Bride Wouldn’t Let Grandparents-In-Law Ruin Her Wedding With Their ‘Special’ Moment, Gets Dragged
Interview With Expert
Music is an integral part of celebrations, and weddings are no exception. Musical choices on such a special occasion have the power to affect the mood and set the overall atmosphere of the event. And this can look very different, depending on the couple’s preferences.
This bride picked fast-paced songs for her special day to energize the guests. However, the grandparents-in-law thought it would be nice to request their wedding track, which was much slower than she liked. The moment this melody reached her ears, the bride came rushing to shut it down. Such behavior didn’t sit well with her husband’s family, causing a whole ordeal.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with wedding and event lead planner Kathleen Swift and wedding DJ Matthew Reate, who kindly agreed to tell us more about song requests at special celebrations.
Couples may consider allowing song requests at their wedding. However, this bride was completely against it
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
The moment her perfect wedding playlist was disturbed by a slow song, she came rushing to shut it down
Image credits: Sarah Noltner (not the actual photo)
Most couples want more control over their music
To learn more about the music scene at weddings, Bored Panda reached out to wedding and event lead planner Kathleen Swift and wedding DJ Matthew Reate. According to Reate, allowing guests to request songs depends on the couple. “Some don’t mind at all, while others, especially in NYC with high-earning clients, can be quite particular. They often have a “do not play” list, which is crucial for me to follow. I’m there to balance their needs with the vibe of the party, using my judgment as needed.”
Meanwhile, Swift says, “Requesting a song is usually fine at weddings, as long as guests are respectful! Some couples will even ask guests for their song requests on the invitation or through their wedding website to ensure everyone has something fun to dance to.
Whether the couple asks or not, it’s generally ok for guests to request a song from the DJ once the dance floor is open. As a guest, you know the couple pretty well if you’re invited to the wedding, so use your best judgment if you think this would bother them. If I were a plus one for a wedding where I did not personally know the couple, I would refrain from requesting a song in that case.”
Now, to have a no-song request policy at such a celebration, the bride and groom really have to know their guests as well as their musical tastes. If they decide on a playlist that the guests will appreciate, then there’s really nothing wrong with that, as everyone will likely have an opportunity to get on the dance floor at some point or another.
However, when this isn’t the case, guests may be more eager to take their suggestions to the DJ, which may clash with the preferences of the couple and stir up some unwanted disagreements.
Image credits: Thomas AE (not the actual photo)
There are a few things wedding guests should know before requesting a song
In cases where guests do have the liberty of expressing their musical preferences, they might want to know a couple of things before anyone finds their requests infuriating or rude.
If you wish to hear your own special or wedding track, Reate recommends checking in with the couple first, as these suggestions are usually very specific. Meanwhile, Swift says, “If it is a song that holds a special memory for you or is an inside joke, it should only be requested if the couple is part of that memory/joke and there are enough other guests involved that it won’t empty the dance floor.”
However, she emphasizes, “Never request a song that is going to focus attention on yourself or someone other than the couple. The goal of the night is to celebrate the two people who just got married, so any song requests should be something that they enjoy! Never embarrass the couple or try to upstage them.”
To remain on the DJ’s good side, you may also want to be flexible and understanding. Reate notes, “A request doesn’t always mean it will be played. Between keeping the event on schedule and managing moments like the cake-cutting, it’s easy to miss some. The main focus is on the flow of the event and the guests’ enjoyment.
Swift also reminds guests to respect the person playing the music. “Only request a song once. If your song isn’t played after that, drop it. As a guest, you don’t know what instructions the couple gave the DJ. They may want to stick with a certain vibe or have a list of “Do Not Play” songs that the DJ is following.
You can be sure that the couple hired a professional they trust, so the DJ has the final say on the songs, and you can trust that they have a reason for playing or not playing each song. Please do not harass them if they are not playing your song request!”
She concludes by saying, “The DJ has put a lot of time into curating a playlist based on the couple’s preferences, so spend some time on the dance floor enjoying yourself!”
Image credits: Mitchell Orr (not the actual photo)
Commenters saw the bride as the one who was in the wrong
Later, the author provided an update
Image credits: itwasmywedding
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This is hilarious. Even when everyone confirms she’s the AH she still kicks off and tells everyone where to go. She calls her husband’s parents narcissists yet can’t take any criticism. Needs to buy a mirror and take a good long look in it.
Hahaha, was thinking the same! Comes to Reddit, probably certain they were gonna agree with her and when they didn't it was all like "yeah i don't care what you think anyways". She sounds like a peach.
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Her update doesn't sound like she understood anything or even tried or wanted to see another point of view.
I don't think she ever thought she might have been in the wrong, that's why sh'es focusing on the on-line bullying in her update instead of indicating whether she has changed her mind. Still, the on-line bullying is just wrong, however you frame it. People who do this are cowards, often can't string a whole grammatical sentence together and have no idea of the harm they can inflict. Or perhaps they do and like the tittilation that comes with the idea that you can hound someone to their death and still tell yourself you had nothing to do with it. Sorry for this, but people who bully on-line are the lowest of the low.
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That update doesn't make her look any better. Taking other peoples wants and needs into account is not always being bullied into submission.
Ok I won't call you a bridezilla, I'll call you an unempathetic (is that a word/the right word?), selfish, egoistic, short sighted, self-centered, closed minded and sour person that doesn't want to share joy with people who are not exactly like you. (yes I said things twice, maybe it gets the message across).
