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30 Women Open Up About Dating After Learning Of “Red Pill Men” In The Wild
Who doesn’t love talking to a guy whose regard of womankind is slightly lower than that of stray dogs? They’re always sneaky, too, right? They won’t open up about their godawful views until you’ve sat down, had a drink or two, and have let your guard down.
When they’re nice and cozy, like the abhorrent parasitic tick, they show their true colors and just whale on you with the worst views ever known to humanity. Let’s look at some experiences that women have had with these “red-pilled” gentlemen.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Ex-lady, so take my input with a grain of salt as I am read as a man 100% of the time. But one thing I noticed after transitioning is that the type of men who would give me the heebie jeebies as a woman turned out to be WORSE than I could have imagined. When in the presence of other men they tend to say what they really think, and their hatred of women shapes basically their entire worldview. If you get that gut feeling a guy is a misogynist, chances are you aren't just right, but that he's even more of a terrible person than he's letting on.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
Your unique perspective is so vital to helping men understand this and call each other out.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 2 years ago
I agree. I was about to comment the same thing.
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Vic 2 years ago
I have started hating male company, and currently I don't have too many women friends so I am almost friendless. My wife tries to encourage me to go hand out with some guys, I don't have it me to tell her I hate it.. she already has a bleak and pessimistic view of the world, I don't want to make it worse. I only guy I enjoy hanging out with is my little man, he's only 8 now. But I hope I can help him shape into a good person. That's my biggest worry in life..
Tamra 2 years ago
I think if you're aware enough to be concerned about raising your son to be a good man, then you're definitely on the right path. S****y parents don't worry about whether or not they're doing a good job.
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Cat Houston 2 years ago
I've heard how men talk amongst themselves, which makes them all seem like lying creeps.
Tara L. 2 years ago
Yup, I've observed many men that go completely anti-woman if they get dumped or cheated on. They'll blame every woman out there & paint them all with the same brush over ONE bad experience. They never move on! Like wtf? I've had my share of rotten guys who lied and/or cheated but I moved on & dated again & never blamed other men for the bad behavior of an ex. I just don't understand why they can't just get over it & move on.
Mia Blossom 1 year ago
I briefly worked in a male dominated industry. It was also horrific. They basically had a r@pe fantasy over every women or girl that walked past.
Cat Houston 1 year ago
Do other men still stand by nodding along or do other men actually speak up now? Until they are shown that it isn't appropriate in the company of men, as well as women, they will think it's okay.
Cat Houston 1 year ago
Are men still just nodding along with it or does anyone actually correct the loser? It's when other men stand by and allow it, that it continues.
DuckDuckGooseberry 1 year ago
Ex lady... i like that. (And before anyone says, no I'm NOT bigoted, this man & I are actually similar.)
RELATED:
#2
Absolutely. To rephrase your question: "Ladies, has the increased chance of encountering men who do not see you as a person affected your attraction to men?" Yes. Yes, it has. I like being a person, and being treated like one is the minimum for any interaction. The bar for romance for me is way higher than that (as it should be).
Honestly, I think straight women like me are the absolute proof you cannot choose your sexual orientation. I'd date women in a heartbeat if I had the tiniest romantic feeling for them. Men can be really f*****g scary.
Somebodys grandmother 2 years ago (edited)
Totally agree. As a midwife have seen 1000's of naked women... i'm straight. Not one had turn me on... and yet men had scared me...
Alex Luiz 2 years ago
I mean...Maybe the context in which you have seen these naked women was not ideal for you to become attracted to them?
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Black Cat 2 years ago
I absolutely envy gay women. The way so many men behave repels me. So happy to spend the rest of my life single. Men just aren't worth the risk.
Jiji The Cat 2 years ago
as a gay woman, there are benefits, but there's also the homophobes, the 'i can change you' a-holes, and other things we have to deal with.
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Jaybird3939 2 years ago
I figured I'd have such a much better romance/sex life if I were a lesbian. Unfortunately, I like other women, I just don't have a passion for them. Those damn males are what does it for me. Rats!!
Gary Edwards 1 year ago
I wouldn't say there's a increased chance, rather the guys who already were like that are now worse
Avinash JR 1 year ago
Lmao get a life , if you were so obsessed about women why would you even try dating men in the first place 🤡.
#3
I gotta say, I don't lose all hope for men when I see a post where a woman talks about her s****y experiences with men or male partners.
But I **DO** start losing hope and respect for men when I see what they comment on those kinds of posts
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
Men, let's just stop defending idiots. Please. Another guy can be stupid without anyone calling you stupid. Men can be stereotyped in a certain way without it being true about you. But also, sometimes we just have things to learn. I know I do! Let's chase humility through listening. :)
David Stotter 1 year ago
Virtually ALL women ultimately think it's EVERY man...that's all there is to it. Women get upset when men say 'not all', proving that it's a blanket belief they have, regardless of what they say. Only men they personally know are even partially exempt from that characterisation. This opinion has already seen me branded (en masse) as an incel or woman-hater of some sort, and spiteful assertions have made about my ability to attract a partner and whether I still live in my parents basement. Despite women saying they want allies...there is absolute hatred of me based solely on me self-identifying as not part of the problem.
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Ruth Harper 2 years ago
Thanks for proving the point. It is the men who insist on pointing out "not all men" on any post where women talk about their experience who are a huge part of the problem.
Load More Replies...To get some insight from someone with a unique perspective into this topic, we reached out to Hannah McKnight, a returning interview guest of Bored Panda! Hannah has significant experience presenting as male and female, so she has witnessed how men behave behind closed doors.
She has a mission - to talk about balancing life between genders, trans activism, social awareness, and everything that entails. If you’d like to find out more about her, make sure to visit her website!
#4
Early in my current relationship I noticed a used tear gas canister on my partners shelf. Thought it was a little reg flaggy. Asked about it, during a George Floyd protest it was thrown near him (he’s a corn-fed midwestern white boy), grabbed it diffused it in a fountain and put it his backpack. At the end of the story he said something like ‘some people hang bucks/fish, I keep social justice trophies’. In grad school he testified against two male students in his program that were found to have harassed (19) and assault (3) women. There are good men out there that are true genuine allies that support women and POC. Hope red pillers choke on it
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
All these guys out here think they're badass, but that's actually the most BA thing I've ever read. Excellent social justice work!
Tara L. 2 years ago (edited)
Men don't have to be a social justice warrior to be a good man who treat women with respect. My husband is the kindest man you could ever meet, he treats everyone with respect regardless of gender or race, he's also a good ol' southern white boy (though he's politically in the middle rather than being far left or right). We've been together for 15 years, he's a simple man who works hard for his family & treats us wonderfully, he's kind to animals too. He's never ever raised his voice at us, he rarely even gets angry & when he does we talk calmly about it. He has so much patience with the kids too. If something ever happened to him I'll just stay single, I doubt I'll ever find such a kind & caring man again.
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I'm confused by this one. So was he protesting with the George Floyd protesters and against harassers and assaulters? So isnt he good?
Scented Candle 2 years ago
OP is using this man as an example of a good man
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I'm married so it doesn't have much impact on me personally in my daily life. However, if anything were to happen to my husband, I'd be single and celibate for the rest of my days on this planet.
Michelle Reynolds 2 years ago
Unmarried women live longer than married women. Married men live longer than single men. I see women as the life giving variable here. Divorced and loving it!!!
RabidChild 2 years ago
That's where I am now. I get lonely but not so lonely that I'm willing to go through abuse again.
geezeronthehill 2 years ago
Lord, this makes me sad. My wife passed 2 years ago and I have no urge to venture off my mountain anymore. This all makes me think I'm right about dating again.
