I'm a professional driver in a city full of people who are on par with baboons on illegal substances for the average quality of commuter. I see all kinds of stuff.

But the #1 "Are you kidding me?" in traffic I think was when I saw a guy on the freeway (3 lanes on our side) pull over onto the left shoulder, proceed to go into reverse and **slowly crawl across all three lanes**

He was in the far left lane and missed his exit so he backed up on the opposite side and then strolled across 3 lanes of fast moving traffic. I've yet to see a more douchey maneuver that was so blatantly selfish and had total disregard for other driver's safety.

I had a college professor scold the class for helping each other study for exams because she stated we were all competing for a program spot/future job and needed to be more competitive. She magically was not teaching any classes next semester.

When people correct me about my last name, or claim to know where it originates. Here’s a typical cringe conversation I have about it:

“My last name is (last name)”

“Oh, you mean (mispronounces last name)”

“No, it’s pronounced (correct last name)”

“Well, in Russia its pronounced my way”

“...my last name isn’t Russian, it’s German.”

“Actually, I know it’s Russian and...blah blah blah (I stop listening at this point)”.

I am a male, as I approached the booth I was serving, 4 male patrons (who were clearly homosexual) were having a chuckle and failed to see me approaching. As I approach I overhear "I hope our waiter is gay too." They knew I heard them, but I ignored it the rest of the meal, awkardly, but succesfully.

I came to the table while they praying before their meal about their dying relative. It was so awkward, I joined in.

"heyy guys, here's that tartar and cocktail yall..... LORD PLEASE HELP JENNIFER OVERCOME CANCER".