Childfree Woman Gets Laughed At For Saying She’s Tired By Her Friends Who Have Kids, Calls Them Out
Various studies have shown that Americans not only work longer hours, but have more stress-related illnesses than their European and Japanese counterparts. These days, everyone is being pressured to be as productive as they physically can, and often, can’t.
While anyone who’s ever had a truly demanding job knows how it feels to be turned into a dried-out sponge by the end of the workweek, many parents still claim they don’t know how much worse it gets when you have kids.
And one Redditor, a childfree 34-year-old woman who “works long hours, never really gets to turn off, and has a contract which means unemployment is always looming” knows that all too well.
But recently she got seriously fed up with her friends, all mothers of kids under 6, who told her that she didn’t “understand the meaning of tired” because she doesn’t have children. An argument on usurping the monopoly on tiredness ensued, so let’s see the whole story right below.
One overworked woman with a demanding job has got fed up with mothers who told her she doesn’t know the real meaning of tiredness until she has kids
Image credits: Sharon McCutcheon (not the actual photo)
So she shared her story on Reddit and asked people what they thought of the situation and mothers usurping the monopoly on tiredness
Image credits: destinedspoon
Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Lise Deguire, a clinical psychologist and author of “Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor,” to find out what she had to say on this complex situation. “I think this story is a new variation on a decades-long theme, which pits women against each other,” Lise said and added that “there has been a tension between feminists and traditionalists; working moms and stay-at-home moms; tension between breast-feeding moms and moms unable to breast-feed, etc.”
“Unfortunately, it seems to be easy for people to fall into a trap of comparing and judging each other, instead of supporting each other. I think this issue of who-is-more-tired is another version of that theme,” she explained.
Lise said that as a psychologist, “I can tell you that everyone suffers in their own way. Some of us are in pain because of our relationships, or our financial standing, or our perceived inadequacies. And some of us are super tired.”
And what helps people feel better is to have compassion for themselves and their troubles, as well as having this compassion for others. Meanwhile, “Judging our suffering never helps, it just makes us feel more inadequate. Judging another’s suffering never helps either, it just creates stress and bad feelings, like what happened with NTA,” the clinical psychologist and award-winning author commented.
“My wish is that we could hear each other’s concerns and complaints with care and concern, and without comparison, but this is hard to do, especially when we are tired,” Lise concluded.
And this is what people commented
Why the hell does it need to be a competition. Yes being a parent is tiring but so is a lot of other things. And not just people who work long, demanding or physical jobs but also people who are suffer with health issues, disabilities, even mental health issues. Don't need to compare who is more tired than who, it's just stupid.
I can't agree with you more. These are things they chose. Some things you don't chose. You don't chose illness, depression, war, poverty, stalkers, tough jobs you have to do for bare survival. This in this article is privilege talking.
Load More Replies...I suspect that the parents that constantly play that card are the ones that are suppressing resentment for having kids and are jealous of those without parental responsibilities. They may not even consciously realize it. Just mind your own damn business.
I wonder if they're also the same ones who tell you your life has no sense because you're childfree and that you will only understand the meaning of life, the universe and everything when you have children.
Load More Replies...I really don"t get the "I got it worse than you" -game. It is so effing stupid. We should support each other. I have a demanding job and a kid ---- and no goddamn monopoly on being tired. I was tired to death without a child and with a child. Made no difference.
Then throw in the "got it worse than you by proxy" competitors - "you can't be hungry, there's kids starving in Africa"; "you have a broken leg? My brother's got cancer"; " you've got cancer? My uncle is terminal". It's the negative version of the Elevenerife (as in, you've been to Tenerife...). It boils down to a lack of empathy - this could be down to tiredness it illness (I know if I'm not well my capacity for empathy is lower than normal), or it could be that they are just genuinely horrible people who aren't happy unless they are the centre of attention.
Load More Replies...I'm so glad everyone agreed that she's NTA. There is a certain type of mums that think they have it worse than anyone else and deserve praise and a gold medal. Everyone's life is different and you don't get to judge someone else and decide where they sit on the scale of tiredness, hardship or anything else.
