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Guy Mad After Spotting GF’s Tattoo, She Is Horrified By His Audacity To Demand She Remove It
Many years ago, when Johnny Depp was still very young, he got a tattoo in honor of his then-lover, actress Winona Ryder: “Winona Forever.” The couple, however, broke up in 1993, after four years together, and the actor decided to modify the tattoo. Now and to this day, it reads: “Wino Forever.” Just in case…
We don’t know how, for example, Amber Heard would’ve reacted to the original version of the tattoo, but we do know that many folks are actually upset when they see memorial tattoos in honor of their exes on their partners. Even if these exes have long since passed away. As, for example, happened in the story that we’ll tell you today.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post is a 23-year-old woman who lost her boyfriend of 3 years in 2023
Image credits: anonymous
It was a huge pain for the woman, so she decided to make a memorial tattoo of his name on her wrist
Image credits: anonymous
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, now, when the author is in her new relationship, this has become an issue for her boyfriend
Image credits: anonymous
The guy says he feels uncomfortable over this tattoo and like he’s “second best” – so he wants her to remove it or just cover it up
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she is now 23 years old, and in 2023, she tragically and unexpectedly lost her boyfriend of 3 years, with whom she had been friends since childhood. This loss was a huge blow to her, so after some time, she decided to immortalize the man’s name on her wrist by getting a memorial tattoo—just a name and a date, nothing more.
But now, when she has already entered into a new relationship with another guy, it has suddenly turned out to be a problem. More precisely, the man considered that a tattoo with another person’s name on his girlfriend’s wrist looked “disrespectful” towards himself. Even if this person has been gone for almost two years…
The BF has already asked our heroine more than once what she’s going to do with this ill-fated tattoo – whether she wants to remove it, or just cover it up. For the original poster, it is simply a memory of a good person who was in her life, and with whom she also once felt good. And she doesn’t want to lose this memory at all – no matter what her new partner says.
Well, he says that this tattoo literally makes him feel “second best” and that it looks to him like our heroine isn’t over her ex. Every day, he becomes more and more persistent, and the woman decided to take it online to find out the opinion of netizens about the current situation—and probably to get support and some reasonable advice as well.
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Of course, any tattoo, if it doesn’t carry any offensive or extremist connotations, is the full right of the person who gets it. However, people have been getting tattoos for many centuries, and there have always been opponents of this idea who didn’t like something about it. It’s quite possible that in the described situation, it is precisely about the place where the tattoo is located.
For example, several years ago, we told a story about how a man felt uncomfortable seeing memorial tattoos with the names of his fiancèe’s late husband on her chest. However, even in this case, a direct demand to remove the tattoo or cover it up in any way seems completely offensive and inappropriate.
On the other hand, the more visible the tattoo is, the more problems it can cause in the future. “Though most widowers probably aren’t even thinking about dating again when they get a memorial tattoo, once they start another relationship, the tattoo usually gets in the way,” this advice Abel Keogh, a relationship coach, actually gives to people of either gender who have lost their loved ones.
As for the people in the comments to the original post, yes, some responders noted that in a similar situation, being the BF, they would probably feel uncomfortable too. However, this in no way justifies whining and demanding to remove the memory of a person whom the OP actually dated long before the start of a new relationship, other commenters wrote. So which side do you, our dear readers, lean toward?
People in the comments wrote that he may feel uncomfortable, but this is in no way a reason for such demands
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
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What do you think ?
Austzn 6 months ago
Naw, a personal tattoo to remind you of someone in your life who passed is totally valid, sexual relationship or not; dude is insecure.
XenoMurph 6 months ago
Yes insecure and doesn't realise that a loss like that doesn't go away, tattoo or not. He'll always be there as part of her because her grief is part of her. He's not ready for a complex relationship. Every relationship is complex eventually.
Load More Replies...
sweet emotion 6 months ago
He is absolutely allowed his feelings on the matter, just as you are allowed your feelings. While he cannot "make" you remove your tattoo, neither can you "make" him be happy about a constant reminder of your previous love. I strongly suggest you both move on and find more compatible partners.
