Stepdad Tries To Control Woman’s Clothes And House Guests, She Hands Him A Bill Instead

Adult children living with their parents is nothing strange. According to a 2024 U.S. census, about one in three adults aged 18-34 live with at least one parent. But what’s a bit more unusual is when parents come back to live with their young adult children.

This 27-year-old woman took in her mother and stepfather when they hit a rough patch, but soon came to regret it. The stepdad treated her like a kid living in his house, so, when she couldn’t take his comments any longer, she decided to confront him.

A 27-year-old woman got into a yelling match with her stepdad for being too controlling

Stepdad arguing with a 27-year-old woman at home, both using expressive gestures near a large window.

Image credits: zinkevych (not the actual image)

As he and her mother were the ones who moved into her house, she wasn’t about to be told what to do in her own home

Text discussing a stepdad attempting to control a 27-year-old woman in her own house, questioning about charging rent.

Text about a 27YO woman discussing her stepdad moving in, living arrangements, and recent challenges.

Text about a stepdad working part-time, mentioning his lack of full-time employment.

Text suggesting issues arose during a 2-week vacation, relating to a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman.

Text excerpt discussing stepdad's attempts to control a 27-year-old woman's choices in her own home.

Woman in casual shorts and top standing in living room, highlighting independence and control at home.

Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)

Text image about stepdad's frequent comments on woman's clothing choices.

Text discussing conflict between a stepdad and a 27-year-old woman over household control issues.

Text discussing a mom not supporting a stepdad's control over a 27-year-old woman's decisions in her own house.

Text conversation about a stepdad emotionally reacting after a visitor leaves at 11 pm, related to control issues.

Text describing stepdad's rules and control in a household setting.

Text discussing a 27-year-old woman's response to stepdad's control attempt in her house.

Text reading, "I told him that the days of him making unsolicited comments at me need to end," about a stepdad's control issues.

Woman in a beige sweater expressing strong emotions, gesturing assertively.

Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection (not the actual image)

Text about a woman asserting independence from her stepdad by setting rent terms in her own house.

Text about a woman explaining how she calmed her mom during a dispute with her stepdad.

A woman managing finances at home, writing in a notebook, counting cash, with a blue calculator nearby.

Image credits: Photo By: Kaboompics.com (not the actual image)

Text discussing the decision to charge rent for a stay, mentioning it would ease life for the person addressed.

Text describes conflict with stepdad about living arrangements.

Image credits: Similar_Dig2585

Finance experts suggest not charging rent, but encouraging family members to work and learn to budget

It can be hard to navigate boundaries when family members suddenly move in. Especially when those family members are authority figures like parents or stepparents. Just like what happened in this story, they might get territorial or revert back to parent mode, forgetting that the adult child is not a child anymore.

When it comes to letting family members move in, experts recommend setting very firm boundaries. Personal finance expert and radio host David Ramsey claims that those who take in family members who have hit a rough patch need to give them a very clear deadline of when they have to move out.

In most cases, Ramsey says, four to six months is a good period of time to let family members crash with you. “But don’t let this thing drag on with no definitive end in sight,” he warns. “That will only cause trouble and hard feelings down the road.”

He’s also against asking the family members to pay rent. While asking for rent might sound fair to some and establish a more official, almost landlord-tenant dynamic, it doesn’t help to set a specific date by which they have to move out.

Ramsey suggests demanding a clear plan from them: that means working and figuring out their finances so they can start living on a budget. “Don’t charge them rent, because the ‘rent’ will be that they work and go over their finances with you,” he clarifies.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

Family members shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for financial help

This situation can be difficult for the parents, too. Perhaps they’re feeling ashamed that they have to ask for financial help from their daughter, and those feelings of inadequacy manifest themselves in the form of controlling behavior for the stepdad.

In a previous interview for Bored Panda, financial therapist Nathan Astle, LMFT, CFT – I™, said that there’s no shame in seeking help from family members. “It isn’t abnormal for people to need help from their family. That isn’t inherently wrong or problematic.”

“Never let shame, guilt, or embarrassment [stop you] from seeking help. Even if your family doesn’t respond in the way you hope, you’re never in the wrong for seeking help. We aren’t supposed to do everything alone!”

When in doubt, Astle also suggests putting everything down in writing. “It isn’t a bad idea to get the agreement in writing just to make it feel more clear. I know it might seem like overkill, but clarity is key to safeguarding your family from bad feelings in the future.”

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

Many people agreed with the daughter and thought the stepdad was acting pretty weird: “[He] has a thing for you”

Reddit discussion about stepdad's control over a 27-year-old woman living in her own house.

Reddit discussion about stepdad trying to control a woman's independence in her own house.

Reddit post discussing a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman in her own house.

Comments about controlling a 27-year-old woman prompt humorous responses online.

Stepdad's control and tension in a 27-year-old woman's house discussed in Reddit comments.

A Reddit comment thread discussing control issues with a stepdad regarding a 27-year-old woman's independence.

Reddit comments discussing a stepdad's control over a 27-year-old woman in her own house.

Text post advising how to manage a controlling stepdad in personal space issues.

Text detailing steps for dealing with controlling stepdad, including driving away and seeking protection.

Text exchange about a stepdad attempting to control a 27-year-old woman's choices in her own house.

Reddit comment discusses stepdad's control issues in a woman's house.

Reddit conversation about stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman in her own house, discussing tenant rights and boundaries.

Reddit comments about tenant rights and controlling stepdad in a 27-year-old woman's house.

Reddit comments discussing a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman's life choices in her own home.

Text exchange discussing a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman, with emphasis on "my house, my rules" sentiment.

Reddit comments discussing control issues; user suggests kicking someone out due to harassment concerns.

Reddit discussion about a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman's decisions on rent and independence.

Reddit thread discussing possible issues with a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman in her own house.

Discussion about a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman, addressing comments on her sexuality and independence.

Comment exchange about a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old woman and her response in her own home.

Online discussion about controlling stepdad and boundaries for a 27-year-old woman.

A Reddit discussion about stepdad control issues, featuring comments defending a 27-year-old woman's autonomy at home.

Others believed the daughter was being a jerk, but cited different reasons

Comment criticizing stepdad's control over a 27-year-old woman in a family dispute.

Comment on a forum post about a stepdad trying to control a 27-year-old living in her own house.

Text criticizing rent as punishment and suggesting ignoring stepdad's comments, advising against establishing a landlord role.

And some folks thought all three should look in the mirror: “You all have some issues”

Text describing advice on dealing with controlling stepdad in one's own house.

Reddit comment discussing a 27-year-old woman's conflict with her stepdad.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!