“I’m Sorry I Don’t Look Like You Enough For You To Love Me”: Mom Uninvites Daughter From Wedding So As Not To Upset New Husband’s Family
Weddings are notorious for sparking drama between spouses and their loved ones. From getting every detail right to making sure one of the biggest days of your life is special for everyone, saying “I do” puts a lot of pressure on a couple. Especially when your nuptials extend past a traditional model, like having to navigate the twists and turns of blended family dynamics.
However, while some see this event as a celebration of love that should include any adult or child the happy pair cares about, others take the opportunity to cause heated disputes that divide the whole family. Unfortunately, Redditor Intrepid-Thought1752 experienced the latter scenario firsthand.
The 15-year-old teen reached out to the AITA community to ask for perspective about a predicament she found herself in. The user wondered if she went too far by yelling at her mother after she unexpectedly uninvited her from her wedding. “Simply because her boyfriend thought I would upset his family,” the user wrote. What followed was a “screaming match” that put their mother-daughter relationship to trial. Read on for the full story, and be sure to weigh in on the situation in the comments.
One mom recently sparked drama after she uninvited her daughter from the wedding to avoid upsetting her fiancé’s family
Image credits: Lucia Macedo (not the actual photo)
The 15-year-old teen shared the whole incident with the AITA community to ask for perspective
Image credits: Shardayyy Photography (not the actual photo)
After reading the story, the vast majority of Redditors expressed overwhelming support for the teen and raised serious concerns about her mother’s behavior. The user later clarified a few details in the comments, saying that she usually spends time with her mom when her boyfriend is not around, claiming that this way, “she wants to keep the peace”.
Many believed that refusing to invite your partner’s child to your wedding and causing tension in the mother-daughter bond is enough to sound the alarm on this relationship. But the unfortunate reality is that thrusting into a new domestic situation can be daunting and challenging for every member of the family (although that does not give the right to make a child feel unwelcome in the family). Thankfully, the author of this story has a support network to help her navigate through this unfortunate situation and can count on her brothers and dad to have her back.
Still, conflicts between two families that come together under one roof are nothing new. While stepfamilies were once a rarity in American culture, they are becoming increasingly more common. According to the U.S. Bureau of Census, 1300 new stepfamilies are formed every day, and over half of families in the country are remarried or re-coupled. It has become one of the fastest-growing household types, so finding yourself in the world of “steps” has become a norm for many. But research from the Stepfamily Foundation revealed that 75% complain they are not getting the resources needed to properly understand their new family situation.
Let’s face it, sometimes blended families just don’t blend. The statistics on stepfamily success are dire, with divorce rates exponentially increasing to how many times you marry. Moreover, the U.S. Census Bureau and the 20-year Virginia Longitudinal Study of Divorce and Remarriage stated that more than 60 percent and up to 73 percent of marriages involving children from previous partnerships ultimately fail.
Later on, the user clarified a few details in the comments
Bored Panda previously had a chat with Dr. Lisa Doodson, a psychologist and author of How to be a Happy Stepmum, about the challenges people face in new family situations. Being the founder of Happy Steps, the UK’s only research-based stepfamily resource center, she aims to help families and individuals strengthen their relationships.
“Stepfamilies take a long time to form — much longer than people expect or want, and one of the reasons is role confusion,” Dr. Doodson told us. “We know what a mum or dad’s role is, but stepparents and stepchildren is far less clear. The best way to approach this is to talk to your partner about your expectations and understand theirs. If there are differences, then try and find compromises. It may be that you just need more time to adapt and feel more confident.”
The psychologist pointed out that when people inevitably find themselves in the middle of a family argument, they should remember there are always two sides to every disagreement. Plus, it’s always important to understand why people are behaving the way they are.
“Disputes are common and normal and everyone finds a way to adapt and change. If you remember to look for the positives rather than focusing on the issues then you should be able to work through the challenges,” Dr. Doodson said. “Stepfamilies are full of complex relationships and emotions. There is often no quick fix but with patience and kindness, you will find the right way for your new family to work and flourish.”