Eliza Yanik 2 years ago
If something were to happen to my husband it’s just me and the cats… maybe a lesbian fling 🤷🏼♀️
Tara L. 2 years ago
Agree, if my husband passes before me I'll probably stay single. I was lucky enough to find a very kind & sweet man, I don't want to go through the dating scene again. I have the best & really don't think I could put up with any bad behavior from a guy after so many years of being treated so well by my husband. I've had some really scary experiences with awful guys before I met my husband, dating is terrifying.
usernamenotfound 2 years ago
Yeah. My husband left last year. I'm 52 and I'm just not interested in dating again. It sounds horrible lol
Tara L. 1 year ago
Same. I told my husband once that if he passed I'd stay single & never remarry or even date. He thought i was being sweet, but the truth is I know I got lucky with him being such a good man & I just don't ever want to go back to the dating scene & deal with other men ever again.
#6
I've noticed, aside from redpill stuff, that society has become harder for EVERYONE to live in, but they act like it's only them.
It's more expensive, people are working so much harder for less. Lonelyness is off the charts for EVERYONE. But they see that more women have community and support. They see women only shelters and suicide rates for men and think "Hmph!! Why do THEY get extra help?!" What they fail to see is women get these things because of other women. WE built these spaces, we volunteer, we go out of our way for others because of compassion and empathy.
Men are the ones who see what we have and then want it too. I see so many men talk about having a girlfriend as if it will actually solve any of their problems, but it's all selfish. "I'll have some to love ME and raise my sense of self worth! To hug, to cuddle, to f**k, to cook and clean" providing for us is all they need to do, right? Wrong. We are also working people who have our own wants, needs, and aspirations. They come into relationships, incompetant about the give and take required. They want maid mommys.
What they need is to do away with the toxic masculinity bs so many of them say they're oppressed by, work on their empathy, and make their own friends and community and stop trying to leech it from or destroy it for women. Litterally, just do better, be better. Actually put effort in, cause growth doesn't just fall onto your lap
Eva Intrav 2 years ago
All of this. I still abide by the idea that "women are NOT responsible for fixing broken men." Sort your s**t out first before getting even remotely close to a women.
Craig Reynolds 1 year ago
And good men are not responsible for fixing broken women. It works both ways.
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PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
As a man who has focused 20 yrs of his life on paying attention to his feelings and talking about them, I am endlessly saddened by all of this...
Kristin Burggraf 2 years ago
Brilliant and eloquently put! Brava!!! It's the immaturity in the observer that says "but I want that" rather than celebrating that it exists. I don't fault anyone for not be able to appreciate what they're starving for, but to demonize anyone for having it...
Melissa 2 years ago
This describes my ex husband so much... I stayed for too long, expecting him to someday want more and do something meaningful. Instead, he made excuses to do less as time went on, even claiming to have the things I suffer with to excuse his behavior and living off of my disability. That was towards the end, and I was sick of the relationship and our miserable life together. He tried every kind of manipulation to try to make me just continue to accept his lifestyle of sitting on a computer all day and do nothing to improve himself. He even went so far as to get therapy and pretend he was doing something, but I found out he wasn't telling her anything useful and claimed his "therapist in training" suggested he might have PTSD from things he didn't remember... which is not how it works. I am diagnosed with it. He also would smoke all of the weed I would use medicinally claiming he needed it... only to admit shortly after that it helped him enjoy his games more.
Melissa 2 years ago
there's so much more to it, but essentially I was brainwashed by his manipulation to take care of him and protect him from the beginning. For 16 years. Eventually broke out of it with the help from an outside source and realized the extent of what I was dealing with and I wasn't as responsible for what was happening as his behavior was. I did everything I could do to make things better but he was an anchor keeping me stuck. There was no future with him that I wanted and he was a huge part of why I was hopeless and wanted to die. It took 7 months of trying to break up with him and getting argued into submission over and over but I eventually got out. Our house burning down in one of the California fires helped me make the final split. Two years later he's still moping at his mom's house about how much of a victim he is while doing nothing but sitting on his computer. His mom enables him and they all believe I am the bad guy and should have just continued to baby him. B******t.
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AsylumWalker 1 year ago
Bringin up the suicide rate was always wild to me, because women attempt in far higher numbers than men, rhey just tend to choose methods that are less effective
ROSESARERED 12 months ago
No other person can fix your loneliness or self worth. That is something we have to find for ourselves. Having a partner/ girlfriend/boyfriend etc will not change how we feel about ourselves. Fix yourself, find hobbies, social groups, get therapy etc, find you...no one else can
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago (edited)
The maid mommy thing is why many men don't get the amount of sex they would like or even the amount the woman would like; you can't be a lazy a*****e all day then think you're a man in the bedroom. No woman wants sex with a child she's had to nag all day; it's not f***ing complicated
Hannah begins by talking a little about gender identity and her own identity in relation: “I'm a transgender girl. Identifying as transgender, in my opinion, is very inclusive and can cover quite a few different, albeit nuanced, gender identities. Being transgender doesn't necessarily mean transitioning, taking hormones, or legally changing one's name. If I need to get more specific about my gender, I identify as bi-gender. What this means to me is that I don't feel the need to, ah, commit to one gender identity or to one gender presentation. Sometimes I am wearing a necktie and use he/him pronouns, other days I am strutting around a bookstore in a cute dress.”
“Of course, gender is a social construct and gender isn't binary, but that is a topic for another time."
#7
I am more fearful of men in general now. I’ve become more aware of how men see us, in a way I never was before. A lot of them seem to hate us. When your read the words they use to describe women, it’s like we aren’t even human to them.
zak 2 years ago
There's so much animosity and ego out there, in this regard and just in general. I think ego is the root cause of so many of society's ills, and I truly believe if everyone had one or two (preferably guided) powerful psychedelic experiences (mushrooms, dmt, etc), it would massively reduce the amount of hate and violence in this world.
Black Cat 2 years ago
What I don't understand is why do they hate/fear them so much? It's not like we've oppressed them for millenia, or we randomly rape, attack or kill them. Women have far more reason to hate men than the other way around.
Melissa 2 years ago
I absolutely agree, although some women can be completely horrible psychologically. My aunt growing up was horrible and is a covert narcissist, as is one of my recent ex friends. They play the most abusive mind games to get whatever they want and so many times they get away with it. But there are so many good ones who get ignored because they aren't as magnetic as the narcissists can be. There are horrible people on both sides and they are used as examples of why everyone on one side are all bad. Unfortunately the men who are awful tend to get along better and can enable each other to be worse, horrible women tend to be more alone, at least as time goes on. It's awful how narcissistic people band together to help each other abuse people.
Load More Replies... Cat Houston 2 years ago
Unfortunately, misogyny is rampant. Whole countries oppress women, blatantly. The US sent women back 50 years and no one batts an eyelash.
Tara L. 2 years ago
They do see us as objects, objects that they somehow deserve to have! They act like they're owed a woman, but not any woman. She must be a "10" 🙄, cook & clean for him, never complain, always service him sexually anytime he wants, they aren't allowed to say "No" to him etc. He of course doesn't have to be a good person, they're owed the perfect woman and they're allowed to treat her however they want. I've seen guys, still living at home, very overweight, look like they don't bathe often, screaming about being shot down by some woman on the street who's a "ten" going on about how all women are "b*tches & wh*res" etc just because he thinks he can be a slob & still get the prom queen & won't settle for anything less 🙄 because he's "owed". They'll scream that all women should be punished, that we all are horrible & deserve to be hurt....it's really scary.
WalterWhiteSavannah 2 years ago
My gf often says if we don't work out shes done with men for good. Given the interactions and what I've seen from her ex husband I don't blame her a bit... still as much as I love her it kibda feels like a lot of pressure sometimes. Thats why I hate those idiots that always feel the need to say "not all men" or whatever stupid s**t.
Poppy 2 years ago
Whilst most women are aware that 'Not all men' are dangerous, we just don't know which ones ARE. It's not like they wear a badge or anything so we know to avoid. But men complaining 'not all men' are the men we do avoid, because it tries to minimise the horrific abuses women suffer at the hands of THOSE men. They aren't hearing our fear, anger, disgust etc, all they can think about is 'I don't want to be called out for being an a*****e so I'll be an a*****e about it'
Melissa 2 years ago
absolutely agree, I used to have male friends like that but they aren't my friends anymore. I won't deal with that unhealthy garbage anymore. Especially when they all have bitter views on women and take no accountability for choosing to live in ways and say things a woman wouldn't find attractive. They should just be accepted "as is" with no work to be better people or improve their crappy lives.
