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22YO Refuses To Babysit Nightmare Teen Bro While Parents Go On Vacation, Dad Has A Total Meltdown
Your teens years can be a rollercoaster ride. You’re testing boundaries, your hormones are all over the place, and you’re doing your best to figure out how to fit in with what’s cool and avoid what isn’t. No wonder teens have a reputation for being moody.
One woman, whose 13-year-old brother constantly mocks her, finally reached her limit and told her parents there was no way she was going to babysit him while they went on vacation. Now, her dad is mad, so she turned to an online community for advice.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
There’s a reason people call adolescence the “Terrible Teens,” but that’s still no excuse for acting like a jerk
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman’s 13-year-old brother has a nasty habit of mocking and insulting her endlessly, bringing her to tears in the past
Image credits: seventyfour / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite his rotten behavior, her dad still asked her to babysit him, along with her grandma, while he went away on vacation with her mom
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Then the grandma pulled out, which meant the woman would have to take care of the terrible teen for a lot longer, something she wasn’t prepared to do
Image credits: redditsomewhere123
When she told her dad she wasn’t comfortable taking on the emotional stress, he had a meltdown, so now she’s turned to an online community to ask if she’s being a jerk
Family obligations can get tricky, especially when emotions run high. A 22-year-old original poster (OP) recently shared her dilemma after her dad asked her to babysit her 13-year-old brother so he and her mom could enjoy a 50th birthday trip. At first, the plan was split between her and their grandma, that is, until grandma revealed she’d be away.
The issue? Puberty has hit the younger brother hard, and according to OP, it’s not just mood swings. She describes constant insults, name-calling, and behavior that feels more like bullying than sibling teasing. Even during a recent family vacation, his relentless mockery left her in tears, which he only ridiculed her further for.
OP explained that she’d already told her dad she couldn’t take on the responsibility, especially since her brother openly admitted he’d break the rules by inviting friends over. She stressed she didn’t want the responsibility (or the emotional toll) of managing his bad behavior. Despite this, her dad lost it when she wouldn’t budge.
She offered to help find alternative solutions, but her dad refused and accused her of “running away from responsibilities.” Now, she’s left feeling guilty but also drained by the situation, so she turned to netizens for a sense check.
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Who can blame OP for wanting to dodge the drama? Her brother sounds like an absolute nightmare, right? Would she even be in this mess if her parents had actually spent some time and effort raising the terrible teen better? We went looking for answers.
According to Psychology Today, research begun by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s identified three main parenting styles: authoritarian, indulgent, and authoritative. Later studies added a fourth: neglectful. Every parent does not neatly fit into one of these four categories, but they describe the approaches of many.
Authoritarian parenting is about sticking to rules, a dominating style, and a lot of control. Indulgent parenting is distinguished by attentive parents who provide plenty of warmth and interaction but few rules and constraints. An “anything goes” attitude is typical of indulgent parents, and parents seem more like friends than parents.
Authoritative parents encourage their children to be independent but also set limits and boundaries. Finally, neglectful parenting is when parents barely assume a parenting role and are happy to let the tablets and TV do the babysitting.
In her article for Mayo Clinic, Candace Nelson writes that if you find that your child is acting out, you might need to adjust your parenting style. Expert Hannah Mulholland suggests thinking back to your own childhood and what worked for you and what didn’t.
It looks like OP’s parents have got some work to do if they’re going to tame their tantrum-throwing, toxic teen. Maybe having to sacrifice their vacation because he’s a terror will be an overdue reality check.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think she has a point, or should she just suck it up and buckle to babysitting? Share your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers seemed to agree that the woman was not the jerk in the sticky situation, and had some stern words about her parents’ obvious poor parenting
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What do you think ?
arthbach 2 months ago
It's the parents who are the AHs. They are not parenting their problematic child. They are failing in their responsibilities and failing their child. It is not acceptable for a child to talk to family members in this way. If a child, if anyone, talked to me in the way the sister described there is absolutely no way I would be looking after them for even one second.
Remi Flynne 2 months ago
Exactly. You don't get to go on holiday, no matter what the occasion, and dump your child and all his problems on someone else. That's exactly when you need to step up and deal with him. You can have a holiday when (if!) you've helped resolve the child's problems. Holidays are wonderful but they're not an essential. You can go without it, doesn't sound like the teenager can go without some serious help.
Load More Replies...
Seedy Vine 2 months ago
OP, verbal abùse like this can escalate into physical. Stay away from your family. Good luck and be safe. Maybe file a restraining order and start documenting what your younger brother does and intends to do. I would go no contact with the whole family. Maybe even move. I seem intense but the news is full of stories like this that end badly. Good luck.
Tabitha 2 months ago
Sounds like the parents need to send bro to a therapist ASAP. You never know why a teenager has changed so radically. Could be hormones, yes, but could also be another issue that didn’t arise until they hit adolescence. Could be he’s started running with the wrong crowd, and who knows what they’re experimenting with doing or taking. The orients really need to enlist the help of qualified professionals to get through this phase, before bro gets even bigger and stronger and hurts someone—-and that someone could be one of them.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 months ago
No is a complete sentence. Since you don't live with them, it would be pretty hard to "make" you babysit. You Dad is just as much of a doormat as you are. You both need to grow some spines, and yes - your brother definitely needs some form of therapy. Maybe your parents actually ACTING like parents would be a start.