Ellinor 6 months ago
People trying to "compete" with dead people are weird... Of course it's not easy to "get over it" when someone passed away, you have to deal not only with the loss but with the "what could have been", it's not like a breakup. OP needs to dump that guy and quick.
Apatheist Account2 6 months ago
I don't think it's always that easy. It's hard to know where their head is it - is it always going to be a comparison with what will become an increasingly rose-tinted view of their late partner? It very much depends on the people involved and their attitudes. I had one girlfriend call to me (I was in a different room) using her ex-husband's name - that wasn't easy to hear, and I can imagine the feelings for a lost one would be that much deeper. I think a tattoo like that, which she's entitled to, may jeopardise her dating future.
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 6 months ago
I can't compete with my husband's late wife and don't - they had a good, solid relationship that hardly affects me, it was their own thing. We are different from that in our own relationship. This guy is just very insecure.
Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
THIS ! if the new bf is trying to compete now it’s never gonna work is it !
Load More Replies...
Dusty's mom 6 months ago
A person's tats are their business. No matter what the person has inked, it's theirs. That man is too into himself to be a respectful boyfriend.
Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
This ! I’ve got 17 I’m 60 n had 5 done two yr ago , I’ve also got the name of my daughter I lost when I was 43 , bad miscarriage but far enough in to know the s*x under a large ish tat of a praying angel I had dine after she passed , and to remember the other miscarriage I had at 45 , no idea on s*x then so this is a remembrance tat , none has ever asked who the name is for either just that they are beautiful , this blokes got issues hasn’t he
Load More Replies...
Robert Beveridge 6 months ago
Bro shouldn't be with ANYONE before getting some therapy for a security issue that big
Tabitha 6 months ago (edited)
My husband and I were forty-ish when we got married—-first marriage for both of us. I knew he’d had long term relationships before he met me, and I had long term relationships before I met him. I would’ve been way more worried if he hadn’t been in a relationship before me! When you get older, you realize that the people you get involved with had lives and loves long before they even knew you existed. If you’re going to obsess and be jealous of every single person they knew and loved before you, you won’t have any time or energy left to be present in your own relationship with them. BTW, this is a two-way street, as men can obsess over a woman’s past loves too. So both of you, just let it go, and as long as neither of you are still obsessing about your past loves, concentrate on the here and now, and enjoy each other. Being older should make you value today all the more, as you should be emotionally mature enough to be aware that the number of todays you have left is only getting smaller, and you shouldn’t waste them with c**p that will only sabotage (in this case, self-sabotage) your own happiness.
*raspberry sound 6 months ago
She said "new" and "demand" in the same breath. I'll be straight d@mned. Off you go, nobody has time to cater to someone whose insecurities are so deep, they demand you remove a tattoo you got, to memorialize someone who cannot compete, before you met them.
A girl 6 months ago
🚩. The guy's feelings are valid but the relationship she had was important to her. If it's a deal breaker for new guy, well, there you are. Get over it or move on.
tw 72 6 months ago
No kidding. Can you imagine if she had a child with the ex? What about friends of her and the ex? Does the ex also have to be removed from vacation and family event pictures? Yeesh.
Load More Replies...
Ace 6 months ago (edited)
I don't do tattoos, but if I did I might be tempted by something along those lines. Right now I'm wearing a lot of her favourite Jewellery (which I/we bought, mostly on holidays in Egypt) and wo betide anyone who thinks I'm weird for doing so. We were together for more than 30 years, so perhaps that makes a difference, but whatever happens in the future she'll always be a part of me and anyone who couldn't deal with that would be unworthy in the extreme.
weatherwitch 6 months ago
Ditch that 🚩 He was your childhood friend who eventually became your boyfriend. Losing someone so special at such a young age is terrible. I have Zero problem with the tattoo but I have Major problems with the new boyfriends attitude. It's borderline control. Jealousy is nasty. Ditch him
GlitterPanda 6 months ago
He's not just an ex... he's a childhood best friend who died. It's not like he's gonna come waltzing back into her life.
