Guy Decides To Put His Foot Down, Shuts Off Dad’s Security Cameras Despite His Displeasure
InterviewFeeling like you’re constantly monitored is not a fun state to be in, whether it’s CCTV cameras or your dog closely watching your every move in the kitchen.
That’s why this netizen didn’t feel like having the security cameras on when he was visiting the family’s vacation home. But his elderly dad wanted them on whenever he wasn’t there with the family, which made his son wonder if turning them off would make him a jerk.
Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with the OP himself, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.
Cameras can make some people seriously uncomfortable
Image credits: DragonImages / envato (not the actual photo)
This man didn’t like being monitored through the security cameras on the family’s vacation house
Image credits: lucigerma / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: squasha4416
“It feels like I am constantly being judged or critiqued,” the netizen told Bored Panda
Talking to Bored Panda, the OP shared that the main issue was less about privacy—though that’s, according to him, how the original post was framed—but more about opening himself up to criticism.
“Dad has very specific ways he wants chores done, how the house gets ‘opened’ and ‘closed,’ how often and how short the grass gets mowed, whether we are wearing enough tick-proof clothing, whether the dog is chasing away the wildlife, and so on,” the redditor said. “So while I am down there and he comments on those things (making it clear that he is watching us, even though he says he doesn’t), it puts me on edge. It feels like I am constantly being judged or critiqued.”
Though, there were some issues related to privacy, too, especially regarding private conversations. “The two cameras are located on the main porch and with the windows being open all the time when we are there, the cameras easily pick up conversations both inside and outside. My wife and I say things all the time that I wouldn’t want anyone in my family to hear so turning off the camera mics is not up for debate.”
Talking about reasons why he prefers to have the cameras off, the netizen gave one example, making his point quite clear. “It’s just one example, but even now when he is down there, my father still skinny dips in the nearby pond, never having had to worry about being spied on by his own father when he was my age. While I don’t personally participate in his uninhibited indulgences, I still don’t see why I have to worry about him watching me or my wife doing whatever it is we do. But again, the primary issue is that the cameras open me up to commentary and disapproval.”
Many people value privacy and don’t want to be monitored without their permission
Many of us likely know the feeling of being stared at. Somehow, even without looking directly into the other person’s eyes, we can tell that they have their gaze set on us. (Studies suggest that our brains are wired for gaze perception, and the mechanism that detects eyes and shifts our attention towards them is believed to be innate.)
Well, many people experience a similar sensation when being monitored by a device. You might not be certain that it’s set on you, but you can feel that someone’s watching. Needless to say, the feeling can be quite an awkward one.
People value their privacy, so it’s no surprise that someone watching their every step can be uncomfortable, especially when they haven’t agreed to it. According to the Pew Research Center, people do not wish to be observed without their approval. The center’s data found that nearly nine in ten Americans say it is important that they not have someone watch or listen to them without their permission.
The aforementioned source also reveals that people dislike being surveilled in their personal lives and at work. More than half of respondents say it’s important or very important for them not to be monitored at work. Though many employees are monitored, according to data released in 2022, as much as 60% of workers believed that they have been subject to some form of surveillance and monitoring at their current or most recent jobs.
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Millions of homes nowadays have video surveillance devices installed on them
Being constantly monitored can understandably make people want to run away from any surveillance equipment when they have the chance. However, sometimes, having it installed in their home—even if only pointing to the exterior—can really come in handy. Studies suggest that surveillance cameras seem to play a significant role in crime prevention in urban environments.
“From an international perspective, there are studies in a credible way measuring the effects of surveillance cameras,” economist Mikael Priks told the SNS, Center for Business and Policy Studies in Sweden. “According to these studies, cameras tend to reduce the number of reported crimes in urban environments by about 20–25 percent.”
Bearing in mind that video surveillance can increase the security of one’s home, it’s no surprise that many people choose to equip their dwellings with all sorts of cameras. According to Ruby Home, roughly 51 million households in the US have a video surveillance system. As much as 37% of homes have a video doorbell, at least. In total, more than 70% of households in the US have at least one home security device installed.
