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“She’s Clumsy AF And Costing Us Both Tons Of Money”: Guy Reaches Breaking Point
Not all of us are blessed with coordination, grace, or elegance. In fact, we all have our clumsy moments here and there. Most of the time, it happens due to distraction or lack of sleep, which is completely normal. However, persistent or worsening clumsiness can seriously start interfering with everyday life and even be the root cause of something more concerning.
This man recently shared his struggles and worries about living with a clumsy girlfriend. He recalls how she constantly bumps into things and breaks almost anything she touches, which has cost a ton of money for both of them. Not knowing how to deal with all of it, her partner laid out the situation online, hoping to get some unbiased insights from fellow netizens.
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Persistent clumsiness can really start interfering with everyday life
Image credits: musicbeats88 (not the actual photo)
Like it happened to this man, whose girlfriend’s clumsiness started seriously stressing him out
Image credits: musicbeats88 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: musicbeats88
About 5-6% of children have dyspraxia, which is a common cause of clumsiness
Clumsiness starts in our brain. Every time we make a move, sensory receptors (found in eyes, ears, nose, mouth, skin, and internal organs) gather information about our environment and send messages about our body’s position and actions to the brain using the nervous system. The constant loop of information helps the brain to coordinate our movements. This is how our body knows how to avoid an obstacle or to walk carefully on a slippery surface.
When there’s a miscommunication between the brain, body, and environment, a person may slip, trip, drop objects, spill drinks, or bump into things. There are many reasons why this can happen. The most common ones include having a poor night’s sleep or being distracted. Even one night of poor sleep can make a person tired and a little bit off balance and clumsy. Stress and anxiety are other frequent causes of clumsiness, as they affect the nervous system and can cause shaking of the hands or a different view of your surroundings. This often leads to bumping into things or dropping them.
Clumsiness can also be increased by deficiencies in vitamins like B12 and minerals, such as magnesium. It’s also possible that a lack of coordination and balance is a side effect of certain medicines or simply a part of the aging process or pregnancy. For some, clumsiness is just a part of their DNA. “If your parents were clumsy, you’ve got a better chance that you’re going to be clumsy,” said Gary Wilkerson, EdD, ATC, a neuromechanics researcher and professor.
In fact, clumsiness is more common than we may realize. About 5-6% of children have Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), which is a common cause of lack of coordination. Many people with DCD experience minor motor difficulties that can persist into adolescence and adulthood.
Image credits: varyapigu (not the actual photo)
People with occasional clumsiness can improve their coordination
While disorders like DCD can’t be cured, the good news is that people with occasional clumsiness and even medical conditions can improve their coordination. A simple way to do this is to stay active and exercise regularly. “Movement in general strengthens gross motor skills and balance,” explains Lisa Hobson Stoner, certified personal trainer. She suggests that inactive people should start with simple walking, as every simple step requires balance and coordination.
Additionally, Wilkerson recommends practicing mindfulness meditation, which helps tune into feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations and can help boost body awareness and avoid clumsy incidents. Lastly, Hobson Stoner advises stopping thinking about being a clumsy person and starting to challenge yourself. “If we always think of ourselves this way, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy,” she said. Replacing usual thoughts with more positive ones, like ‘I’m working on my coordination,’ helps to seek improvement. After that, it doesn’t take long to see the results. “These adaptations can begin within 24 hours of exposure,” Wilkerson says.
However, if there’s a sudden increase in incidents or injuries because of clumsiness that developed over hours or days, medical experts recommend seeking medical advice or help, as these symptoms can signal a serious underlying condition, like stroke, seizures, tumor, etc.
“If you notice persistent clumsiness that interferes with your daily activities or seems to be worsening over time, it’s a good idea to see a doctor,” neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez said. “If clumsiness is accompanied by other symptoms such as a severe headache, weakness or numbness on one side of the body, difficulty speaking, confusion, vision changes, dizziness or loss of balance, see a doctor immediately.”
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
Some commenters suspected that the GF might be doing all of this intentionally, while others suggested she has some sort of medical condition
Some commenters also shared similar stories
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What do you think ?
Melissa Harris 3 months ago (edited)
I think the bigger issue is how she reacts. She doesn't apologize but blame shifts and hides what she's broken. The OP sounds like he's on the edge of an anxiety attack constantly and may need to bresk up for his mental health or before he has a heartattack. She's going to break something irreplaceable and he's just going to snap, or she's going to damage something that belongs to someone who won't take "wasn't me" as a response and potentially end up in court. She needs to see a doctor to rule out medical conditions or vision issues and see a therapist about her inability to own up yo what she's done.
KatSaidWhat 3 months ago
This - and the enablement. It's not f*****g cute or a quirk.
Load More Replies...
Emilu 3 months ago
Regardless of it's an accident or not, if it happens as often as OP implies she should be replacing the stuff she breaks if they're not sharing finances. Why should he be left massively out of pocket because she can't watch where she's going? I've (fortunately) never broken anybody else's property but if I did, regardless of reason, I'd be d**n well going to right my wrong as much as possible (whether through new product, repair, etc). I get she may have a medical reason for being clumsy. Doesn't change the fact something's broken and she's the cause.