When I complained about being tired and stressed to a colleague who has a child, I quickly added, "But then I don't have children" so I wouldn't sound insensitive and tone-deaf. She smiled and said, "That's a choice I made." I'm conscious of how much work and energy goes into raising children (for any good parent), but I've been fortunate in not meeting the martyr types (except my own mum, LOL).
Load More Replies...Single and childless people are often expected to pick up the slack when parents can't work late or on weekends to make deadlines. So sure, the parent is tired, but so is that non-parent working until 8:00 every night to get the job out on time.
oh and the she needs the vacation she has kids. like not having kids mean i dont have friend family social life and hobbies? i dont need vacation or what
Load More Replies...I remember that time in my early 30s (I'm 41 now and I don't have children by choice) when my friends started having kids and telling me exactly the same thing. Honestly I've always thought they were jealous of my freedom. Same with husbands: "oh you're single, so lucky, I have 100 shirts to wash and iron". 1st of all: who the hell irons. 2nd of all: doesn't your husband have hands to do his own chores? 3rd: dump him if married life is so unbearable
Always pisses me off that people tell me I can’t be tired—-or worse, don’t understand what goes into having and raising and looking out for children, just because I don’t have kids. I’m not stupid, I was a child once myself, and I have been learning about childbearing, child raising, and child psychology since my late teens, because I knew I wanted children. Not having children was not my choice. I had miscarriages instead of full term pregnancies, so their words hurt like daggers. My husband and I can’t afford adoption, and are now too old anyway. We are considering fostering, which could lead to adoption. But we need to get me back to work first, so that’s on a back burner for now. This last year has thrown a huge monkey wrench into our plans, and especially our budget. Even though I’m not working, believe me, I am exhausted all the time. Everybody’s exhausted right now. Stress will do that to you, and it’s been highly stressful for each and every one of us since March 2020.
This is another reason why comparison is not fair. Some are childless by choice, but some are not, and you don't always know what's going on with the person you're talking to.
Load More Replies...Knew a woman who would happily rail about how difficult the “job” of raising the 2 boys was. Now, I’m not saying raising kids is easy, but when you don’t have to go to a regular job to do the raising kids job because hubby is pulling down $10M/yr, and we’re sitting in the room with your tennis and golf tournament trophies, I’m saying it’s not that bad of a ‘job’. This was after she got $12M and the house in the divorce the minute the younger one went off to college. It’s a matter of perspective.
Just because this woman is rich and doesn't work outside the house it doesn't mean she can't have it tough and need somebody to listen sometimes.
Load More Replies...This is just like the other one "you don't have kids you don't understand.", when it comes to other kid's behaviour. Example I had one mother say that to me when she realised I was childless but I had the audacity to comment on her child who was running up and down the aisles of a shop screaming a pulling everything off the shelves. All I said was "you would think she'd do something to stop her child from acting that way" she asked if I had kids. I said no. Then you can't comment. How can you understand if you don't have kids." I just said "I can't fly a plane either but if I saw a plane a**e side up in a field somewhere I would know someone had f****d up somewhere", and walked off.
As someone with a chronic illness (kidney failure and go to dialysis 3 times/week for a total of 15 hours away from home), plus working a full time job, I know what tired is. I get it mentally from work and physically from dialysis. I'm guessing it's like being a parent. They get it mentally from whiney kids and physically from having to chase them around. But is it soul sucking? No. Dialysis sucks the soul from your body, I swear to god. Four hours in a recliner, not allowed to stand-up, can't move either arm, not allowed to eat or drink. Dialysis not only removes all the extra fluid from your body and the toxins that your kidney's can't, but it also removes all of the electrolytes and protein from your blood, so you are so drained and you've never known hunger like that before. Don't ever tell me you'd trade places with me because you wouldn't. Some people can't hack it, quit and then they die 4 days later. I've thought about it, a lot. Do having kids make you want to die? Doubt it.