Yanno, I bet a lot of people there would have enjoyed a slower number. I wouldn't dance with my partner to something fast, but a slow dance? For sure. I feel so bad for the grandparents.
Agreed - I like to dance but don't have the stamina for hours of fast dancing
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It's useless. She's not gonna get it. One could flatten oneself into a pancake trying to explain to her what she did wrong, but it won't help. She didn't get it then, she isn't getting it now, she will never get it. It would be easier talking to a wall.
So... based on her update, she's learned nothing. She is the AH, a HUGE AH.
It's just as well since she's absolutely full of s**t.
Load More Replies... How is bridezilla sexist? Is she not a bride is she not terrible. The same thing plays for a male. If you're a groom and you're terrible you're a groomzilla. It's like saying boys and girls men and women, male and female are sexist terms. Not only is she terrible but she is stupid also.
I'm so glad I don't know this person. Couldn't play a song for a few minutes for an elderly couple. I don't care that it's your wedding day you are a selfish person.
This bride might do well to remember that in 'wedding' the 'we' comes before the 'i'. She was being more than a little bit selfish. I feel sorry for her husband.
She's clearly in the wrong. Like one song? Grandparents wanting one dance? That's beautiful, not a reason to throw a fit.
Wow, OP doubles down even after being told she's TA (for obvious reasons). I've been to quite a few weddings since the lockdown shut down but never had there been a string of fast songs at any of them. If anything, even the younger newlyweds requested sentimental pieces so everyone could dance or enjoy along. Plus, she didn't even pay for the wedding and is whining and moaning about one song that's about like what, 4 minutes tops??? I seriously hope her hubby realizes what he's gotten himself into. If she doesn't even have the patience for one song, imagine how patient she will not be with her in-laws later on in life... Pffft, people... -_-
"....one song that's about like what, 4 minutes tops???" I was unfamiliar with the song & pulled it up on YouTube to play in the background while I read this. It's 2 minutes 51 seconds. Imagine getting your panties in a wad because for 2 minutes and 51 seconds, an elderly couple at their grandson's wedding get to hear/dance to a romantic song that they love for sentimental reasons.
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So basically she's saying that their families paid for the event, but they couldn't even have a dance of their choice! How selfish and self-centered could you be to not realize this is wrong on so many levels?! Also, the grandparents said something about the song being kind of a tradition in their family for weddings, hence OP deprived them of a once in a lifetime experience: the family tradition dance at their FIRST grandchild's wedding! How would they experience this in the future, as OP stated?! Wedding planned for HER and HER friends, and that's it... Also, the "I hope the feedbacks help my husband see" after which she gets blasted... GOLD!!!
Knowing how fast she like to take things I bet she cashed their wedding check pretty fast. If I were the grandparents I might have considered canceling the check. Petty meet Petty with experience.
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I'm guessing she won't show the post to her husband now, given the feedback 🤣, but l'd love for the husband to find it and realise how she talks about HIS family.
"This is MY wedding! Damn anyone else!" I just don't get this type attitude. A wedding is meant to be a joyful occasion marking the joining of two people - two families together with love and respect. At what point did weddings become the time to assert that only YOU matter? What about your spouse? Speaking of privilege and arrogance...The idea that you and you alone deserve to have the day is just so wrong. Frankly, it speaks to a much larger issue: I matter more than you. I do not respect or care about you and your needs if they conflict with my own." The intolerance is just mind-blowing. I give this marriage very little time before it ends. That is unless the husband is just as arrogant and selfish as the bride.
Wow I wish BP would scrape some actual modern content out of Reddit so I could at least go tell this lunatic how wildly out of line she was.
Remember, anyone can be a writer at Bored Panda so you can go scrape something a bit more up to date for the rest of us to get riled over! : )
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What an entitled cow! I hope the grandparents leave their money to someone else!
Please don't insult entitled cows by comparing them to this person.
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You are an a*****e, as well as an insufferable pile of human trash! You said "f**k them", really? Your behavior is embarrassing, and even when people tell you that your were wrong, you still think you were right. You are a narcissist, and a walking red flag, why your husband is still with you is beyond me. Perhaps you should try AA.
If you don't want people's opinions then don't ask the internet. What a massive AH.
jesus f*****g christ, she was a narcissistic self absorbed bridezilla b***h in the original post but that update just multiplied that b****y bridezilla a*****e narcissism by about 9999999999999999999999999999999999X what a f*****g child.
Regardless of the actual situation, this whole post makes her sound insufferable and self absorbed. All the DMs she posted are pretty much exactly what I was thinking. Not a single we or our, all me, my, I. His family may have overstepped, but her attitude is awful.
"I'm hoping the feedback from this post will help my husband realize his parents are gaslighting him again (they're total narcissists)" HOLYYYYYY there's a lot to unpack just in this section alone. First off, what they're doing is not even close to gaslighting. Second, we need to stop using the word narcissist as a synonym for selfish (although they are not, that is clearly what she was trying to say). Narcissistic personality disorder is no joke, and it's not the people's fault they have it. It exacerbates the stigmatization of NPD which is wrong and counterproductive
The Reditt thread! 😳 I doubt this woman is still married. Pathological Narcissist!