Janissary35680 3 months ago
"Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice."
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
Arguably the best description of weaponized incompetence I've ever heard 😂 Or I guess, this would describe the opposite, non-weaponized incompetence.
Load More Replies...
Lost Panda 3 months ago
I'm with the one saying it might be sight related. At worst it might be something affecting her periphripals(sp?) She should probably go get screened.
arthbach 3 months ago
Lost Panda, there's a number of conditions that could be at the root of this, not just sight. But sight tests would be a great starting place. She could also do with being tested for proprioception problem, grip strength, ADHD, etc.
Load More Replies...
JayWantsACat 3 months ago
Regardless of whether its intentional or not, the her reaction should be the same: apologetic. And she's not. Again, if it's not medical, in what world would someone drop FIVE plates in a single situation? If she wasn't an only child, I'd say it was for attention but I still feel like that's the case. Or she's so self centered and inconsiderate, as evidenced by walking through crowds, smashing her bad into people, and/or unwilling to actually care enough to actually pay attention to things. It's so weird that there are so many times where someone is like "my s/o is perfect in every way, except this one way" and that one way is pretty bad, like with this situation. She doesn't care enough to stop destroying things. So how can she be great in all other aspects but also inconsiderate as f**k? Again, assuming there isn't something neurological here.
Tabitha 3 months ago (edited)
I’m clumsy too. Always have been. Inner ear issues when I was a child have affected my balance. I took years of dance lessons to work on my balance and they did help. When I got older, I realized I have to always be aware of where I end and the world begins—-in other words, work on my proprioception. As I said, the dance lessons helped a lot, but I still have to remain aware of where I am in relation to everything else in a room or a crowd, as well as my purse or anything lose I may be carrying, so I don’t bash into other people, or trip up myself. I can’t afford to constantly replace things that I break, so I try to keep myself from breaking them, or spilling them, or anything else that goes with clumsiness. I invested in unbreakable Corelle dinner dishes because I got tired of constantly replacing dishes I broke. I don’t use glass cups. I am exceedingly mindful and careful if I am around breakable stuff in other people’s homes or businesses. I avoid wearing white clothing because I invariably will spill things on myself (oddly, it doesn’t happen with any other colors, just plain pure white). OP’s girlfriend needs to grow up and do the same, if she wants to live around other people and their stuff. Maybe OP can get her checked out medically to see if it’s a neurological issue. Once diagnosed, then a plan of action to improve her balance and coordination can be put in place. She may never be 100% graceful, but at least she won’t be breaking every single thing she passes by. Just one or two things once in a while.
Deborah B 3 months ago
I think this guy needs to talk to her and tell her that it upsets him when she breaks stuff, but more when she then hides it or fails to hold herself accountable. He needs to get insurance on all his tech. She needs to pay for the things she breaks. She also needs to get herself evaluated for ADD, dyspraxia and other possible causes. Maybe she can't help being clumsy, but she can certainly learn to manage herself better. I say this as a known clumsy person who breaks something at least once a week. My phone has a protective case, and a screen protector, and is on a lanyard, and I still get refurbished ones a couple of generations old. I also have a "safe zone" where I put it to charge, in a corner out of traffic so I don't knock it down.
Bookworm 3 months ago
If she were truly sorry she'd apologize, not shift blame. She'd be making concerted efforts to avoid this happening again, including getting a physical to rule out medical causes. And she'd be insisting she replace what she breaks. Solely at her own expense. That she's not doing is telling. And I'd be dumping her.
Sian E 3 months ago
This is giving off vibes of dyspraxia, attention deficit disorder and a level of learned behaviour from childhood that it 'doesn't matter'. Her parents never taught her that breaking something that belongs to someone else (even accidentally) can be upsetting for the other person. She can't see it for herself because she doesn't understand. With a dyspraxia diagnosis she could learn to navigate an environment safely and reduce accidents. With an ADD diagnosis she could learn to be more aware of her surroundings and other people’s feelings. All of this takes an immense amount of time and effort, but there are solutions. If she's not willing to work at it and keep using it as an excuse, THEN it's time to rethink the relationship.
T'Mar of Vulcan 3 months ago
My mother was constantly saying, "You're so ONHANDIG!" ("Un-handy" = clumsy.) Found out at the age of like 48 that MY RIGHT EYE DOESN'T WORK PROPERLY. My left eye compensates but not enough to rescue my depth perception. I can't even drive because of how bad it is. My glasses (for reading) have wildly different prescriptions for each eye. That said, the GF just sounds inattentive because she was never told to be careful, so she isn't.
Melissa Harris 3 months ago (edited)
I think the bigger issue is how she reacts. She doesn't apologize but blame shifts and hides what she's broken. The OP sounds like he's on the edge of an anxiety attack constantly and may need to bresk up for his mental health or before he has a heartattack. She's going to break something irreplaceable and he's just going to snap, or she's going to damage something that belongs to someone who won't take "wasn't me" as a response and potentially end up in court. She needs to see a doctor to rule out medical conditions or vision issues and see a therapist about her inability to own up yo what she's done.