I am sorry that you are ill. I really hate when healthy adults trat chronic illneses as if they are only in our heads. I have chronic fatigue (plus other stuff) and I am extremely week. Anything over 2k steps a day (about 30m walk the whole day) give mes several days of pain. Today I walked abour 1400 steps and I already feel feverish and I feel the muscle pain. How having kids is comparable to that?
Load More Replies...I’m pregnant and it’ll be my first kid so I have that level of tiredness to look forward to, but for now my job is mentally exhausting and my husband’s is physically. He often doesn’t believe me when I say I’m too tired to cook or clean after work. He always makes it seem like he’s the more tired one because he actually does physical labor. I often have to put my foot down because there is no level of tiredness physical or mental both can be equally tiring. Sure I probably couldn’t handle his job, but he wouldn’t be able to handle mine either.
How rude. Good on you for standing up to them. They don't need to agree with you, but they could at least keep their opinions to themselves. Jeez.
Sometimes I get talked down on by men because I still have my period. When I am in pain they tell me to man up and other s**t like that. I wish this would stop. Also when I say I am tired bc of the pain the men will say fall asleep early and maybe you won't be so tired. I do go to sleep early, but it's just the pains.
They tell you to “man up” period pain? Not that many men have ever experienced a period, to even know how to man up that kind of pain. Jeebus.
Load More Replies...I fckn HATE IT when parents assume they're the only people who are exhausted. Everyone has problems and personal struggles, and not having kids doesn't mean your life is a vacation. I have a son, but he's not the only reason I'm tired (though he's a little demon at times!!), and I would never even think of telling someone who's not a parent that their problems/struggles are less than mine or any other parent's.
This is kind of on the subject of comparing choices and lives but.. my brother and I both have depressive symptoms. Been that way for a long time. Now I know he didn't mean it, but he once said something that stuck with me. When I told him I had depression he said: "it can't be that bad if you're not laying in bed all the time and sleeping." Like there aren't different types if coping mechanisms. And I don't know that just kinda stuck. Sure you can share your own experiences but in no way should you try to say something like: "well my thing is more important because ." That's just being a goddamn jerk.
I have been hounded by people concerning my lack of children many times over the years. I have learned that the absolute WORST answer I could provide for my lack of these children was that "I had made a conscious choice not to have any". I was immediately branded a "child-hating-victim-of-abortions" and they would pray for my sins to be forgiven". (I had had a surgical procedure which had eliminated any possibility of my becoming pregnant years ago. I hope that they didn't hurt themselves leaping to their conclusion ).
I hear this kind of rhetoric ALL the time. I'm 38 and have not had kids. But I'm super ambitious and have filled my time with other things, other priorities. I try not to take it personally when I hear some dumbass joke about why someone doesn't have time because they have kids but its hard not to be annoyed at both the condescending nature of it and how much they take they beauty of their family for granted. I WISH I had already found a partner and had a home and some kiddos to raise but life didn't go that way for me. They are so lucky and lost all perspective on it...
Somebody told me you can handle everything on your plate ,but some people's plates are smaller but their stress and struggle are what they can handle.I don't think it should be a contest.Being a young female professional comes with a lot of stress,and with our current economy people are having to do more with less people.That being said , children will suck the soul from you ! My first child slept awesome.Slept through the night at 3 weeks,took naps etc.My second hell spawn woke up every single day at 5 am for the first five years of his life.The last child ,God made her extra cute,I assume so I wouldn't abandon her.(I am kidding people calm down).She didn't sleep through the night until she was five years old!She slept 4-6 hours a night,broken up,no naps and she was totally fine and happy.She's 18 now and I'm still tired.It's a different level of tired.Also the job is 24/7 with little to no breaks.I think they're just different kinds of tired. Both deserve validation
I would never laugh at the struggles parents have to go through. However, as a childfree person who has to watch, educate and feed 25 children for 9+ hours a day as a job, I laugh at those parents, who claim that they have it sooo much worse then anyone else and disregard others struggles.
mothers also think you can't possibly know anything about child rearing of you haven't given birth. I'm a freaking genius, I know all sorts of things. I have a niece who argues this theory. She's not the brightest light on the tree and has a HS diploma. her sister is an elementary school teacher, teacher of the year at her school this year and has taught for 15 years, has her masters. The mom insists the non-mom can't know as much b/c she hasn't given birth even though she deals with 25 of them all day long and has taught 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades. The teacher finally had a baby this year and their relationship has now improved. lol
This is usually said by parents with toddlers and babies - they forget there is a whole world out there that doesn’t revolve around them.
