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“You can never truly know another person,” people say. That can be really scary in relationships; a person can do a complete 180 without you ever knowing why. Sometimes, partners become increasingly controlling, and, as research shows, women bear the brunt of that.
68% of young women in the U.S. admit they’ve experienced one or more episodes of controlling behavior from their partners. Such an episode was the start of a really scary experience for this woman, who recently shared how her BF went from a controlling red flag to dangerous and even possibly psychotic.
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A woman packed her bags and left after her BF started showing signs of controlling behavior
Woman rethinks her relationship after a red-flag argument with boyfriend, showing fear and concern during tense conversation.
There may be early signs that a partner is too controlling
People have different standards and boundaries in relationships. Some may have jealous tendencies, and for others – values just might not align. However, what some partners call boundaries are actually pretty alarming red flags.
Certain individuals might mask their controlling tendencies under the guise of boundaries and standards. But how do we know if what we’re experiencing are valid principles or just an attempt at domination?
Micromanaging is one of the most obvious signs of a manipulative partner. According to the experts at PsychCentral, a partner that is too controlling keeps tabs on everything from your weight to what people you’re meeting and even what you’re eating.
Clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., writes for Psychology Today that some partners become overly protective and controlling out of jealousy. Although at first, that jealousy can seem romantic or flattering, constant suspicion and competitiveness are signs of a controlling partner. They act paranoid about you meeting other people (or certain people) and view your every interaction as flirtatious.
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Manipulative partners also make decisions for you. They think they can set curfews, agree or disagree with how you dress, insist on driving you everywhere, and purposefully waste your time to make you late.
Some manipulative partners, like the BF in this story, even make threats, which can be both physical or emotional. Sometimes, a controlling partner might even make threats about other people closest to you.
The situation doesn’t have to turn physically violent for you to know you should leave. Gretchen Shaw, deputy director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, told Newsweek that when a partner’s actions cause a person harm, the relationship is exploitative.
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“I give him 100% loyalty so when I want to go out with my girlfriends, he should have 100% trust in what I do,” the woman believed
Online discussion about a woman rethinking her relationship after a red-flag argument with her boyfriend.
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Alt text: Woman rethinking her relationship and fearing for her life after noticing red-flag arguments with her boyfriend
Woman rethinks her relationship after red-flag argument with boyfriend, ending up fearing for her life in distressing situation.
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Text conversation about a woman reconsidering her relationship after a red-flag argument with boyfriend, fearing for her safety.
Woman rethinks her relationship after one red-flag argument with boyfriend, fearing for her safety and trust issues.
People agreed that the way the BF was acting was not okay and she was right to run
Comment warning about multiple red flags in a relationship, urging a woman to rethink her safety and control concerns with her boyfriend.
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Woman rethinking her relationship after a red-flag argument with boyfriend, showing fear and concern for her safety.
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Comment advising a woman to recognize red flags and control issues in her relationship and prioritize her safety.
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ALT text: Text advising ending a relationship after noticing red-flag arguments and fearing for personal safety and control.
The situation escalated very quickly: the woman had to start fearing for her and her family’s lives
Worried woman rethinks her relationship after a red-flag argument, showing fear and emotional distress in dim lighting.
Sudden personality changes can be caused by something much more serious than listening to a Manosphere podcast
This Redditor’s story is scary and definitely not something anyone would want to experience. People in the comments speculated what could have caused the boyfriend’s sudden behavioral changes, guessing everything from the boyfriend possibly getting red-pilled online by the Manosphere to the onset of schizophrenia.
A traumatic injury. Brain trauma to the frontal lobe may impact our speech, cognitive skills, and emotional expression. If a person gets into a car accident or suffers a blow to the head, one of the symptoms might impact their personality.
Brain tumor. Not long ago, Bored Pandawrote about a husband who falsely insisted his wife was pregnant. The story turned out to be heartbreaking, as his delusion was a symptom of terminal brain cancer. So, brain tumor can sometimes be responsible for sudden personality changes.
A mental health condition. Like some commenters already suggested, illnesses like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or PTSD may be responsible for a sudden shift in behavior. Many people in the comments were inclined to believe that it’s schizophrenia because the boyfriend is at the right age for when the symptoms first start: adolescence to eartly 30s.
Dependance on substances. Conditions like alcoholism or dependance on harder and/or illegal substances might also be responsible for unexpected personality changes. People may become physically or psychologically violent since such substances change the brain and neurochemistry.
Some medical causes of a less extreme personality shift might include suffering a stroke Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, depression, dementia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, menopause, overactive thyroid, or an anxiety disorder.
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“I fell like the word ‘yikes’ was invented for a situation like this,” people commented, reacting to the wild story
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Woman rethinks her relationship after a red-flag argument, feeling fearful and uncertain about her safety.
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Comment expressing gratitude for avoiding escalation and pride in recognizing red flags early in a relationship.
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Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.
Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.
In my spare time, I enjoy creating art - both in traditional and digital form, mainly in the form of painting and animation. Other interests include gaming and music. Favorite bands include Swans, The Strokes, The Beatles.
In my spare time, I enjoy creating art - both in traditional and digital form, mainly in the form of painting and animation. Other interests include gaming and music. Favorite bands include Swans, The Strokes, The Beatles.
The original post: what the hell...? Get out, girl! The update: WHAT THE HELL!!! GET OUT GIRL!! AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER ANYWAY!! I'm glad Op is safe, but man, from 0 to 100 psycho, I hope Op can move on from this.
While I'm sure his mental health isn't great, he doesn't seem psychotic or primarily driven by illness. He's organised and consistent, which points more to radicalisation. She failed the test he set up, now he's reporting to violence like an honour kil.ling. Of course he's unwell, but if he were psychotic he would be messier and then cogent, and if we're delusional he would push the delusion and not adapt so well. This is just a bad person who wasn't as good as grooming his gf into coercive control than he thought. And while this particular post may be fake, this happens all the time. We need to educate young people about the warning signs.
The original post: what the hell...? Get out, girl! The update: WHAT THE HELL!!! GET OUT GIRL!! AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER ANYWAY!! I'm glad Op is safe, but man, from 0 to 100 psycho, I hope Op can move on from this.
While I'm sure his mental health isn't great, he doesn't seem psychotic or primarily driven by illness. He's organised and consistent, which points more to radicalisation. She failed the test he set up, now he's reporting to violence like an honour kil.ling. Of course he's unwell, but if he were psychotic he would be messier and then cogent, and if we're delusional he would push the delusion and not adapt so well. This is just a bad person who wasn't as good as grooming his gf into coercive control than he thought. And while this particular post may be fake, this happens all the time. We need to educate young people about the warning signs.
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