Based on the slightly overblown writing style, I think it's yet another fake ragebait story. I find it hard to believe that anyone would seriously think every single detail of their wedding should cater for their preferences only and that some guests should be excluded from being able to join in.
ETA: couldn't see a link to the source so searched for it and, guess what, yet another old story - post 4 years ago, events 5 years ago, and account deleted. I guess 'this lazy panda' couldn't be bothered to do more than trawl the Reddit archives for something that got a black-and-white response. So disappointing.
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If she hadn't done what she did, her in laws wouldn't be saying or thinking badly of her. But this, this is a surefire to antagonise her relationship with her in laws, and set the tone for her marriage. 3 minutes....3 minutes and she couldn't even spare that......
While she could probably have handled the situation a more gentler....I still stand on she was right to say no. It's etiquette to ask.....if this was a tradition they still were to confer with the couple and has plenty of time to ask to insert this into the wedding. I learned more from the audience than I did the show; a whole lot of you who answered are some hateful sofb and clearly needed to beat up on someone. There have been truly hateful Bridezilla stories but this isn't one of them for me. The vibe set for their wedding was interrupted and hubby sure didn't stop her from changing it back. Only asking her to apologize for the sake of them shutting the f**k up too. Y'all literally jumped on the bandwagon....where is those reading comprehension skills y'all were supposed to learn in JHS....And no one gave her a different insightful look at the situation.... y'all were hateful, nasty and spiteful bandwagon jumping fools, which made her more defensive, so no one learns anything.
I also love how everyone disregarded that : 1. Husband and damn near all the guests were the lively dancer types 2. The only form of a*****e she was in how she cut it, the Bride very well acknowledged that she was saucy so her response to the interruption of the vibe BOTH (future husband/wife) agreed to for the wedding was far from kind. 3. Weddings take time to plan and the description tells how lavish it must have been; so they had plenty of time to ask whether they can input this tradition into the couples wedding. 4. For how it occurred, they didn't ask cuz they knew the answer was no, period, so this was passively aggressive and invasive, they wanted what they wanted. And y'all expected her to be courteous in a situation she was shown none, for three minutes of music they felt entitled to smfh. 5. Apparently none of you read the informative paragraphs after about weddings and music etiquette when Bored Panda reached out to wedding and event lead planner Kathleen Swift and wedding DJ Matthew Reatewhen; especially when the songs deviated from the theme chosen by the couple.
No one approaches a bride at a reception to ASK if they can request a song from the DJ. If they wanted no requests they should have told the DJ and the DJ should have said "Sorry, but the bride and groom asks for no requests." I have NEVER been to a wedding where the bride and groom had no regard for what their guests would enjoy. Who, except for the bride, groom and DJ, would even know what they requested as their music theme? There is always a mixture of genres and tempos for songs at a wedding reception. And the kicker of it is, the bride and groom didn't even pay for the wedding! His family was good enough to take money from, but not good enough to respect and care about their feelings and opinions.
Load More Replies... Am I the only person who doesn't see her as an a*****e?! For real y'all all wild; while her delivery wasn't choice, they didn't even ask/discuss this "request" before they did so. It was their special day and they both are dancers who love fast passed music and so did most ppl who were invited. The wedding isn't for the guests enjoyment and to cater to their whims; it's for the couple to lavish upon each other and for the guests to be entertained by how it plays out. Husband is only asking well after the fact cuz his family is being harpies and he wants them to shut up...not that he even disagreed with his wife. "Three minutes of song", then they could have taken 1 min to ask for permission; they were invasive AF and thought they could interrupt the couples special day to have a special moment of their own...Everyone keeps mentioning that she was supposed to be taking other peoples wants and needs into account, but conveniently dismissed that hers was completely disrespected.
Yes, you are a SUPER AH, not only at the wedding, but your whole life. Your update proves that. Hope your husband realizes the mistake he made. Anyone who would treat his grandparents like that is not worth it. With your attitude, you will be a very lonely person.
She is one tasty piece of work!! With terrible taste in music and terrible manners 😮
First of all: did this brideZilla marry herself? MY this, My that blablabla. Secondly, yes, those grandparents do not get to have special moments at someone else's wedding unless having asked beforehand.
This young “lady” is a piece of work my goodness. She calls them narcissistic gaslighters because they asked for one thing at HER HER HER (MY MY MY) wedding that she should have had the grace to respect. She gave no context to other outrageous requests for control attempted for HER HER HER (MY MY MY) wedding, so a request to play one frigin traditional song is thoroughly reasonable. This isn’t about enforcing boundaries. I already placed my judgement on this bride…gorilla (she doesn’t do criticism well, does she?) before I saw the update with petulance that literally made me laugh out loud. There’s an ocean of difference between giving a little grace to traditions on YOUR YOUR YOUR (MY MY MY MY MY MY MY!!!!!!!) day and being manipulated. But using stories like that as your basis to gaslight is honestly hilarious. I give her husband 10 months before he asks for a divorce or gets committed.
JFC, my (now ex) husband and I were searching for a cd for my parents' special song after the rehearsal dinner and our best man even went to a music store between the wedding and reception to find it. This jerk can't allow three minutes for someone else to enjoy a celebration! And, the update just cements TA All The Way! I hope hubs divorces her and finds a decent human being.