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Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 years ago
I sometimes wonder if my view of men is skewed by the way that we only hear about the bad things that they do? It’s never a news headline that man was really compassionate to a women etc. Then I listen to my colleagues/service users and think nope, single is the way to be….
ROSESARERED 12 months ago
I'm single, and staying single. The last guy I dated, and stupidity got engaged to, has ruined my trust of relationships....especially one so intimate, thst can become so soul breaking. I lost me, my trust in my 'trust' of others, and it has taken years to find myself again...no thanks, stay away, no more dating for me...the last time nearly killed me.
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
Agree completely, even just in the past few months. It's like there's been an energy shift or something; it feels different
#8
I honestly think it’s made me a lot more aware of early warning signs in a guy.
Not too long ago I was casually dating this guy, he was very clean cut and put together on the surface, we got on well and the sex was okay but I didn’t mind because I figured it’d get better in time with communication.
We stopped talking because I very nicely said I did like sleeping with him but if he could do more foreplay during sex it’d be great. He became a bit standoffish. Then started giving me the silent treatment but made it very obvious he was ignoring me and I was more turned off by how immature it came off across.
Turns out he was a huge tater tot, followed a bunch of instagram accounts that posted his videos. One of the vids he saw was another red pill dude who very clearly had daddy issues say “If you give your girl the silent treatment, she’ll be so desperate for attention she’ll be reaching out to you”.
He got PISSED that I didn’t do this and deleted me off everything lol.
So yah, I’m lucky I have some genuinely amazing men in my life but it’s really made me more aware of subtle stuff.
LB 2 years ago
After having read a bunch of things, including "the fruit of knowledge" by Liv Strömquist, I have concluded that foreplay should be deleted from the dictionary... The word implies that there is a beginning, middle, and an end. The end being the (cis) male orgasm, of course. This is why some people think I cannot have 'real sex' with my partner (who also has a vulva). And it leads to these "whoever says A needs to say B" kind of interactions I have had in the past with (cis) men. I am of the opinion that sex can be anything you want it to be. I have started labeling different kinds of physical intimacy as sex, because there is sexual energy and that is enough for me. Took some re-training my own mind, but I feel it is worth it. I am now free to enjoy exactly what I want without feeling like my sex needs to have any kind of pattern or goal.
Tobias Reaper 2 years ago
i dont get that why he got pissed if my partner communicated what she wanted me to do in bed then thats a good thing i had an ex who didnt say anything to me and as she was the one who i had lost my virginity to i had no idea what i was doing she never communicated this to me
Lena Flising 1 year ago
More like "If you give A girl (she's not yours, you don't own her) the silent treatment, you come off as a toddler in a surly mode, and she'll be waiting until you resolve your surly mode".
#9
I think, more generally, the internet has affected my attraction to men.
Men seem to think everyone on the internet is a man, so they feel comfy saying all that misogynist s**t that apparently most of them believe very openly. The internet made 'locker room talk' public and I've been judging men for it since then.
Black Cat 2 years ago
Why do men hate women so much. Yes I know a lot of women hate men too, but women have good reason to be resentful of men - being oppressed throughout history, being raped, randomly attacked, killed, treated as objects, having to severely curtail our basic rights to avoid being raped, killed etc. But why do so many men hate women??
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Because they view us as a hole they are entitled to f*ck, and get mad when we say no.
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Scented Candle 2 years ago (edited)
Exactly. For men who claim to be the straightest of the straight, they sure don’t have any love for women
Black Cat 2 years ago
True, it's an absolute tragedy a lot more men aren't gay.
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JammaCoast2Coast 2 years ago
Being the owner of an androgynous name means I get misgendered often and men online feel very comfortable being inappropriate. It is exhausting
She goes on to talk about how it may be difficult for some cisgender people to grasp gender identity: “Gender identity is a strange and difficult concept for some cisgender people to understand. I think much of this comes from an inability to relate to someone who feels the gender they were assigned at birth isn't quite right. I don't fault someone for not being able to relate to me. We all have different experiences and these experiences shape our opinions and feelings and thoughts. If you've never felt like the gender the doctor scribbled on your birth certificate was wrong, it's not always easy to grasp why someone would feel this way. No, I don't expect anyone to understand me. But I would hope, at the very least, you treat me kindly.”
#10
It has made me very leery of dating, and if a man does anything red-pillish, such as trying to lower my confidence, pouf, I'm gone. Interestingly, it has made me reexamine my unconscious assumption of the desirability of being in a couple. I find being on my own, with the company of lots of platonic friends, peaceful, fun and fulfilling.
Pigeon (they/them) 2 years ago
YES! Thank you! So many people don’t understand that platonic relationships can be just as fulfilling as romantic ones! It’s absolutely mind-boggling how many times I’ve complained about people acting like romantic relationships are above platonic ones and been met with “well they are.”
Black Cat 2 years ago
No platonic relationships are the gold standard because there is no hidden agenda.
Load More Replies... Gry Hansen 1 year ago
That's me. I have serious mental issues, so meeting new people is already difficult. Imagine me dating! I'd rather be single than risk my mental health just to be in a relationship.
#11
Women in the US and China have been taking dates to the Barbie Movie to "vet" against sexist men. Not to mention the drove of breakups that came after men saw the movie and showed their true colors to their now ex gfs.
They always out themselves eventually.
Women see it just... we don't really need men the way they need women.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
"the way they need women..." ugh I cringe every time I read/hear something like this. the "men have needs" trope is just untrue at it's core. It's an excuse to be a pig. Guys, if you're a pig, instead of excusing it as if you are biologically incapable of self control, work on bettering yourself so that you can care about others for a change.
Hokuloa 2 years ago
Yup, such a cop out. I don’t think enough men realize how pathetic this mindset makes them look. Instead of looking powerful and intelligent, the “men have needs” mindset makes men look like basic, ignorant beasts. Even most dogs have enough sense not to try and hump everything that moves…
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Black Cat 2 years ago
I think it's true though that men need women more than women need men. It explains why throughout history men have come up with artificial means of making themselves necessary in women's lives such as preventing women from higher education, preventing women from owning land, preventing women from having their own bank accounts, preventing women from voting etc, etc. All artificial ways of making women need men because naturally (unless a woman wants to get pregnant) they don't need men at all.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
Wait, do I pass because I took my two daughters to the Barbie movie? And I cried? S**t, now I'm virtue signaling. I promise I'm a nice guy. Dammit, I can't say that either. Let's just all agree a lot of men suck, and I'm trying my best not to be one of them, lol.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Honestly, the bar for being a decent man is so low. And yet, countless men still can't (or rather, won't) clear it. As long as you treat women like people, you're doing just fine.
Load More Replies... VioletHunter 2 years ago
I've seen this movie and it was just a funny and amusing parody/comedy. I don't see what on earth could have triggered men during that movie.
Angelic Perlaki 1 year ago
I agree with this. I've met a lot of guys on line who seemed nice but thru conversation turned out to be wild racists and neo Nazis. Just keep feeding them rope ladies. They WILL hang themselves if they're up to no good
Craig Reynolds 1 year ago
Real. decent men with self-control and self-respect don't "need" a woman. Men who can't cook, clean, do laundry, and grocery shop "need" a mommy maid they can sleep with.
#12
Absolutely. If a man uses any of that language/incel speak I immediately leave. I won’t entertain that. It can spiral quickly as well and I’m not interested in jeopardizing my safety in any way.
I take care to not swipe on people who use incel dogwhistles in their profiles or who claim to be politically conservative or even moderate because men who are “moderate” have learned that if they outright say they’re conservative, they won’t get laid.
Men get worse and worse each year. All men, I don’t even care anymore. Until a man proves to me otherwise with his actions and behavior, it’s easier to assume he’s dangerous and hates women. Men constantly say that women are emotional but I haven’t heard of a woman beating their spouse senseless because their precious football team lost. Even some men that I thought were “normal” got so huffy about the Barbie movie and instantly I understood that they simply hid their depravity behind their “normal” facade.