KatSaidWhat 3 months ago
This - and the enablement. It's not f*****g cute or a quirk.
Load More Replies... Emilu 3 months ago
Regardless of it's an accident or not, if it happens as often as OP implies she should be replacing the stuff she breaks if they're not sharing finances. Why should he be left massively out of pocket because she can't watch where she's going? I've (fortunately) never broken anybody else's property but if I did, regardless of reason, I'd be d**n well going to right my wrong as much as possible (whether through new product, repair, etc). I get she may have a medical reason for being clumsy. Doesn't change the fact something's broken and she's the cause.
Janissary35680 3 months ago
"Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice."
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
Arguably the best description of weaponized incompetence I've ever heard 😂 Or I guess, this would describe the opposite, non-weaponized incompetence.
Load More Replies... Lost Panda 3 months ago
I'm with the one saying it might be sight related. At worst it might be something affecting her periphripals(sp?) She should probably go get screened.
arthbach 3 months ago
Lost Panda, there's a number of conditions that could be at the root of this, not just sight. But sight tests would be a great starting place. She could also do with being tested for proprioception problem, grip strength, ADHD, etc.
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 3 months ago
Regardless of whether its intentional or not, the her reaction should be the same: apologetic. And she's not. Again, if it's not medical, in what world would someone drop FIVE plates in a single situation? If she wasn't an only child, I'd say it was for attention but I still feel like that's the case. Or she's so self centered and inconsiderate, as evidenced by walking through crowds, smashing her bad into people, and/or unwilling to actually care enough to actually pay attention to things. It's so weird that there are so many times where someone is like "my s/o is perfect in every way, except this one way" and that one way is pretty bad, like with this situation. She doesn't care enough to stop destroying things. So how can she be great in all other aspects but also inconsiderate as f**k? Again, assuming there isn't something neurological here.
Tabitha 3 months ago (edited)
I’m clumsy too. Always have been. Inner ear issues when I was a child have affected my balance. I took years of dance lessons to work on my balance and they did help. When I got older, I realized I have to always be aware of where I end and the world begins—-in other words, work on my proprioception. As I said, the dance lessons helped a lot, but I still have to remain aware of where I am in relation to everything else in a room or a crowd, as well as my purse or anything lose I may be carrying, so I don’t bash into other people, or trip up myself. I can’t afford to constantly replace things that I break, so I try to keep myself from breaking them, or spilling them, or anything else that goes with clumsiness. I invested in unbreakable Corelle dinner dishes because I got tired of constantly replacing dishes I broke. I don’t use glass cups. I am exceedingly mindful and careful if I am around breakable stuff in other people’s homes or businesses. I avoid wearing white clothing because I invariably will spill things on myself (oddly, it doesn’t happen with any other colors, just plain pure white). OP’s girlfriend needs to grow up and do the same, if she wants to live around other people and their stuff. Maybe OP can get her checked out medically to see if it’s a neurological issue. Once diagnosed, then a plan of action to improve her balance and coordination can be put in place. She may never be 100% graceful, but at least she won’t be breaking every single thing she passes by. Just one or two things once in a while.
Deborah B 3 months ago
I think this guy needs to talk to her and tell her that it upsets him when she breaks stuff, but more when she then hides it or fails to hold herself accountable. He needs to get insurance on all his tech. She needs to pay for the things she breaks. She also needs to get herself evaluated for ADD, dyspraxia and other possible causes. Maybe she can't help being clumsy, but she can certainly learn to manage herself better. I say this as a known clumsy person who breaks something at least once a week. My phone has a protective case, and a screen protector, and is on a lanyard, and I still get refurbished ones a couple of generations old. I also have a "safe zone" where I put it to charge, in a corner out of traffic so I don't knock it down.
Bookworm 3 months ago
If she were truly sorry she'd apologize, not shift blame. She'd be making concerted efforts to avoid this happening again, including getting a physical to rule out medical causes. And she'd be insisting she replace what she breaks. Solely at her own expense. That she's not doing is telling. And I'd be dumping her.
Sian E 3 months ago
This is giving off vibes of dyspraxia, attention deficit disorder and a level of learned behaviour from childhood that it 'doesn't matter'. Her parents never taught her that breaking something that belongs to someone else (even accidentally) can be upsetting for the other person. She can't see it for herself because she doesn't understand. With a dyspraxia diagnosis she could learn to navigate an environment safely and reduce accidents. With an ADD diagnosis she could learn to be more aware of her surroundings and other people’s feelings. All of this takes an immense amount of time and effort, but there are solutions. If she's not willing to work at it and keep using it as an excuse, THEN it's time to rethink the relationship.
T'Mar of Vulcan 3 months ago
My mother was constantly saying, "You're so ONHANDIG!" ("Un-handy" = clumsy.) Found out at the age of like 48 that MY RIGHT EYE DOESN'T WORK PROPERLY. My left eye compensates but not enough to rescue my depth perception. I can't even drive because of how bad it is. My glasses (for reading) have wildly different prescriptions for each eye. That said, the GF just sounds inattentive because she was never told to be careful, so she isn't.
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