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There’s nothing better than thinking of the perfect, most brilliant comeback for someone else’s snarky remark. But there’s nothing worse than coming up with it 30 seconds too late. We’ve all been there: as you’re driving home, you suddenly think of a clever reply. But it’s too late, and now that interaction will haunt you for years...
Luckily, on the internet, we have a bit more time to craft the best responses. Here’s a list of screenshots from the Clever Comebacks subreddit that might inspire you to use your wits more often. Enjoy scrolling through these pics, and be sure to upvote the ones that would make your 12-year-old self say, “Ooh, burn!”
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#1
Blue Checkmarked Too!
RELATED:
#3
When A Dystopia With Hungry Children Is Painted As A Feel Good Story
Pretty much everyone has been in a situation where a clever comeback could have saved them, either from embarrassment or from unsolicited comments. But it’s also a universal experience to be unable to spit out the perfect comeback in time. There’s even a Seinfeld episode dedicated to it, where George ruminates on the fact that he thought of, "Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you,” too late.
Unfortunately, most of us do concoct the perfect replies too late, which is why the Clever Comebacks subreddit is such a satisfying place. This community has 1.2 million visitors weekly, so there’s absolutely no shortage of new, brilliant content on any given day. From roasting trolls to obliterating misogynists with one comment, this is the place to be if you want to improve your comeback game.
#4
Are You Really A Good Person?
Nikole 1 month ago
Hilarious when diehard religious people think *we're* the bad ones simply because we're "godless".
geezeronthehill 1 month ago
Moral behavior was around long before religion. Dogs have a moral sense. Our chimpanzee cousins have a moral sense. I will let cats speak for themselves.
Billo66 1 month ago
And, these "inferior" species all know enough to keep their ass clean. A quick trip to Walmart will tell you a large percentage of humans do not.
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QuincyForrest 1 month ago
This atheist decides by asking myself, "Will this hurt anyone?" and to what degree if yes. But it's by asking MYSELF, not some invisible, silent, and easily angered imaginary Magic Daddy. Shorter: by thinking for myself and not being a lazy a.s.s. leeching on other people.
Power puff scientist 1 month ago
Especially when some religions think its perfectly fine to harm people who don’t believe the same as them. Or even think it’s morally the right thing to do and they will be rewarded for it.
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Chris the Bobcat 1 month ago
"I know you live by that book of rules, but anyone who needs a book is a fool." - Lemmy Kilmister and Motorhead, 'Lawman', 1979.
Owen 1 month ago
Lemmy was such a legend. They have built a statue to him in his hometown. Not bad for someone that 'just' plays rock'n'roll.
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EvanisHere 1 month ago
I ask my girlfriend, she asks our mutual friend and he asks his boyfriend and in the end none of us really know what we were doing.
LinkTheHylian 1 month ago
Meanwhile the rest of us old folks are trying to live on the advice of our magic 8 balls.
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Jaya 1 month ago
1: not wanting to (there are many crimes that many people feel no desire to commit). 2: empathy, and a sense of fairness, good&bad. Realizing that other people don't deserve to be treated like that, that you wouldn't want it to happen to you n'either. 3: community, social consequences, like people shaming you, being angry with you or not wanting you around anymore. 4: if all those fail, there's the law to keep us in check (fines, prison time).
roddy 1 month ago
And your own self respect. Being able to live with yourself because you are a decent person is huge.
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Ye Olde Dirty Grumpy 1 month ago
As long as ye harm none, do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law
WubiDubi 1 month ago
Iran (religious nutters in charge), Israel (religious nutters in charge), US (Republicans are all religious nutters but the boss Trumpf does not believe in god, he'd be more scared if he did, he believes in money and power), Meanwhile fertilisers are blocked by the closure of the Hormuz and food and energy are going to be unaffordable. Thanks religious nutters hell bent of destroying each others' very very similar religions.
veirdbuttrue 1 month ago
It's all so freakin crazy. How do we make it stop?
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Brian Herold 1 month ago
If you need the promis of reward (Heaven) or the threat of punishment (Hell) to be a good person, you're not a good person. You are a bad person being kept in line.
Laserleader 1 month ago
The same way they decide if jumping off a cliff is a good idea. If its gonna hurt then you probably shouldn't do it.
Rick Murray 1 month ago
It's really simple, and it's even in their silly little book: Treat others like you'd want them to treat you. I just don't need to be threatened in order to understand empathy and compassion.