I realize this will likely get me down voted, but honestly, I kinda agree with her. She handled it badly and is self centered, and for that I agree she's a jerk, but I feel like if you want to have a song played you should go check with the people who's event it is first, especially if it clashes with the rest of the music. I also think, however, that if asked she should've let it slide, and that in that situation I probably would've let it slide regardless but I'm not particularly picky about music, and I don't drink
What just happened? That read like someone in a top-speed ramblerant during a meth high. "Fast songs only I like fast songs I'm a dancer so I need fast songs even our first song was a fast song what is this c**p? Buddy Holly has faster songs than this I only dance to fast songs"
A**hole is more accurate than bridezilla. Lucky you, you qualified for both.
Absolutely unbelievable!!!! In the time you were arguing w the dj the song must have finished. one song!!!! the selfishness is beyond reason wow! if this had been your grandparents YOU wouldnt have been such a b***h. Well you got to show off and acted like a brat because of one song? Nice one! Your in-laws will never like you. Now imagine that someone treating your family the same.
The adults of BP came to play today with actual intelligent advice. Cool.
Her day, her wedding, her music. Those corpses can go get married again if they want to hear it. That "deejay" is DTA for ignoring what he was told and shouldn't get paid.
While I understand not wanting certain songs played at a wedding, this was not one of those cases.
What an unbearable little b***h. Clearly did a lot of maturing between updates.
What an entitled twat. She's always going to be the poor victim no matter what. I hope this guy finds someone good and has a much better wedding next time after he kicks this narcissistic fool to the curb.
MY, MY, MY, you always knows it is not ending well when it is MY wedding, and not OUR wedding. That poor guy sounds like a "Ken" in a "Barbie wedding".... and who the hell chooses "Hips don't lie" as their couple song, sure it may be the first you've danced to, but it isn't really romantic as such, is it? I pitty the groom who is caught in the middle of it, and is stuck with a girl (not a woman, she clearly never grew up) who Obviously cannot see beyond her own nose, and is incapable of reading the room and learning from it. Honey, when everyone tells you that you are wrong, odds are quite good that you are infact wrong, and they don't need your excuses for your behavior. All that you achieve by presenting them is that you make yourself feel good, in a situation where you ought to put in some hard work into mending things. "Liquid courage"? well if it is that stuff that makes you act like a b***h, perhaps you should hold back a little on your consumption.
Too bad the husband didn't wake up before the nuptials, now, if not too late, get an annulment, don't wait until divorce is the only option.
Y and your husband are indeed TA!! Both sound like a match made in hell & it's unfortunate that you'll reproduce to create little a**holes. After reading the update it appears the husband was in agreement with no slow songs too. At first I didn't believe it then realized he failed to stop his drunk wife from interrupting the slow song for something fast. I truly hope the grandparents don't leave anything in the will (if any) for their a**hole grandson & his wife, they don't deserve anything. As matter of fact, this will come back & bite them in the a** real hard some day.
Are you sure that it was indeed "WE" who agreed to only sad songs? She sounds like a tyrant, so my guess is that he is complying to her wishes because he is too much of a woosie to go into the fight. I think that he is a doormat, who was dragged into a conflict that was not really his, but was between his grandparents/parents on one side and this narcisistic excuse for a wife on the other one. Narcisist have a tendency to seek out the easy prey, and hence they often end up with submissive, spineless partners, who they can exploit to the max. I think that she alone created the disaster, and his only crime is letting her get away with it, when he clearly should have stood up for the rest of his family.
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This one takes the Tony award for Bridezilla. OP has successfully managed to alienate: 1) her husband's parents, 2) her husband's grandparents, and 3) her husband. The last time I checked, three of a kind beats two pair, and she might have won more than she bargained for. That is, unless she's willing to check her attitude at the front porch and apologize to all concerned.
She won't. Reading the follow ups, she sounds like she has exactly zero ability to read the room, and when she is called up on her bad behavior, it is just a rapid succession of excuses for why everyone is mean and wrong and why she is right. I predict that she will get a very hard life, as she clearly is incapable of learning from her mistakes, and hence is bound to making the same mistakes over and over, while eliminating everyone around her in the process. Either he is a doormat, who will suffer through the rest of his life, or that marriage will soon be over.
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I hope so. I hate to think that anyone can act like this and think its justified, reasonable and OK.
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YTA. First, these are older people who may not be alive in a year, chill out! Next, commercially it is more successful to mix slow and fast as well as different dance/music styles so everyone enjoys the music and dancing. Very few people can fast dance for hours, even if they want to do so. Finally, you were just rude to your new husband's relatives. I would be reassessing who I just married if you did that to my beloved grandparents. You come across as a selfish person who will be having an empty life if you don't change your priorities.
Gosh, this isn‘t even about right or wrong. It‘s about being a decent human being. She does not sound like that. Me me me me me
Lmao.. her reply was the hilarious icing on the cake. What a piece of trash... I wont call her a bridezilla though, because its fairly obvious shes a terrible and narcissistic person full time
As a woman, she sounds like a C**t and a bridezilla don’t really care if she thinks they’re sexist terms, you don’t want to be them don’t act like them. This marriage is definitely going to end in divorce.
I really hope this story is fake. It sounds fake in the sense that it's so over the top ridiculous that it surely can't be true. Aside from that... um. Ya. YTA. Totally. You don't have enough consideration for your new husbands grandparents to let them have a special moment at their grandsons wedding? Just admit you were drunk, apologize, and hope they forgive you. Otherwise you look like the narcissist.
