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GF Is Very Particular About How Her Coffee’s Prepared, BF Who Makes It For Her Daily Loses It
As someone who is an avid coffee drinker (or more like an addict), I can totally understand the need to have that perfect cup in the morning. However, if someone got it ready for me, and all I had to do was sip and enjoy it, I’d be eternally grateful to that person.
That’s not the case with the original poster’s (OP) girlfriend, who is so picky that she criticizes him if he doesn’t make the coffee exactly how she wants it. One day, she literally dumped it all because it wasn’t perfect, so Reddit user No_Reputation1738 just snapped at her!
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Sometimes, people take their partners for granted and try to micromanage things about them
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster and his girlfriend have been living together for 6 months, and every day he wakes up early and makes her coffee
Image credits: No_Reputation1738
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Recently, she started getting particular about how she wants her coffee, and he tries to oblige, but she keeps criticizing his attention to every tiny detail
Image credits: No_Reputation1738
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Once, she even dumped the coffee he made and did it herself, so he just snapped and said he wouldn’t do it anymore
Image credits: No_Reputation1738
This annoyed her, and she called him “lazy” all because she felt he always made it the “wrong” way
In today’s story, we dive right into a couple conflict that is troubling our poster, all over coffee. What happened is that OP has been with his girlfriend for 2 years, while they have been living together for 6 months. They have a lovely routine where he wakes up early and makes her coffee so she wakes up to a nice, hot cup (aww!).
Now, the conflict started arising because of how she has started to be particular about the coffee-making method. She insists on strictly following every detail, like measuring the grounds, warming the cup, adding milk, and all that jazz. Well, being the good samaritan that he is, OP tried to listen to her demands, but then it got so annoying that she grilled him every time whether he had done it right.
Even if one tiny thing is wrong, she makes a big deal out of it as it’s not the “right way,” and once, she literally dumped it all and made it herself while ranting on how he messed it up! That was probably the last straw for OP, who got frustrated and snapped that she could then make her own coffee as he always gets it wrong.
Well, Miss Perfect was upset by this and claimed that since she likes her coffee a certain way, her boyfriend should respect it. He replied that he was respecting it, but he didn’t like how she micromanaged the way he made coffee and constantly criticized him for it. She just labeled him lazy and unaccommodating, so he is feeling guilty now and vented online.
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Netizens immediately sided with him because the poor fellow was being so loving and thoughtful by trying to make the coffee just the way she wanted. They were quick to judge her for being so picky and not even thanking him once for making so much effort, but just criticizing and micromanaging him.
It has been observed that when a person is micromanaged by a partner, it can create resentment in the relationship, while the victim of this micromanagement can experience increased anxiety, depression, and even trauma. In fact, if left unchecked, micromanaging harms intimacy, leads to arguments, and depletes the relationship.
Psychology Today claims, “If you are growing increasingly annoyed with your partner’s micromanagement, give them a clear warning that it may be pushing you away. Too many people hold their feelings in and then explode.”
Well, it’s no wonder that our poster just snapped at her one day when she dumped the coffee he made. Looks like he had been holding it in for so many days when he should have told her how he felt about her micromanagement and criticism. However, folks said that the girlfriend should not have criticized him in the first place; rather, she should be grateful.
A few also commented that no matter how terrible the coffee, if their partner made it so lovingly, they would quietly accept it. What would you do? Also, what advice would you like to give the poster? Let us know in the comments below!
Netizens were baffled by her micromanaging and felt that she should actually be grateful to him for making such an effort
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What do you think ?
Ace 8 months ago
That last comment touches a nerve. One of the nicest things was to wake up to a cup of coffee after my (also late) wife had got up. Yeah, sometimes there was too much or too little sugar, big deal.
Sarah Jan Kelly 8 months ago
I mean for me, having too much sugar would absolutely ruin the coffee experience. But I would just add the sugar myself if I needed to!
Load More Replies...
Nina 8 months ago
OP updated in a comment a day later that they broke up. Seems like a good conclusion to me.
BeesEelsAndPups 8 months ago
This is the best decision. I stayed in a marriage like this for ten years. I never once got a thank you, it was always a list of what I was doing wrong. It got to the point I believed I was worthless and tried to end my own life. Divorced two years now and never been happier. Dating a woman who appreciates the efforts I make.
Load More Replies...
Vinnie 8 months ago (edited)
Not only is the girlfriend a massive fussbudget, she takes it waaaay too seriously. I've sometimes micromanaged how much oil my hubby dumps in the frying pan. Bless him, he takes it with good humour and it's become a bit of a running joke ("It's not a farking swimming pool!" "It's okay, I'm a certified lifeguard."). The OP's neurotic nitpicker needs to lighten up or make her own dang coffee.
liam newton-harding 8 months ago
Sounds like she saw, or read some article about, “testing” your boyfriend…and found out just how far she could push him…right out the door.
