Bride Refuses To Have Sign Language Interpreter At The Altar When Asked By Groom’s Family
Planning a wedding can be both exciting as well as quite stressful, trying to make sure that both the couple and their guests can enjoy the celebration.
At least such was the issue in this Redditor’s family when she asked to have a sign interpreter at her brother’s wedding, yet the bride wanted to only have the couple on stage during the ceremony, sparking a discussion online.
More info: Reddit
A woman asked to have a sign interpreter at her brother’s wedding, sparking a discussion
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The groom’s sister asked for a British Sign Language interpreter so that she, her husband, and their son could follow the vows
Image credits: u/GullibleSandwich444
Image credits: sergio souza (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/GullibleSandwich444
The sister suggested either a professional interpreter or her oldest sister, who is fluent in British Sign Language
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
Yet the bride refused as she wanted only the couple exchanging vows on stage
A woman brought her disagreement with her future sister-in-law to the Reddit AITA community online, asking if she was the jerk to ask for a British Sign Language interpreter during the wedding ceremony.
The woman explained that due to her deafness since she was 6 years old, and her husband and their 8-year-old son being deaf as well, she asked the soon-to-be-married couple to have an interpreter on stage so that they could follow the vows.
The groom’s sister gave a few suggestions, which included either hiring an interpreter from outside the family or having her older sister as an interpreter, yet she was told no, as the bride wanted just her and the groom on stage.
The sister, on the other hand, found the option of the interpreter standing next to her inconvenient
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
The groom told his sister he will see what he can do, while she shared she would most likely attend anyway; however, probably without her son
According to the World Health Organization, the effects of unaddressed hearing loss and deafness may include a loss of the ability to communicate with others, delayed language development in children, social isolation, and loneliness; it may affect a person’s academic performance, options for employment, and the global economy.
Finally, Forbes discussed improvements that can help to ensure communication is more accessible to people with deafness, and these included using text or visual information, such as live captioning, increased availability of interpreters in public places, and the use of positive communication strategies, such as facing the individual with hearing loss, ensuring good lighting in the room, and keeping objects away from one’s face when speaking.
Coming back to the original story, the woman’s post gathered 10.3k upvotes on Reddit and people judged she was not the jerk for asking to have an interpreter, yet some commenters suggested she could have accepted an interpreter standing next to her family and not next to the couple.
What’s your take on the situation? Please, share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
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Tbh, as the bride, I'd hate that. You need to at least somewhat face the direction you sign, when during the vows, I'd want my husband to face me, with his undivided attention in me. I mean, this isn't dinner conversation, these are the wedding vows, from husband to wive, there really is one clear recipient in this interaction. I get not getting to be the main center of attention in life, even in your wedding, but during the vows (!) I'd like to be my husbands sole center of attention just for what, 3 minutes?
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Did everyone read OP's reply to one of the comments above? She doesn't want the interpreter near her. She wants to be looking at the interpreter and the bride and groom at the same time, which means the interpreter would need to be up front near the wedding party. In my opinion this puts her firmly into the AH corner. She not only wants an interpreter there, which is perfectly reasonable, she also wants to dictate where the interpreter stands.
I don’t understand why she can’t read the vows and still watch. If they get given the vows on paper then it’ll take a couple of seconds to read them, then she can watch the vows as it happens. Or read them all before they start talking so she knows what’s being said. Or have an interpreter sitting near OP but in the direction of the stage so she can watch them both. Plus when someone asked her whether bride has learnt any sign language, I felt she was a bit judgmental when saying no (like the bride should have). I would definitely learn hello, goodbye and some basics but if my fiancé was fluent and we rarely saw OP’s family (she doesn’t say how close they live) then expecting the bride to learn sign language is a bit much. Nice if she wants to but it’s not necessary or rude not to. Sounds like the bride was offering alternatives but OP said no to them.
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I've never really understood this idea that a wedding is "the bride's day". What about the groom? What about family? You want these people to be there to celebrate, but won't accommodate them. And honestly, a lot of the YTA answers scream ableist to me, people who have never needed to be accommodated in their life. When I got married to my husband, one of his cousins asked if it would be okay for his son, which is autistic and nervous around other people, to sit alone far behind the rest of the guests during the ceremony. We said that would absolutely be okay. Was it distracting for the rest of the guests? We had several people asking us afterwards what was up with the kid in the chair, but once it was explained to them no one talked about it again. And no one was looking at him during the ceremony, all eyes were front and center watching us. The same would happen here. The interpreter can stand at the front a little off to the side, so OP can see both the wedding and the interpreter.
Tbh, as the bride, I'd hate that. You need to at least somewhat face the direction you sign, when during the vows, I'd want my husband to face me, with his undivided attention in me. I mean, this isn't dinner conversation, these are the wedding vows, from husband to wive, there really is one clear recipient in this interaction. I get not getting to be the main center of attention in life, even in your wedding, but during the vows (!) I'd like to be my husbands sole center of attention just for what, 3 minutes?
Load More Replies... Did everyone read OP's reply to one of the comments above? She doesn't want the interpreter near her. She wants to be looking at the interpreter and the bride and groom at the same time, which means the interpreter would need to be up front near the wedding party. In my opinion this puts her firmly into the AH corner. She not only wants an interpreter there, which is perfectly reasonable, she also wants to dictate where the interpreter stands.
I don’t understand why she can’t read the vows and still watch. If they get given the vows on paper then it’ll take a couple of seconds to read them, then she can watch the vows as it happens. Or read them all before they start talking so she knows what’s being said. Or have an interpreter sitting near OP but in the direction of the stage so she can watch them both. Plus when someone asked her whether bride has learnt any sign language, I felt she was a bit judgmental when saying no (like the bride should have). I would definitely learn hello, goodbye and some basics but if my fiancé was fluent and we rarely saw OP’s family (she doesn’t say how close they live) then expecting the bride to learn sign language is a bit much. Nice if she wants to but it’s not necessary or rude not to. Sounds like the bride was offering alternatives but OP said no to them.
Load More Replies... I've never really understood this idea that a wedding is "the bride's day". What about the groom? What about family? You want these people to be there to celebrate, but won't accommodate them. And honestly, a lot of the YTA answers scream ableist to me, people who have never needed to be accommodated in their life. When I got married to my husband, one of his cousins asked if it would be okay for his son, which is autistic and nervous around other people, to sit alone far behind the rest of the guests during the ceremony. We said that would absolutely be okay. Was it distracting for the rest of the guests? We had several people asking us afterwards what was up with the kid in the chair, but once it was explained to them no one talked about it again. And no one was looking at him during the ceremony, all eyes were front and center watching us. The same would happen here. The interpreter can stand at the front a little off to the side, so OP can see both the wedding and the interpreter.
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