Internet Turns On Woman Who Refused To Swap Christmas Leave With Mom For No Reason
Do you like doing good deeds? Me too. It feels nice to sometimes be on the giving end of the whole “my faith in humanity has been restored” thing, instead of receiving, or, more generally, losing more and more of that faith every time you open a news site.
Unfortunately, not everyone is like you or me – some people just don’t care about being do-gooders, even if it would take them next to zero effort to make someone’s day or even their week a hundred times brighter — just like this poster who wouldn’t swap X-mas leave with a mom for no good reason. Go figure.
More info: Reddit
A woman caught the ire of both her family and the internet after categorically refusing to swap Christmas leave with a coworker for seemingly no reason
Image credits: RF._.studio (not the actual photo)
The place where the poster works gives new hires priority for their annual Christmas leave
Image credits: Any Lane (not the actual photo)
Although the poster in her own words “doesn’t care” about Christmas leave, she refused to swap it with a mom who would rather spend the time with her kids
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
Her refusing to swap is even stranger after she mentions that she won’t be seeing family during those days and will simply spend the time without her phone
Image credits: u/Weak_Ordinary_9324
After being chastised for her choice by her sister, the poster took it online to figure out whether she was the jerk here
If you came here looking for a happy-go-lucky Christmas story, I implore you to turn back while you still have hope! On the other hand, if you’re here to read some slightly upsetting Christmas-themed drama, you’re right where you should be, so hunker down, ideally with a tall drink of something festive.
The poster of this story had briskly passed the crossroads stage of any interpersonal conflict and firmly halted at the “wait, am I the bad guy?” stop.
You see, she was a new employee at her job, where they give new hires their first Christmas off. All was well and good until a couple of days later, a coworker came up to her, asking if she’d be available to swap leaves as she’s got kids and would like to spend the holidays with them.
The post’s author, admittedly, has no plans for her days off, won’t be visiting family, and, in her own words, “doesn’t celebrate Christmas and doesn’t care if she works Christmas or not.”
If you’re like me, this revelation is quite the head-scratcher. I mean, the OP admits to all that, doesn’t give a single viable reason for not swapping, and, going by her text, doesn’t feel that she’s doing anything wrong at all. After one comment went and pointed all of this out, asking her what she’d be losing by moving the date of her holidays, she replied with “Because I don’t see the need to switch even though I’m childless. Once it’s booked I’m not changing annual leave.” Thus this whole thing goes from head-scratcher to forehead-furrower, and single-eyebrow-raiser.
Pretty predictably, that reply earned the poster over 1.5k downvotes. Honestly, it’s quite impressive to be able to arrive at an opinion so grossly despised, so she has that going, at least.
It appears as if the poster really saw nothing wrong whatsoever with this move until her sister who has kids said that it’s “a bit selfish,” empathizing with the poor mom who will have to work Christmas while her kids spend it without her. Many pointed at OP’s weirdness related to her mentioning the fact that she’s childfree and so she shouldn’t be forced to “give up” her time off just because of that – which seems very strange and spiteful when you consider that it’s not about the kids, but her literally not caring about Christmas celebrations.
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
With all this in mind, I’m certain that every budding business owner and manager has had to make some difficult decisions regarding giving people leave in their time. This is likely especially true if they’re an empathetic person and they feel as if some people are more “deserving” of specific days off.
It’s understandable, though, being biased like this is only human, but a biased manager doesn’t really make for a good one. BrightHR suggests that parents shouldn’t get priority treatment when planning their leave, as this may cause upset with the rest of the staff, feeling very much like unfair treatment to the childfree peeps. The absolute best way to circumvent this is to make your annual leave system as bias-free as possible – perhaps on a first-come, first-served basis or by rotating who gets first pick.
There are also ways to make up for depriving parents of their holiday leave – possibly by giving them more flexibility, so they can come in earlier, finishing their work and leaving to be with their families. Another great way to make working during the holidays a little less upsetting to them is by letting them work remote, if possible, so they can be with their kiddos the moment they clock out.
