Man Asks Girlfriend What She Brings To The Table After 4.5 Years Together, Relationship Implodes

After years together, many couples feel comfortable discussing what their future might look like. Ideally, those conversations help confirm that both partners see the relationship moving in the same direction.

But when this Redditor had that talk with her boyfriend, it didn’t go the way she expected. As they discussed marriage and what that next step might involve, she mentioned wanting an engagement ring that felt special and showed real commitment. Instead, her boyfriend told her she would need to “earn” it—a comment that caught her completely off guard.

Not knowing what to make of the situation, she took to the internet to share what happened and ask others what she should do. Read the full story below.

While talking about marriage plans, the woman shared that she wanted an engagement ring that felt special and showed real commitment

Man and woman arguing on a couch, highlighting drama over engagement ring expectations after 4.5 years together.

Image credits: Wavebreak Media (not the actual photo)

In response, her boyfriend told her she would need to “earn” it

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Text excerpt discussing commitment and earning an engagement ring after 4.5 years together, sparking drama.

Woman smiling as man places engagement ring on her finger after years together in emotional relationship drama moment

Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection (not the actual photo)

Alt text: Screenshot of a text message discussing earning commitment and feelings about a relationship after 4.5 years together.

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Image credits: Neat-Establishment62

Engagement rings have been around since ancient times

For a lot of couples, getting engaged marks a major milestone in their relationship. Before it even happens, people often find themselves daydreaming about the moment itself, whether that means being the one to ask the question or imagining what it would feel like to hear it and say yes. Across different cultures, that step is symbolized by a ring, a long-standing sign of commitment.

Some historians trace the roots of this tradition back to ancient Egypt. According to the Gemological Institute of America, Egyptian pharaohs used rings to represent eternity. The circle had no beginning or end and mirrored the shapes of the sun and moon, which the Egyptians worshipped. The empty space at the center of the ring was also thought to represent a gateway to the unknown.

One well-known example from that period is the ouroboros ring, which depicted a serpent swallowing its own tail. The image represented continuity and the endless cycle of life. While these were not engagement rings in the modern sense, the symbolism behind them closely resembles what rings still stand for today.

When Alexander the Great conquered Egypt, Greek culture adopted the practice of exchanging rings as symbols of devotion. Many of these rings featured Eros, the god of love. Later, the Romans carried the tradition forward after conquering Greece and gave it a more formal role in marriage.

Ancient Rome is often considered the earliest society where engagement rings can be reliably traced. Couples used iron and copper rings during marriage ceremonies, and some iron rings included key motifs to symbolize a wife’s authority over household goods. By the second century CE, gold had become the preferred material.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

It wasn’t until the 9th century that they became an official symbol

The engagement ring gained official recognition in 850 CE, when Pope Nicholas I declared that a ring signified a man’s intent to marry. Diamond engagement rings, however, did not appear until much later. One of the earliest recorded diamond rings dates back to late 1300s or early 1400s and was mentioned in an English widow’s will. A poem written for the wedding of two Italian socialites in 1475 described diamonds as symbols of unity and marriage, with the line: “Two wills, two hearts, two passions are bonded in one marriage by a diamond.”

The first famous diamond engagement ring was given in 1477, when Archduke Maximilian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy. The ring featured small diamonds arranged to form the letter M, a gesture that suited the future duchess and her status at the time.

Over the centuries, ring styles continued to evolve. Gimmel rings featured interlocking bands worn separately before the wedding and joined afterward. Posey rings became popular as well and often included short romantic inscriptions engraved inside the band.

For a long time, wedding rings were primarily worn by women. Although the Christian church encouraged ring exchanges as a way to promote fidelity among men, the practice did not become widespread until World War II. During the war, American and European soldiers began wearing wedding rings as reminders of their wives and sweethearts back home. The tradition continued through the Korean War and eventually became common among civilians as well.

Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection (not the actual photo)

The diamond engagement ring we know today came much later

The idea of a “classic” diamond engagement ring, the kind most people picture today, is actually very recent. Before the 1940s, diamonds were just one option among many gemstones. Their rise in popularity can largely be credited to De Beers, which mined diamonds in South Africa and controlled much of the global diamond supply. During the economic downturn of the 1930s, the company launched a major marketing push to reshape public perception.

By placing diamonds on Hollywood actresses and commissioning artists like Picasso and Dalí for advertisements, De Beers framed diamonds as symbols of romance and prestige. In 1947, the slogan “A diamond is forever” cemented that image. A few years later, Marilyn Monroe helped turn diamonds into a cultural icon.

Today, though, it feels like many people no longer rely exclusively on diamond rings. Some are returning to older traditions by choosing colored gemstones like rubies, sapphires, or emeralds. Others who like the look of a diamond but are working within a tighter budget opt for moissanite, which offers a similar appearance at a lower cost.

Some prefer a simple wedding band with no engagement ring at all, while others choose alternatives such as engagement watches. The range of options is wide, reflecting different values, budgets, and personal tastes.

What ties all of these choices together is what the ring represents to the people involved, usually some form of commitment and love. That’s what the woman in the story above expected as well. The real issue was how the conversation unfolded. From her perspective, it felt disrespectful, and her boyfriend’s reaction left her deeply upset. Hopefully, she will find a partner who is more compatible with her values and who can one day give her the engagement ring she dreams of.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Readers labeled the boyfriend’s reaction a red flag and offered advice on what she should do next

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