Pot calls kettle black. Full-on B!t¢h or witch? Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the biggest narcissist of all? Definitely one for the Bridezilla records book.
I had been to too many weddings with hard rock bands playing, all the young people and kids dancing, and all the parents and brands sitting around looking like their ears hurt. So when we got married my husband and I chose a jazz swing group. Everybody was happy. All our young friends said, "This is so retro! Where did you find these guys?" And the oldsters danced all night.
"Bridezilla is sexist and outdated..." B***h, if the GOP can bring back the 50s, you can bring back the term Bridezilla... But if that's wrong, I'll be happy to go with "self-absorbed twatwaffle."
I have a very unpopular opinion. Yes she could have been more empathetic okay. However she and her husband agreed on the musuc they wanted playing. Without ASKING them, some family members put in a request that does not fit with the rythym that they wanted to keep. Bride told that to stop, and was a bit rude. Her hisband AGREED with her. Before just deciding to try to keep the peace and ask her to appologize. Then people online started to antagonize her and she told them to knock it off. Is she a shining beacon of kindness and empathy? No. But ***hole seems a bit strong. I dont consider not being kind to be an *sshole. There's a middle ground.
If her husband had to be bullied into agreeing then the problem is even bigger. This reads like a badly written movie script.
Countdown on how long that marriage lasts. God, she just drips viciousness and narcissism.That is not a person I would be around for very long.
It is hard to say... She sounds awful, and any sensible person would dump her immediately (or infact they wouldn't have married her in the first place). However some men never grew a spine and will allow a woman to walk all over them like a doormat for years. Those can last surprisingly wrong, as they will be too broken down to flee, when they finally realize what is going on, and that they have better options. My guess is that he falls in the last category, as there probably was a whole series of red flags before the wedding, and yet it happened. His lack of taking sides and putting her in her place, when it should have been really easy to say who was in the wrong here, doesn't boat well for him leaving either.
Load More Replies... This is hilarious. Even when everyone confirms she’s the AH she still kicks off and tells everyone where to go. She calls her husband’s parents narcissists yet can’t take any criticism. Needs to buy a mirror and take a good long look in it.
Hahaha, was thinking the same! Comes to Reddit, probably certain they were gonna agree with her and when they didn't it was all like "yeah i don't care what you think anyways". She sounds like a peach.
Load More Replies... Her update doesn't sound like she understood anything or even tried or wanted to see another point of view.
I don't think she ever thought she might have been in the wrong, that's why sh'es focusing on the on-line bullying in her update instead of indicating whether she has changed her mind. Still, the on-line bullying is just wrong, however you frame it. People who do this are cowards, often can't string a whole grammatical sentence together and have no idea of the harm they can inflict. Or perhaps they do and like the tittilation that comes with the idea that you can hound someone to their death and still tell yourself you had nothing to do with it. Sorry for this, but people who bully on-line are the lowest of the low.
Load More Replies... That update doesn't make her look any better. Taking other peoples wants and needs into account is not always being bullied into submission.
Ok I won't call you a bridezilla, I'll call you an unempathetic (is that a word/the right word?), selfish, egoistic, short sighted, self-centered, closed minded and sour person that doesn't want to share joy with people who are not exactly like you. (yes I said things twice, maybe it gets the message across).
Yanno, I bet a lot of people there would have enjoyed a slower number. I wouldn't dance with my partner to something fast, but a slow dance? For sure. I feel so bad for the grandparents.
Agreed - I like to dance but don't have the stamina for hours of fast dancing
Load More Replies... It's useless. She's not gonna get it. One could flatten oneself into a pancake trying to explain to her what she did wrong, but it won't help. She didn't get it then, she isn't getting it now, she will never get it. It would be easier talking to a wall.
So... based on her update, she's learned nothing. She is the AH, a HUGE AH.
It's just as well since she's absolutely full of s**t.
Load More Replies... How is bridezilla sexist? Is she not a bride is she not terrible. The same thing plays for a male. If you're a groom and you're terrible you're a groomzilla. It's like saying boys and girls men and women, male and female are sexist terms. Not only is she terrible but she is stupid also.
I'm so glad I don't know this person. Couldn't play a song for a few minutes for an elderly couple. I don't care that it's your wedding day you are a selfish person.
This bride might do well to remember that in 'wedding' the 'we' comes before the 'i'. She was being more than a little bit selfish. I feel sorry for her husband.
She's clearly in the wrong. Like one song? Grandparents wanting one dance? That's beautiful, not a reason to throw a fit.
Wow, OP doubles down even after being told she's TA (for obvious reasons). I've been to quite a few weddings since the lockdown shut down but never had there been a string of fast songs at any of them. If anything, even the younger newlyweds requested sentimental pieces so everyone could dance or enjoy along. Plus, she didn't even pay for the wedding and is whining and moaning about one song that's about like what, 4 minutes tops??? I seriously hope her hubby realizes what he's gotten himself into. If she doesn't even have the patience for one song, imagine how patient she will not be with her in-laws later on in life... Pffft, people... -_-
"....one song that's about like what, 4 minutes tops???" I was unfamiliar with the song & pulled it up on YouTube to play in the background while I read this. It's 2 minutes 51 seconds. Imagine getting your panties in a wad because for 2 minutes and 51 seconds, an elderly couple at their grandson's wedding get to hear/dance to a romantic song that they love for sentimental reasons.
