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“Is This A Phase?”: Mom Freaks Out After 9 Y.O. Daughter Comes Out As A Therian
“Is This A Phase?”: Mom Freaks Out After 9 Y.O. Daughter Comes Out As A Therian
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“Is This A Phase?”: Mom Freaks Out After 9 Y.O. Daughter Comes Out As A Therian

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It can be tough for some parents to see their child go through an identity crisis. It usually happens as they enter puberty, which, for many, can be a challenging experience. 

Reddit user Brief_Sun_5937 shared today’s story about a rather unique situation involving her nine-year-old daughter. The young mom was at a loss and took to the internet for some advice. 

Bored Panda reached out to the original poster, who has yet to respond. We will update the article once we receive a reply.

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    Many children go through a period of identity crisis as they try to find themselves while growing up

    Image credits: Satura_/Envato elements (not the actual photo)

    The nine-year-old girl in this story is going through this challenging phase, which has left her mom feeling uncomfortable

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    Image credits: Michael Heise/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    The young mother is now seeking the internet’s help on how to handle her complex predicament

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    Image credits: Brief_Sun_5937

    Having a nonhuman identity is normal among children entering adolescence, according to experts

    Image credits: hwilson8/Envato elements (not the actual photo)

    According to therapist Vilte Baliutaviciute, MA, LPC, of IntraSpectrum Counseling in Chicago, having a nonhuman identity is generally par for the course for any young individual growing up. Here’s what she wrote in her article:

    “Nonhuman identity, like other facets of identity, tends to go through a developmental period (usually in adolescence) and stay stable throughout the lifespan. Some research suggests a possible overlap with other forms of neurodiversity, but the identity itself is not inherently pathological. 

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    “Most clinical and sociological research on therian and otherkin communities agrees: this is best approached as diversity, not deficit. Someone can have a rich, well-adjusted life while still identifying as a bear or kobold.”

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    Human behavior writer Michael Bond echoed a similar sentiment in a piece he wrote for UnHerd. Having friends who identified as therians, he developed a deeper understanding of what they go through. 

    “Therians are not delusional or psychotic,” he wrote. “Their animalistic feelings are a perpetual feature of their lives and are not alleviated by medication. They are aware, often to their profound disappointment, that they can never transform into animals.”

    Therians live complicated lives, and all they want is acceptance

    Image credits: Gerardo Infante/Envato elements (not the actual photo)

    As Bond explains in his piece, many psychologists see the same distress levels between Therians and people who don’t feel like the gender they were born with.  

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    “For Therians, ‘finding yourself” — that nebulous ideal promoted by the self-help industry — is obligatory,” he wrote. “Although discovery may bring relief, it does not help with the bigger question: why am I this way? 

    “Science doesn’t provide many answers, so they can only speculate. Therianthropy may be a developmental response to early trauma or a childhood fixation on animals, or it may be a result of abnormal brain wiring. People of a spiritual inclination might think of it in terms of reincarnation or a ‘misplaced soul.’”

    Bond also spoke with a Therian friend, BearX, who leads a normal life as a married man with two children and an engineering career. The family supposedly lives a “comfortable middle-class life” in a “nice house.” But deep down, he had a different feeling about who he really was and should be. 

    “I had an internal sense as a kid that I was supposed to be bigger, heavier,” said BearX. “Later, I worked out that bears fit everything that I felt. It led me to think that maybe I was supposed to have been born a bear, and there was some kind of cataclysmic failure in the universe’s sorting system.”

    Ultimately, all BearX wants is to be treated the same way as the rest of the population. 

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    “Our lives would be immeasurably improved if people accepted it if it wasn’t considered strange,” he told Bond. 

    Parents generally want their children to fit into society and live normal lives. Therefore, the cause for concern of the mom in this story is understandable, given that her daughter may have a rough, difficult time growing up. What do you think, pandas?

    The mom provided more information to add to her post

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    Some commenters gave their reactions and pieces of advice

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    While others shared their personal accounts

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    Read less »
    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Read less »

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    What do you think ?
    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm with the Reddiors here, he child has to be taken off the internet and needs a hobby outside of socials, and mom has to supervise everything she does online. When I was 9, I wanted to be a dinosaur and chase other children around, but I had not the slightest clue what a therian is. In fact, I had to google it today (as it turned out, it's not the same as furries at all, those I know) and seems to be some sort of spirituality thing. The kid must have come across it on some socials, and places like these get weird really really fast, so her contact to these people should be stopped immediately. If she's really interested in therianthropy, she can pick that up again when she's older and more experienced with life.