However, this is a delicate situation that is taking a toll on a teenager’s well-being. While it’s reassuring to know the author of this post has someone who’ll be there for her no matter what, parents shouldn’t make their kids feel like they’re unworthy of their love. What do you think about this whole ordeal? Do you justify the user’s actions or believe she was in the wrong in this situation? We’d love to hear your thoughts, so be sure to leave them down below.
The vast majority of Redditors sided with the daughter and deemed that the only people at fault here are the mother and her fiancé
My mother always chose men over my sister and me. I kept contact to the barest minimum, but she wouldn't leave me alone, and would tell me she loved me in the sickliest sweet fake tone over the phone. She died in 2019. I was glad.
The best revenge is living well, especially after the b***h is now gone.
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I'm glad to hear she lives with her dad. Her mom sounds like toxic trouble that needs to be cut out. Its tough being a teen and having to deal with this. That's for sure
Poor girl. I hope her father is being a great parent to her and won't let her down like her mother did.
Truly heartbreaking because it's very relatable on so many levels, especially "looking too much like dad" 😢 ... Mothers can be awful sometimes💔...Tho it's great u have your brothers and father with your side 👍
I have a son he’s my oldest son, his father and we split before he was 3yrs old, and his father had no contact with him or his sister, so it amazed me while he was growing up, he had the same ticks as his father, and looks wise,his father couldn’t deny him if he wanted to, even though I absolutely hated my kids father by the time we split, and every time I looked at my son it was like looking at a younger version of his father, I carried him for 9 months and gave birth to my son, and never felt any les for him than I did and still do for his sister who is my twin. Children can’t help who they take after, the only thing I made sure with my son was to make sure that he grew into a better man than his father ever was.
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Mom is a MAJOR narcissist, to a point of being a disgusting human being. It is no loss if this OP never sees her selfish mother again.
She's still just a baby too! What kind of mother would do this?! My heart breaks for this to be even written much less spoken to her!! The heartless b***h that is her mother can never have happiness in her life. Karma will come for her. Stay with your dad, where your loved and respected. Something's in life you just can't fix. Stay away from her! Go make a happy life. This is Not about you! You're perfect sweetheart! Never forget this lesson. They make you stronger!! All my prayers 🙏🏼❤️
How dare the OP look like the man her mother chose to have sex with! (sarcasm) I have a mother like that and don't visit her. I feel for ya, OP. NTA.
For me this is like a double insult. Speaking as a black woman, I can't imagine another black woman behaving like this with their children, I don't care how close they are. My grandmother had post pardum after the birth of my dad and she loved him to bits. My dad and aunt had the same dad and his older siblings had different dads. Either way, my grandmother loved all of her children the same. This woman is stupid to disrupt what little relationship she has with her daughter over some guy. This girl needs to go no contact with her mom. It's not like her mother would really care one way or the other. She needs to do what she can to protect her heart from being continously broken.
what the... How can a person be such garbage to their own daughter like that😰
As someone who cut their parents out of my life, I can sympathise so much with this. I would recommend a therapist. Mine helped me to realise I didn't have to put up with my mother's abuse or my father's neglect just because of biology. Had to ditch a load of friends who told me I should be ashamed of myself. It's a hard hard road. It's hard when you realise the person who is meant to love you the most of everyone, doesn't. Please remember she does have the right to define who you are and what your worth is.
Totally agree with you regarding the OP seeking a therapist and her mother doesn't have the right to define or decide this young lady's value. Hope she realizes how precious she truly is.
Load More Replies... Man, it was a gut-punch when OP revealed her father is darker skinned than her mother. So "looks more like her dad" could very well have just meant she was darker skinned than her brothers. And that all this weird exclusion by her mother and her boyfriend could've just been straight-up internalized racism.
It's colorism. They want to exclude her because she's darker-skinned. As I understand it, colorism is even more rampant in Mexico, Central and South America than it is in the US. The fiance and his family might have a strong bias against dark-skinned people. The mom and other kids are okay because they're lighter-skinned.
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Because you want to do something about it, but you can't. Because it's a goddamn injustice and it so very easily could not be if the mother wasn't a raging peice of trash.
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Some times the trash takes itself out. She's only 15. Thr mother will need her but she won't need her mother when she's a woman.
