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“If You Don’t Like Them, You Don’t Have To Live With Me”: Woman Baffled At BF’s Sudden Change
“You can never truly know another person,” people say. That can be really scary in relationships; a person can do a complete 180 without you ever knowing why. Sometimes, partners become increasingly controlling, and, as research shows, women bear the brunt of that.
68% of young women in the U.S. admit they’ve experienced one or more episodes of controlling behavior from their partners. Such an episode was the start of a really scary experience for this woman, who recently shared how her BF went from a controlling red flag to dangerous and even possibly psychotic.
RELATED:
A woman packed her bags and left after her BF started showing signs of controlling behavior
Image credits: Timur Weber/Pexels (not the actual photo)
When she wanted to go out with friends, he insisted on a curfew: “These are my standards”
Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: stomatella
There may be early signs that a partner is too controlling
People have different standards and boundaries in relationships. Some may have jealous tendencies, and for others – values just might not align. However, what some partners call boundaries are actually pretty alarming red flags.
Certain individuals might mask their controlling tendencies under the guise of boundaries and standards. But how do we know if what we’re experiencing are valid principles or just an attempt at domination?
Micromanaging is one of the most obvious signs of a manipulative partner. According to the experts at PsychCentral, a partner that is too controlling keeps tabs on everything from your weight to what people you’re meeting and even what you’re eating.
Clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., writes for Psychology Today that some partners become overly protective and controlling out of jealousy. Although at first, that jealousy can seem romantic or flattering, constant suspicion and competitiveness are signs of a controlling partner. They act paranoid about you meeting other people (or certain people) and view your every interaction as flirtatious.
Manipulative partners also make decisions for you. They think they can set curfews, agree or disagree with how you dress, insist on driving you everywhere, and purposefully waste your time to make you late.
Some manipulative partners, like the BF in this story, even make threats, which can be both physical or emotional. Sometimes, a controlling partner might even make threats about other people closest to you.
The situation doesn’t have to turn physically violent for you to know you should leave. Gretchen Shaw, deputy director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, told Newsweek that when a partner’s actions cause a person harm, the relationship is exploitative.
“I give him 100% loyalty so when I want to go out with my girlfriends, he should have 100% trust in what I do,” the woman believed
People agreed that the way the BF was acting was not okay and she was right to run
The situation escalated very quickly: the woman had to start fearing for her and her family’s lives
Image credits: Ben Moses/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: wirestock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alex Green/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ioana Motoc/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Garrett Morrow/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: stomatella
Sudden personality changes can be caused by something much more serious than listening to a Manosphere podcast
This Redditor’s story is scary and definitely not something anyone would want to experience. People in the comments speculated what could have caused the boyfriend’s sudden behavioral changes, guessing everything from the boyfriend possibly getting red-pilled online by the Manosphere to the onset of schizophrenia.
In reality, there can be several reasons for a sudden personality shift:
- A traumatic injury. Brain trauma to the frontal lobe may impact our speech, cognitive skills, and emotional expression. If a person gets into a car accident or suffers a blow to the head, one of the symptoms might impact their personality.
- Brain tumor. Not long ago, Bored Pandawrote about a husband who falsely insisted his wife was pregnant. The story turned out to be heartbreaking, as his delusion was a symptom of terminal brain cancer. So, brain tumor can sometimes be responsible for sudden personality changes.
- A mental health condition. Like some commenters already suggested, illnesses like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or PTSD may be responsible for a sudden shift in behavior. Many people in the comments were inclined to believe that it’s schizophrenia because the boyfriend is at the right age for when the symptoms first start: adolescence to eartly 30s.
- Dependance on substances. Conditions like alcoholism or dependance on harder and/or illegal substances might also be responsible for unexpected personality changes. People may become physically or psychologically violent since such substances change the brain and neurochemistry.
Some medical causes of a less extreme personality shift might include suffering a stroke Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, depression, dementia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, menopause, overactive thyroid, or an anxiety disorder.
“I fell like the word ‘yikes’ was invented for a situation like this,” people commented, reacting to the wild story
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 5 months ago
While I'm sure his mental health isn't great, he doesn't seem psychotic or primarily driven by illness. He's organised and consistent, which points more to radicalisation. She failed the test he set up, now he's reporting to violence like an honour kil.ling. Of course he's unwell, but if he were psychotic he would be messier and then cogent, and if we're delusional he would push the delusion and not adapt so well. This is just a bad person who wasn't as good as grooming his gf into coercive control than he thought. And while this particular post may be fake, this happens all the time. We need to educate young people about the warning signs.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 5 months ago
Ironic that after all his insistence about curfews to get her home where she would be safe, NOT going home was actually the thing she needed to do to keep her safe!