Tamara Kroonen 6 months ago
Unpopular opinion incoming: It is perfectly healthy to not want to be reminded of someones ex everyday you see her wrist. Everytime she j*rks him off, and he looks down, he sees DANIEL. It is weird. It is not just a matter of insecurity, it is like a constant reminder of someones ex. Nobody with healthy boundaries wants that. A symbol is a different thing. But a name? You don't have to be very insecure to feel the slightest competition to be just as great as that guy. Because, let's face it, you must be REALLY perfect to deserve your name on someones wrist. Nobody can live up to that. It is just how humans think and feel. It is just instinct. Men are very territorial, due to how their brain is wired, and an ex's name tattooed on your girl is just too much to handle. And I am a woman. It is also perfectly fine for her to want a tattoo with her ex his name. Everybody grieves in a different way. But choices have consequences, and she needs to accept that not everybody is playing along.
Tamara Kroonen 6 months ago
Message was too long so here continued... Of course the boyfriend is in the wrong to demand her to remove it. He just has to face it that she and him are not compatible. And just leave it at that and find himself another girlfriend.
Load More Replies...
dandylilah 6 months ago
My high school boyfriend of 5yrs died and I almost got a tattoo for him. Not his name or death date but a silhouette of his face. SOOOOoooo.... glad I did not! Let time heal.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 6 months ago
Among other things, there is nothing overtly romantic about the tattoo, and the guy is being possessive of her and jealous (of a dead person). We recently had a post with a guy crying with loving gratitude because he came home to his fiancé baking cupcakes with his daughter on the little girls dead mother’s birthday while rocking out to the departed favorite songs to celebrate her birthday in heaven. Try to emulate that rockstar of a human being instead of being the guy who is threatened by someone who died tragically young.
Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
So I’ve got a lot of tattoos , I’m 60 , n two kids 24-21 , when I was43 I lost a little girl , I’ve had her name tattooed under a praying angel I had done it’s very visible and you know what no one has ever asked me who she was NO ONE ! so to those up there on original post slating her wow ur inhuman ! no one will ask ffs cos no one knows if it’s a child or not ! op lovely , I think that was a beautiful thing to do for your then bf , you were a couple at the time so it’s far from weird as someone said pfft , and to your now bf , ok he’s allowed a view but , he is not the man for you sweetheart !! anyone that starts out asking you to change things is a person to run from , Take it from an abused wife back a long time ago that’s how it starts !! do not cover it up , or hide it , if any one does ask , it’s up to you what you tell them , it’s no different to losing a husband and doing the same thing ffs ! Your now bf is the one with the issues not you ! And to me it screams controlling ,
Krd 6 months ago
While it's her body, so she can get whatever she tattooed on it; but it's definitely not a non-issue. Anyone who says this is completely fine, think about this, what if your current partner had their ex's name tatooed on their chest or something else often visable? I really doubt so many people would be totally ok with it. Sure, a good portion would just internalize it, but that's not healthy. Imagine being intimate with them and seeing a memorial to their ex on them. You really think that wouldn't bother you? Humans tend to naturally be jealous/competitive, especially when concerning love/emotions. So I really doubt most people would be totally cool with this.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
None of my significant others sprang into existence the second I started dating them, so I, as a rational human being, realize that they all have a past/had a life before they met me. If a significant other had a dead partner's name tattooed on them somewhere visible, I wouldn't sit there staring at it and obsessing over my partner's past. THAT is obsessive, and THAT is actually unhealthy. Even if I could see said name during intimacy, if THAT is what you're focusing on and not on the act/moment itself and your partner... yeah, that's a YOU problem and not a tattoo problem XD If your argument was actually legitimate and valid, then people couldn't have memorials/names of dead pets tattooed on them either, because their partners wouldn't want to be thinking about poor, dead Fluffy during sèx. AND they'd be jealous of the love and affection that their partner clearly had for Fluffy.
Load More Replies... Austzn 6 months ago
Naw, a personal tattoo to remind you of someone in your life who passed is totally valid, sexual relationship or not; dude is insecure.
XenoMurph 6 months ago
Yes insecure and doesn't realise that a loss like that doesn't go away, tattoo or not. He'll always be there as part of her because her grief is part of her. He's not ready for a complex relationship. Every relationship is complex eventually.