That woman can leech off her triplets in her old age. Not this little girl's problem at all. OP needs to understand that anything wrong is the responsibility of the ADULTS only. She is a kid and is only responsible for those things that 15yr olds do. Also, she should know that *anything* said to her by family members on her 'mother's' side should be written down in a journal and told to her father ASAP.
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You deserve a better mother. She should be ashamed of making choices that made you feel this badly. For no good reason! You deserve so so so much more.
I wonder if her moms boyfriend has made creepy comments about OP. Because she doesn't want him around her. Maybe her mom is insecure and thinks her bf likes her daughter or he's a creep. He could also be a scape goat and mom uses him as the excuse for her crappy behavior. I'll Probably get a lot of hate foe this but call cps. It makes me wonder if she might even be in a domestic violence case . Either way after this incident she needs to cut all contact off because she's better than that . I really hope she goes and lives her life without a single thought about them . I understand why OP's mom and dad got divorced and I'm so glad she has a loving and caring father
She definitively needs to stay away from that man and NEVER let him get her alone. Scream blue murder if he does!!
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Mom is definitely an AH but some of the things OP said make me feel like we aren't getting the whole story. Like she doesn't acknowledge her younger sisters as being related to her and her mom won't let her spend any time with them. They are people too, and probably have hurt feelings by that. I feel like there's a chance OP has done things that contributed to her stepfather's dislike of her, but because she's a teenager, interprets it very one-sidedly.
At the same time, the situation is between grown a*s adults (mom and her bf) and a child who has clearly been made to feel unwanted by her own mother. What possible excuse could mom have that would make her any less of an AH?
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I can't disagree more with the parents that prefer more their partners than their children. Then, ask why they don't want/feel comfortable around them. I would like to know what would happen in their future. For me, there would be a time in which the mom could be with her new family away from her first children, or divorced, seeking attention from her first children. As an important thing for me, I am totally against parents being abandoned by their adult offspring. But, it was because my parents are the opposite as their biological parents were with them. -Well, my paternal grandfather was killed when my dad was months old- and, I reeeeaaaally hate whenever the aunts and uncles that experienced the best of their parents try to convince my parents how wonderful they were, where my parents lived totally the opposite, only because they were the kids of another mom/dad -_-
I was an unwanted child, as I was a surprise and an inconvenience. They tried, my parents. And despite my mom being insane (literally insane) and my dad never being around, I understand they didn't actually hate me or do this to me on purpose. It was a hard pill to swallow because I wanted to hate them for the CPTSD and major depression I have because of them. I'm literally unable to believe anyone on the planet can love me. I'm married and I still don't think my husband loves me, I think he just thinks I'm pretty cool and living together is fun. (It is) It's something I'm going to therapy for, and working through. My husband is aware, and I don't make him work to try to gain anything he might not get. But he's still my best friend. That being said, this story upsets me because, while my situation was bad, it wasn't intentional. This woman-thing that birthed a child and then just said "eh, whatever" at it, chose a man over her, disregarded her entirely, this is intentional.
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The mother is a POS and OP should absolutely go no contact from here. NTA 3000.
Unfortunately, we can't choose our family and be exempt from AHs. I hope the OP lives a successful, happy life and cuts contact with the toxic mother. I experienced something similar from my mother's family and created my own urban family. Never looked back.
I beg to differ. I have a chosen family, quite literally. A mess of close friends that might as well be family, that treated me better than my actual family did. I'm in the will, I'm being taught life lessons, I'm being cared about. No friend, my blood family is just blood. They made that clear when all contact was cut off. My chosen family is here and cares about me.
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Oh that poor child. I was the middle of five kids from two marriages and adopted by My step aunt and uncle at four. My younger sister once asked my Bio-Mom why she gave me up, I was 19, my sister 16. She replied I looked exactly like my Bio-Dad...boy DO I...and she couldn't stand to look at me. My poor sister was devastated, I'd heard a less harsh, but along the same reason...he favored me as I looked Native American, all siblings biological and adopted family were blonde and light eyes. I forgave Anna and we became close in her last years but never resolved the self loathing I've carried for 62 years. I pray this child gets therapy and continues long term therapy, I didn't and wish I had. May The Universe Bless her...what a load of garbage for someone so young to carry.
At least bros got some decency. If you can't really love someone's kid's don't date a parent I see that too often.