Lol. I can assure you, parents of babies and toddlers are extremely well aware that the world doesn't revolve around them, because thier world revolves around the baby - who, unfortunately have no flucking clue that anything outside themselves even exists.
Load More Replies...This is the stupid part of people. I am 5 months pregnant and currently work. Most people I know and have kids also havr a very stupid line " sleep now while you can cause after the baby..." i dont know how to tell them to f**k off. Having a child is a choice and if you have 3 and somebody doesent have a child but works 16 hours a day well you ate both right and tired. Those women are just assholes who want a statue. If u want a kid or decide to keep it then u do expect this.
"playing down with their experiences" yet they also downplayed yours?
A child-free woman is right, but what's new? Regretfully, so many people are insensitive, cruel morons either without kids or with kids. What really makes me mad are people who after having an one kid experience that is not a' cup of tea' for them, they keep making more children and screwing them up all. My pediatrician wanted to sterilize 75 % of human population. That for sure would made a world better place.
Really. It is NOT a competition. If your friends cannot be supportive, then get new friends.
It is MADDENING, though. I used to work in a crisis unit where clients regularly tried to set fire to s**t, assault me, commit crime and all sorts. I would be up all night dealing with incidents and then have to stay on shift because they were 48-hour shifts (we didn't get full pay at night because we were, supposedly, asleep). I remember coming from the Shift From Hell to my friend's birthday party and being told I couldn't be tired because I didn't have a baby. Luckily I was so shocked that I was unable to speak, and therefore avoided alienating anyone... But I will never forget the pure rage.
Not only that, but her "friends" are being unsupportive. They aren't listening to her or showing empathy. Everyone's experience is valid, not just the people with kids.
My two cents... same level of tired, it's a human function to need sleep. But parenting adds more levels to what is on your plate. But we conform to those requirements as parents. Just as a single person stretches themselves thin for work and other family obligations.
Neither my sister nor I have children and yet we still feel tired at the end of a long day. My mother was a working mother who went to college and she never told people that it was wrong for them to be tired because she knows that everyone can be tired. Not having children doesn't automatically mean that you can't be tired and having children doesn't give you a monopoly on being tired. It's not a contest and anyone can be and probably is tired. It's a natural thing.
I think there are different kinds of tired. There is tired from being overworked. Then there is tired from having to put the needs of a little growing human before your own. I am a middle school teacher and my goodness it takes so much to work with kids. I wish more people recognized how much work raising a kid truly is. Because if they did, hopefully more people would think twice before having kids. That being said, some parents are annoying when it comes to their kids. If you're not 100% invested in putting the needs of someone else before your own, then don't have kids. No matter what society expects you to do.
It’s so easy to dismiss someone else’s emotions because you think you relate or have it worse. But you never know what it exactly feels like to be in someone else’s shoes, so please stfu respectively. I need to improve on it too, sometimes I catch myself relating or comparing and then I stop.
I don't have any children but I smoke lots of weed, that's why I might be tired sometimes.
My dear mom who was a farmer's wife. She worked all day on the farm, came into the house to cook a warm meal for lunch, went back out after that. In the evening she canned fruits and veg, made jam, & looked after her flower beds. She sewed a lot of clothes for us as we didn't have a lot of money. She got up so early, got us off to school and then started that day all over again. When we were infants, she had to nurse us, change diapers, wash diapers ( oh ya fun). For a while she worked in a factory because we needed the money. The fact that this woman never claimed 'exhaustion or complained, or even just dropped in faint for all the work, leaves me astounded. Whenever I would complain of 11 hr work days and 3 jobs, I bit my tongue, because even that was not as much as what she did. Poor woman.