At the end of the day, as a manager, you have to be consistent, so if you do take measures such as this, make sure they are applied equally to everyone in your team, lest you run the risk of people becoming inflamed at others being given preferential treatment.
In all likelihood, you, dear reader, aren’t a manager, so this whole story isn’t a question of correct management practices, but rather of pretty simple morals – if you don’t give a single lick about the holidays, why just not swap with the poor parent, even if there will be a tiny administrative headache? It’s likely that HR will take care of it anyway.
This was the train of thought for most of the commenters on the author’s posts, as she was decisively voted to be the jerk in this situation. Perhaps there is more to this story than has been already said or meets the eye, but with the poster’s account being suspended for one reason or another we may never know. A true Christmas jerk-holeness mystery.
Despite that, the post created buzz in the AITA community, with over 5.5k upvotes and more than 3.5k comments. What are your thoughts about the woman? Would you have swapped leaves? Or would you rather say that she was justified? Let us know down below.
The comments judged her to be the jerk, saying that if she doesn’t care, she should have just swapped, but there were others who thought different
My mother had a brilliant way of solving Christmas leave when my brothers and I were still young children. She managed a retail store, and her deal was if childless employees would work Christmas Eve and the 26th, she would work New Years Eve and New Year’s Day. That way mom’s could be home with their kids, and the singles could go out and party. It worked like a charm every year and everyone was happy. Of course this was 40 years ago, so I don’t know if it would work now.
That was a policy at a place I worked at years ago and it was a no for me when I was young. I wanted to spend Christmas Eve and Boxing Day with my parents, sisters and extended family and I could care less about New Years.
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It's true that the OP was under no obligation to trade vacation days. However, by some definitions of AH, she is one, without a doubt. If you refuse a friendly request just because "I don't have to!" when it costs you very little, if anything, qualifies. In a few months she'll probably be posting wondering why none of her co-workers like her, and she can't understand why.
This exactly. She wasn't being asked to give up her leave, just swap it for another time. As I often say, being kind costs nothing. It would have been kind to swap and also makes better relationships with co-workers. I would be willing to bet next time she asks this person for a favour they will not get a 'sure, no problem,' in reply.
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The a**hole thing was letting anyone one that she didn't care if she worked or not. It's your time off and you don't have to give it away for any reason but rubbing it in like that was just mean.
Same. I regularly encounter situations where I don’t care about a specific holiday, and in those cases I just make sure I’m getting time off elsewhere. It doesn’t have to be a big drama.
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My mother had a brilliant way of solving Christmas leave when my brothers and I were still young children. She managed a retail store, and her deal was if childless employees would work Christmas Eve and the 26th, she would work New Years Eve and New Year’s Day. That way mom’s could be home with their kids, and the singles could go out and party. It worked like a charm every year and everyone was happy. Of course this was 40 years ago, so I don’t know if it would work now.
That was a policy at a place I worked at years ago and it was a no for me when I was young. I wanted to spend Christmas Eve and Boxing Day with my parents, sisters and extended family and I could care less about New Years.
Load More Replies... It's true that the OP was under no obligation to trade vacation days. However, by some definitions of AH, she is one, without a doubt. If you refuse a friendly request just because "I don't have to!" when it costs you very little, if anything, qualifies. In a few months she'll probably be posting wondering why none of her co-workers like her, and she can't understand why.
This exactly. She wasn't being asked to give up her leave, just swap it for another time. As I often say, being kind costs nothing. It would have been kind to swap and also makes better relationships with co-workers. I would be willing to bet next time she asks this person for a favour they will not get a 'sure, no problem,' in reply.
Load More Replies... The a**hole thing was letting anyone one that she didn't care if she worked or not. It's your time off and you don't have to give it away for any reason but rubbing it in like that was just mean.
Same. I regularly encounter situations where I don’t care about a specific holiday, and in those cases I just make sure I’m getting time off elsewhere. It doesn’t have to be a big drama.
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