Edit: ALL men. Die mad about it. I don’t care if that makes me sexist or a misandrist lmao.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
I don't like the all men thing, of course, because that'd include me, but also I'm not up my own a*s enough to think that I don't have any room to grow or perspectives to understand. If someone has only ever experienced men as toxic, I know that me saying "yeah well this random person on the internet isn't like the men you've personally experienced, therefore you should trust men again" is stupid and not how any of this works. All I know is that I've earned the trust of my wife, and as a married man I continue earning the trust of both her and other women I have the privilege of interacting with. I don't know a good way to say any of this so I'm trying my best, and am willing to learn how if anyone has an answer.
Irene VU 1 year ago
The issue is there are too many men who are absolute POS. We cannot sort them out by sight because 99% of serial killers/rapists look like an average guy. There are no signs that make them stick out from the crowd. They are just part of the “all me “ fabric. And men who say, “Not all men” or “not me” are too often liars who are exactly like them and it IS them. Men make this BS hard all on their own.
Load More Replies... Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
As I man, I totally get where your frustration comes from. I think saying "all men" makes it worse, not better, but I cannot fault you for it. I'm sorry your experiences have made you feel this way.
Carl Oxley III 2 years ago
I know it may seem like all men, but it's not my experience. And, Being a man myself there are plenty of men I don't even want to be in the same room with, So it's not only women seeing the problem. Unfortunately even men who want to help can't get through to these redpill types.
FeelingFrisky 2 years ago
Thank you for being a good man, Carl, who understands.
Load More Replies... Tobias Reaper 2 years ago
i guess i understand this if you have had nothing but negative experiences then it will make you think this i think we as men need to do better to prove people who feel this way wrong that we aren't all bad and not let some asshats make us decent dudes look bad
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
If you have had ALL negative experiences, what is the common denominator of all these experiences? Could it be . . . you?
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Michael Collins 1 year ago
Disclaimer: as a man - to me the "all men" thing comes down to a simple analogy about false positives. Imagine an early ancestor in prehistoric times. If this ancestor hears the rustle of the wind in the grass, and runs away, thinking it's a predator, nothing happens. If they hear the rustle of a predator, and think it's the wind, they're lunch. We are descended from people who thought the wind was a predator, because they weren't lunch. Similarly, in order for women to keep themselves safe, they have to assume that all men are dangerous. A false positive, i.e. assuming a good man is a bad one, has little consequence. Whereas assuming a bad man is a good one can be fatal, in a scary amount of cases.
Tara L. 2 years ago
Most of it is about their ego, I'm so glad my husband does not have an ego like that. He doesn't have a lot of friends because other men (usually husbands of my women friends) will laugh at him & call him "p*ssywhipped" just because he helps me around the house & never yells or gets an attitude with me. He usually just shrugs & says "at least I'm not a walking a**hold" LOL. We don't go out much with other couples anymore, so many guys get offended by my husband not agreeing with them!
Ambitious Potato (she/they) 2 years ago
I read an article the other day questioning if anyone can truly be misandrist when they live in a society that oppresses those not male. Misogyny is different, because men don't live in a society ruled by women, they hate because they can, whereas women hating the system created by men is a full other category. It was fascinating to think about. (Obviously generalizations, and I don't mean to exclude non-binary or other folks who don't fit/belong in the categories of men or women. All the love to the LGBTQIA+ community :) )
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
This is a Marxist argument. Same as blacks can't be racist because they are not in a position to economically oppress anyone.
Load More Replies... brittany 2 years ago
idk, i think gay men and trans men are okay. never had an issue with them ever . only men ive ever had an issues with have been cis, conservative and vanilla colored. lol
FeelingFrisky 2 years ago
I would like to have a nice gay man in my life. My long-ago best friend was a gay man. Died in 2017. Miss him madly.
Load More Replies...Hannah begins talking about her own life and being privy to guys’ “locker room talk”: “Because of the dual life/lives that I live, I feel I get a little glimpse into the different perspectives people have about gender and gender roles. When I present as male, men talk to me like I am 'one of the guys'. These conversations can range from sports to social topics to inappropriate comments. I suppose some people would call this 'locker room talk' but I think that's in an effort to excuse certain behavior.”
“I am not out to the majority of the people in my (male) life. Almost everyone I know thinks of me as the guy they work with or their buddy from high school. My gender identity isn't on their radar. Because of this, some people in my life have no hesitation sharing their perspective on women... whether they are cisgender or transgender. Sometimes they will complain about how long it takes for women to get ready or ridicule their teenage daughters for being dramatic about a silly boy. These opinions are rather telling when it comes to their perspective on women. Perhaps they feel women are too shallow or emotional. Perhaps they feel women are weaker for having emotions."
#13
I used to be Christian Conservative and my ex bf at the time was very much so into 4chan while getting more and more extreme right wing as the years went on. We were together for 8 years. A lot of bull s**t happened in that amount of time, but I stayed because he had me so convinced that a civil war was going to break out, that the right was going to have to fight for their own land and new country, that eventually we would have to *literally* fight for our rights, and that he was going to protect me during this eventual war. I thought, well if it's going to happen, at least I'll be with someone that knows how to protect me. Saying this all now makes me cringe inside. Anyway, my current partner is liberal, a feminist, and a Marine. He helped me de-brainwash myself and has really helped me see the light. He is also accepting of the fact that I am attracted to women. If there were ever an actual war and all hell broke loose, I know for a fact I would be in much better hands now than I would have ever been if I stayed with my ex. All of this to say, redpillers are scary. I would date exclusively women if something were to ever happen to my current partner because I could never risk even dating another redpiller. Conservative men are terrifying and are getting more and more extreme as time goes on.
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
I sincerely hope there is never another civil war in the US, but I'm 100% convinced the first shots would come from the right.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
They already are. It's not liberals shooting up schools, trying to overthrow the last election or supporting the cops' murdering innocent people of color.
Load More Replies... Rostit . 2 years ago
Most if not all conservative men are scared little boys. they let their fear of the unknown be turned around into a movement to stifle change. They are all the same and all think the same stupid nonsense. I have yet to meet a conservative man that wasn't clearly some manbaby crying for momma.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
I, cishet 50m, absolutely LOVE the picture of LIBERAL FEMINIST MARINE <3 <3 <3 I want to know more folks like him <3
RabidChild 2 years ago
All people are terrifying and relying on someone else to protect you from anything is even more terrifying. Learn to fight for yourself and quit being a damsel in distress.Prince Charming is not always around.
Little Pig Sister 1 year ago
I don’t mind conservative guys but I draw the line at Redpillers. I knew a lot of conservative men. A lot of them have morals and are against treating women like animals, unlike the Redpillers
#14
Was with someone who got into the redpill movement during our relationship
**He told me that I had duties as a woman and I needed to fulfill his needs**
0/10 would recommend getting with anyone who is into these belief and highly recommend leaving the second they bring up how it makes so much sense
Tamra 2 years ago
It absolutely boggles my mind that there are people out there who think this way.
𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 2 years ago
And why wouldn't they think this way, if they are insecure, inept, and not willing to put work into relationships? The Red Pill BS tells them they don't need to work at it, or develop themselves, and that their insecurities are supposed to be ignored and reversed into virtues. It tells them that women actually exist for *their* happiness/pleasure, and that all women who reject this notion are just "wh*res". Why wouldn't they eat that up with a spoon? It allows them to be as lazy and useless as they want to be, and gives them convenient scapegoats to blame when things don't work out for them.
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 1 year ago
Whatevs... Then HE has duties as a man, and needs to fulfill YOUR needs.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I don't mind fulfilling someone's needs - as long as I get to decide what they are.
#15
Im in my sixties and I’ve been single for the last 20 years. I love being single
Jack and Coke 2 years ago
I hear you. My husband died 23 yrs ago and I never came across anyone who measured up. I don't think I could live with anyone now, too set in my ways. I really missed the sex though, but now I'm old and don't care anymore.