It’s not only the lack of privacy or being constantly monitored that bothers the homeowner’s son
The OP’s father, too, had security devices installed in his vacation home. However, they weren’t there for security purposes only. The dad would also use them to watch how his family members would spend their time, which might not sound like a big deal, but for the OP, that meant being constantly monitored.
“Dad is very particular about how people treat, live, and behave at the house. Sure, there is clearly pleasure derived out of seeing family members—especially children—enjoying the old family vacation home. What father or grandfather wouldn’t want to watch his kids and grandkids enjoying themselves in the summer sun? But it’s never ‘Hey, looked like you were having fun playing frisbee with the dog’ or ‘I gather everyone liked the food at the BBQ this afternoon.’ It’s always ‘I trust your dog isn’t ruining the grass while running around’ or ‘If you use the BBQ, make sure it isn’t close to any dry leaves…’ So it’s really the commentary that the cameras invite that grinds my gears,” the redditor told Bored Panda.
He continued to share that since posting about the situation, it seemingly took a turn for the worse, as due to certain changes regarding camera use, the OP acquired the role of technical support. “Before, my dad was always able to just call up a single bookmarked URL to watch the cameras. But since Google made those no longer available, he now has HUGE problems trying to access the cameras,” he explained.
“He says watching the video on a phone app is too small to see, so he insists on using a browser. Unfortunately, he has no understanding of Google accounts—specifically, switching between them—so now he is constantly contacting me to help him. Just last week I was on vacation with my in-laws and he sent me no less than 11 emails with screenshots showing me all the various errors he was getting. (All self-inflicted, with typos in the URL, switching to the wrong account, and misuse of his password manager.) I am certain he is frantically trying to get access to the cameras before my sister heads to the vacation house with her family next week.
“So not only do I have to endure critique and commentary while I am at the vacation home, I am treated like technical support to help him access the very cameras as the center of the issue,” the netizen shared.
The man provided more details in the comments
Some netizens didn’t think turning the cameras off would make the OP a jerk
Some, however, shared a different opinion
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
The YTAs are crazy. Would they object if one of the cameras was in the bedroom or bathroom? No matter whose property it is, if you are using it, you have an expectation of privacy. If you want to be nice, you can point the cameras where he can see the nature, but not the people staying there.
Agreed. It's really easy for them to scream YTA when they are not the ones being spied on.
Load More Replies...The simple solution is move the cameras to nature facing areas and schedule a facetime while there. I'd never be able to relax knowing I was always on camera somewhere, it's a gross violation of privacy.
Turn off the cameras but make an appointment to FaceTime with him everyday you are there. Walk him through what you are doing and walk around the property so you take dad along.
I love my privacy, there's no way I would ever be able to relax with cameras watching me, let alone my own dad watching me through them (and no, me liking privacy doesn't mean I'm doing things I don't want him to see, why do people always think that)
My sister has covered every room of our childhood home with cameras. There are also 4 cameras that look out over the front yard/street area and two cameras that look over the backyard. I live next door; my mother and sister still live in my childhood home. Whenever I go over to help run the family business when they're on vacation, I'm painfully aware that my sister could be watching the camera at any moment. I don't do anything stupid or bad, but it's definitely grating and wearing on one's psyche to know that "Big Brother" (in my case, Big Sister) could be watching any time. With people like my sister (and OP's dad), logic will NEVER win. You will never convince them to turn off the cameras for your sanity. They NEED to have them on. What if something HAPPENS?, etc. I don't argue with my sister any more about them - there is no getting through to her. She has her little domain that she can survey at any time.
I don't think I would offer to help the family business if that were the situation. I would make it a requirement to go into the house - all cameras inside get switched off immediately. The level of paranoia / desire for control must be off the chart to have so many cameras in the house. Someone who does that is not good for anyone else's mental health.
Load More Replies...I can think of two main reasons why the father wants the cameras on. The first is he is lonely and wants to be there with the family. The second is he's nosy/paranoid, and wants to check up on what's going one. If it's the first, then have a video chat whilst using the place. Take the old man on a virtual tour of the property. Let him know what you've enjoyed doing, and the changes that have been spotted. Include him. If it's the second option - good luck and very best wishes.