Load More Replies... So basically she's saying that their families paid for the event, but they couldn't even have a dance of their choice! How selfish and self-centered could you be to not realize this is wrong on so many levels?! Also, the grandparents said something about the song being kind of a tradition in their family for weddings, hence OP deprived them of a once in a lifetime experience: the family tradition dance at their FIRST grandchild's wedding! How would they experience this in the future, as OP stated?! Wedding planned for HER and HER friends, and that's it... Also, the "I hope the feedbacks help my husband see" after which she gets blasted... GOLD!!!
Knowing how fast she like to take things I bet she cashed their wedding check pretty fast. If I were the grandparents I might have considered canceling the check. Petty meet Petty with experience.
Load More Replies... I'm guessing she won't show the post to her husband now, given the feedback 🤣, but l'd love for the husband to find it and realise how she talks about HIS family.
"This is MY wedding! Damn anyone else!" I just don't get this type attitude. A wedding is meant to be a joyful occasion marking the joining of two people - two families together with love and respect. At what point did weddings become the time to assert that only YOU matter? What about your spouse? Speaking of privilege and arrogance...The idea that you and you alone deserve to have the day is just so wrong. Frankly, it speaks to a much larger issue: I matter more than you. I do not respect or care about you and your needs if they conflict with my own." The intolerance is just mind-blowing. I give this marriage very little time before it ends. That is unless the husband is just as arrogant and selfish as the bride.
Wow I wish BP would scrape some actual modern content out of Reddit so I could at least go tell this lunatic how wildly out of line she was.
Remember, anyone can be a writer at Bored Panda so you can go scrape something a bit more up to date for the rest of us to get riled over! : )
Load More Replies... What an entitled cow! I hope the grandparents leave their money to someone else!
Please don't insult entitled cows by comparing them to this person.
Load More Replies... You are an a*****e, as well as an insufferable pile of human trash! You said "f**k them", really? Your behavior is embarrassing, and even when people tell you that your were wrong, you still think you were right. You are a narcissist, and a walking red flag, why your husband is still with you is beyond me. Perhaps you should try AA.
If you don't want people's opinions then don't ask the internet. What a massive AH.
jesus f*****g christ, she was a narcissistic self absorbed bridezilla b***h in the original post but that update just multiplied that b****y bridezilla a*****e narcissism by about 9999999999999999999999999999999999X what a f*****g child.
Regardless of the actual situation, this whole post makes her sound insufferable and self absorbed. All the DMs she posted are pretty much exactly what I was thinking. Not a single we or our, all me, my, I. His family may have overstepped, but her attitude is awful.
"I'm hoping the feedback from this post will help my husband realize his parents are gaslighting him again (they're total narcissists)" HOLYYYYYY there's a lot to unpack just in this section alone. First off, what they're doing is not even close to gaslighting. Second, we need to stop using the word narcissist as a synonym for selfish (although they are not, that is clearly what she was trying to say). Narcissistic personality disorder is no joke, and it's not the people's fault they have it. It exacerbates the stigmatization of NPD which is wrong and counterproductive
The Reditt thread! 😳 I doubt this woman is still married. Pathological Narcissist!
Based on the slightly overblown writing style, I think it's yet another fake ragebait story. I find it hard to believe that anyone would seriously think every single detail of their wedding should cater for their preferences only and that some guests should be excluded from being able to join in.
ETA: couldn't see a link to the source so searched for it and, guess what, yet another old story - post 4 years ago, events 5 years ago, and account deleted. I guess 'this lazy panda' couldn't be bothered to do more than trawl the Reddit archives for something that got a black-and-white response. So disappointing.
Load More Replies... If she hadn't done what she did, her in laws wouldn't be saying or thinking badly of her. But this, this is a surefire to antagonise her relationship with her in laws, and set the tone for her marriage. 3 minutes....3 minutes and she couldn't even spare that......
While she could probably have handled the situation a more gentler....I still stand on she was right to say no. It's etiquette to ask.....if this was a tradition they still were to confer with the couple and has plenty of time to ask to insert this into the wedding. I learned more from the audience than I did the show; a whole lot of you who answered are some hateful sofb and clearly needed to beat up on someone. There have been truly hateful Bridezilla stories but this isn't one of them for me. The vibe set for their wedding was interrupted and hubby sure didn't stop her from changing it back. Only asking her to apologize for the sake of them shutting the f**k up too. Y'all literally jumped on the bandwagon....where is those reading comprehension skills y'all were supposed to learn in JHS....And no one gave her a different insightful look at the situation.... y'all were hateful, nasty and spiteful bandwagon jumping fools, which made her more defensive, so no one learns anything.
I also love how everyone disregarded that : 1. Husband and damn near all the guests were the lively dancer types 2. The only form of a*****e she was in how she cut it, the Bride very well acknowledged that she was saucy so her response to the interruption of the vibe BOTH (future husband/wife) agreed to for the wedding was far from kind. 3. Weddings take time to plan and the description tells how lavish it must have been; so they had plenty of time to ask whether they can input this tradition into the couples wedding. 4. For how it occurred, they didn't ask cuz they knew the answer was no, period, so this was passively aggressive and invasive, they wanted what they wanted. And y'all expected her to be courteous in a situation she was shown none, for three minutes of music they felt entitled to smfh. 5. Apparently none of you read the informative paragraphs after about weddings and music etiquette when Bored Panda reached out to wedding and event lead planner Kathleen Swift and wedding DJ Matthew Reatewhen; especially when the songs deviated from the theme chosen by the couple.