    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed that a 9 year old should be off the internet. The problem arises when classmates have access and/or friends have older siblings with access. Children talk. Parents don't. They think that handing a baby an iPad is perfectly good parenting -it isn't. It may not be the content that is disturbing but the ads that are and the ads for TikTok on other platforms expose kids to all kinds of weird sh!t.

    Load More Replies...
    Okiedokie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it is urgent that children be supervised and taught safe internet use. It’s past the point of banning them until a certain age, kids have to be taught individuality & self love and how to navigate that before anything else.

    Therian At Heart
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ITS NOT TTHE INTERNET, ITS NOT DANGEROUS, ITS SELF-EXPRESSION DUMB@SSES

    Load More Replies...
    Ruby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah honestly the thing I'm most worried about is the kid knowing about therians. I'm a furry myself, but I did not fully even know what it was until I was like 16. Before I knew what it was, I was just like "yeah anthro animals are cool and I like to draw them". When I got older I found out there was a community for it. It's normal kid logic to like that type of stuff. The therian community goes wayyy deeper then just acting like an animal (which is what most kids think it is). Let the kid play pretend, it's part of being a kid. But please be careful what type of stuff they come across on the internet.

    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You think therians are weird? One of my aunts (who died in her 20s) went through a phase when she thought she was a space shuttle.

    Load More Replies...
    Sage da therian
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok. I'm going to say a few things: -At that age, it most likely is a phase. -Yes, some people in the therian/furry community are predators. They are hated by everyone else. -The definition if a therian: Someone who identifies as an animal on a *non-physical* or spiritual level. We do not believe we are animals. She knows she is not an animal. -The best thing to do is let her be herself, because at this age she will most likely outgrow it. -There is a subreddit for therians, if you are confused on what to do, they are very helpful. - If she really is a therian, taking away internet will not do anything. Ultimately, it is a permanent part of who you are, and you cannot change it. This is not a new thing either!. If you have any questions, feel free to ask! ALSO: ZOOPH*LES ARE NOT THE SAME AS FURRIES/THERIANS! And not all furries are there for the ...wierd component. Most just like to cosplay as anthro animals and like having their own mascot, especially younger members of the furry community.

    AngelWingsYT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upvoting this to get it up higher as its informative and not condensending

    Load More Replies...
    UpupaEpops
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At that age, I was firmly convinced that if I injected myself with a bit of animal blood, I would be able to get some of their traits. So I was on a quest for cheetah blood to become the fastest runner in the world. In my defence, in our traditional stories, people can transform into animals by wearing their pelts but I didn't want to hurt them. My logic was that DNA gives you the traits you have, it can be found in blood so obviously you can just browse through the traits like you would in a book and pick the ones that you like. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Got to love kid logic.

    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To me your story seems more similar to what the kid is on about, than any furry stuff. It's normal at that age, especially if you have an overactive imagination or feel different from those around you. It's probably still a good idea to make sure she doesn't get trapped in some furry rabbit hole.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is just like any other group or identity your child shares with you. Take it seriously, don't assume you know what things mean, ask and believe her, and don't make more of it than it is. If you don't handle this in a way that shows you are listening and valuing what she tells you, she won't share the next time something important comes up. So it doesn't matter if it's a phase or not, your response should be the same.

    Mi So
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like what you said about not assuming you know what it means. More significantly, don’t assume they know what it means. Get them to explain it, get all on the same page of understanding. Kids often hear & start using words that they think they understand but don’t really, & end up using them incorrectly.

    Load More Replies...
    Vix Spiderthrust
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every nine-year-old boy wants to be a train driver. They aren't making life decisions at that age. Settle down.

    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like this is similar to that short time period where flash mob was being used as a term for spontaneous dance events, but also for spontaneous mob violence. Most kids around that age want/feel that they are something besides human or just really love animals. But doing an internet search brings up the adult version of this. The terms are crossing two very different things.

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meh, it's normal kid logic. It's a step in finding out who you are and what makes you special. It's the same as when kids dress up as batman, just with animals. It's probably like a game or something. "I'm a bunny" okay "Have a carrot".

    Anyone-for-tea?
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, today I found out what a therian is!