J R 2 months ago
This isn't typical teenage behavior. I have a brother, too, and he also could be a brat and rude when he was a teenager. He would never dare call my mom, my sister, nor I those names. Yeah, there were guys in high school who said stuff like that, but those were the ones with other behavioral issues. It's up to the parents to address this and, if they feel they can't do it alone, get the brother in therapy.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
If a 13 yo needs a babysitter, it's not his sister's fault. I'm not saying he shouldn't have an adult to call or someone checking in with him daily, but if he requires a babysitter at 13, and he doesn't have a medical reason, parents have done a terrible job.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
You're conceptually wrong. A 13-year-old is fine to leave alone for several hours during the day, say, while a parent is at work. It is NOT acceptable to leave a minor child completely alone for DAYS while Mom and Dad go on vacation. Not only are there incredible risks involved to the child's health and wellbeing, there are all sorts of natural disasters or horrible-human things that could occur (fire, terrible storm, someone breaking into the house, etc.) An adult "checking in" daily could find a dead child in the home the next day if something happens overnight. I'm also pretty sure it's illegal to leave a minor child unattended for days, at least in the US. It's considered neglect and could be considered child abandonment. Plus, do you expect an already-troubled 13-year-old boy to react appropriately, without panic, and call authorities in a timely manner while some emergency is happening, or if he injures himself badly?
Load More Replies...
1LittleGranny64 2 weeks ago
When my son (6’1”) was sixteen, he decided that he was king of the house. Mama and daddy set that attitude straight immediately and we never had another issue with him. If you don’t fix it, they will destroy the family and themselves.
mria alternativa 2 months ago
The people who say she should try harder should pony up and start working with problem teens. All it takes is effort, right? They would have the world's problems solved in a weekend. 🙄 (sarcasm, if there was any doubt.)
arthbach 2 months ago
It's the parents who are the AHs. They are not parenting their problematic child. They are failing in their responsibilities and failing their child. It is not acceptable for a child to talk to family members in this way. If a child, if anyone, talked to me in the way the sister described there is absolutely no way I would be looking after them for even one second.
Remi Flynne 2 months ago
Exactly. You don't get to go on holiday, no matter what the occasion, and dump your child and all his problems on someone else. That's exactly when you need to step up and deal with him. You can have a holiday when (if!) you've helped resolve the child's problems. Holidays are wonderful but they're not an essential. You can go without it, doesn't sound like the teenager can go without some serious help.
Load More Replies... Seedy Vine 2 months ago
OP, verbal abùse like this can escalate into physical. Stay away from your family. Good luck and be safe. Maybe file a restraining order and start documenting what your younger brother does and intends to do. I would go no contact with the whole family. Maybe even move. I seem intense but the news is full of stories like this that end badly. Good luck.
Tabitha 2 months ago
Sounds like the parents need to send bro to a therapist ASAP. You never know why a teenager has changed so radically. Could be hormones, yes, but could also be another issue that didn’t arise until they hit adolescence. Could be he’s started running with the wrong crowd, and who knows what they’re experimenting with doing or taking. The orients really need to enlist the help of qualified professionals to get through this phase, before bro gets even bigger and stronger and hurts someone—-and that someone could be one of them.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 months ago
No is a complete sentence. Since you don't live with them, it would be pretty hard to "make" you babysit. You Dad is just as much of a doormat as you are. You both need to grow some spines, and yes - your brother definitely needs some form of therapy. Maybe your parents actually ACTING like parents would be a start.
J R 2 months ago
This isn't typical teenage behavior. I have a brother, too, and he also could be a brat and rude when he was a teenager. He would never dare call my mom, my sister, nor I those names. Yeah, there were guys in high school who said stuff like that, but those were the ones with other behavioral issues. It's up to the parents to address this and, if they feel they can't do it alone, get the brother in therapy.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
If a 13 yo needs a babysitter, it's not his sister's fault. I'm not saying he shouldn't have an adult to call or someone checking in with him daily, but if he requires a babysitter at 13, and he doesn't have a medical reason, parents have done a terrible job.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
You're conceptually wrong. A 13-year-old is fine to leave alone for several hours during the day, say, while a parent is at work. It is NOT acceptable to leave a minor child completely alone for DAYS while Mom and Dad go on vacation. Not only are there incredible risks involved to the child's health and wellbeing, there are all sorts of natural disasters or horrible-human things that could occur (fire, terrible storm, someone breaking into the house, etc.) An adult "checking in" daily could find a dead child in the home the next day if something happens overnight. I'm also pretty sure it's illegal to leave a minor child unattended for days, at least in the US. It's considered neglect and could be considered child abandonment. Plus, do you expect an already-troubled 13-year-old boy to react appropriately, without panic, and call authorities in a timely manner while some emergency is happening, or if he injures himself badly?
Load More Replies... 1LittleGranny64 2 weeks ago
When my son (6’1”) was sixteen, he decided that he was king of the house. Mama and daddy set that attitude straight immediately and we never had another issue with him. If you don’t fix it, they will destroy the family and themselves.
mria alternativa 2 months ago
The people who say she should try harder should pony up and start working with problem teens. All it takes is effort, right? They would have the world's problems solved in a weekend. 🙄 (sarcasm, if there was any doubt.)
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