Load More Replies... sweet emotion 6 months ago
He is absolutely allowed his feelings on the matter, just as you are allowed your feelings. While he cannot "make" you remove your tattoo, neither can you "make" him be happy about a constant reminder of your previous love. I strongly suggest you both move on and find more compatible partners.
Ellinor 6 months ago
People trying to "compete" with dead people are weird... Of course it's not easy to "get over it" when someone passed away, you have to deal not only with the loss but with the "what could have been", it's not like a breakup. OP needs to dump that guy and quick.
Apatheist Account2 6 months ago
I don't think it's always that easy. It's hard to know where their head is it - is it always going to be a comparison with what will become an increasingly rose-tinted view of their late partner? It very much depends on the people involved and their attitudes. I had one girlfriend call to me (I was in a different room) using her ex-husband's name - that wasn't easy to hear, and I can imagine the feelings for a lost one would be that much deeper. I think a tattoo like that, which she's entitled to, may jeopardise her dating future.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 6 months ago
I can't compete with my husband's late wife and don't - they had a good, solid relationship that hardly affects me, it was their own thing. We are different from that in our own relationship. This guy is just very insecure.
Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
THIS ! if the new bf is trying to compete now it’s never gonna work is it !
Load More Replies... Dusty's mom 6 months ago
A person's tats are their business. No matter what the person has inked, it's theirs. That man is too into himself to be a respectful boyfriend.
Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
This ! I’ve got 17 I’m 60 n had 5 done two yr ago , I’ve also got the name of my daughter I lost when I was 43 , bad miscarriage but far enough in to know the s*x under a large ish tat of a praying angel I had dine after she passed , and to remember the other miscarriage I had at 45 , no idea on s*x then so this is a remembrance tat , none has ever asked who the name is for either just that they are beautiful , this blokes got issues hasn’t he
Load More Replies... Robert Beveridge 6 months ago
Bro shouldn't be with ANYONE before getting some therapy for a security issue that big
Tabitha 6 months ago (edited)
My husband and I were forty-ish when we got married—-first marriage for both of us. I knew he’d had long term relationships before he met me, and I had long term relationships before I met him. I would’ve been way more worried if he hadn’t been in a relationship before me! When you get older, you realize that the people you get involved with had lives and loves long before they even knew you existed. If you’re going to obsess and be jealous of every single person they knew and loved before you, you won’t have any time or energy left to be present in your own relationship with them. BTW, this is a two-way street, as men can obsess over a woman’s past loves too. So both of you, just let it go, and as long as neither of you are still obsessing about your past loves, concentrate on the here and now, and enjoy each other. Being older should make you value today all the more, as you should be emotionally mature enough to be aware that the number of todays you have left is only getting smaller, and you shouldn’t waste them with c**p that will only sabotage (in this case, self-sabotage) your own happiness.
*raspberry sound 6 months ago
She said "new" and "demand" in the same breath. I'll be straight d@mned. Off you go, nobody has time to cater to someone whose insecurities are so deep, they demand you remove a tattoo you got, to memorialize someone who cannot compete, before you met them.
A girl 6 months ago
🚩. The guy's feelings are valid but the relationship she had was important to her. If it's a deal breaker for new guy, well, there you are. Get over it or move on.
tw 72 6 months ago
No kidding. Can you imagine if she had a child with the ex? What about friends of her and the ex? Does the ex also have to be removed from vacation and family event pictures? Yeesh.
Load More Replies... Ace 6 months ago (edited)
I don't do tattoos, but if I did I might be tempted by something along those lines. Right now I'm wearing a lot of her favourite Jewellery (which I/we bought, mostly on holidays in Egypt) and wo betide anyone who thinks I'm weird for doing so. We were together for more than 30 years, so perhaps that makes a difference, but whatever happens in the future she'll always be a part of me and anyone who couldn't deal with that would be unworthy in the extreme.
weatherwitch 6 months ago
Ditch that 🚩 He was your childhood friend who eventually became your boyfriend. Losing someone so special at such a young age is terrible. I have Zero problem with the tattoo but I have Major problems with the new boyfriends attitude. It's borderline control. Jealousy is nasty. Ditch him
GlitterPanda 6 months ago
He's not just an ex... he's a childhood best friend who died. It's not like he's gonna come waltzing back into her life.
