At dinner with my soon to be husband and two of his grown children, on the eve of our wedding, the topic of family came up. I referred to my husband's mother's husband who had never adopted my husband who had been born several years before they married, as their grandmother's husband. My fiance kicked me hard under the table. I blurted out "what are you doing" and he kicked me again and gave me a stern look. I spent the rest of the evening speaking only as much as necessary. When we got home I asked him what that was all about. He said that his family had kept the secret that he was not the natural child of his mother's husband and his grown children still did not know the truth. I felt deceived. I told him that was not right or fair to them not to be allowed to know of their true birth heritage and asked him to tell them the truth. He said he would and later said he did. We don't often see his kids but when we do, they don't ever mention anything about their grandparents who are now deceased. I don't believe it changed their feelings if indeed he did tell them. As for me, there were more deceptions that came to light, twists and tweaking of truths which have left me with unanswered questions. All of this has shaken my trust and affected my feelings toward him. He is deeply firmly entrenched in what is HIS reality. It will not change, ever.
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