This is why I think just because you have a child, doesn't make you a parent. My parents treated me horribly, though I'm fairly certain now after six years of therapy, that my mom was just dealing with a *lot* of undiagnosed mental illness, and my dad just worked so much (because she wouldn't at all) he was literally never there for me. It was a horrible home life, but Ive forgiven them. This woman? This human-thing that happened to have a child? I'm so happy that kid isn't with her. What a @#$&ing trash heap. Chosing your bed buddy and his babies over your first family? That's pathetic. You know it's because she just wants to please her new shiny toy, and the man is just eating that subservient nature up.
Nta I wanna know who cause it said most redditors agreed nta who tf is saying that they are the ahole
Reading this brought me to the point of tears because it awakened one of my worst memories of my mother. Please know that you have no responsibility to your mother's and her boyfriend's hang ups about your resemblance to your father. You are you. Beautiful you! Please, go on and live as beautiful a life as you can. Be happy with yourself and cherish the love of your brothers. Know that she will be revisited by thoughts of her actions. 😢
I look like my dad and well, my mom didn't react well at all. Even asked my pediatrician when I had to get a physical before school to remove a portion of my lower lip and asked for a razor blade when they said no. When she died in 2017, I wanted to put her body/ashes in the garbage.. apparently that's illegal.
You need to give your mother and her bf a wide, wide berth. I'm foreseeing some serious personal damage to yourself if you dont. Ever heard the term 'malignant narcissist'? Your mother is one and it sounds like bf us right there with her. Avoid these people for your own sake.
Poor kid is certainly *NTA*! The 'mother'~~I use that term very loosely, certainly has a personality disorder. Neither that woman nor her new husband should ever come near that chld, period. She is not safe if they decide that she's responsible for whatever problems they currently have. I am dead~serious about this.
After that nonsense, I wouldn't pee on the mom if she were on fire. Let that evil witch cook.. You're better off without someone like that in your life dragging you down.
Could this be colourism? If Mom and brothers are lighter-skinned "looking too much like Dad" could be code for "darker skin tone". Either way, it's a crappy way to treat your own child. I'm not 100% on the kid's side, because it sounds like there's a lot of conflict with the stepdad, and OP sounds like an emotional and reactive teen. That, plus her attitude towards her half-siblings suggests that her own behaviour is contributing to strained relationships. It's possible that mom is afraid she'll make a scene at the wedding, or pick on the half-siblings, but if those are the issues, she should be adressing them, not uninviting her. Screaming matches in public are not the best way to deal with it, but again, hormonal teen. NTA.
Emotional and reactive teens can be dealt with if you are an adult. I'd like to know why this girl and her mother agree that it's best to visit when boyfriend is away? Sounds suspiciously like BF might be paying too much attention to the 15 year old...
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I know your feeling, and I suggest you cut off ties with your mom. Even if she tries to contact you, block her number. You do not need that negativity. Be yourself and be a better person. Your mom is not a good person.
NTA. Just ghost her. Ignore her calls, never come over, post about all the fun you have with your dad. See how she feels when she's ignored for someone else.
Tight-Background-252 got it EXACTLY right on what the OP should do!
Listen you only live once be yourself be happy screw your mom screw your stepdad and move on with your life you don't need them
Okidoki, there’s only one way to go. Ditch the bìtch, move on with your life. You’re not going to lose anything, you never had a mother - an incubator doesn’t count. I wish you all the best in the world.
See ya ma’. Disgusting “parenting” She’s not worthy of calling herself a mother.
Retaliation will make you the a******, rise above it, move forward and grow from the bad experience. Sometimes parents are selfish because they only see how they are effected or what will make them happy. It sounds like your mom only sees your dad in you and doesn't want to remember that stag in her life especially if she sees it as a failure and it probably was her fault for the marriage ending . So there's guilt. Her future husband is probably an A** and hisspanic families often have loud and unprecedented opinions about relationships and step children. Of course they will say things but your mom should be strong enough to not listen and not let it put a further rift between you two. Shame on the adults in your life. You dad needs to step up and protect your emotional health and stability. Even if it means you not visiting your mom for the next few years and limited calls. Everyone deserves an awesome "Sweet " sixteen birthday with an awesome gift. Plan a party w/ your bros and dad.
