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“Hell No”: Friend’s Ridiculous Wedding Expectations Make People Opt Out Quick
Guests serving salad at a buffet table, highlighting wedding expectations causing people to opt out quickly.

“Hell No”: Friend’s Ridiculous Wedding Expectations Make People Opt Out Quick

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Destination weddings may be expensive to attend, but at the very least, guests usually expect them to be worth the trip. After all, you get to spend a day celebrating the bride and groom, enjoying the festivities, and hopefully making some lovely memories along the way. What you don’t expect is to be put to work.

One couple, however, had a very different idea. They invited guests to stay at a location that cost $300 a night, then also asked them to cook for themselves throughout the entire stay. One friend was not happy about the arrangement and shared her thoughts on Reddit.

Read the full story below, as well as our conversation with Jhona Yellin, Editor at Bespoke Bride.

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    The woman was invited to attend a friend’s wedding at a remote resort

    Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    But when she found out that guests were expected to cook for themselves and help prepare food for the celebration, she was not happy

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    Image credits: Racool_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: ICanToteIt91

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    The woman later shared a few more details in the comments

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    Image credits: Esperanza Doronila / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Food and drinks often make up a big part of a couple’s wedding budget

    Your wedding day can easily be one of the most expensive days of your life. In fact, the average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2023 was a whopping $35,000, The Knot reports. And unsurprisingly, a large chunk of that often goes toward food. After all, one of the easiest ways to keep wedding guests happy is to make sure they’re well fed.

    According to The Knot, couples typically spend about $85 per wedding guest on catering. So if a wedding has around 50 guests, keeping everyone’s stomachs full might cost about $4,250. And that’s without considering alcohol, which couples tend to spend about $2,800 on.

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    In general, 62% of engaged couples say that food and drinks are the most important thing to them when planning their weddings. Three quarters of couples also want to make sure their guests are well taken care of and enjoy their experience, so great catering is often an important part of the celebration.

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    But even though the couple is responsible for organizing the event, guests often have to spend quite a bit to attend a wedding, too. From buying a gift and finding the perfect outfit to traveling to the venue and booking a hotel, a weekend spent celebrating a close friend can quickly run into hundreds. Apparently, the average price of attending a wedding in 2023 was $580 per guest.

    Image credits: wirestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    “The important thing is making sure guests feel comfortable and appreciated, not burdened”

    To learn more about what options couples have in situations like this one, we reached out to wedding expert Jhona Yellin, Editor at Bespoke Bride. Jhona was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss whether or not it’s fair to ask something like this of wedding guests.

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    “On one hand, asking guests to stay at a specific resort can simplify the logistics of a wedding, making it easier to bring everyone together. It creates a cozy vibe, and the sense of togetherness can be wonderful—like a little village of people who all mean something to you, there to celebrate your BIG day,” the editor said.

    “However, not everyone has the same budget, so a pricey resort could alienate guests who might already be stretching their wallets just to attend. If a single accommodation option is a must, it’s considerate for the couple to either chip in to cover costs or, at the very least, offer a range of affordable alternatives nearby,” Jhona continued.

    “The important thing is making sure guests feel comfortable and appreciated, not burdened. We covered a beautiful wedding at a resort in Mexico, where the couple and their guests probably had similar issues.”

    Next, we wanted to hear the expert’s thoughts on having wedding guests help out in the kitchen. “[This idea] may sound endearing, but it’s a plan with potential for serious chaos. Between timing, dietary needs, and the reality of preparing meals for a large group, things can quickly go from charming to stressful,” she told Bored Panda.

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    “Some of the best weddings are those where the food is unique and thoughtful, rather than fancy”

    “Instead, hiring a unique catering option can keep the spirit of fun without the kitchen disasters. Food trucks, for instance, offer variety and a relaxed vibe, from gourmet tacos to wood-fired pizzas. Or, consider a specialized vendor, like a dessert truck or a charcuterie service, which adds personality and keeps things easy on the budget,” the editor suggested.

    “This way, guests can enjoy memorable bites without anyone burning out (or burning dinner). If you’re looking for more inspo, read our post about unique wedding catering ideas.”

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    Jhona also says that it’s absolutely possible for couples on tight budgets to keep their guests full and happy. “Buffet-style meals, food trucks as I mentioned above, or family-style sharing platters are affordable and create a communal feel,” she shared.

    “Alternatively, serving hearty appetizers or grazing boards instead of a full dinner is a stylish way to ensure everyone’s well-fed without breaking the bank. Some of the best weddings are those where the food is unique and thoughtful, rather than fancy. If you plan to DIY your wedding catering—read this.”

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    We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it’s reasonable for this couple to expect their guests to cook all of the food for their wedding? Feel free to share your take.

    Many readers were appalled by what the bride and groom had planned

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    Some even chimed in with similar experiences of their own

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past six years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

    Read less »
    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past six years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

    Read less »

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

    What do you think ?
    JellyBean
    Community Member
    47 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So aside from the ridiculousness OP points out... how is this being co-ordinated? 40-60 people cooking in cabin kitchens is surely just going to result in each group just cooking for themselves? If not, it will require a lot of co-ordination and who's going to organise and stay on top of all of that? I'd nope out immediately

    JellyBean
    Community Member
    47 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So aside from the ridiculousness OP points out... how is this being co-ordinated? 40-60 people cooking in cabin kitchens is surely just going to result in each group just cooking for themselves? If not, it will require a lot of co-ordination and who's going to organise and stay on top of all of that? I'd nope out immediately

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