From personal experience, having small children taught me a new level of tired that I didn't know existed. Depends on how much support you have... we didn't have any family in town, that could help out. As a result, dealing with a small child is a 24 hour/7 day a week job. There is no coffee break, there is no weekend, there is no day off, and it doesn't stop just because you went to bed... it just goes on forever (well it felt like forever at the time. Now that my kids are "too cool" to spend time with me, I don't know what to do with my time) -- But that doesn't mean people without kids don't know tired. Some people work 30 hour shifts. Some people have health issues or medical procedures they are going through. I don't know their story, and I wouldn't presume I was more tired than they are.
She's just as 'dumb' and just replaced having kids with a demanding job. Also a choice...
plans to start a new contury i am not the best speller UNDERWATER WHERE ALL THIS CRAP IS ILLGEAL
Many people choose NOT to have kids because they know how difficult it. You don’t need to have kids to know how difficult it is.
Load More Replies...Work is a choice for the rich you bumblebee, choosing a job is for people privileged enough to have a good education
Load More Replies...Why the hell does it need to be a competition. Yes being a parent is tiring but so is a lot of other things. And not just people who work long, demanding or physical jobs but also people who are suffer with health issues, disabilities, even mental health issues. Don't need to compare who is more tired than who, it's just stupid.
I can't agree with you more. These are things they chose. Some things you don't chose. You don't chose illness, depression, war, poverty, stalkers, tough jobs you have to do for bare survival. This in this article is privilege talking.
Load More Replies...I suspect that the parents that constantly play that card are the ones that are suppressing resentment for having kids and are jealous of those without parental responsibilities. They may not even consciously realize it. Just mind your own damn business.
I wonder if they're also the same ones who tell you your life has no sense because you're childfree and that you will only understand the meaning of life, the universe and everything when you have children.
Load More Replies...I really don"t get the "I got it worse than you" -game. It is so effing stupid. We should support each other. I have a demanding job and a kid ---- and no goddamn monopoly on being tired. I was tired to death without a child and with a child. Made no difference.
Then throw in the "got it worse than you by proxy" competitors - "you can't be hungry, there's kids starving in Africa"; "you have a broken leg? My brother's got cancer"; " you've got cancer? My uncle is terminal". It's the negative version of the Elevenerife (as in, you've been to Tenerife...). It boils down to a lack of empathy - this could be down to tiredness it illness (I know if I'm not well my capacity for empathy is lower than normal), or it could be that they are just genuinely horrible people who aren't happy unless they are the centre of attention.
Load More Replies...I'm so glad everyone agreed that she's NTA. There is a certain type of mums that think they have it worse than anyone else and deserve praise and a gold medal. Everyone's life is different and you don't get to judge someone else and decide where they sit on the scale of tiredness, hardship or anything else.
When I complained about being tired and stressed to a colleague who has a child, I quickly added, "But then I don't have children" so I wouldn't sound insensitive and tone-deaf. She smiled and said, "That's a choice I made." I'm conscious of how much work and energy goes into raising children (for any good parent), but I've been fortunate in not meeting the martyr types (except my own mum, LOL).
Load More Replies...Single and childless people are often expected to pick up the slack when parents can't work late or on weekends to make deadlines. So sure, the parent is tired, but so is that non-parent working until 8:00 every night to get the job out on time.
