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Not all marriages are created equal. Some end up being the fairy tale that many people envision. On the opposite end of the spectrum is a match made in hell, which needs no further explanation.
The involvement of children makes the situation more excruciating to endure, as this man had experienced. After going through a messy episode with his ex-wife and two kids, he had no choice but to distance himself from all of them.
Scroll through for this rollercoaster for a story, which can be quite a read.
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A man may have gone through the worst episode of his life, thanks to his ex-wife and children
Man sitting on bed holding a pillow, appearing distressed in a bright room with sunlight through sheer curtains.
Family estrangements are often drawn out and triggered by a “final straw”
It’s never easy for anyone to cut ties with a family member, regardless of how toxic the relationship can get. Based on his account, the man appears to be a dedicated father who was forced to make a drastic decision for his own sake.
In the same interview, clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten described the final straw moment as an “emphatic rupture.” It’s the realization that the problematic situation may never be resolved because of the belief that the person may never change.
In the story’s case, that moment could be when the children repeatedly made false yet serious allegations against their father, which apparently happened for two straight years.
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What makes the situation more challenging for the author is the blame and shame he may endure for deciding to distance himself from his family.
“Parents who have initiated estrangement have very few [people] they can talk to who will show compassion and understanding,” University of West England lecturer Dr. Lucy Blake told the BBC in a 2022 interview.
Estrangements aren’t always final, and reconciliation is deemed common among parents and children in conflict. However, trying to mend things may not work, especially if the relationship has done more harm than good.
“People should not be made to feel guilty or ashamed because it is critical for their mental health to exclude a family member from their life,” Cornell University professor Dr. Karl Pillemer said in the same APA interview.
After what he went through, keeping distance may be the best solution for the author. If he is open to reconciliation, he can entertain the idea as his children grow older and become more aware of the damage their actions have caused.
The man provided more information in the comments
Reddit discussion about a dad accused by his kids, sharing how his life and trust in law enforcement fell apart.
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Screenshot of a Reddit conversation where a dad shares how his life fell apart after being accused of horrific things by his kids.
A few people sided with him, as some shared their advice
Comment discussing a dad accused of horrific things by his own kids, questioning family dynamics and legal options.
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Reddit comment discussing a dad accused of horrific things by his own kids and the impact on his life.
Comment advising a dad accused by his kids to seek court support and supervised visitation to protect himself.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing a dad accused of horrific things by his kids and how it impacted his life.
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Comment discussing custody agreements and court-ordered therapy for a daughter amid a dad accused by his own kids.
Screenshot of a forum comment with advice on dealing with accusations from kids and family legal actions.
The man provided an update
Upset woman crying and stressed in living room while a man sits distant, illustrating a dad accused by his own kids.
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If the story is true, it raises a few questions. When a 9-year-old and a 7-year-old make such accusations, it means there is something going on. It is possible that they were incited by their mother or acquaintances. It is possible that the father is hiding something. (Perhaps he is quite gruff and strict in his manner but does not realize it himself? Perhaps he has a personality disorder?) It is possible that the children have consumed media that has led them to this. It's quite possible that it's a combination of all of these factors and more. That's why I think a thorough psychiatric evaluation of the children and adults would be necessary.
It would be important to clarify why the children made such accusations.
Why was the ex put out on the street with the children? (Did I overlook that?) I mean, hardly anyone would do something like that without good reason, right?
And what is going on in the family that they don't talk to each other?
Questions upon questions.
If the story is true, it raises a few questions. When a 9-year-old and a 7-year-old make such accusations, it means there is something going on. It is possible that they were incited by their mother or acquaintances. It is possible that the father is hiding something. (Perhaps he is quite gruff and strict in his manner but does not realize it himself? Perhaps he has a personality disorder?) It is possible that the children have consumed media that has led them to this. It's quite possible that it's a combination of all of these factors and more. That's why I think a thorough psychiatric evaluation of the children and adults would be necessary.
It would be important to clarify why the children made such accusations.
Why was the ex put out on the street with the children? (Did I overlook that?) I mean, hardly anyone would do something like that without good reason, right?
And what is going on in the family that they don't talk to each other?
Questions upon questions.
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