Aradia Sayner 2 years ago
54 here and I also have been single for the last 20 years. This is the happiest I've ever been.
ROSESARERED 2 years ago
Im in my 50s single for the last 20+ not ever dating aging. The last guy I was dating, and stupidity got engaged to, turned me off the dating bulletin ever again. Controlling, chauvinist
Lea S. 2 years ago
I have a lot I want to do in life and I never seem to be be able to get it done when I'm coupled up. I once told a friend in a bar, in a quiet tone, that I just feel held back when I'm in a relationship. I said nothing else about men. Two different men who overheard had something rude and disgusting to say to me about it.
Cat Houston 2 years ago
I've got a great partner now, but for 10+ years I couldn't be bothered with men. Too little reward vs. the risk.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
58 and single for a decade. I've decided to be in a committed relationship with myself for the first time in my life, having already been wife, mother, girlfriend, FWB, etc. At this point, I'm addicted to the calmness and freedom, and really enjoying self-improvement and self-care for the first time in my life. Fortunately, I was raised in such a way that I enjoy spending time with myself and my diverse interests...alone but not at all lonely.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
After my 20yr marriage and 2 yr relationship I have finally learned I'm ok by myself, and I will b single if I cant have exactly what I want in a relationship. Period. I will not b the maid, the mom, the "wh*re", the therapist and atm. I am a partner. 50/50 or nothing. Period.
According to her, society still misunderstands transgender people and she shares how that has affected her: “Over the last few years, transgender people have become a very charged discussion. We have been politicalized and demonized. We are discussed and scrutinized. We have become perverted villains in the eyes of many. It's strange to have this spotlight on people like myself, but it is quite an experience to hear my coworkers and family members discuss non-binary people. Sometimes someone voices their support or mentions that their friend is transgender.”
“Other times, well, it's less encouraging.”
#16
I refuse to f**k with any dude who has conservative, moderate, Christian or apolitical in a dating profile. I also will bail any time anyone says anything about alpha, beta, or sigma males. And any sort of negging will get them tossed. I mostly date queer people these days, if I do at all.
Raphapablap 2 years ago
Don't understand the animosity towards being apolitical but I understand the US is pretty divided at the moment. I (non-US) would consider myself apolitical - in my opinion, politicians are all wolves in sheep's clothing, lying through their teeth constantly to get sway. Doesn't matter what party gets elected, they will let the power get to their head at some point, so why show loyalty to any of them?
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
THISSSSSS. I swore off dating men years ago. But I'm still open to dating women. :)
Little Pig Sister 1 year ago
Yeah no, having a problem with apolitical/moderate is a bit of red flag IMO. I mean you do you but there’s a difference between not wanting someone who is a bigot and just not wanting anyone who doesn’t share your exact beliefs on everything. I don’t trust people who are super right wing or super left wing.
#17
I really can’t come up with any reason that I would date again. My single life is just so free and uncomplicated. All of the men I’ve ever been with have been more of a burden in my life.
The upside for me just wasn’t there compared to what I had to sacrifice.
Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
Better to be happy with a houseful of pets, friends and family than with the wrong guy.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
"The wrong guy" is, in far too many women's stories, how we end up beaten, raped or murdered.
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Bluonthefront 1 year ago (edited)
This. I hear this from friends all the time and I believe it too. Men come with too much. Baggage. Inability to care for themselves. Need for control. Mansplaining. Ugh. Not even a good enough ROI.
Jaybird3939 2 years ago
The only time I've really questioned myself about staying single are when I have problems that I can't handle due to work or other commitments. I think it would be great to have a partner who could take that burden on for me. Otherwise, meh.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
Sometimes it's nice to have human contact. Someone to cuddle on the couch. I have a friend where we r like platonic "booty calls". We hold hands and cuddle on the couch watching and stuff
#18
Yes. It’s impacting how men of all ages treat women. When I was single it was the reason I got off the dating apps. It’s also why I go out of my way not to engage with men in public.
The entitlement and creepy, aggressive behavior is awful. I used to travel a lot for work so I spent a lot of time in places where you meet men. I remember when you’d be having dinner at a bar and have a nice conversation with a man, a bit of a laugh, a few drinks and then go your separate ways. There was a sort of camaraderie. Something happened and more and more men started treating women like they are prey they are entitled to. It’s scary out there. And they are so rude and mean. It’s totally crazy the stuff I’ve had total strangers say to me.
And let me tell you, married men are the absolute worse. They are so gross and pushy. It used to be you’d be able to have a chat with a married man and know he likely wouldn’t hit on you. I will not engage with married men anymore. If women had any idea what their husbands are getting up to out in the world. I will never date a man who travels for work. Ever. If you’re married to a business traveler, especially a middle age one, you should regularly get STD tested.
BravePanda 2 years ago
Yes. I used to work as a bartender in a hotel bar, a hotel that catered to wealthy business travelers. I've seen men tell bedtime stories over the phone, hang up, and go upstairs with someone they met three bourbons ago. Nightly.
DJR 2 years ago
I joined the navy and got married in 2004. I was told by an instructor in my first year that I would definitely cheat on my wife because we all do. I decided at that moment that I would let my wife know "we're done" before cheating, since it was such a foregone conclusion. I still haven't needed to make that call 🤷♂️.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
It's almost like they feel they r "losing control" with the freedoms and strength that most women have now and want it all back
Zull&Panda 1 year ago
This this this. I brefly dated a guy who travelled for work. The things he told me. I'm perplexed everytime I see a pic of my friends who are married to one of these guys (in my hometown there are a lot of people who travel for work because of a very specific industry we have). And yes, test for STD. Even my mother friends got stuff from their "travelling" husbands, now I'm pretty sure it's even worse.
#19
It wasn't the redpill that erased any interest or trust in men, it was men. They've always been like this, redpill just lets them be honest.
Lord love him, my dad did not (does not) know what to do with a daughter, so he always treated me like a slightly weaker son. I grew up with the knowledge that it might take me longer to do strength related tasks, but I would get that couch moved, that tire changed, that box up the stairs, etc. I was expected to be just as independent and dependable as my brothers. And the few times my brothers tried to treat me less than because I was a girl, I proved them wrong. (Ah, brothers, bless their hearts. They are stronger, I'm sneakier.)
Then I encountered men and boys who genuinely did see me as "less". Men and boys, coworkers and teachers and casual acquaintances who blink and look shocked when I talk back, when I hold the door for them, when I give them advice or joke around when them.... Yknow, when I dare to be a person treating them like a person.
It took years to figure out it was a "them, not me" problem, and took a page out of their book and "went my own way". I prefer women, socially and romantically.
In short, by the time redpill came around, I had already lost any interest in men as friends or acquaintances.
Black Cat 2 years ago
You're lucky you're interested inwomen romantically. Men are too dangerous to give them the benefit of the doubt. I feel far more safe being single than in a relationship with a man. The older I get the more I'm sickened by men. It's hard to like or be attracted to a group of people you can't trust or respect.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
While I agree it's "not all men", I'm sorry to have to say that, from a woman's perspective, it is most men. The ones who have treated me like a fellow human being have been rare, and I'm 58.
Tara L. 2 years ago
Lol my dad was the same way, he only had daughters & knew how most men are so he raised us to be independent, to speak our minds, to take care of ourselves. I was taught how to fix everything that he could, from the car to household fixes. He always encouraged us to be bold & speak our minds & to never allow ourselves to be treated as "less". He always told us "never let anyone walk over you, they'll never stop treating you like their personal doormat afterwards."
Lena Flising 1 year ago
I've had colleagues DEMANDING that they get to open the door for me. Even when I'm walking ahead of them, coming the door first, even when we meet at the door (coming from either ends of a corridor) and the door open my way. They more or less force me to just stand there, while they move around and labor until THEY can open and hold the door for ME, and it has taken THREE times the amount of time, than if I just had held the door for them, and then walked through it after they passed through it. I'm not against holding the door for each other, but it ought to be natural; the one coming to the door first, who's already grabbing the door. Not a certain gender being mandatory for holding the door.
