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Couple’s Bizarre Requests And Inappropriate Pre-Wedding Cards Upset Family And Guests
Sometimes, inviting everyone you’d like to see at your wedding is simply impossible; be it because of financial or other constraints, an extensive list might have to be cut down a little.
When this redditor’s cousin was planning their big day, they realized that they couldn’t invite everyone they wanted, so they decided to send out ‘you’re uninvited’ cards. That alone was puzzling to the redditor, but what took them aback even more was that the soon-to-be-married handed out tasks for those who did make it to the invitee list. Scroll down to find the full story below.
RELATED:
Getting married is a wonderful moment, which many happy couples want to share with their loved ones
Image credits: maxbelchenko/Envato (not the actual photo)
This couple couldn’t invite everyone they wanted to see at their wedding, so they decided to hand out ‘you’re uninvited’ cards
Image credits: avanti_photo/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: joyousfoodie
Setting the budget is a crucial part of wedding planning
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Until you find yourself in that position, you might think that wedding planning is nothing but fun and romantic (particularly if you have dreamt about the big day since the 5th grade). But it can also get incredibly stressful, or even upsetting, too, especially when you realize that you can’t have certain things you dreamt of while in said 5th grade; like 300 people on the invitee list.
Being an adult and realizing that there’s finances at play, too (and not only dreams and ideas scribbled in the dusty scrapbook), might significantly influence certain wedding-related decisions. That’s why it’s crucial for the happy couple to discuss their wedding budget in advance and make sure they’re on the same page.
Studies on people’s financial goals reveal that quite a few couples not only discuss finances before the wedding, but join them before saying “I do”, too. According to A Brides & Investopedia study from 2021, close to half of surveyed couples in the US, who are planning their wedding, already have joint accounts before the big day; three-in-five of them say that they regularly talk about money, too.
Wedding guest lists often include over a hundred names
Image credits: Ahmed ツ/Pexels (not the actual photo)
If you’re wondering how big of a chunk weddings tend to take from a couple’s budget, The Knot revealed that the average cost of a wedding last year stood at around $35,000 USD. According to said source, the venue and the catering seem to be the two largest financial burdens; and bearing in mind that the size of both is directly linked to the number of guests, it’s no surprise that they might require shortening the invitee list a little.
If you’re now wondering about the size of the invitee list, a year ago, the average number on such a list was 115. The Knot reports that the majority of happy couples—57%, to be exact—invite 101+ guests to celebrate their big day; close to a third (30%) invite somewhere between 51 and 100, and only 13% of couples opt for a celebration of less than 50 people.
While sending a ‘Save the Date’ card for people on the guest list—no matter how big or small—is a usual practice, handing out ‘You’re Not Invited’ cards is arguably not that common. That’s likely why the redditor was rather surprised to hear that that’s exactly what her relative did. In addition to that, they also had tasks assigned to those who did make it to the ‘invited’ column, which the OP was quite puzzled over. Fellow redditors found that odd, too; they shared their views in the comments.
Netizens shared their thoughts in the comments, some considered it all tacky
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What do you think ?
Philenzortia 1 year ago (edited)
Here it was customary to send cards called "Participación" I guess in english the name would be Participation Card. They where sent to people that you couldn't invite to your wedding but you wanted to let them know that you are getting married. They are usually send before the ceremony (2-4 weeks). It is not rude at all, just a small courtesy tellling you why you're not invited but that the couple though of you and wanted to let you know about the event. It doesn't mean that you have to send any gifts or anything. They aren't very common now because they are expensive.
DarkViolet 1 year ago
How. Inconsiderate. This is just plain RUDE. An uninvite is what you send to people that you DON'T want to attend your wedding, not to "loved ones." If I ever received something so callous, I would slam the door on that friendship SO fast, it would rattle teeth in Kyrgyzstan.