Billo66 1 month ago (edited)
As a child you shouldn't be told Lake of Fire forever or Happy place with friends and toys. Which one do you think that child will choose? And then live the rest of their life wondering if they've been good enough to avoid the flames. Can't make our super loving god mad or he'll burn ya. ffs. I was that child. Despite that shit, I'm nice to people because I want to be. It makes me feel better. Ths nastier the person, the nicer I am. It's fun. Try it. Smiles are free to share, no subscription needed!
Noyfb noyfb 1 month ago
So many children, with just a little education, life experience and common sense, can see right through the ridiculous, superstitious fantasies adults tell them about a Sky Daddy.
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Colleen Glim 1 month ago
Genuinely good people don’t need an invisible sky daddy to be good. They do it because it’s the right thing to do
Bobby Elgee 1 month ago
Research clearly shows that people don't need religion to behave morally. If you need religion to teach you morals, everyone would be committing jihad cir their respective religions.
Jessica Daus-Warner 1 month ago
Given the current amount of "christian men" being arrested for grape and SA, it doesn't seem that eternal punishment matters either.
Jerome Lenovo 1 month ago
oh man, the religious lurkers must be fuming, flooding bp with take-down requests
StrangeOne 1 month ago (edited)
No, we just have laws to do that. Just look at how many bylaws are broken all the time because the punishments are not harsh enough. Imagine if anyone blaring their music in apartments got a mandatory life sentence for the first violation, how quieter would apartment living would be. (I've been dealing with bass from my neighbours all week, all day, I'm a bit salty and can't do anything about it cause it's apartment life. Yes, I work but I'm on vacation.)
Ye Olde Dirty Grumpy 1 month ago
Austin has strict noise limits since the 90s
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Melody 4 weeks ago
It has been said that G-d made atheists so that people would know true kindness. Because when an atheist does something kind that genuinely doesn't benefit them in any way, you know it's really because they care about doing the right thing, not because they expect to be rewarded for it when they die. (No, Bored Panda is not censoring "G-d", afaik. I hyphenate it for religious reasons.)
Andy Frobig 1 month ago
What always baffles me is all the immoral choices religious people make, while they think God is watching
#5
Why In The World Is This A Thing People Believe
#6
You Can Still Breathe Idiot
Riley Quinn 1 month ago
Hey Ian, if you're gonna pick on an old man, why don't you pick on the Exalted Orange One that you supported.
Now, not every situation warrants a brutal comeback. Sometimes, the mature thing to do is simply show the other person grace and hope that they respond nicely to your kindness. But if a person makes an offensive comment, rudely mocks your physical appearance, or clearly has no interest in being polite, you will be justified in sharing an epic comeback.
And if you’re looking for some to keep up your sleeve, Reader’s Digest has got you covered. First, there’s the iconic, “That sounds like a you problem.” It’s simple, but a classic for a reason. You can also give someone a backhanded compliment, such as, “Someday you’ll go far– and I really hope you stay there.”
#7
I Think It's Satire But It's Funny Either Way
David 1 month ago
Hey there are many good Latino scientists with the name Jesus. Like Jesus G. Valenzuela who is one of the worlds top Vector Molecular Biologists and works for the NIH. Or in the UK Dr. Jesus Gil one of the worlds foremost experts of CRISPR and Head of the Senescence Research Group at the Medical Research Council. Both have great publication records you can google
#8
Hating Disloyal People
Chris the Bobcat 1 month ago
His dad even cheated on his country. January 6th, bromance with putin, love with kim, etc.
#9
The Founders Would Say "The Heck Is An Ohio?"
Reader’s Digest also has some suggestions for comebacks to use in specific situations. For example, if someone mocks an aspect of your physical appearance, you can hit them with something along the lines of, “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.” And if you simply can’t stand someone’s behavior, it might be time to tell them, “You bring everyone a lot of joy… when you leave the room.”
#10
That’s A Billion Dollar Burn
Riley Quinn 1 month ago
Thank you slate. I'm still PO'd about not being able to use Twitter anymore bc of the hatred he's allowed to rein with no restrictions. Reddit is kinder and more diplomatic.
#11
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
#12
I Mean, He's Not Wrong
If you’re wondering why you always think of a comeback moments too late, you’re certainly not alone. In fact, the French even have a term for this experience: l’esprit de l’escalier or “staircase wit.” This was coined by 18th-century philosopher Denis Diderot, but it’s still just as relevant today.