#20
Im queer/bisexual and havent been attracted to a man in years. They ruined any attraction i had with how they are. Only non binary and women for me thanks
Our interviewee points out the inherent perspective of some men that women are weaker or inferior: “I've heard men discuss people like me and how they don't understand us. And that's fine... I guess. Like I said earlier, I am not trying to be understood. I just want to be treated kindly. Sometimes these conversations have led to men wondering why anyone would want to be a woman. ‘Why would anyone want to be inferior?’ they ask. ‘Why go from being a man to a girl?’ I've heard some men say that they kind of understand why a woman would want to transition to male, as if it's somewhat of a ‘promotion’, if you will.”
“This is, of course, not a reason people transition,” Hannah goes to finish, “But it is a reflection of how some men blatantly see their gender as superior. They may not understand transgender people, but they certainly understand why someone would want to be male.”
#21
Yes. I used to think a lot of misogyny and sexism was a generational thing. Something that would die out as understanding and empathy progressed.
Now I understand that men don't really see women as human beings and only as things to benefit them. They don't want women to be happy because they genuinely don't give 2 shits.
I won't date anymore.
Tara L. 2 years ago
Ya it definitely is NOT a generational thing, men of all ages act like this though I've seen it more often in younger men than older.
AsylumWalker 1 year ago
The older generations are almost worse, because they're covert abiut it, harder to detect. The only benefit of how the youbger men use their misogyny is rhat theyre so loud its an immediate warning sign ti stay away
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Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
We have progressed. 100 years ago you couldn't vote. It's just going way slower than it should.
Tree P 2 years ago
If the conservatives have their way, they'll put a stop to all progress. I'm begining to think that whole party hates women.
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 1 year ago
I know men of all ages who are NOT misogynistic a******s. And I've met men of all ages who ARE misogynistic a******s. The pure seething hatred of women seems to be more prevalent in younger men, though, under 40.
#22
Oh 100% yes. I used to not care much about politics, basically: "don't encroach on the rights of others" was my only rule, but now I won't date anyone who isn't a liberal who supports feminism. It makes me scared, honestly. I want kids tremendously, but I don't know if I'll be able to find a male partner who I feel I can trust enough to do that with.
Tamra 2 years ago
I've seen men comment right here on BP that feminism is a "problem". Now, that's either ignorance of what feminism is (which can be solved with education), or straight up misogyny. And what cures that, I don't know, but it's pretty damned disappointing.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
safe liberal guys exist, we're apparently really rare though? makes me sad.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
It's become too risky to hang around long enough to find out which of you are safe, and which of you are willing to turn us into the 1 in 6 (or whatever the prevalence of sexual assault for women is in your country of choice).
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 1 year ago
"Feminism is the radical idea that women are people too." Those who say it has "gone too far", clearly think women are objects, property, slaves. Thereby proving that we DESPERATELY need feminism, that it has most definitely NOT gone too far.
#23
Yes, I hate to say it but I just started assuming that most men are raging mysogynistic.
bElLa sTairZz 2 years ago
as a man, hate to say it, but i feel like this is the safer way to do it
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
You're correct. When a man says "not all men", I like to ask them to point out the ones that are "safe" and the ones that are not "safe". Some of them begin to have a horrified understanding of the problem at this point. Ted Bundy was handsome and personable by all accounts...except to the 30+ women he raped, tortured, and murdered. I'll bet he even bought them a drink first.
Load More Replies... Cat Houston 2 years ago
They all know they are too. It's a big laughable secret amongst them. [Except the few who aren't.]
#24
I honestly don't even want to talk to men outside of the ones I know and trust anymore.
Mr Sardonicus 2 years ago
Hah, thats the funny part - the ones you "know and trust" are just more patient. They are still waiting to sleep with you, and you just havent made it clear yet that it will NEVER happen no matter what. Make that clear, and watch how fast your "friend" vanishes, ladies.
Black Cat 2 years ago
I don't know why you're being downvoted for this. You're right. Many men will pretend to be half decent humans to get what they want from a woman but it's all an act and pure manipulation. It's not PC to see all men as violent creepy scum, but it's the safe thing to do.
Load More Replies... #25
Not my overall attraction, but it’s changed my “acceptable risk” profile when it comes to casual sexism. I used to laugh a bit more if it off, especially the “benevolent” bits.
Now, I don’t feel confident I can tell the difference between someone who is very confused about wolves, and someone who intends to go on a shooting spree, so if you sincerely talk about alphas and betas, ya out. Forever. No conversation or attempt to educate. Just out. There are lots of red-pill phrases that hit my ears these days and I just Nope right out. You’re dead to me. We’re not dating, we’re not friends, I won’t work with you a moment longer than absolutely necessary.
Lena Flising 1 year ago
The scientist who coined the terms "alpha" and "beta" has been constantly trying to remove those ideas since then. That only concerns wolves in captivity. Free wolves are small family groups, usually controlled by mom and dad. So, if someone calls themselves "alpha", they must be in jail.
Laura Bradshaw 1 year ago
Love the wolves reference haha but yes as soon as I see one of those guys online it like ah you want a bang maid got it... arguing and educating you is futile as you likely think the handmaid's tale is something to aspire to
#26
My generation is a bit old for the redpill movement which seems (to me) to be more for the younger crowd. HOWEVER, I’ve had enough experience with men of my own generation to be put off by the garden variety misogyny that seems to lurk just below the surface for so many of them. I am still attracted to men but I am not interested in being in a relationship with one.
I'mtiredboss. 2 years ago
I am 70. My soon to be ex-husband has decided he no longer wants to put in any effort to share his life with me. He thinks he will be better "on his own". Hasta la bye-bye.
Black Cat 2 years ago
You'll be better off. Amazes me how often when couples split the men can't cope and the women thrive.
Load More Replies... Laura Bradshaw 1 year ago
There are men of all age following this some men in their 40s-60s have always thought like this but there wasn't a lable for it
#27
Like seven months ago, I would have said that I don’t know where all these disgusting dudes hide when I’m around, and that I probably just surround myself with quality people. Then I heard my best friend say some out of pocket s**t about his girlfriend and he has not spoken to me since I called him out on it.
Now I’ll just say that y’all need to do whatever keeps you in the safest and happiest state at all times, even if it means not f*****g with men. I still have other great friends who I perceive as being decent humans, but that experience rattled me. Couldn’t imagine hearing some of the s**t he said after becoming intimidate with someone.
Lena Flising 1 year ago
I used to work in an environment with many men. When they talked with other men, they called their wives derogatory terms, like the crone, the old ball-and-chain, etc. But when they talked to me, they'd say "my girlfriend" or "my wife", even when they had called her a "crone" two minutes ago, in the same room, as if I'm deaf when they're not talking directly to me.
Laura Bradshaw 1 year ago
That's the thing men who say not all men base it on the men they surround themselves with who may be putting up a performance around them they certainly do around female friends. Some men are unreserved around other men and shown their true colours other men play a role so the other men say x would never do what that lying b**** said.... sigh... but men and women who say their male friends would never just have no idea a % of the time that's true they wouldn't but how can us women every tell before it's too late....
#28
Yes. Being on the internet has opened my eyes to how little men think of us. I honestly have lost interest in even dating men after this s**t I’ve read.
Cat Houston 2 years ago
I know a LOT of really great, decent, compassionate, progressive men but as they stand as a gender group, I have very little trust or admiration for them.
Black Cat 2 years ago
I like a few individual men but as a group I don't like them at all. They've done nothing to earn women's trust or respect.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
Black Cat, you can really just put people. I like a few individual people, but as a group?.......hard pass.
Load More Replies... #29
Yes
After dealing with a redpiller in the wild I am now way more hesitant to get involved with a man
Tamra 2 years ago
Red pillers are men who believe that feminism is a problem, that women are naturally manipulative and should "learn their place". The red pill movement attracts incels, male supremacists, men who call themselves "alphas", and generally misogynistic douchebags.
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#30
Absolutely. It even made me wonder if I ever want myself in a relationship with a man in the future. Like, why would I even give anything to someone who does not even consider me a human being? In the end it increased my trust issues with men even more, and made me waay pickier about who I want in my social circle.