Marcellus II 1 year ago
"Afterwards the guests will be too drunk to clean up" --- ah ah ah, that's where you're wrong, you're assuming there's free drinks!!!
GirlFriday 1 year ago
My brother's second wedding is coming up. They were planning on inviting family only, which, with my family - immediate family only is 56 people (that is all 12 of my brothers, their spouses or partners, and children, and my parents) and having the family decorate, cook, and clean up afterwards. All they had to do was enjoy the day. I sat the couple down and explained that if were expecting to travel, stay in hotels, and get dressed up for the wedding, they better not have people working, too.
Fire Singer 1 year ago
I'm pretty big on do what you want for your wedding, but this sounds terrible. As someone who attended a wedding where we were running errands the day of (one of which was getting linens that my husband had to put on his credit card because neither the bride or groom put their card down and then having to threaten to have my mom get into the grooms account since he was my brother and send me the money because he "didn't have it"), then having to set up and clean up between the ceremony and reception and the end of the event I can tell you now, don't go. It is not worth it. Even for family. It's just their way to abuse free labor.
Debbie 1 year ago (edited)
Going against the grain - while a clear "you are uninvited" is rude, announcing you are getting married (but not inviting) isn't imo. With funerals people here often send it cards and those who are invited to the funeral and/or reception will receive an additional note in the card. But being able to invite everyone isn't bad. Wanting to share excitement Scott a big day isn't either imo. Not sure how you would announce marriage and not invite someone though. If the achievement isn't cheese then people will show up as they think the announcement is the invitation. How would you do it? (Not being able to invite everyone but wanting to share that your getting married)
Philenzortia 1 year ago (edited)
Here it was customary to send cards called "Participación" I guess in english the name would be Participation Card. They where sent to people that you couldn't invite to your wedding but you wanted to let them know that you are getting married. They are usually send before the ceremony (2-4 weeks). It is not rude at all, just a small courtesy tellling you why you're not invited but that the couple though of you and wanted to let you know about the event. It doesn't mean that you have to send any gifts or anything. They aren't very common now because they are expensive.
DarkViolet 1 year ago
How. Inconsiderate. This is just plain RUDE. An uninvite is what you send to people that you DON'T want to attend your wedding, not to "loved ones." If I ever received something so callous, I would slam the door on that friendship SO fast, it would rattle teeth in Kyrgyzstan.
Marcellus II 1 year ago
"Afterwards the guests will be too drunk to clean up" --- ah ah ah, that's where you're wrong, you're assuming there's free drinks!!!
GirlFriday 1 year ago
My brother's second wedding is coming up. They were planning on inviting family only, which, with my family - immediate family only is 56 people (that is all 12 of my brothers, their spouses or partners, and children, and my parents) and having the family decorate, cook, and clean up afterwards. All they had to do was enjoy the day. I sat the couple down and explained that if were expecting to travel, stay in hotels, and get dressed up for the wedding, they better not have people working, too.
Fire Singer 1 year ago
I'm pretty big on do what you want for your wedding, but this sounds terrible. As someone who attended a wedding where we were running errands the day of (one of which was getting linens that my husband had to put on his credit card because neither the bride or groom put their card down and then having to threaten to have my mom get into the grooms account since he was my brother and send me the money because he "didn't have it"), then having to set up and clean up between the ceremony and reception and the end of the event I can tell you now, don't go. It is not worth it. Even for family. It's just their way to abuse free labor.
Debbie 1 year ago (edited)
Going against the grain - while a clear "you are uninvited" is rude, announcing you are getting married (but not inviting) isn't imo. With funerals people here often send it cards and those who are invited to the funeral and/or reception will receive an additional note in the card. But being able to invite everyone isn't bad. Wanting to share excitement Scott a big day isn't either imo. Not sure how you would announce marriage and not invite someone though. If the achievement isn't cheese then people will show up as they think the announcement is the invitation. How would you do it? (Not being able to invite everyone but wanting to share that your getting married)
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