oh and the she needs the vacation she has kids. like not having kids mean i dont have friend family social life and hobbies? i dont need vacation or what
Load More Replies...I remember that time in my early 30s (I'm 41 now and I don't have children by choice) when my friends started having kids and telling me exactly the same thing. Honestly I've always thought they were jealous of my freedom. Same with husbands: "oh you're single, so lucky, I have 100 shirts to wash and iron". 1st of all: who the hell irons. 2nd of all: doesn't your husband have hands to do his own chores? 3rd: dump him if married life is so unbearable
Always pisses me off that people tell me I can’t be tired—-or worse, don’t understand what goes into having and raising and looking out for children, just because I don’t have kids. I’m not stupid, I was a child once myself, and I have been learning about childbearing, child raising, and child psychology since my late teens, because I knew I wanted children. Not having children was not my choice. I had miscarriages instead of full term pregnancies, so their words hurt like daggers. My husband and I can’t afford adoption, and are now too old anyway. We are considering fostering, which could lead to adoption. But we need to get me back to work first, so that’s on a back burner for now. This last year has thrown a huge monkey wrench into our plans, and especially our budget. Even though I’m not working, believe me, I am exhausted all the time. Everybody’s exhausted right now. Stress will do that to you, and it’s been highly stressful for each and every one of us since March 2020.
This is another reason why comparison is not fair. Some are childless by choice, but some are not, and you don't always know what's going on with the person you're talking to.
Load More Replies...Knew a woman who would happily rail about how difficult the “job” of raising the 2 boys was. Now, I’m not saying raising kids is easy, but when you don’t have to go to a regular job to do the raising kids job because hubby is pulling down $10M/yr, and we’re sitting in the room with your tennis and golf tournament trophies, I’m saying it’s not that bad of a ‘job’. This was after she got $12M and the house in the divorce the minute the younger one went off to college. It’s a matter of perspective.
Just because this woman is rich and doesn't work outside the house it doesn't mean she can't have it tough and need somebody to listen sometimes.
Load More Replies...This is just like the other one "you don't have kids you don't understand.", when it comes to other kid's behaviour. Example I had one mother say that to me when she realised I was childless but I had the audacity to comment on her child who was running up and down the aisles of a shop screaming a pulling everything off the shelves. All I said was "you would think she'd do something to stop her child from acting that way" she asked if I had kids. I said no. Then you can't comment. How can you understand if you don't have kids." I just said "I can't fly a plane either but if I saw a plane a**e side up in a field somewhere I would know someone had f****d up somewhere", and walked off.
As someone with a chronic illness (kidney failure and go to dialysis 3 times/week for a total of 15 hours away from home), plus working a full time job, I know what tired is. I get it mentally from work and physically from dialysis. I'm guessing it's like being a parent. They get it mentally from whiney kids and physically from having to chase them around. But is it soul sucking? No. Dialysis sucks the soul from your body, I swear to god. Four hours in a recliner, not allowed to stand-up, can't move either arm, not allowed to eat or drink. Dialysis not only removes all the extra fluid from your body and the toxins that your kidney's can't, but it also removes all of the electrolytes and protein from your blood, so you are so drained and you've never known hunger like that before. Don't ever tell me you'd trade places with me because you wouldn't. Some people can't hack it, quit and then they die 4 days later. I've thought about it, a lot. Do having kids make you want to die? Doubt it.
I am sorry that you are ill. I really hate when healthy adults trat chronic illneses as if they are only in our heads. I have chronic fatigue (plus other stuff) and I am extremely week. Anything over 2k steps a day (about 30m walk the whole day) give mes several days of pain. Today I walked abour 1400 steps and I already feel feverish and I feel the muscle pain. How having kids is comparable to that?
Load More Replies...I’m pregnant and it’ll be my first kid so I have that level of tiredness to look forward to, but for now my job is mentally exhausting and my husband’s is physically. He often doesn’t believe me when I say I’m too tired to cook or clean after work. He always makes it seem like he’s the more tired one because he actually does physical labor. I often have to put my foot down because there is no level of tiredness physical or mental both can be equally tiring. Sure I probably couldn’t handle his job, but he wouldn’t be able to handle mine either.
How rude. Good on you for standing up to them. They don't need to agree with you, but they could at least keep their opinions to themselves. Jeez.
Sometimes I get talked down on by men because I still have my period. When I am in pain they tell me to man up and other s**t like that. I wish this would stop. Also when I say I am tired bc of the pain the men will say fall asleep early and maybe you won't be so tired. I do go to sleep early, but it's just the pains.