Annik Perrot 5 months ago
Looks like he either went through à psychotic break...or went down the masculinist rabbit hole. Maybe both.
megabeth 5 months ago
Prime age for people to develop Schizophrenia etc. I've been through it with two people who were super close to me. The initial paranoia out of nowhere is a lot for them. Sending love to all involved and hope everyone gets the help they need,.before someone gets hurt..
FreeTheUnicorn 5 months ago
It is, but there are a lot of warning signs and at onset people do come back to clarity between episodes. It's unlikely schizophrenia or bipolar is the main influence here, unless he's just lost the ability to mask his actual intentions of control and violence.
Load More Replies...
Kathrin Pukowsky 5 months ago
This screams "bipolar disorder". I have a family member who suffers from it, and this is way too similar. Not just the suddenly change in worldview, but also the ability to appear calm and collected when needed. My family member has been on medication that fits their needs for ages now, and is back to their normal, lovely self, but it was a long way to get the correct diagnosis and meds, and I don't fault OP one bit for being unable to deal with her partner having the condition (and there isn't even an explanation for her yet). I was scared for my life at times as well. I don't wish it on anybody, neither having it nor having a loved one who has it.
Bewitched One 5 months ago
I am bipolar and this is NOT a normal manifestation of bipolar disorder. Schizophrenia MAYBE, but like someone else said, he seemed to controlled for it to be mental illness.
Load More Replies...
Seedy Vine 5 months ago
Guns and training. Restraining order. Locking doors and surveillance cameras. These are things OP and her family needs right now.
CatWoman1014 5 months ago
Some people don’t start showing signs of paranoid schizophrenia until they’re older. I think he might be experiencing that.
Becca not Becky 5 months ago
Sounds like a mental health crisis, or psychotic break, judging by the way things escalated and the quotes OP shared. Stay far away, get a restraining order, and change your number in a situation like that. It's a very good thing she didn't go in person to get her things, I'm positive she wouldn't have walked out alive.
FreeTheUnicorn 5 months ago
While I'm sure his mental health isn't great, he doesn't seem psychotic or primarily driven by illness. He's organised and consistent, which points more to radicalisation. She failed the test he set up, now he's reporting to violence like an honour kil.ling. Of course he's unwell, but if he were psychotic he would be messier and then cogent, and if we're delusional he would push the delusion and not adapt so well. This is just a bad person who wasn't as good as grooming his gf into coercive control than he thought. And while this particular post may be fake, this happens all the time. We need to educate young people about the warning signs.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 5 months ago
Ironic that after all his insistence about curfews to get her home where she would be safe, NOT going home was actually the thing she needed to do to keep her safe!
Annik Perrot 5 months ago
Looks like he either went through à psychotic break...or went down the masculinist rabbit hole. Maybe both.
megabeth 5 months ago
Prime age for people to develop Schizophrenia etc. I've been through it with two people who were super close to me. The initial paranoia out of nowhere is a lot for them. Sending love to all involved and hope everyone gets the help they need,.before someone gets hurt..
FreeTheUnicorn 5 months ago
It is, but there are a lot of warning signs and at onset people do come back to clarity between episodes. It's unlikely schizophrenia or bipolar is the main influence here, unless he's just lost the ability to mask his actual intentions of control and violence.
Load More Replies... Kathrin Pukowsky 5 months ago
This screams "bipolar disorder". I have a family member who suffers from it, and this is way too similar. Not just the suddenly change in worldview, but also the ability to appear calm and collected when needed. My family member has been on medication that fits their needs for ages now, and is back to their normal, lovely self, but it was a long way to get the correct diagnosis and meds, and I don't fault OP one bit for being unable to deal with her partner having the condition (and there isn't even an explanation for her yet). I was scared for my life at times as well. I don't wish it on anybody, neither having it nor having a loved one who has it.
Bewitched One 5 months ago
I am bipolar and this is NOT a normal manifestation of bipolar disorder. Schizophrenia MAYBE, but like someone else said, he seemed to controlled for it to be mental illness.
Load More Replies... Seedy Vine 5 months ago
Guns and training. Restraining order. Locking doors and surveillance cameras. These are things OP and her family needs right now.
CatWoman1014 5 months ago
Some people don’t start showing signs of paranoid schizophrenia until they’re older. I think he might be experiencing that.
Becca not Becky 5 months ago
Sounds like a mental health crisis, or psychotic break, judging by the way things escalated and the quotes OP shared. Stay far away, get a restraining order, and change your number in a situation like that. It's a very good thing she didn't go in person to get her things, I'm positive she wouldn't have walked out alive.
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