Tamara Kroonen 6 months ago
Unpopular opinion incoming: It is perfectly healthy to not want to be reminded of someones ex everyday you see her wrist. Everytime she j*rks him off, and he looks down, he sees DANIEL. It is weird. It is not just a matter of insecurity, it is like a constant reminder of someones ex. Nobody with healthy boundaries wants that. A symbol is a different thing. But a name? You don't have to be very insecure to feel the slightest competition to be just as great as that guy. Because, let's face it, you must be REALLY perfect to deserve your name on someones wrist. Nobody can live up to that. It is just how humans think and feel. It is just instinct. Men are very territorial, due to how their brain is wired, and an ex's name tattooed on your girl is just too much to handle. And I am a woman. It is also perfectly fine for her to want a tattoo with her ex his name. Everybody grieves in a different way. But choices have consequences, and she needs to accept that not everybody is playing along.
Tamara Kroonen 6 months ago
Message was too long so here continued... Of course the boyfriend is in the wrong to demand her to remove it. He just has to face it that she and him are not compatible. And just leave it at that and find himself another girlfriend.
Load More Replies... dandylilah 6 months ago
My high school boyfriend of 5yrs died and I almost got a tattoo for him. Not his name or death date but a silhouette of his face. SOOOOoooo.... glad I did not! Let time heal.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 6 months ago
Among other things, there is nothing overtly romantic about the tattoo, and the guy is being possessive of her and jealous (of a dead person). We recently had a post with a guy crying with loving gratitude because he came home to his fiancé baking cupcakes with his daughter on the little girls dead mother’s birthday while rocking out to the departed favorite songs to celebrate her birthday in heaven. Try to emulate that rockstar of a human being instead of being the guy who is threatened by someone who died tragically young.
Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
So I’ve got a lot of tattoos , I’m 60 , n two kids 24-21 , when I was43 I lost a little girl , I’ve had her name tattooed under a praying angel I had done it’s very visible and you know what no one has ever asked me who she was NO ONE ! so to those up there on original post slating her wow ur inhuman ! no one will ask ffs cos no one knows if it’s a child or not ! op lovely , I think that was a beautiful thing to do for your then bf , you were a couple at the time so it’s far from weird as someone said pfft , and to your now bf , ok he’s allowed a view but , he is not the man for you sweetheart !! anyone that starts out asking you to change things is a person to run from , Take it from an abused wife back a long time ago that’s how it starts !! do not cover it up , or hide it , if any one does ask , it’s up to you what you tell them , it’s no different to losing a husband and doing the same thing ffs ! Your now bf is the one with the issues not you ! And to me it screams controlling ,
Krd 6 months ago
While it's her body, so she can get whatever she tattooed on it; but it's definitely not a non-issue. Anyone who says this is completely fine, think about this, what if your current partner had their ex's name tatooed on their chest or something else often visable? I really doubt so many people would be totally ok with it. Sure, a good portion would just internalize it, but that's not healthy. Imagine being intimate with them and seeing a memorial to their ex on them. You really think that wouldn't bother you? Humans tend to naturally be jealous/competitive, especially when concerning love/emotions. So I really doubt most people would be totally cool with this.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
None of my significant others sprang into existence the second I started dating them, so I, as a rational human being, realize that they all have a past/had a life before they met me. If a significant other had a dead partner's name tattooed on them somewhere visible, I wouldn't sit there staring at it and obsessing over my partner's past. THAT is obsessive, and THAT is actually unhealthy. Even if I could see said name during intimacy, if THAT is what you're focusing on and not on the act/moment itself and your partner... yeah, that's a YOU problem and not a tattoo problem XD If your argument was actually legitimate and valid, then people couldn't have memorials/names of dead pets tattooed on them either, because their partners wouldn't want to be thinking about poor, dead Fluffy during sèx. AND they'd be jealous of the love and affection that their partner clearly had for Fluffy.
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