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Dad Promises His Daughter College Fund, Ends Up Spending All The Money On His Wedding, Is Offended After Daughter Cuts Ties With Him
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Dad Promises His Daughter College Fund, Ends Up Spending All The Money On His Wedding, Is Offended After Daughter Cuts Ties With Him

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Family is, hands down, one of the most important things in life – however, it just so happens that not everybody is fit for such a big role. 

Take this woman’s father, for instance. Everything went downhill after the divorce, and the OP never had the chance to develop a close relationship with him – plus, as the cherry on top, he also managed to promise his daughter a college fund which, as you might’ve guessed, turned out to be a blatant lie. 

More info: Reddit

Uninvolved father promises his daughter a college fund

Image credits: Nicole Michalou (not the actual photo) 

The woman later discovers he blew the money on his wedding ceremony

Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo) 

Image credits: Soner Görkem (not the actual photo) 

Image source: u/Collegefundbaby

AITA for telling my dad he’s not entitled to a relationship with me?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental and philosophical communities, asking its members if she’s indeed a jerk for clapping back at her uninvolved father who failed to fulfill a promise. The post managed to garner over 9K upvotes as well as 482 comments discussing the situation.

Being a parent is a hell of a job – everybody knows that. First things first, it’s a huge responsibility to raise and care for another human being; there will be times when you’ll feel like you’re losing control; you’ll have to sacrifice a lot, including your old life; there’ll be financial pressure and guilt; your sleep schedule will be all over the place; and don’t forget about them raging stress levels too – in short, it’s a full-on emotional rollercoaster. 

That’s why most folks who are eager to bring another human into this world take it all very seriously and plan things to the best of their ability before finally committing to the journey. But! Life is an unpredictable thing, and stuff doesn’t always go according to plan. 

Did you know that based on the 2020 report from the U.S. Census Bureau, 24.7 million children (or 33%) in the United States lived in fatherless homes? Families fall apart for a variety of reasons; at the end of the day, you only truly get to know your partner once you go through some hardships – however, no matter what situation caused the breakup, it’s never okay to leave your children behind. 

Growing up without a parent, be it mom or dad, definitely takes a toll on a kid’s emotional and psychological health. Depression, low self-esteem, commitment issues, unhealthy relationships, etc. – it’s not pretty; yet, what’s worse is knowing that your second parent is around but understanding that there’s no possibility of developing any kind of bond. 

When she questions him, he says that she’s not “entitled” to his money, provoking her to clap back

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio  (not the actual photo) 

The author of today’s post has a father who is not only uninvolved but also has turned out to be somewhat of a con man.

The man’s been cut out from the family since the OP was 10. Her mom won custody as she was able to prove that her ex was unfit for a dad role, and the guy has been bitter ever since. Every time the OP would visit him, his whole attention span would focus on video games and takeout unless her grandmother interfered and knocked some sense back into him.

Once the netizen got older, the man began mentioning a college fund he had allegedly set aside for her and promised the woman that the cash would be hers if she kept it up with her grades and whatnot.

Well, that’s exactly what the Redditor did. She was excellent in school, was a part of many clubs, and was always out of trouble! However, in her senior year, the so-called deadbeat dad tied the knot with his now-wife and had a grand wedding, the money for which he used from his daughter’s promised college fund.

Naturally, the truth was only disclosed later when the OP wondered about the fund. Needless to say, she was devastated – however, what made it all worse was her father’s reaction. The man didn’t apologize for essentially deceiving his own offspring, and when he realized that she was, in fact, incredibly upset, he dubbed her “selfish” and said that she was not entitled to his money.

Fortunately, the woman ended up getting a scholarship that covered her entire college tuition – plus, her mom and stepdad had also set some money aside.

Surprisingly enough, her dad did try to reconcile on numerous occasions, but each time he still made sure to push the narrative of how she’s not entitled to his money, essentially provoking the woman to snap back and tell him that he’s not entitled to a relationship with her either.

What is your take on this situation? Do you think the woman was out of line, or was she right to put her father in his place?

Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation

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terryltobias avatar
Terry Tobias
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was growing up, my father constantly told me that I was going to college because I was "the smartest one in the family". I, like the OP, got good grades, was involved in school activities, and didn't get into trouble. I was accepted into the college that I wanted to go to and was really looking forward to it, but my parents wanted me to work for a year before going. Anyway, one year later I was set to go, and just had my mandatory physical. Later that very day, my mother told me that they couldn't afford to send me. Evidently my father never saved for my education and didn't apply for any loans. I was devastated. He made good money at Kodak, but spent alot of it on non-essentials. It broke my heart. But...20 years later I put myself through university and graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in Psychology. I'm very proud of that and hope that others who have been in this situation realize that it's never too late!

appsfor72 avatar
Apps
Community Member
10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a similar story. Dad always said I was extremely smart and was going to "go places". We weren't rich, so I needed to apply for financial aid. I told my dad I needed his help and info for the application. He refused to fill out the forms. I told him I wasn't asking for any money from him or asking him to take out a loan. I just needed info so that i could apply for grants. He still said no. I had to live on my own for 5 years before I could apply again to college as an independent adult. I did it and I graduated in 3.5 years. Afterwards, I got a job in sales which led to a international sales position. So, in a way I did go places. I found out at a family reunion that my dad told everyone he was proud of me for making it without his help. I wasn't impressed and felt angry that he encouraged me and then made life harder then it had to be. Strangly, he told me he had to mow the lawn and was unavailable to watch me graduate. I think he was embarrassed, but who knows.

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catherinathijs avatar
SnackbarKaat
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To promise that to a child and then flagrantly deny/refuse/.. that's really breaking their trust in you forever

de-snoekies avatar
Alexandra
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look, I know you don't want to hear this, but cut your father loose. He will ALWAYS try to blame you or try to convince you that it was all in your mind. You have nothing to win by staying in contact. On the contrary, it will impact you negatively. Just try it for a while and find out what your father actually contributes to your well-being.

tomqwerty avatar
tom qwerty
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people stay in contact with toxic relations becuasethey feel they have to, its awful

Load More Replies...
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terryltobias avatar
Terry Tobias
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was growing up, my father constantly told me that I was going to college because I was "the smartest one in the family". I, like the OP, got good grades, was involved in school activities, and didn't get into trouble. I was accepted into the college that I wanted to go to and was really looking forward to it, but my parents wanted me to work for a year before going. Anyway, one year later I was set to go, and just had my mandatory physical. Later that very day, my mother told me that they couldn't afford to send me. Evidently my father never saved for my education and didn't apply for any loans. I was devastated. He made good money at Kodak, but spent alot of it on non-essentials. It broke my heart. But...20 years later I put myself through university and graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in Psychology. I'm very proud of that and hope that others who have been in this situation realize that it's never too late!

appsfor72 avatar
Apps
Community Member
10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a similar story. Dad always said I was extremely smart and was going to "go places". We weren't rich, so I needed to apply for financial aid. I told my dad I needed his help and info for the application. He refused to fill out the forms. I told him I wasn't asking for any money from him or asking him to take out a loan. I just needed info so that i could apply for grants. He still said no. I had to live on my own for 5 years before I could apply again to college as an independent adult. I did it and I graduated in 3.5 years. Afterwards, I got a job in sales which led to a international sales position. So, in a way I did go places. I found out at a family reunion that my dad told everyone he was proud of me for making it without his help. I wasn't impressed and felt angry that he encouraged me and then made life harder then it had to be. Strangly, he told me he had to mow the lawn and was unavailable to watch me graduate. I think he was embarrassed, but who knows.

Load More Replies...
catherinathijs avatar
SnackbarKaat
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To promise that to a child and then flagrantly deny/refuse/.. that's really breaking their trust in you forever

de-snoekies avatar
Alexandra
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look, I know you don't want to hear this, but cut your father loose. He will ALWAYS try to blame you or try to convince you that it was all in your mind. You have nothing to win by staying in contact. On the contrary, it will impact you negatively. Just try it for a while and find out what your father actually contributes to your well-being.

tomqwerty avatar
tom qwerty
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people stay in contact with toxic relations becuasethey feel they have to, its awful

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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