#13
Someone Needs To Send Help
Spencers slave no more 1 month ago
Not old enough to vote or buy a beer, but old enough to fight and d1e for a megalomaniac's war for oil.
#14
They’re Only In It For Themselves
Chris the Bobcat 1 month ago
"Politicians hide themselves away, they only started the war. Why should they go out to fight? They leave that all to the poor." - Black Sabbath, 'War Pigs', 1970.
#15
Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken
Apparently, there’s even a scientific explanation for why our brains freeze up when we’re tasked with creating a brilliant comeback on the spot. This is partially because, when faced with confrontation, your amygdala takes over. This is the part of the brain that processes fear and anxiety, and it plays a key role in our fight or flight response. That’s why our instincts tend to take the wheel in these situations, and we can’t be as clever or suave as we’d like to be.
#16
We See You Kevin!
Chris the Bobcat 1 month ago (edited)
Another fine republican. A representative of the party actively endorsing their messiah's conversion of America from a democratically elected country to a fasc!st regime. If I remember correctly, dictatorships are very good at taking and taking.
#17
Pretty Simple!!!!!
#18
When Your You Put Both Feet In Your Mouth
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
I never heard of this Pasture before, but he even LOOKS like a sleazy used car salesman.
Unless you’re on an improv troupe or you’ve been blessed with the brain and tongue of an Aaron Sorkin character, there’s a good chance you’re not perfect at comebacks. And you know what, that’s totally fine! It’s unrealistic to expect yourself to be sharp and witty at all times. Plus, sinking to a rude person’s level by insulting them back isn’t always the most mature move to make. As Michelle Obama says, "When they go low, we go high."
#19
No One Delegates Like Elon
Rosecrucian Roeth 1 month ago
Jesus, he couldn't raise the hairs on the back of a coward...........................
#20
Both Magnus Carlsen And I Can Play Chess
#21
Very Strange, Indeed
We hope you’re enjoying your scroll through these clever and brutal comebacks, pandas! Keep upvoting the ones that you’ll be keeping in your back pocket, and let us know in the comments below if you have any more comebacks that could absolutely obliterate a bully. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda list featuring satisfying encounters like these, look no further than right here!
#22
Apply Directly To The Burn
dan gerene 1 month ago
When and where is the government controlling stoves? In Conspiracy Land? Is this like banning hamburgers and Christmas?
#24
That Is A Good One
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago
Ben Shapiro again. It is no coincidence that his initials are BS.
#25
A Music Composer
Phantom Phoenix 1 month ago (edited)
If I was at a dinner party and somebody introduces himself as Dr Smith, I would ask in what discipline he'd earned his doctorate. (Meanwhile, on the inside, I'd be waving my arms and saying, "Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. Danger!")
#26
Complaining Is Easier Than Fixing
#27
Good Reply. Understood The Assignment
#28
We're Not The Same After All
#29
Flat Earthers Make Me Happy Because I Know I'm Not A Complete Failure
#30
Just Wait
#31
One Hour Dry Burgers
#32
Not To Mention Charging You For Telling You That You Don't Have Money
#33
Alpha Guy Is On A Highway To Prison
#34
Government Employee Thinks There Are Too Many Government Employees
#35
I Wonder Why
Laserleader 1 month ago
This comes from when it was decided that all the middle class people who lost jobs from quarantine and got the normal unemployment couldn't even buy enough food let alone pay their bills. So they raised the unemployment with supplements so the middle class could survive... then they dropped it back down, and now they take it away from the poor because who cares... right?
#36
Savage Level 100
#37
Twitter Has Gotten Funnier Recently
#38
This Is Correct
Joe Publique 1 month ago
My neighbour's Tesla has a sticker that says "Sorry. We bought this before we knew Elon was a c**t".
#39
Ozone Layer
#40
Rules Are Rules
Upstaged75 1 month ago
In 2 years she's going to be posting "why won't my son speak to me anymore?".
#41
The Absolute Irony
Beak Hookage 1 month ago
No, no, you've got it all wrong. "Free speech" actually means "the special people (ie me and the people I identify with) are allowed to say all the racist, s.exist, ableist, factually incorrect BS we like without facing consequences of any kind".
#42
Oof! Shots Fired!!!