My mother always chose men over my sister and me. I kept contact to the barest minimum, but she wouldn't leave me alone, and would tell me she loved me in the sickliest sweet fake tone over the phone. She died in 2019. I was glad.
The best revenge is living well, especially after the b***h is now gone.
Load More Replies... I'm glad to hear she lives with her dad. Her mom sounds like toxic trouble that needs to be cut out. Its tough being a teen and having to deal with this. That's for sure
Poor girl. I hope her father is being a great parent to her and won't let her down like her mother did.
Truly heartbreaking because it's very relatable on so many levels, especially "looking too much like dad" 😢 ... Mothers can be awful sometimes💔...Tho it's great u have your brothers and father with your side 👍
I have a son he’s my oldest son, his father and we split before he was 3yrs old, and his father had no contact with him or his sister, so it amazed me while he was growing up, he had the same ticks as his father, and looks wise,his father couldn’t deny him if he wanted to, even though I absolutely hated my kids father by the time we split, and every time I looked at my son it was like looking at a younger version of his father, I carried him for 9 months and gave birth to my son, and never felt any les for him than I did and still do for his sister who is my twin. Children can’t help who they take after, the only thing I made sure with my son was to make sure that he grew into a better man than his father ever was.
Load More Replies... Mom is a MAJOR narcissist, to a point of being a disgusting human being. It is no loss if this OP never sees her selfish mother again.
She's still just a baby too! What kind of mother would do this?! My heart breaks for this to be even written much less spoken to her!! The heartless b***h that is her mother can never have happiness in her life. Karma will come for her. Stay with your dad, where your loved and respected. Something's in life you just can't fix. Stay away from her! Go make a happy life. This is Not about you! You're perfect sweetheart! Never forget this lesson. They make you stronger!! All my prayers 🙏🏼❤️
How dare the OP look like the man her mother chose to have sex with! (sarcasm) I have a mother like that and don't visit her. I feel for ya, OP. NTA.
For me this is like a double insult. Speaking as a black woman, I can't imagine another black woman behaving like this with their children, I don't care how close they are. My grandmother had post pardum after the birth of my dad and she loved him to bits. My dad and aunt had the same dad and his older siblings had different dads. Either way, my grandmother loved all of her children the same. This woman is stupid to disrupt what little relationship she has with her daughter over some guy. This girl needs to go no contact with her mom. It's not like her mother would really care one way or the other. She needs to do what she can to protect her heart from being continously broken.
what the... How can a person be such garbage to their own daughter like that😰
As someone who cut their parents out of my life, I can sympathise so much with this. I would recommend a therapist. Mine helped me to realise I didn't have to put up with my mother's abuse or my father's neglect just because of biology. Had to ditch a load of friends who told me I should be ashamed of myself. It's a hard hard road. It's hard when you realise the person who is meant to love you the most of everyone, doesn't. Please remember she does have the right to define who you are and what your worth is.
Totally agree with you regarding the OP seeking a therapist and her mother doesn't have the right to define or decide this young lady's value. Hope she realizes how precious she truly is.
Load More Replies... Man, it was a gut-punch when OP revealed her father is darker skinned than her mother. So "looks more like her dad" could very well have just meant she was darker skinned than her brothers. And that all this weird exclusion by her mother and her boyfriend could've just been straight-up internalized racism.
It's colorism. They want to exclude her because she's darker-skinned. As I understand it, colorism is even more rampant in Mexico, Central and South America than it is in the US. The fiance and his family might have a strong bias against dark-skinned people. The mom and other kids are okay because they're lighter-skinned.
Load More Replies... Because you want to do something about it, but you can't. Because it's a goddamn injustice and it so very easily could not be if the mother wasn't a raging peice of trash.
Load More Replies... Some times the trash takes itself out. She's only 15. Thr mother will need her but she won't need her mother when she's a woman.
That woman can leech off her triplets in her old age. Not this little girl's problem at all. OP needs to understand that anything wrong is the responsibility of the ADULTS only. She is a kid and is only responsible for those things that 15yr olds do. Also, she should know that *anything* said to her by family members on her 'mother's' side should be written down in a journal and told to her father ASAP.