Thanos'Fingers 8 months ago
Why does it sound like that? Maybe she was just pushy and a little rude
Load More Replies...
GirlFriday 8 months ago
I set the time on my coffee maker to start when my alarm goes off. On the mornings that I am working from home, my partner will have me a cup of coffee ready and sometimes bring it to me in bed if I am being a little lazy that morning. Is it always 100% perfect? No. But it is the nicest thing to have a hot cup of coffee either in bed or on the counter when I get out of the shower, and I will drink it and appreciate it no matter what. He went out of his way to do something nice for me, and for that I am grateful.
Historyherstory (old guy) 8 months ago
Looking a gift horse in the mouth. Make me coffee in the morning....yep, instant gratitude. Don't care if you used kitty litter for coffee grounds...okay, small exaggeration
JayWantsACat 8 months ago
Wow, he's lazy and unaccommodating for not wanting to put with her being an ahole because her coffee isn't perfect? lmao
R Dennis 8 months ago
I was a manager at a quick-serve restaurant in another life. We had this teen (The Kid) who always sent back his smoothie. I made it once and he didn't send it back. From then on, if The Kid showed up, he asked if I was there and if I could make his smoothie. He had Asperger's, so he was just hyper focused on it.
Zaach 8 months ago
Back in the before times I ran a Starbucks coffee co-op from my apartment (named: Giant Rat of Sumatra coop). I had a hand grinder and ground my own - everything she wanted was worthless b/c just walking from the kitchen would negate all her precious demands. Every once in a while one of my old customers would see me on the street and yell "look, its the Rat". I also sold guittard chocolate - I was the local dealer for a bunch of kids, pounding out the chocolate (even gave free samples to a new customer)
Wysteria_Rose 8 months ago
My husband doesn't always make me my cup, but when he does, I smile and say thanks and drink it without complaints. Sometimes there's a LOT of creamer than I usually put, but he did not have to make it for me.
Deta Rossiter 8 months ago
my coffee does not even come out exactly the same way, cup after cup. Sometimes it is like d**n, that is just perfect, then weeks go by, and it is never EXACTLY the same. you tried, she was not happy, now it is DIY
Sue Ellen Bowen 8 months ago
You can only be told you're doing something wrong so many times before you just give up. If she's that picky she needs to make her own coffee.
SirWriteALot 8 months ago
If an act of generosity is treated as a given then I stop doing it. I'm more than happy to do something nice if someone appreciates it.
Lily 8 months ago
That’s her ritual, not yours. If she got coffe at a shop they’d toss her out for complaining. She either makes er own or shuts up. Period. No guilt, shes a controller. But just a heads up for the future, there’s a bridezilla there, uncompromising is a really annoying character flaw.
Carrie Laughs 8 months ago
My husband brings me tea and toast every morning - I hurt and also have sleep inertia, so getting up isn't easy. Sometimes the tea isn't warm enough, sometimes the toast isn't hot or it might be a smaller slice and not quite enough. Guess what? I don't complain, ever. He's doing me a big favour (he's not a morning person either, just better at it than me!) and I seriously appreciate it.
Romy Rösli 8 months ago
So much ado about coffee. I hate coffee and I don’t even know how to use our coffee machine because I never make anyone a coffee, this is my partner’s chore. That said I know of course that many people love this awful drink. I can be picky about certain foods, but I don’t make it other people’s problem. I appreciate people’s efforts and if I don’t like what someone serves I suck it up. I even drank coffee twice because I didn’t want to disappoint the host.
Binky Melnik 8 months ago
I’ve believed for decades I’m the only one on earth who can’t stand coffee. (I’m pretty sure it comes from getting enough of it in the womb, as my mom drank three pots a day, that last pot right before bed.) Still, if someone went to a lotta bother and made me a cup, I’d prolly drink it and smile the entire time just because I’d be grateful they did something nice for me. (I’d prolly also say that while I don’t drink coffee, they sure made it sooo nice that I was reconsidering not drinking it, something like that, just to make ‘em feel good.) Whenever *anyone* does something nice for us, we ALWAYS show gratitude because doing nice things is ALWAYS appreciated. I wanna smack this b***h I don’t even know for being an ungrateful, demanding аsshole.
Load More Replies...
Ace 8 months ago
That last comment touches a nerve. One of the nicest things was to wake up to a cup of coffee after my (also late) wife had got up. Yeah, sometimes there was too much or too little sugar, big deal.
Sarah Jan Kelly 8 months ago
I mean for me, having too much sugar would absolutely ruin the coffee experience. But I would just add the sugar myself if I needed to!
Load More Replies... Nina 8 months ago
OP updated in a comment a day later that they broke up. Seems like a good conclusion to me.
BeesEelsAndPups 8 months ago
This is the best decision. I stayed in a marriage like this for ten years. I never once got a thank you, it was always a list of what I was doing wrong. It got to the point I believed I was worthless and tried to end my own life. Divorced two years now and never been happier. Dating a woman who appreciates the efforts I make.
