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8
“I Was Honestly Dumbfounded”: Person Takes Back Crocheted Blanket After SIL’s Remarks
At first glance, a handmade gift seems perfect, particularly if you have a “crafty” hobby. There is something special about getting an item that is for the most part entirely unique. Of course, this does not mean that some of the more entitled folks out there won’t still insist on making demands about every little detail.
A netizen asked the internet if they were out of line when they refused to “fix” a minor error in a handmade crocheted blanket that was intended as a gift. As anyone who has crocheted can attest to, fixing mistakes a few rows down often means just redoing the entire thing.
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Making a gift instead of buying it can be an exciting idea
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
But one netizen ended up causing some drama when they refused to do some excessive “fixes” to a blanket
Image credits: stefamerpik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: One_Entrepreneur5686
It’s best to not be too critical about free things or labor
While it’s possible to argue about if the netizen should have made some fixes, it’s worth pointing out that people have long argued for being more “forgiving” when it comes to receiving gifts. “Never look a gift horse in the mouth,” the old saying goes, although the original, in Latin, (Noli equi dentes inspicere donati) is almost as elegant, “never inspect the teeth of a given horse.” it originated in St. Jerome’s commentary on Paul’s letter to the Ephesians.
For those unfamiliar with equine biology, horse teeth keep developing as they grow older, pushing the first teeth forward. This is, incidentally, where the term “long in the tooth” comes from. In other words, you can tell a horse is old and less valuable just from its teeth. However, social wisdom would also tell you that criticizing a gift is just not something that is done. In general, every gift should be treated as a nice bonus, not something that you are entitled to like a client who has paid for a service.
Even if you are a perfectionist, it’s best to not project that idea onto other people, particularly if they aren’t your direct employees. Similarly, one of the “advantages” of a handmade item is that you can often give suggestions and express your preferences, which can’t always be done if it’s from a factory. Part of this bargain is the acknowledgment that handmade items won’t be factory perfect, unless you are really working with an expert. To add to this idea, if you actually are working with an expert and they are making something for you as a gift, perhaps relax a little bit.
“Perfectionism” isn’t an excuse to be rude
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While it’s possible that the SIL didn’t initially understand the scope of her demands, it’s still quite telling that she was so dismissive of the work already put into the blanket. Indeed, she even insulted the netizen’s work, as if it was just a trial run to her. The fact that she refused to accept the reality of fixing crocheting work is quite telling.
It’s not exactly rocket science to know that being rude about a well-meaning gift is just horrible, socially. The SIL is well within her rights to be unhappy with the situation, but it’s still the sort of thing you keep to yourself. After all, in this day and age, one can just buy a blanket, taking the time to make one by hand is hours and hours of work. There are sometimes gifts that end up being so terrible that the giver needs to be called out, but this doesn’t seem to be the case here.
A more generous explanation would be that she thought you could go back and just make some “adjustments” to crocheting work, but given her tone and the words she used, it seems she has grown accustomed to making demands. This is rude and entitled behavior. She can hide behind her “perfectionisms” but acting like this hardly shows a person to be “perfect,” given that her words were so blatantly insensitive. In other words, she seems willing to sabotage familial relationships over a few mistakes in a blanket.
Most folks thought the SIL was being too demanding
But a few thought the situation could have been handled better
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What do you think ?
RM 10 months ago (edited)
The YTA's on this one really annoy me as someone who both crochets and knits. Often if you're working on a large crochet or knitting project you don't notice that you've made an error until much later when you can see the whole thing. Especially if it's just a colour change in the wrong place, something that doesn't affect shape or stitch counts. To fix an error at the start you're basically having to unravel everything and start again. Something tiny that you don't notice until you search for it is not a problem. The recipient is being ungrateful of the time, effort and skill that's gone into the gift.
Bette 10 months ago
I was actually shocked to see YTA comments 😳 How could anyone think criticism, however it is worded is the proper response to a gift?! If a gift recipient is more concerned with finding fault than being grateful, I do not believe the mistakes made were, as one YTA phrased it: ".....so glaringly obvious that someone who does not crochet can find them......" I feel the gift recipient is just rude. Rather than engage in discussion, my response would be: In this country we say "Thank you."
Tyke 10 months ago
I really hope the recipient doesn't have kids as they're going to grow to have serious anxiety issues. OP is absolutely NTA and I'd never gift this woman anything handmade again
Broccoli 10 months ago
If that SIL has kids, she is probably going to end up forcing them to be “perfect”
Load More Replies... RM 10 months ago (edited)
The YTA's on this one really annoy me as someone who both crochets and knits. Often if you're working on a large crochet or knitting project you don't notice that you've made an error until much later when you can see the whole thing. Especially if it's just a colour change in the wrong place, something that doesn't affect shape or stitch counts. To fix an error at the start you're basically having to unravel everything and start again. Something tiny that you don't notice until you search for it is not a problem. The recipient is being ungrateful of the time, effort and skill that's gone into the gift.
Bette 10 months ago
I was actually shocked to see YTA comments 😳 How could anyone think criticism, however it is worded is the proper response to a gift?! If a gift recipient is more concerned with finding fault than being grateful, I do not believe the mistakes made were, as one YTA phrased it: ".....so glaringly obvious that someone who does not crochet can find them......" I feel the gift recipient is just rude. Rather than engage in discussion, my response would be: In this country we say "Thank you."
Tyke 10 months ago
I really hope the recipient doesn't have kids as they're going to grow to have serious anxiety issues. OP is absolutely NTA and I'd never gift this woman anything handmade again
Broccoli 10 months ago
If that SIL has kids, she is probably going to end up forcing them to be “perfect”
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