Load More Replies... You deserve a better mother. She should be ashamed of making choices that made you feel this badly. For no good reason! You deserve so so so much more.
I wonder if her moms boyfriend has made creepy comments about OP. Because she doesn't want him around her. Maybe her mom is insecure and thinks her bf likes her daughter or he's a creep. He could also be a scape goat and mom uses him as the excuse for her crappy behavior. I'll Probably get a lot of hate foe this but call cps. It makes me wonder if she might even be in a domestic violence case . Either way after this incident she needs to cut all contact off because she's better than that . I really hope she goes and lives her life without a single thought about them . I understand why OP's mom and dad got divorced and I'm so glad she has a loving and caring father
She definitively needs to stay away from that man and NEVER let him get her alone. Scream blue murder if he does!!
Load More Replies... Mom is definitely an AH but some of the things OP said make me feel like we aren't getting the whole story. Like she doesn't acknowledge her younger sisters as being related to her and her mom won't let her spend any time with them. They are people too, and probably have hurt feelings by that. I feel like there's a chance OP has done things that contributed to her stepfather's dislike of her, but because she's a teenager, interprets it very one-sidedly.
At the same time, the situation is between grown a*s adults (mom and her bf) and a child who has clearly been made to feel unwanted by her own mother. What possible excuse could mom have that would make her any less of an AH?
Load More Replies... I can't disagree more with the parents that prefer more their partners than their children. Then, ask why they don't want/feel comfortable around them. I would like to know what would happen in their future. For me, there would be a time in which the mom could be with her new family away from her first children, or divorced, seeking attention from her first children. As an important thing for me, I am totally against parents being abandoned by their adult offspring. But, it was because my parents are the opposite as their biological parents were with them. -Well, my paternal grandfather was killed when my dad was months old- and, I reeeeaaaally hate whenever the aunts and uncles that experienced the best of their parents try to convince my parents how wonderful they were, where my parents lived totally the opposite, only because they were the kids of another mom/dad -_-
I was an unwanted child, as I was a surprise and an inconvenience. They tried, my parents. And despite my mom being insane (literally insane) and my dad never being around, I understand they didn't actually hate me or do this to me on purpose. It was a hard pill to swallow because I wanted to hate them for the CPTSD and major depression I have because of them. I'm literally unable to believe anyone on the planet can love me. I'm married and I still don't think my husband loves me, I think he just thinks I'm pretty cool and living together is fun. (It is) It's something I'm going to therapy for, and working through. My husband is aware, and I don't make him work to try to gain anything he might not get. But he's still my best friend. That being said, this story upsets me because, while my situation was bad, it wasn't intentional. This woman-thing that birthed a child and then just said "eh, whatever" at it, chose a man over her, disregarded her entirely, this is intentional.
Load More Replies... The mother is a POS and OP should absolutely go no contact from here. NTA 3000.
Unfortunately, we can't choose our family and be exempt from AHs. I hope the OP lives a successful, happy life and cuts contact with the toxic mother. I experienced something similar from my mother's family and created my own urban family. Never looked back.
I beg to differ. I have a chosen family, quite literally. A mess of close friends that might as well be family, that treated me better than my actual family did. I'm in the will, I'm being taught life lessons, I'm being cared about. No friend, my blood family is just blood. They made that clear when all contact was cut off. My chosen family is here and cares about me.
Load More Replies... Oh that poor child. I was the middle of five kids from two marriages and adopted by My step aunt and uncle at four. My younger sister once asked my Bio-Mom why she gave me up, I was 19, my sister 16. She replied I looked exactly like my Bio-Dad...boy DO I...and she couldn't stand to look at me. My poor sister was devastated, I'd heard a less harsh, but along the same reason...he favored me as I looked Native American, all siblings biological and adopted family were blonde and light eyes. I forgave Anna and we became close in her last years but never resolved the self loathing I've carried for 62 years. I pray this child gets therapy and continues long term therapy, I didn't and wish I had. May The Universe Bless her...what a load of garbage for someone so young to carry.
At least bros got some decency. If you can't really love someone's kid's don't date a parent I see that too often.