No one approaches a bride at a reception to ASK if they can request a song from the DJ. If they wanted no requests they should have told the DJ and the DJ should have said "Sorry, but the bride and groom asks for no requests." I have NEVER been to a wedding where the bride and groom had no regard for what their guests would enjoy. Who, except for the bride, groom and DJ, would even know what they requested as their music theme? There is always a mixture of genres and tempos for songs at a wedding reception. And the kicker of it is, the bride and groom didn't even pay for the wedding! His family was good enough to take money from, but not good enough to respect and care about their feelings and opinions.
Load More Replies... Am I the only person who doesn't see her as an a*****e?! For real y'all all wild; while her delivery wasn't choice, they didn't even ask/discuss this "request" before they did so. It was their special day and they both are dancers who love fast passed music and so did most ppl who were invited. The wedding isn't for the guests enjoyment and to cater to their whims; it's for the couple to lavish upon each other and for the guests to be entertained by how it plays out. Husband is only asking well after the fact cuz his family is being harpies and he wants them to shut up...not that he even disagreed with his wife. "Three minutes of song", then they could have taken 1 min to ask for permission; they were invasive AF and thought they could interrupt the couples special day to have a special moment of their own...Everyone keeps mentioning that she was supposed to be taking other peoples wants and needs into account, but conveniently dismissed that hers was completely disrespected.
Yes, you are a SUPER AH, not only at the wedding, but your whole life. Your update proves that. Hope your husband realizes the mistake he made. Anyone who would treat his grandparents like that is not worth it. With your attitude, you will be a very lonely person.
She is one tasty piece of work!! With terrible taste in music and terrible manners 😮
First of all: did this brideZilla marry herself? MY this, My that blablabla. Secondly, yes, those grandparents do not get to have special moments at someone else's wedding unless having asked beforehand.
This young “lady” is a piece of work my goodness. She calls them narcissistic gaslighters because they asked for one thing at HER HER HER (MY MY MY) wedding that she should have had the grace to respect. She gave no context to other outrageous requests for control attempted for HER HER HER (MY MY MY) wedding, so a request to play one frigin traditional song is thoroughly reasonable. This isn’t about enforcing boundaries. I already placed my judgement on this bride…gorilla (she doesn’t do criticism well, does she?) before I saw the update with petulance that literally made me laugh out loud. There’s an ocean of difference between giving a little grace to traditions on YOUR YOUR YOUR (MY MY MY MY MY MY MY!!!!!!!) day and being manipulated. But using stories like that as your basis to gaslight is honestly hilarious. I give her husband 10 months before he asks for a divorce or gets committed.
JFC, my (now ex) husband and I were searching for a cd for my parents' special song after the rehearsal dinner and our best man even went to a music store between the wedding and reception to find it. This jerk can't allow three minutes for someone else to enjoy a celebration! And, the update just cements TA All The Way! I hope hubs divorces her and finds a decent human being.
I realize this will likely get me down voted, but honestly, I kinda agree with her. She handled it badly and is self centered, and for that I agree she's a jerk, but I feel like if you want to have a song played you should go check with the people who's event it is first, especially if it clashes with the rest of the music. I also think, however, that if asked she should've let it slide, and that in that situation I probably would've let it slide regardless but I'm not particularly picky about music, and I don't drink
What just happened? That read like someone in a top-speed ramblerant during a meth high. "Fast songs only I like fast songs I'm a dancer so I need fast songs even our first song was a fast song what is this c**p? Buddy Holly has faster songs than this I only dance to fast songs"
A**hole is more accurate than bridezilla. Lucky you, you qualified for both.
Absolutely unbelievable!!!! In the time you were arguing w the dj the song must have finished. one song!!!! the selfishness is beyond reason wow! if this had been your grandparents YOU wouldnt have been such a b***h. Well you got to show off and acted like a brat because of one song? Nice one! Your in-laws will never like you. Now imagine that someone treating your family the same.
The adults of BP came to play today with actual intelligent advice. Cool.
Her day, her wedding, her music. Those corpses can go get married again if they want to hear it. That "deejay" is DTA for ignoring what he was told and shouldn't get paid.
While I understand not wanting certain songs played at a wedding, this was not one of those cases.
What an unbearable little b***h. Clearly did a lot of maturing between updates.
What an entitled twat. She's always going to be the poor victim no matter what. I hope this guy finds someone good and has a much better wedding next time after he kicks this narcissistic fool to the curb.
MY, MY, MY, you always knows it is not ending well when it is MY wedding, and not OUR wedding. That poor guy sounds like a "Ken" in a "Barbie wedding".... and who the hell chooses "Hips don't lie" as their couple song, sure it may be the first you've danced to, but it isn't really romantic as such, is it? I pitty the groom who is caught in the middle of it, and is stuck with a girl (not a woman, she clearly never grew up) who Obviously cannot see beyond her own nose, and is incapable of reading the room and learning from it. Honey, when everyone tells you that you are wrong, odds are quite good that you are infact wrong, and they don't need your excuses for your behavior. All that you achieve by presenting them is that you make yourself feel good, in a situation where you ought to put in some hard work into mending things. "Liquid courage"? well if it is that stuff that makes you act like a b***h, perhaps you should hold back a little on your consumption.