They tell you to “man up” period pain? Not that many men have ever experienced a period, to even know how to man up that kind of pain. Jeebus.
Load More Replies...I fckn HATE IT when parents assume they're the only people who are exhausted. Everyone has problems and personal struggles, and not having kids doesn't mean your life is a vacation. I have a son, but he's not the only reason I'm tired (though he's a little demon at times!!), and I would never even think of telling someone who's not a parent that their problems/struggles are less than mine or any other parent's.
This is kind of on the subject of comparing choices and lives but.. my brother and I both have depressive symptoms. Been that way for a long time. Now I know he didn't mean it, but he once said something that stuck with me. When I told him I had depression he said: "it can't be that bad if you're not laying in bed all the time and sleeping." Like there aren't different types if coping mechanisms. And I don't know that just kinda stuck. Sure you can share your own experiences but in no way should you try to say something like: "well my thing is more important because ." That's just being a goddamn jerk.
I have been hounded by people concerning my lack of children many times over the years. I have learned that the absolute WORST answer I could provide for my lack of these children was that "I had made a conscious choice not to have any". I was immediately branded a "child-hating-victim-of-abortions" and they would pray for my sins to be forgiven". (I had had a surgical procedure which had eliminated any possibility of my becoming pregnant years ago. I hope that they didn't hurt themselves leaping to their conclusion ).
I hear this kind of rhetoric ALL the time. I'm 38 and have not had kids. But I'm super ambitious and have filled my time with other things, other priorities. I try not to take it personally when I hear some dumbass joke about why someone doesn't have time because they have kids but its hard not to be annoyed at both the condescending nature of it and how much they take they beauty of their family for granted. I WISH I had already found a partner and had a home and some kiddos to raise but life didn't go that way for me. They are so lucky and lost all perspective on it...
Somebody told me you can handle everything on your plate ,but some people's plates are smaller but their stress and struggle are what they can handle.I don't think it should be a contest.Being a young female professional comes with a lot of stress,and with our current economy people are having to do more with less people.That being said , children will suck the soul from you ! My first child slept awesome.Slept through the night at 3 weeks,took naps etc.My second hell spawn woke up every single day at 5 am for the first five years of his life.The last child ,God made her extra cute,I assume so I wouldn't abandon her.(I am kidding people calm down).She didn't sleep through the night until she was five years old!She slept 4-6 hours a night,broken up,no naps and she was totally fine and happy.She's 18 now and I'm still tired.It's a different level of tired.Also the job is 24/7 with little to no breaks.I think they're just different kinds of tired. Both deserve validation
I would never laugh at the struggles parents have to go through. However, as a childfree person who has to watch, educate and feed 25 children for 9+ hours a day as a job, I laugh at those parents, who claim that they have it sooo much worse then anyone else and disregard others struggles.
mothers also think you can't possibly know anything about child rearing of you haven't given birth. I'm a freaking genius, I know all sorts of things. I have a niece who argues this theory. She's not the brightest light on the tree and has a HS diploma. her sister is an elementary school teacher, teacher of the year at her school this year and has taught for 15 years, has her masters. The mom insists the non-mom can't know as much b/c she hasn't given birth even though she deals with 25 of them all day long and has taught 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades. The teacher finally had a baby this year and their relationship has now improved. lol
This is usually said by parents with toddlers and babies - they forget there is a whole world out there that doesn’t revolve around them.
Lol. I can assure you, parents of babies and toddlers are extremely well aware that the world doesn't revolve around them, because thier world revolves around the baby - who, unfortunately have no flucking clue that anything outside themselves even exists.
Load More Replies...This is the stupid part of people. I am 5 months pregnant and currently work. Most people I know and have kids also havr a very stupid line " sleep now while you can cause after the baby..." i dont know how to tell them to f**k off. Having a child is a choice and if you have 3 and somebody doesent have a child but works 16 hours a day well you ate both right and tired. Those women are just assholes who want a statue. If u want a kid or decide to keep it then u do expect this.
"playing down with their experiences" yet they also downplayed yours?