Load More Replies... Vinnie 8 months ago (edited)
Not only is the girlfriend a massive fussbudget, she takes it waaaay too seriously. I've sometimes micromanaged how much oil my hubby dumps in the frying pan. Bless him, he takes it with good humour and it's become a bit of a running joke ("It's not a farking swimming pool!" "It's okay, I'm a certified lifeguard."). The OP's neurotic nitpicker needs to lighten up or make her own dang coffee.
liam newton-harding 8 months ago
Sounds like she saw, or read some article about, “testing” your boyfriend…and found out just how far she could push him…right out the door.
Thanos'Fingers 8 months ago
Why does it sound like that? Maybe she was just pushy and a little rude
Load More Replies... GirlFriday 8 months ago
I set the time on my coffee maker to start when my alarm goes off. On the mornings that I am working from home, my partner will have me a cup of coffee ready and sometimes bring it to me in bed if I am being a little lazy that morning. Is it always 100% perfect? No. But it is the nicest thing to have a hot cup of coffee either in bed or on the counter when I get out of the shower, and I will drink it and appreciate it no matter what. He went out of his way to do something nice for me, and for that I am grateful.
Historyherstory (old guy) 8 months ago
Looking a gift horse in the mouth. Make me coffee in the morning....yep, instant gratitude. Don't care if you used kitty litter for coffee grounds...okay, small exaggeration
JayWantsACat 8 months ago
Wow, he's lazy and unaccommodating for not wanting to put with her being an ahole because her coffee isn't perfect? lmao
R Dennis 8 months ago
I was a manager at a quick-serve restaurant in another life. We had this teen (The Kid) who always sent back his smoothie. I made it once and he didn't send it back. From then on, if The Kid showed up, he asked if I was there and if I could make his smoothie. He had Asperger's, so he was just hyper focused on it.
Zaach 8 months ago
Back in the before times I ran a Starbucks coffee co-op from my apartment (named: Giant Rat of Sumatra coop). I had a hand grinder and ground my own - everything she wanted was worthless b/c just walking from the kitchen would negate all her precious demands. Every once in a while one of my old customers would see me on the street and yell "look, its the Rat". I also sold guittard chocolate - I was the local dealer for a bunch of kids, pounding out the chocolate (even gave free samples to a new customer)
Wysteria_Rose 8 months ago
My husband doesn't always make me my cup, but when he does, I smile and say thanks and drink it without complaints. Sometimes there's a LOT of creamer than I usually put, but he did not have to make it for me.
Deta Rossiter 8 months ago
my coffee does not even come out exactly the same way, cup after cup. Sometimes it is like d**n, that is just perfect, then weeks go by, and it is never EXACTLY the same. you tried, she was not happy, now it is DIY
Sue Ellen Bowen 8 months ago
You can only be told you're doing something wrong so many times before you just give up. If she's that picky she needs to make her own coffee.
SirWriteALot 8 months ago
If an act of generosity is treated as a given then I stop doing it. I'm more than happy to do something nice if someone appreciates it.
Lily 8 months ago
That’s her ritual, not yours. If she got coffe at a shop they’d toss her out for complaining. She either makes er own or shuts up. Period. No guilt, shes a controller. But just a heads up for the future, there’s a bridezilla there, uncompromising is a really annoying character flaw.
Carrie Laughs 8 months ago
My husband brings me tea and toast every morning - I hurt and also have sleep inertia, so getting up isn't easy. Sometimes the tea isn't warm enough, sometimes the toast isn't hot or it might be a smaller slice and not quite enough. Guess what? I don't complain, ever. He's doing me a big favour (he's not a morning person either, just better at it than me!) and I seriously appreciate it.
Romy Rösli 8 months ago
So much ado about coffee. I hate coffee and I don’t even know how to use our coffee machine because I never make anyone a coffee, this is my partner’s chore. That said I know of course that many people love this awful drink. I can be picky about certain foods, but I don’t make it other people’s problem. I appreciate people’s efforts and if I don’t like what someone serves I suck it up. I even drank coffee twice because I didn’t want to disappoint the host.
Binky Melnik 8 months ago
I’ve believed for decades I’m the only one on earth who can’t stand coffee. (I’m pretty sure it comes from getting enough of it in the womb, as my mom drank three pots a day, that last pot right before bed.) Still, if someone went to a lotta bother and made me a cup, I’d prolly drink it and smile the entire time just because I’d be grateful they did something nice for me. (I’d prolly also say that while I don’t drink coffee, they sure made it sooo nice that I was reconsidering not drinking it, something like that, just to make ‘em feel good.) Whenever *anyone* does something nice for us, we ALWAYS show gratitude because doing nice things is ALWAYS appreciated. I wanna smack this b***h I don’t even know for being an ungrateful, demanding аsshole.
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