Woman Discovers A “Dark Side” Of BF’s Personality Just A Week After Moving In Together, Nopes Out

Moving in together is a big step. Whether you shack up after a few months or a few years, it’s not a decision to be taken lightly. You might learn things about each other that you never knew before. And it can make or break your relationship.

One woman shared how she moved in with her boyfriend recently after dating for just six months. Within days, he was a completely different person. He immediately became controlling and wanted to manage every aspect of her life. But the final straw came when the woman’s boyfriend told her to stop eating dinner and watch her weight because he’s “a high value man”. She’s considering moving out but isn’t sure if she’s overreacting.

It has been said that you don’t really know someone until you live with them

Woman discovering boyfriend's dark side after moving in, looking concerned during a meal at home.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

And it took this woman just a week to discover her boyfriend’s “dark side” after she moved into his apartment

Text detailing a woman's discovery of her boyfriend's controlling personality after moving in together.

Text recounting a woman's discovery of her boyfriend's dark side after moving in together.

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Text about a woman moving into her boyfriend’s apartment and discovering a dark side of his personality.

Text message expressing concern over partner, seeking advice on potentially dangerous behavior.

Woman describing athletic build, 15 lbs over normal BMI.

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The man’s mask came off when his girlfriend moved in, in true narcissistic fashion

Experts define narcissism as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.” In short, narcissists are obsessed with themselves, and think little of others.

The word narcissist comes from Greek mythology… A tale about a guy called Narcissus. As the Oxford Classical Dictionary explains, “He loved no one till he saw his own reflection in water and fell in love with that; finally he pined away, died, and was turned into the flower of like name.” Narcissus was so self-absorbed and in love with himself that he could see nothing else.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health disorder. Often, the signs are hard to spot at the beginning of a relationship. But as time goes on, the narcissist will start showing their true colors. At least behind closed doors. Criticizing others and the need to control are hallmarks of a narcissist.

“They might make comments about your weight, clothes, or choice of hairstyle. They make fun of you or put you down; this might happen behind your back and/or to your face,” notes VeryWell Mind. “They make fun of others, especially people they perceive as lesser than them (i.e., someone they deem as less attractive or wealthy). In general, they are highly critical of everyone.”

For narcissists, control equals power. And they may carry out control in various ways. For example, by intimidation, emotional, physical and/or mental abuse. They could also isolate you from family and friends, and create a space where you are financially dependent on them, as in the case of the woman.

“The controlling behaviors may seem subtle at first, for example, wanting to control your time and attention, or insisting that things are done a certain way, but the behaviors tend to escalate over time to things such as controlling who you speak to, where you go, what you do, when you must be home and when you have sex with one another,” warns legal firm Barton Family Law.

Dealing with a narcissist can be draining and can have a negative effect on your mental health, self-esteem, other relationships and career. In some cases, the wounds might take years to heal. Experts warn that it’s important to understand that you cannot change a narcissist. And nothing you do will ever be good enough.

“The best thing you can do is cut ties. Offer them no explanation. Offer no second chance. Break up with them, and offer no second, third, or fourth chance,” advises clinical psychologist Dr. Angela Grace.

Couple sitting on bed, both looking distressed, discovering hidden personality traits, holding smartphones.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

Some people needed more info and the woman was happy to provide it

Reddit user discusses discovering boyfriend's dark personality after moving in too quickly, mentioning love bombing.

Text exchange discussing a woman's boyfriend's controlling behavior after moving in together.

“Your mom is right”: netizens urged the woman to get out as fast as possible

Text exchange discussing woman's boyfriend's personality change after moving in.

Reddit conversation about discovering boyfriend's dark side after moving in together.

Reddit comment warning woman about boyfriend's dark personality, advising to move out for safety.

Reddit thread discussing dark side of boyfriend's personality after moving in together.

Reddit comments about discovering a dark side of a boyfriend's personality.

Reddit comment about boyfriend's dark side after moving in, advice to move out.

Comments discuss a woman's discovery of her boyfriend's dark side.

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The woman posted an update revealing that she’s secretly started looking for an apartment

Text image about a woman's realization of her boyfriend's "dark side" and her plans to move out discreetly.

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