no longer a live for me to ask.
Same in my family. My great-aunt would get drunk and tell people her dad M0l3$t3d her. She sober up and recant...over and over again. Over the years enough rumors have surfaced to make it all add up. He died before I was born, but the damage he did to his family has stretched through generations.
Sort of jumping the gun but found out wheb my Grandad dies, his daughter (my aunt) gets £0 from him. She has screwed her life up and is in huge debt and homeless (staying with us) and my saint of a mother is sorting it all out for her cause she is doing nothing to help herself. My grandads already helped her out a lot and it came to light when trying to sort debt relief that he's made sure ahe doesnt get a single penny from him when he dies.
My aunt *divorced* the family (she's a raging nut job) in a letter she copied and mailed to every member. My grands' will leaves her $1 so she can't come back and contest it. A copy of her letter is also in the paperwork.
If BP is still around and you happen to still be a Panda, please share with us about your raging Aunt Nut jobs reaction, to realizing the consequences of her actions. Of course only if you don't mind.
Load More Replies...The county covered up my great grandma's m**der. She was from Louisiana and didn't speak very good English. She was also biracial... So the son of her husband wanted her. She was closer to the son's age. He got mad and k*lled her. And the county said oh well.
I wanna know what year this was. Seems like a story of the past, but unfortunately I could see it happening today 😞
I don't know that this is disturbing per se, but my dad died in 2015, and last month we found out that he had had a son when he was around 20. So now I have a half brother!
Not so much disturbing as much as 'wow, his untruths went that far?'
Turned out that he did have a passport (therefore didn't enter and exit the country numerous times without documents), the police were not looking for him, he'd never created a new identity for himself by claiming to the authorities that he was born to a gypsy family and didn't owe thousands in tax. To say he was a bit of a fantasist is an understatement, but we knew it. He was, however, a cool uncle, especially once we could start going to the pub with him and I still miss him sometimes- but we knew better than to believe everything he said!
My grandfather was a high ranking officer in Yugoslav partisan army. Not that disturbing. He was, however, most likely involved in covering up post-war massacres of civilians and political enemies.
My father, on the other hand, was much more tame. He was only a high ranked member of Freemasons with a ton of secrets. I know he was involved in some behind the scenes political happenings, but I was never told what he exactly did.
My grandad was a freemason who travelled the world in the Navy in the 50's, he had a stroke when i was young (around 10) and lost his ability to speak, my dad has told me that he tried to encourage him to join as he could put a good recomendation in for him, however after attending a meeting he backed out. Hes always came close to telling me about it but seems to stop himself before going too far, which just makes me more curious. also any time I go to visit my grandad these days, he always gives me a number of complex handshakes followed by a wry smile, its like he knows i want to know his secrets but is content with the fact he cant say a word.
My grandmother hiding that my mother was possibly a bastard child for over 40 years from the rest of our extended family.
Pfft the idea of a "bastard child" is so outdated anyway. Why does someone have to carry a "shameful" title when they had absolutely no say in how they were unwillingly born? :p
My family doesn't know but I'm an adult diaper fetishist. They'll likely find out when I die and they clear out my stuff.
I'm really glad I won't be there for that.
Google it,make sure your safe search is turned off..lmao, your information a real weird treat...lol
Load More Replies...If OP gets old enough, those diapers won't be recognized as a fetish.
Yes this is a unusual type of fetish. We had a hotel guest a few years back,who had this fetish but he left a bunch of used diapers in the deesser of his room when he was asked to leave.
That's when you set a deadman switch on your computer to delete directories and browser histories...
My mother told me not too long after my grandfather's (her stepfather) funeral about how my grandmother verbally and physically abused him their whole marriage to the point my mom had to take her younger siblings out of the area. It made me think back to the one time in my whole life that he had raised his voice at me. I was single digits and watching something on TV at my grandparents' house. They were arguing and I had went 'shhh'. His response was "Don't shh me!" I say that, because I can now as an adult just realize how bad he had it and in that moment I may have felt hurt that the man that never raised his voice or hand to any of us (children, grandkids, great grandkids) was probably once again beat that night after I went home... Needless to say, I haven't spoken to or seen my maternal grandmother since, hell not even sure if she's still breathing
I had a friend who had been out of work and on benefits for years. He never married, never had kids and mostly kept to himself. His house was in a dilapidated state, he dressed and raggy old clothes and barely had enough money to feed himself and pay his bills. I helped him out whenever I could and was always giving him tips on how to save money. A few years ago he was killed in a freak accident. When his siblings were clearing our his house they came across thousands of pounds in cash hidden away in boxes, cupboards and drawers. It later transpired that he had hundreds of thousands of pounds in savings and investment accounts. Nobody knew how he acquired that kind of money.