#31
It affected how I saw men. I used to think men were just like people like we are and just made mistakes. It turns out that’s not true. They have whole ideologies to use and abuse us. I no longer cut them the same kind hearted slack I used to.
#32
It definitely has changed my comfort level with men and has made me more hesitant to date. I’m so happy with my single life that even though I’d love to share it with with the right person, it doesn’t feel worth the risk. I live in an area where I’m politically the minority and the men here really scare me to the point where I do my best to not interact or make eye contact.
#33
Yes, I am downright terrified of men and barely date at all anymore as a result.
#34
I had issues with them long before the redpill movement had a name. I was socialized as one of them growing up so it was always easy for me to figure out what game they were playing and use it against them. Cishet men are the worst.
#35
Back in quarantine was when I first started to see it (probably like everyone else). Me and my dad used to make fun of it together. And I thought it was exclusively internet junk, no rational in real life person thinks this way. It wasn’t until I started matching with guys who would say something redpill adjacent and I thought “they really are out here.” So I just stopped putting myself out there entirely. My dad would even get one or two points in every now and again. So between running into it a couple times on dating apps and just seeing it more on the internet in general, I think at this point men period just make me tired. If they aren’t already friends of mine, I’m almost completely disinterested in dating and men entirely
#36
Yes If me and my current bf don’t work out I’m not dating men anymore. But hopefully that doesn’t happen, he’s great.
#37
When I was "on the market" (I've been with my husband since 2018) I always considered the Red Pill to be an internet-brained thing that I didn't have to deal with IRL as much (I mean aside from just general misogyny in our culture). I've been on reddit since 2010/2011 and back then the red pill sub was just starting, and I used to go to r/thebluepill to make fun of those nerds. My closest male friends would take part, we'd send each other ridiculous posts and laugh. I didn't think men I respected and considered friends would get sucked in.
Now... a few of my single guy friends who, back then would have laughed at these guys, have started saying some red flag s**t (like weirdo pro life-lite sentiments, weirdo "women are x" statements) but maybe I'm just hyper vigilant of the "signals." Like, I thought they knew better? Creepy stuff
eta: I will say, being on reddit in general has made me dislike men as a class a lot more than ever before. This site used to 10x worse in regards to general misogyny and it made me look at men I didn't know with suspicion, which was not the case before.
Jude Corrigan 2 years ago
Unfortunately, Reddit does seem to have a highconcentration of red pillers. It is very hard to determine if there is the same percentage in the real world.
Ridiant 2 years ago (edited)
Reddit is very much a place where everyone mixes together, just due to the way the subreddit system works. Which, combined with its anonymity, makes it both a great place to find people spouting takes they'd never be able to say aloud IRL, and an excellent recruitment ground for a******s. I wouldn't be surprised if the percentages were a little higher, but I also wouldn't be surprised if nuking Reddit collapsed a not-insignificant portion of the recruitment front (along with, of course, 90% of the useful information readily found on the Internet for anything...)
Load More Replies... #38
I'm generally terrified of being disappointed to find men I previously respected are redpilled. One of my oldest childhood friends turned out to be doing this s**t in Facebook groups. It tainted some wonderful memories. I'm not often attracted to men and when I am it gives me the same fear.
#39
Absolutely, I even recently decided that the man I’m currently dating will be the last cis man I will date. I know they aren’t all bad (in fact the man I’m dating now is wonderful!) but recently I’ve realized I don’t have to date cis men, as that is not the only type of person I’m attracted to. If things don’t work out between my current sweetheart and I, I’m done. After the experiences I’ve had in the last five years I’m tired of finding even the “good ones” are likely to treat their partners at best like surrogate mommies. I’m just, tired of partners not acting like partners. *I feel like I should clarify* I absolutely consider trans men to be men, but at least in my experience they are MUCH MORE understanding and resistant to dysfunctional gender roles than people who have never had a question about the gender they were assigned at birth, so they get a pass.
cartoon ghosts 2 years ago
As a trans man, that definitely tracks. As a kid when I thought I was a girl I was very upset by the concept of misogyny and generally just got that whole thing out of the way in a way most cis guys wouldn't experience, and transitioning actually made it way more clear to me how f****d up things are. I'm treated much better as a guy than I was as a girl, in ways I really didn't expect at all before transitioning. It's really f****d up
#40
As someone who has been studying incel behavior ( browsed 4chan for awhile was curious about the way they think ) it’s actually disgusting how these men think sure it could be s**t posting but still these men are the lowest in the barrel and no woman should ever feel sorry for them because they deserve to be lonely they blame others for their shortcomings not just women but also poc/ gays etc they hate society because they don’t fit in and want anyone that’s considered what I listed above to be lower than them because they think that men like them should be owed privileges for simply being born a man. Regardless not all men think this I have a boyfriend who is very supportive of women’s rights and my brothers are the same way. If you are going to jump into the dating field again I highly suggest listening to how men talk about women and how they treat them in their lives.
Khall Khall 2 years ago
I don't think ignoring this fixes it. We have to find a way that, at least in the future, not as many of these types of people are out there. Empathy training in grade school? A popular sitcom that models healthy behavior? Idk. But gross things grow in the dark.
#41
I'm terrified. I dated a redpill type of dude who is now a MGTOWer, and he was so emotionally abusive during our relationship. Men nowadays are f*****g terrible and I'm already 37.
Biggest issue is my best friend, who I trust wholeheartedly and who I know would never pull that s**t with me, doesn't feel the same way romantically so I'm basically doomed to either never have a family, or roll the dice with some dude who will probably treat me like all the horror stories I read on here.
What do you think ?
JMil 2 years ago (edited)
This thread inspired me to check out reddits thebluepill and justneckbeardthings and omg it is so much worse than I thought. I completely understand these posters being done with men. I renounce my gender and surrender my man card. Love and support to all m'ladies *tips fedora* 😂
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
The things straight men say about and do to women, while simultaneously complaining about the things toxic masculinity does to hurt themselves, has all but eliminated my empathy for them as a group. I can't do it anymore. Women have borne the brunt of men's hatred for millennia into the present day; it's on men to change how they view and treat us, since it's abundantly clear that a huge many of them don't care about our wants, needs or rights.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Yes, but who created the idea of toxic masculinity as a standard men were supposed to live up to? It wasn't women. Men have been in charge of the world since human beings lived in caves. And they've been trying to blame women for literally everything since Mother Eve, even though even a casual reading of Genesis will tell you that she was set up to fail by a patriarchal god. Think about it. If you don't know right from wrong (because you haven't eaten from the Tree), then how can you be held accountable for your actions, which you couldn't possibly have known were wrong? Even human laws account for this.
Load More Replies... LooseSeal's $10 Banana 2 years ago
As a man this made me feel two things. First, I am now even more worried about the world my daughter will grow up in. Second, it makes me feel like a saint since I'm apparently better than 90% of the other men on the planet.
Rostit . 2 years ago
I feel like the redpill boys and the "hE mUsT bE 6 fT" girls should get together and be awful away from the rest of us.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I agree with you. Those young women are setting back equality decades with their silly nonsense, because they behave as if they themselves are a commodity to be earned instead of a human being. The two groups you mentioned deserve each other, since they don't view each other as human. More like a fashion accessory.
Load More Replies... RabidChild 2 years ago
For me, it's not just the red-pills I want yo avoid but also the women who agree with them. There are so many women ready to shove a knife in your back as soon as its turned. Women I've thought were friends and allies have turned out to be so twofaced I'm afraid to trust anyone at this point.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
I really hope that 1) my daughter, who is 16 and hasn't faced too much drama yet relationships-wise, is able to somehow traverse this insane world we live in without getting absolutely traumatized. I'm terrified for her, but I'm doing my very best to prepare her. and 2) I hope I can teach my son well enough to not be like this. One of the most important moments in my life was a commitment I made when I was beginning my recovery. In group recovery, we had a father and a son who were both talking about their experiences with addiction, and the father broke down apologizing. The son said that he could not be saved from his past, but moving forward, his son would not have a father unwilling to work on his s**t. We all went around vowing that our son's would know our stories. My son is 12 and knows my recovery already. It's a privilege to teach him to be a man worthy of respect and trust.