Too bad the husband didn't wake up before the nuptials, now, if not too late, get an annulment, don't wait until divorce is the only option.
Y and your husband are indeed TA!! Both sound like a match made in hell & it's unfortunate that you'll reproduce to create little a**holes. After reading the update it appears the husband was in agreement with no slow songs too. At first I didn't believe it then realized he failed to stop his drunk wife from interrupting the slow song for something fast. I truly hope the grandparents don't leave anything in the will (if any) for their a**hole grandson & his wife, they don't deserve anything. As matter of fact, this will come back & bite them in the a** real hard some day.
Are you sure that it was indeed "WE" who agreed to only sad songs? She sounds like a tyrant, so my guess is that he is complying to her wishes because he is too much of a woosie to go into the fight. I think that he is a doormat, who was dragged into a conflict that was not really his, but was between his grandparents/parents on one side and this narcisistic excuse for a wife on the other one. Narcisist have a tendency to seek out the easy prey, and hence they often end up with submissive, spineless partners, who they can exploit to the max. I think that she alone created the disaster, and his only crime is letting her get away with it, when he clearly should have stood up for the rest of his family.
Load More Replies... This one takes the Tony award for Bridezilla. OP has successfully managed to alienate: 1) her husband's parents, 2) her husband's grandparents, and 3) her husband. The last time I checked, three of a kind beats two pair, and she might have won more than she bargained for. That is, unless she's willing to check her attitude at the front porch and apologize to all concerned.
She won't. Reading the follow ups, she sounds like she has exactly zero ability to read the room, and when she is called up on her bad behavior, it is just a rapid succession of excuses for why everyone is mean and wrong and why she is right. I predict that she will get a very hard life, as she clearly is incapable of learning from her mistakes, and hence is bound to making the same mistakes over and over, while eliminating everyone around her in the process. Either he is a doormat, who will suffer through the rest of his life, or that marriage will soon be over.
Load More Replies... I hope so. I hate to think that anyone can act like this and think its justified, reasonable and OK.
Load More Replies... YTA. First, these are older people who may not be alive in a year, chill out! Next, commercially it is more successful to mix slow and fast as well as different dance/music styles so everyone enjoys the music and dancing. Very few people can fast dance for hours, even if they want to do so. Finally, you were just rude to your new husband's relatives. I would be reassessing who I just married if you did that to my beloved grandparents. You come across as a selfish person who will be having an empty life if you don't change your priorities.
Gosh, this isn‘t even about right or wrong. It‘s about being a decent human being. She does not sound like that. Me me me me me
Lmao.. her reply was the hilarious icing on the cake. What a piece of trash... I wont call her a bridezilla though, because its fairly obvious shes a terrible and narcissistic person full time
As a woman, she sounds like a C**t and a bridezilla don’t really care if she thinks they’re sexist terms, you don’t want to be them don’t act like them. This marriage is definitely going to end in divorce.
I really hope this story is fake. It sounds fake in the sense that it's so over the top ridiculous that it surely can't be true. Aside from that... um. Ya. YTA. Totally. You don't have enough consideration for your new husbands grandparents to let them have a special moment at their grandsons wedding? Just admit you were drunk, apologize, and hope they forgive you. Otherwise you look like the narcissist.
Pot calls kettle black. Full-on B!t¢h or witch? Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the biggest narcissist of all? Definitely one for the Bridezilla records book.
I had been to too many weddings with hard rock bands playing, all the young people and kids dancing, and all the parents and brands sitting around looking like their ears hurt. So when we got married my husband and I chose a jazz swing group. Everybody was happy. All our young friends said, "This is so retro! Where did you find these guys?" And the oldsters danced all night.
"Bridezilla is sexist and outdated..." B***h, if the GOP can bring back the 50s, you can bring back the term Bridezilla... But if that's wrong, I'll be happy to go with "self-absorbed twatwaffle."
I have a very unpopular opinion. Yes she could have been more empathetic okay. However she and her husband agreed on the musuc they wanted playing. Without ASKING them, some family members put in a request that does not fit with the rythym that they wanted to keep. Bride told that to stop, and was a bit rude. Her hisband AGREED with her. Before just deciding to try to keep the peace and ask her to appologize. Then people online started to antagonize her and she told them to knock it off. Is she a shining beacon of kindness and empathy? No. But ***hole seems a bit strong. I dont consider not being kind to be an *sshole. There's a middle ground.
If her husband had to be bullied into agreeing then the problem is even bigger. This reads like a badly written movie script.
Countdown on how long that marriage lasts. God, she just drips viciousness and narcissism.That is not a person I would be around for very long.
It is hard to say... She sounds awful, and any sensible person would dump her immediately (or infact they wouldn't have married her in the first place). However some men never grew a spine and will allow a woman to walk all over them like a doormat for years. Those can last surprisingly wrong, as they will be too broken down to flee, when they finally realize what is going on, and that they have better options. My guess is that he falls in the last category, as there probably was a whole series of red flags before the wedding, and yet it happened. His lack of taking sides and putting her in her place, when it should have been really easy to say who was in the wrong here, doesn't boat well for him leaving either.
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