Stop going, or only make brief maintenance visits, and tell him why. He can voyeur when he's dead, like the rest of us. (But keep up your obligations re taxes & etc)
Very simple. Turn the cameras off when you go outside. I do this with mine as it would keep sending to alerts to my phone when I'm cleaning the car for example. Doesn't say whether the cameras also record audio, but if they do, then that is a massive invasion of privacy.
So it's not a massive invasion of privacy if they don't record audio?
Load More Replies...Maybe I'm just old, but Idgaf about outside cameras. There are cameras everywhere and as long as they are on the exterior, I don't see the issue. It's a cabin, not a beach where people are walking around in bathing suits (if there is a hot tub or sunning lounge, maybe move the camera 🤷♂️). I am disabled and on my way to being bedridden... seeing our birdhouse camera is one of my joys outside. When that becomes conditional, you lose another feeling of freedom. NAH
The YTAs are crazy. Would they object if one of the cameras was in the bedroom or bathroom? No matter whose property it is, if you are using it, you have an expectation of privacy. If you want to be nice, you can point the cameras where he can see the nature, but not the people staying there.
Agreed. It's really easy for them to scream YTA when they are not the ones being spied on.
Load More Replies...The simple solution is move the cameras to nature facing areas and schedule a facetime while there. I'd never be able to relax knowing I was always on camera somewhere, it's a gross violation of privacy.
Turn off the cameras but make an appointment to FaceTime with him everyday you are there. Walk him through what you are doing and walk around the property so you take dad along.
I love my privacy, there's no way I would ever be able to relax with cameras watching me, let alone my own dad watching me through them (and no, me liking privacy doesn't mean I'm doing things I don't want him to see, why do people always think that)
My sister has covered every room of our childhood home with cameras. There are also 4 cameras that look out over the front yard/street area and two cameras that look over the backyard. I live next door; my mother and sister still live in my childhood home. Whenever I go over to help run the family business when they're on vacation, I'm painfully aware that my sister could be watching the camera at any moment. I don't do anything stupid or bad, but it's definitely grating and wearing on one's psyche to know that "Big Brother" (in my case, Big Sister) could be watching any time. With people like my sister (and OP's dad), logic will NEVER win. You will never convince them to turn off the cameras for your sanity. They NEED to have them on. What if something HAPPENS?, etc. I don't argue with my sister any more about them - there is no getting through to her. She has her little domain that she can survey at any time.
I don't think I would offer to help the family business if that were the situation. I would make it a requirement to go into the house - all cameras inside get switched off immediately. The level of paranoia / desire for control must be off the chart to have so many cameras in the house. Someone who does that is not good for anyone else's mental health.
Load More Replies...I can think of two main reasons why the father wants the cameras on. The first is he is lonely and wants to be there with the family. The second is he's nosy/paranoid, and wants to check up on what's going one. If it's the first, then have a video chat whilst using the place. Take the old man on a virtual tour of the property. Let him know what you've enjoyed doing, and the changes that have been spotted. Include him. If it's the second option - good luck and very best wishes.
Stop going, or only make brief maintenance visits, and tell him why. He can voyeur when he's dead, like the rest of us. (But keep up your obligations re taxes & etc)
Very simple. Turn the cameras off when you go outside. I do this with mine as it would keep sending to alerts to my phone when I'm cleaning the car for example. Doesn't say whether the cameras also record audio, but if they do, then that is a massive invasion of privacy.
So it's not a massive invasion of privacy if they don't record audio?
Load More Replies...Maybe I'm just old, but Idgaf about outside cameras. There are cameras everywhere and as long as they are on the exterior, I don't see the issue. It's a cabin, not a beach where people are walking around in bathing suits (if there is a hot tub or sunning lounge, maybe move the camera 🤷♂️). I am disabled and on my way to being bedridden... seeing our birdhouse camera is one of my joys outside. When that becomes conditional, you lose another feeling of freedom. NAH



































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