Penny Fan 2 years ago
My daughter is 22 and bisexual. I honestly would prefer her to be fully lesbian and never bring me a son-in-law. I was (am) a daddy's little princess, but even dear old papa has his dubious moments. But he's 83 so I'll give him a pass, not worth falling out about things now.
Load More Replies...
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
I remember a line from a nineties TV show, Living Single. Queen Latifah’s character said it. I think another character has asked something like “What would the world be like if there were no men in it?” Queen Latifah’s character shot right back with “It would be full of fat happy women and no crime.” I have thought bout that line a lot in the last thirty years. I have been thinking about it a lot more these days. I’m married, but my husband and I are in our sixties. We could have decades ahead of us, or not. If he goes first, and I have a lot of years to live without him, I will do like the one poster said, live the rest of my life in celibacy. I mean, women live longer than men, so what are the chances of my finding another good man like my husband, especially as a senior citizen? I’ll just have a bunch of good friends to hang out with, then go home—-my home, where I have 100% autonomy—-to my pets and my precious solitude.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
This Article and other things I have seen recently have made me so anti red pill it's not even funny. I had no clue that THE MAJORITY OF MEN actually still think "shut up b***h, get in the kitchen" isn't only acceptable but it's the only way of life. I did not realize that men actually want women enslaved, and to not be treated as equal people, and there are women that have been brainwashed into agreeing. Ladies I am terrified for you I never ever realized these things. There are good men out there but don't trust any of them.
Black Cat 2 years ago
I've always thought that even as a kid. If it's not the majority of men who are subanimal scum, it's the substantial minority and for that reason alone, you can't trust any of them.
Load More Replies...
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
It's hard not to feel discouraged as a woman if you spend a lot of time reading men's responses on the internet (not here but on reddit etc). That said, we're in a time period where everything is about heightening conflict, highlighting differences, and encouraging an us vs them mentality. A lot of red pill types were complaining about Barbie but both men and women on reddit seemed to love that movie regardless of politics because it made them feel seen and validated because we all struggle with expectations of gender in our society. I'm not saying we need to tolerate random rapey guys but I do wish we'd spend less time getting into conflict online and more time remembering we're all humans with feelings. Well except me. I'm a goose.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
I will not acknowledge the humanity of a group of people that has a history of doing horrible things to women, solely because they're women. Innocent women have died at the hands of entitled incels with guns (e.g., Elliot Roger) and I will not extend my hand to them.
Load More Replies... YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
"Not all men..." Well, if y'all good men would just go ahead and mark the bad ones for us (forehead tattoo, perhaps?), then maybe we wouldn't have to be worried by the rest of you.
JMil 2 years ago (edited)
This thread inspired me to check out reddits thebluepill and justneckbeardthings and omg it is so much worse than I thought. I completely understand these posters being done with men. I renounce my gender and surrender my man card. Love and support to all m'ladies *tips fedora* 😂
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
The things straight men say about and do to women, while simultaneously complaining about the things toxic masculinity does to hurt themselves, has all but eliminated my empathy for them as a group. I can't do it anymore. Women have borne the brunt of men's hatred for millennia into the present day; it's on men to change how they view and treat us, since it's abundantly clear that a huge many of them don't care about our wants, needs or rights.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Yes, but who created the idea of toxic masculinity as a standard men were supposed to live up to? It wasn't women. Men have been in charge of the world since human beings lived in caves. And they've been trying to blame women for literally everything since Mother Eve, even though even a casual reading of Genesis will tell you that she was set up to fail by a patriarchal god. Think about it. If you don't know right from wrong (because you haven't eaten from the Tree), then how can you be held accountable for your actions, which you couldn't possibly have known were wrong? Even human laws account for this.
Load More Replies... LooseSeal's $10 Banana 2 years ago
As a man this made me feel two things. First, I am now even more worried about the world my daughter will grow up in. Second, it makes me feel like a saint since I'm apparently better than 90% of the other men on the planet.
Rostit . 2 years ago
I feel like the redpill boys and the "hE mUsT bE 6 fT" girls should get together and be awful away from the rest of us.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I agree with you. Those young women are setting back equality decades with their silly nonsense, because they behave as if they themselves are a commodity to be earned instead of a human being. The two groups you mentioned deserve each other, since they don't view each other as human. More like a fashion accessory.
Load More Replies... RabidChild 2 years ago
For me, it's not just the red-pills I want yo avoid but also the women who agree with them. There are so many women ready to shove a knife in your back as soon as its turned. Women I've thought were friends and allies have turned out to be so twofaced I'm afraid to trust anyone at this point.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
I really hope that 1) my daughter, who is 16 and hasn't faced too much drama yet relationships-wise, is able to somehow traverse this insane world we live in without getting absolutely traumatized. I'm terrified for her, but I'm doing my very best to prepare her. and 2) I hope I can teach my son well enough to not be like this. One of the most important moments in my life was a commitment I made when I was beginning my recovery. In group recovery, we had a father and a son who were both talking about their experiences with addiction, and the father broke down apologizing. The son said that he could not be saved from his past, but moving forward, his son would not have a father unwilling to work on his s**t. We all went around vowing that our son's would know our stories. My son is 12 and knows my recovery already. It's a privilege to teach him to be a man worthy of respect and trust.
Penny Fan 2 years ago
My daughter is 22 and bisexual. I honestly would prefer her to be fully lesbian and never bring me a son-in-law. I was (am) a daddy's little princess, but even dear old papa has his dubious moments. But he's 83 so I'll give him a pass, not worth falling out about things now.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
I remember a line from a nineties TV show, Living Single. Queen Latifah’s character said it. I think another character has asked something like “What would the world be like if there were no men in it?” Queen Latifah’s character shot right back with “It would be full of fat happy women and no crime.” I have thought bout that line a lot in the last thirty years. I have been thinking about it a lot more these days. I’m married, but my husband and I are in our sixties. We could have decades ahead of us, or not. If he goes first, and I have a lot of years to live without him, I will do like the one poster said, live the rest of my life in celibacy. I mean, women live longer than men, so what are the chances of my finding another good man like my husband, especially as a senior citizen? I’ll just have a bunch of good friends to hang out with, then go home—-my home, where I have 100% autonomy—-to my pets and my precious solitude.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
This Article and other things I have seen recently have made me so anti red pill it's not even funny. I had no clue that THE MAJORITY OF MEN actually still think "shut up b***h, get in the kitchen" isn't only acceptable but it's the only way of life. I did not realize that men actually want women enslaved, and to not be treated as equal people, and there are women that have been brainwashed into agreeing. Ladies I am terrified for you I never ever realized these things. There are good men out there but don't trust any of them.
Black Cat 2 years ago
I've always thought that even as a kid. If it's not the majority of men who are subanimal scum, it's the substantial minority and for that reason alone, you can't trust any of them.
Load More Replies... Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
It's hard not to feel discouraged as a woman if you spend a lot of time reading men's responses on the internet (not here but on reddit etc). That said, we're in a time period where everything is about heightening conflict, highlighting differences, and encouraging an us vs them mentality. A lot of red pill types were complaining about Barbie but both men and women on reddit seemed to love that movie regardless of politics because it made them feel seen and validated because we all struggle with expectations of gender in our society. I'm not saying we need to tolerate random rapey guys but I do wish we'd spend less time getting into conflict online and more time remembering we're all humans with feelings. Well except me. I'm a goose.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
I will not acknowledge the humanity of a group of people that has a history of doing horrible things to women, solely because they're women. Innocent women have died at the hands of entitled incels with guns (e.g., Elliot Roger) and I will not extend my hand to them.
Load More Replies... YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
"Not all men..." Well, if y'all good men would just go ahead and mark the bad ones for us (forehead tattoo, perhaps?), then maybe we wouldn't have to be worried by the rest of you.
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