This is why I think just because you have a child, doesn't make you a parent. My parents treated me horribly, though I'm fairly certain now after six years of therapy, that my mom was just dealing with a *lot* of undiagnosed mental illness, and my dad just worked so much (because she wouldn't at all) he was literally never there for me. It was a horrible home life, but Ive forgiven them. This woman? This human-thing that happened to have a child? I'm so happy that kid isn't with her. What a @#$&ing trash heap. Chosing your bed buddy and his babies over your first family? That's pathetic. You know it's because she just wants to please her new shiny toy, and the man is just eating that subservient nature up.
Nta I wanna know who cause it said most redditors agreed nta who tf is saying that they are the ahole
Reading this brought me to the point of tears because it awakened one of my worst memories of my mother. Please know that you have no responsibility to your mother's and her boyfriend's hang ups about your resemblance to your father. You are you. Beautiful you! Please, go on and live as beautiful a life as you can. Be happy with yourself and cherish the love of your brothers. Know that she will be revisited by thoughts of her actions. 😢
I look like my dad and well, my mom didn't react well at all. Even asked my pediatrician when I had to get a physical before school to remove a portion of my lower lip and asked for a razor blade when they said no. When she died in 2017, I wanted to put her body/ashes in the garbage.. apparently that's illegal.
You need to give your mother and her bf a wide, wide berth. I'm foreseeing some serious personal damage to yourself if you dont. Ever heard the term 'malignant narcissist'? Your mother is one and it sounds like bf us right there with her. Avoid these people for your own sake.
Poor kid is certainly *NTA*! The 'mother'~~I use that term very loosely, certainly has a personality disorder. Neither that woman nor her new husband should ever come near that chld, period. She is not safe if they decide that she's responsible for whatever problems they currently have. I am dead~serious about this.
After that nonsense, I wouldn't pee on the mom if she were on fire. Let that evil witch cook.. You're better off without someone like that in your life dragging you down.
Could this be colourism? If Mom and brothers are lighter-skinned "looking too much like Dad" could be code for "darker skin tone". Either way, it's a crappy way to treat your own child. I'm not 100% on the kid's side, because it sounds like there's a lot of conflict with the stepdad, and OP sounds like an emotional and reactive teen. That, plus her attitude towards her half-siblings suggests that her own behaviour is contributing to strained relationships. It's possible that mom is afraid she'll make a scene at the wedding, or pick on the half-siblings, but if those are the issues, she should be adressing them, not uninviting her. Screaming matches in public are not the best way to deal with it, but again, hormonal teen. NTA.
Emotional and reactive teens can be dealt with if you are an adult. I'd like to know why this girl and her mother agree that it's best to visit when boyfriend is away? Sounds suspiciously like BF might be paying too much attention to the 15 year old...
Load More Replies... I know your feeling, and I suggest you cut off ties with your mom. Even if she tries to contact you, block her number. You do not need that negativity. Be yourself and be a better person. Your mom is not a good person.
NTA. Just ghost her. Ignore her calls, never come over, post about all the fun you have with your dad. See how she feels when she's ignored for someone else.
Tight-Background-252 got it EXACTLY right on what the OP should do!
Listen you only live once be yourself be happy screw your mom screw your stepdad and move on with your life you don't need them
Okidoki, there’s only one way to go. Ditch the bìtch, move on with your life. You’re not going to lose anything, you never had a mother - an incubator doesn’t count. I wish you all the best in the world.
See ya ma’. Disgusting “parenting” She’s not worthy of calling herself a mother.
Retaliation will make you the a******, rise above it, move forward and grow from the bad experience. Sometimes parents are selfish because they only see how they are effected or what will make them happy. It sounds like your mom only sees your dad in you and doesn't want to remember that stag in her life especially if she sees it as a failure and it probably was her fault for the marriage ending . So there's guilt. Her future husband is probably an A** and hisspanic families often have loud and unprecedented opinions about relationships and step children. Of course they will say things but your mom should be strong enough to not listen and not let it put a further rift between you two. Shame on the adults in your life. You dad needs to step up and protect your emotional health and stability. Even if it means you not visiting your mom for the next few years and limited calls. Everyone deserves an awesome "Sweet " sixteen birthday with an awesome gift. Plan a party w/ your bros and dad.
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