My great grandfather tried killing my grandpa, his siblings, and my great grandma. He wanted to leave her for someone else, but didn't want to go through divorce. He set the house on fire and left. Luckily they were able to get out ok. No one could prove it or find him so he was never charged. He illegally married another women and had kids with her. The only reason my family found out is when GG passed away and one of his kids tried contacting my grandpa (their sibling) but he had already passed away so he spoke with my grandma. I found out because one of my grandpas siblings kids (so my moms half cousin) contacted me on Ancestry asking if we were related and said my GGs side of the story. I asked my mom about it and she told me the truth.
I never heard back ,but I may have an uncle I never knew about. It wasn't a secret that my grandpa liked the ladies and a gentleman reached out to one of my other uncles saying they might be brothers, but I don't know what came of the DNA test they took.
my family secret? my grandpa may have SA'd my grandma. they are first cousins (the first cousins thing isn't a secret, everyone knows, we just don't talk about it). grandpa would tell you grandma was the love of his life. my mom, his only child with her, was his favorite (also no a secret, he let it be known he favored my mom over the other kids he had with other women). but the way grandma tells it, she did not want to have that sort of relationship with him and fled when my mom was two weeks old. grandpa has passed on and I wasn't there so I don't think any of us will ever know what really happened. i only know bc i was eves dropping on night and heard my mom talking about it. from my perspective my grandpa was a good person, but i also know the people we love can be the villain.
That we may or may not have a brother or sister somewhere in N***r. My father had done his military in that country and apparently he met a woman there and he may have left the country when she was pregnant. But we don't know anything about the name or even the place she was living so... yeah... I was 13 when I learnt I had an older sister and 36 when i learnt I may have an even older sibling somewhere in Africa... Oh and that my parents, who officially broke up when I was 2, remained in fact in an open relationship until I was 14 and they met someone serious. TBH maybe the fact they were still sleeping together each time he was coming home should have been a good hint :p
My mother told me not too long after my grandfather's (her stepfather) funeral about how my grandmother verbally and physically abused him their whole marriage to the point my mom had to take her younger siblings out of the area. It made me think back to the one time in my whole life that he had raised his voice at me. I was single digits and watching something on TV at my grandparents' house. They were arguing and I had went 'shhh'. His response was "Don't shh me!" I say that, because I can now as an adult just realize how bad he had it and in that moment I may have felt hurt that the man that never raised his voice or hand to any of us (children, grandkids, great grandkids) was probably once again beat that night after I went home... Needless to say, I haven't spoken to or seen my maternal grandmother since, hell not even sure if she's still breathing
I had a friend who had been out of work and on benefits for years. He never married, never had kids and mostly kept to himself. His house was in a dilapidated state, he dressed and raggy old clothes and barely had enough money to feed himself and pay his bills. I helped him out whenever I could and was always giving him tips on how to save money. A few years ago he was killed in a freak accident. When his siblings were clearing our his house they came across thousands of pounds in cash hidden away in boxes, cupboards and drawers. It later transpired that he had hundreds of thousands of pounds in savings and investment accounts. Nobody knew how he acquired that kind of money.
My great grandfather tried killing my grandpa, his siblings, and my great grandma. He wanted to leave her for someone else, but didn't want to go through divorce. He set the house on fire and left. Luckily they were able to get out ok. No one could prove it or find him so he was never charged. He illegally married another women and had kids with her. The only reason my family found out is when GG passed away and one of his kids tried contacting my grandpa (their sibling) but he had already passed away so he spoke with my grandma. I found out because one of my grandpas siblings kids (so my moms half cousin) contacted me on Ancestry asking if we were related and said my GGs side of the story. I asked my mom about it and she told me the truth.
I never heard back ,but I may have an uncle I never knew about. It wasn't a secret that my grandpa liked the ladies and a gentleman reached out to one of my other uncles saying they might be brothers, but I don't know what came of the DNA test they took.
my family secret? my grandpa may have SA'd my grandma. they are first cousins (the first cousins thing isn't a secret, everyone knows, we just don't talk about it). grandpa would tell you grandma was the love of his life. my mom, his only child with her, was his favorite (also no a secret, he let it be known he favored my mom over the other kids he had with other women). but the way grandma tells it, she did not want to have that sort of relationship with him and fled when my mom was two weeks old. grandpa has passed on and I wasn't there so I don't think any of us will ever know what really happened. i only know bc i was eves dropping on night and heard my mom talking about it. from my perspective my grandpa was a good person, but i also know the people we love can be the villain.
That we may or may not have a brother or sister somewhere in N***r. My father had done his military in that country and apparently he met a woman there and he may have left the country when she was pregnant. But we don't know anything about the name or even the place she was living so... yeah... I was 13 when I learnt I had an older sister and 36 when i learnt I may have an even older sibling somewhere in Africa... Oh and that my parents, who officially broke up when I was 2, remained in fact in an open relationship until I was 14 and they met someone serious. TBH maybe the fact they were still sleeping together each time he was coming home should have been a good hint :p