#43
To Really Show Him He Should Buy 100 Copies
#44
I’ll Take Made-Up Stories For $500, Alex
#45
Dagger Into The Liver
#46
That Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means
#47
Show People They Matter With The Colour Of Your Money
Riley Quinn 1 month ago
Corporations acting like they're caring people is beyond the pale. STFU and count your piles of cash that you can't possibly share.
#48
Rush That Man To The Burn Unit. Stat
dan gerene 1 month ago
He thinks that the girl that smiled at him at the drive-thru is in love with him. But she wasn't up to his standards.
#49
Climate Change Is An Issue, Mr Clarkson
#51
Depends On Who Writes The Comic
Whiskey Tango Delicious 1 month ago
Magneto. I think Sir Ian Mckellen wins. Gandalf, Magneto, choose your hero, that Man wins all battles in my world.
#52
Flameproofing? But My House Isn't On Fire!
#53
Why Would You Even Reject The Jacket?
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
Let’s be straight. She’s entitled to fancy who she fancies and doesn’t have to justify it. And every woman reading this knows we all need to be careful about what we accept from men we aren’t interested in taking things further with. That said, no idea why it had to be posted publicly but I’m one of the generations that doesn’t have to splurge out every last thing that went through our minds or we did.
#54
Anyone Use An Ad Blocking Software?
Speak easy buttercup 1 month ago
IM not watching 2 ads! I have zero ads on BP as well! I use the Brave browser and I swear that has saved my sanity! Like on this site in particular I dang near stopped getting on here at all because the ads were out of control!! Not anymore tho! 😎😎😎
#55
He Is Honest. The Best Kind Of Doctor
#56
God Created Cancel Culture
#57
When The World Revolves Around The USA
#58
He Just Nailed It
Monika Rhodes 1 month ago
Might have a downvote but some languages are more difficult to learn and speak than others. I'm polish, english somehow went easy with me. Can't imagine speaking chinese or others. If none speaker spoke polish perfectly, I'd be very impressed.
#59
Gonna Need Some Cream For That Burn Mate
#60
Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago (edited)
Is there also a Universe in which Stephen Hawking is not mentioned in the Epste!n files ?
#61
Does This Count?
#62
Bro Has Got Everything Sorted
#63
Found On Another Page. Personally I Find This One Perfect. Double Standard Much?
#64
Never Bring A Book To The Bar
#65
And The Most Hair-Raising
#66
Same Honestly
#67
Well, Is She Wrong?!
#68
Elon Musk Is Back With His Stupidity
#69
One Of My Favourites
Owen 1 month ago
I worked in a Blockbusters. It was a happy time for me. I got ten free rentals of anything a week, and started sharing them out among friends. I treated all my close friends. There were no rules against that, as long as they were back on time. A perfect job for a 19yr old nerd.
#70
Hypocrisy Comes Naturally
#71
Thoughtful Guy
#72
How Can He Make Comments When He Was Not Even There For The Committee Hearings On Inflation?
#74
Bro You’re The Foot
#76
0-100 Real Quick
#77
Just A Gender Reveal
Chris the Bobcat 1 month ago
I can comprehend that this is Italian colors over the Duomo di Milano, but I read a lot outside of public school, so I might not count.
#78
It All Makes Sense Now
Joe Publique 1 month ago
Ben Shapiro is a buffoon. He got his a*s handed to him at the Oxford Union (just like Charlie Kirk). Their particular brand of wilful ignorance only works in a specific part of a specific country.
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What do you think ?
Fred 1 month ago
But the more verbiage, the less willing people are to read it.
Load More Replies... Joe Publique 1 month ago
Almost every author on BP needs to take a course in how to construct a poll.
caraestrella 1 month ago
I hate these political things just cause it shows the idiocy’s still have millions of people who believe what they say
Megasmacky 1 month ago
You're calling people idiots, I think, and yet you can't construct a coherent sentence. Sit the f*** down.
Load More Replies... Fred 1 month ago
But the more verbiage, the less willing people are to read it.
Load More Replies... Joe Publique 1 month ago
Almost every author on BP needs to take a course in how to construct a poll.
caraestrella 1 month ago
I hate these political things just cause it shows the idiocy’s still have millions of people who believe what they say
Megasmacky 1 month ago
You're calling people idiots, I think, and yet you can't construct a coherent sentence. Sit the f*** down.
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