A child-free woman is right, but what's new? Regretfully, so many people are insensitive, cruel morons either without kids or with kids. What really makes me mad are people who after having an one kid experience that is not a' cup of tea' for them, they keep making more children and screwing them up all. My pediatrician wanted to sterilize 75 % of human population. That for sure would made a world better place.
Really. It is NOT a competition. If your friends cannot be supportive, then get new friends.
It is MADDENING, though. I used to work in a crisis unit where clients regularly tried to set fire to s**t, assault me, commit crime and all sorts. I would be up all night dealing with incidents and then have to stay on shift because they were 48-hour shifts (we didn't get full pay at night because we were, supposedly, asleep). I remember coming from the Shift From Hell to my friend's birthday party and being told I couldn't be tired because I didn't have a baby. Luckily I was so shocked that I was unable to speak, and therefore avoided alienating anyone... But I will never forget the pure rage.
Not only that, but her "friends" are being unsupportive. They aren't listening to her or showing empathy. Everyone's experience is valid, not just the people with kids.
My two cents... same level of tired, it's a human function to need sleep. But parenting adds more levels to what is on your plate. But we conform to those requirements as parents. Just as a single person stretches themselves thin for work and other family obligations.
Neither my sister nor I have children and yet we still feel tired at the end of a long day. My mother was a working mother who went to college and she never told people that it was wrong for them to be tired because she knows that everyone can be tired. Not having children doesn't automatically mean that you can't be tired and having children doesn't give you a monopoly on being tired. It's not a contest and anyone can be and probably is tired. It's a natural thing.
I think there are different kinds of tired. There is tired from being overworked. Then there is tired from having to put the needs of a little growing human before your own. I am a middle school teacher and my goodness it takes so much to work with kids. I wish more people recognized how much work raising a kid truly is. Because if they did, hopefully more people would think twice before having kids. That being said, some parents are annoying when it comes to their kids. If you're not 100% invested in putting the needs of someone else before your own, then don't have kids. No matter what society expects you to do.
It’s so easy to dismiss someone else’s emotions because you think you relate or have it worse. But you never know what it exactly feels like to be in someone else’s shoes, so please stfu respectively. I need to improve on it too, sometimes I catch myself relating or comparing and then I stop.
I don't have any children but I smoke lots of weed, that's why I might be tired sometimes.
My dear mom who was a farmer's wife. She worked all day on the farm, came into the house to cook a warm meal for lunch, went back out after that. In the evening she canned fruits and veg, made jam, & looked after her flower beds. She sewed a lot of clothes for us as we didn't have a lot of money. She got up so early, got us off to school and then started that day all over again. When we were infants, she had to nurse us, change diapers, wash diapers ( oh ya fun). For a while she worked in a factory because we needed the money. The fact that this woman never claimed 'exhaustion or complained, or even just dropped in faint for all the work, leaves me astounded. Whenever I would complain of 11 hr work days and 3 jobs, I bit my tongue, because even that was not as much as what she did. Poor woman.
From personal experience, having small children taught me a new level of tired that I didn't know existed. Depends on how much support you have... we didn't have any family in town, that could help out. As a result, dealing with a small child is a 24 hour/7 day a week job. There is no coffee break, there is no weekend, there is no day off, and it doesn't stop just because you went to bed... it just goes on forever (well it felt like forever at the time. Now that my kids are "too cool" to spend time with me, I don't know what to do with my time) -- But that doesn't mean people without kids don't know tired. Some people work 30 hour shifts. Some people have health issues or medical procedures they are going through. I don't know their story, and I wouldn't presume I was more tired than they are.
She's just as 'dumb' and just replaced having kids with a demanding job. Also a choice...
plans to start a new contury i am not the best speller UNDERWATER WHERE ALL THIS CRAP IS ILLGEAL
Many people choose NOT to have kids because they know how difficult it. You don’t need to have kids to know how difficult it is.
Load More Replies...Work is a choice for the rich you bumblebee, choosing a job is for people privileged enough to have a good education
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