    Load More Comments
    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm with the Reddiors here, he child has to be taken off the internet and needs a hobby outside of socials, and mom has to supervise everything she does online. When I was 9, I wanted to be a dinosaur and chase other children around, but I had not the slightest clue what a therian is. In fact, I had to google it today (as it turned out, it's not the same as furries at all, those I know) and seems to be some sort of spirituality thing. The kid must have come across it on some socials, and places like these get weird really really fast, so her contact to these people should be stopped immediately. If she's really interested in therianthropy, she can pick that up again when she's older and more experienced with life.

    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed that a 9 year old should be off the internet. The problem arises when classmates have access and/or friends have older siblings with access. Children talk. Parents don't. They think that handing a baby an iPad is perfectly good parenting -it isn't. It may not be the content that is disturbing but the ads that are and the ads for TikTok on other platforms expose kids to all kinds of weird sh!t.

    Load More Replies...
    Okiedokie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it is urgent that children be supervised and taught safe internet use. It’s past the point of banning them until a certain age, kids have to be taught individuality & self love and how to navigate that before anything else.

    Therian At Heart
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ITS NOT TTHE INTERNET, ITS NOT DANGEROUS, ITS SELF-EXPRESSION DUMB@SSES

    Load More Replies...
    Ruby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah honestly the thing I'm most worried about is the kid knowing about therians. I'm a furry myself, but I did not fully even know what it was until I was like 16. Before I knew what it was, I was just like "yeah anthro animals are cool and I like to draw them". When I got older I found out there was a community for it. It's normal kid logic to like that type of stuff. The therian community goes wayyy deeper then just acting like an animal (which is what most kids think it is). Let the kid play pretend, it's part of being a kid. But please be careful what type of stuff they come across on the internet.

    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You think therians are weird? One of my aunts (who died in her 20s) went through a phase when she thought she was a space shuttle.

    Load More Replies...
    Sage da therian
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok. I'm going to say a few things: -At that age, it most likely is a phase. -Yes, some people in the therian/furry community are predators. They are hated by everyone else. -The definition if a therian: Someone who identifies as an animal on a *non-physical* or spiritual level. We do not believe we are animals. She knows she is not an animal. -The best thing to do is let her be herself, because at this age she will most likely outgrow it. -There is a subreddit for therians, if you are confused on what to do, they are very helpful. - If she really is a therian, taking away internet will not do anything. Ultimately, it is a permanent part of who you are, and you cannot change it. This is not a new thing either!. If you have any questions, feel free to ask! ALSO: ZOOPH*LES ARE NOT THE SAME AS FURRIES/THERIANS! And not all furries are there for the ...wierd component. Most just like to cosplay as anthro animals and like having their own mascot, especially younger members of the furry community.

    AngelWingsYT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upvoting this to get it up higher as its informative and not condensending

    Load More Replies...
    UpupaEpops
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At that age, I was firmly convinced that if I injected myself with a bit of animal blood, I would be able to get some of their traits. So I was on a quest for cheetah blood to become the fastest runner in the world. In my defence, in our traditional stories, people can transform into animals by wearing their pelts but I didn't want to hurt them. My logic was that DNA gives you the traits you have, it can be found in blood so obviously you can just browse through the traits like you would in a book and pick the ones that you like. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Got to love kid logic.

    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To me your story seems more similar to what the kid is on about, than any furry stuff. It's normal at that age, especially if you have an overactive imagination or feel different from those around you. It's probably still a good idea to make sure she doesn't get trapped in some furry rabbit hole.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is just like any other group or identity your child shares with you. Take it seriously, don't assume you know what things mean, ask and believe her, and don't make more of it than it is. If you don't handle this in a way that shows you are listening and valuing what she tells you, she won't share the next time something important comes up. So it doesn't matter if it's a phase or not, your response should be the same.

    Mi So
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like what you said about not assuming you know what it means. More significantly, don’t assume they know what it means. Get them to explain it, get all on the same page of understanding. Kids often hear & start using words that they think they understand but don’t really, & end up using them incorrectly.

    Load More Replies...
    Vix Spiderthrust
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every nine-year-old boy wants to be a train driver. They aren't making life decisions at that age. Settle down.

    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like this is similar to that short time period where flash mob was being used as a term for spontaneous dance events, but also for spontaneous mob violence. Most kids around that age want/feel that they are something besides human or just really love animals. But doing an internet search brings up the adult version of this. The terms are crossing two very different things.

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meh, it's normal kid logic. It's a step in finding out who you are and what makes you special. It's the same as when kids dress up as batman, just with animals. It's probably like a game or something. "I'm a bunny" okay "Have a carrot".

    Anyone-for-tea?
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, today I found out what a therian is!

    Load More Comments
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