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25 Hilarious Times Patients Woke Up From Anesthesia With Zero Filter
Article created by: Monika Pašukonytė
Waking up from anesthesia often feels like a spell is slowly being lifted so that you have time to accustom yourself to the world. In this hazy process, people often tend to say or do things that they wouldn’t otherwise, which can lead to some pretty interesting stories.
The doctors, nurses, and patients in this list are sharing all those weird and funny post-anesthesia experiences that most of us don’t know about. It goes to show how powerful its effect can be and what tricks it can play on the mind; you might be surprised.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Told to me by my wife confirmed by the nurse - I was in bed hospital room, waiting for surgery, they already gave me meds to calm me BUT they knocked me out
2 nurses come in to move me to a gurney' but they were small and I'm big they can't move me over, my wife came over and poked me in the ribs saying your snoring rollover, and I rolled right onto the gurney.
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#2
Not a doctor or nurse. When my sister was 16, she had back surgery to repair a ruptured disc in her lower back. Apparently, the meds that they gave her before she was put under gave her low enough inhibitions that instead of counting backward from 10, she started belting out the lyrics to Roxanne. The OR staff later told my mom that not only were they amazed that someone that young knew the lyrics, that the way that she started singing was one of the funniest things they had seen in an OR.
#3
(NOT A Doc or Nurse) When I got my wisdom teeth out, they strapped my arm down for the IV anesthetic.
Apparently, before passing out, I looked up at the white haired German Dentist and said in my best Connery, "Goldfinger, do you expect me to talk?".
The dentist didn't reply, but he did tell me after surgery that it was one of the funniest things anyone asked him in a "haze".
#4
Went straight from the ER to surgery to put a plate in my badly broken arm, so I hadn't been on a ward etc prior to the operation. Came out of surgery and recovery and was being pushed in a hospital bed to a ward. We turned in to a ward and it was full of elderly people, I was in my early twenties, I turned to the hospital porter pushing me and shouted "Sorry we seem to have taken a wrong turn, we're in the morgue".
#5
I was the patient, but I had to get 5 teeth pulled.
The nurse was helping my mom shuffle me to the car. I turned to thank her, but couldn't get my mouth to work, so I bowed and doffed an imaginary cap.
*M'anesthesia*.
#6
When my husband woke up from having his wisdom teeth surgically removed his nurse was a rather large lady. (like 350+) He looked her dead in the eyes and said "You're too beautiful to be a nurse, you should have been a model. Why don't you just come home with me and my wife?" (yes he was propositioning a 3 way with a 50 year old 350 pound nurse) Most awkward moment of my life.
#7
My first memory when waking up from shoulder surgery was a somewhat-panicked nurse rummaging through the blankets at the bottom of my bed repeatedly muttering "where are his legs, where are his legs." I always cross my legs when I sit/lay down and apparently I must have done this as I was initially coming off the anesthesia. It freaked me out for a second, but then I processed what was going on. The nurse seemed relieved when I mumbled "they're right here" and nearly kicked her in the face when I extended my legs.
#8
I was the patient but I think this qualifies. Colonoscopy. In this big lounge chair still half asleep in recovery, I half rollover and let rip the biggest fart in history. The devil himself created this one. I open half an eye at the nurse, ask "was that me?", jaw on the ground she nods and I go back to sleep!
#9
I once had a patient start totally trashing her sister, telling me how she has always been the black sheep of the family, is a s*****g and wants to bang her husband. She's just going off, and sitting in the doorway was the sister, the only one there to support her after surgery. You could tell it was crushing for her. This was probably an hour after the patient left PACU, conscious but still pretty whacked out.
#10
I had to get hardware installed in my leg for a nasty bone break at an overseas base. A few days later, my buddy and I were having lunch on base. A group of women came in and sat down at the table next to us and we struck up a conversation.
One of them asked what I had gotten done. (I was in a huge cast and on crutches.)
I tell her the procedure. She gets a funny look on her face and asked when it was done.
I tell her the date.
She immediately starts laughing and tells her friends, "This is the guy!"
Now they're all howling with laughter.
It took a while to tell the story because they're in tears from laughing.
Apparently, when I was coming out of sedation, I grabbed a Corpsman's a*s and hung on for dear life. (The woman I was I was currently talking to at the restaurant.)
I just wanted to crawl into a hole when I heard the story.
TL;DR- Grabbed a girl's a*s in the OR, got named 'a**man' by the staff, and became the talk of the hospital for a while.
Edit- My top comment is how I perved on some poor woman when I was out of my gourd on d***s.
Wonderful.
#11
My bff had a vasectomy and when he was first given the d***s three nurses walked in that were rather attractive. He looks up with his wife in the room and says " If I would of know there was going to be hot women in here, I would of worn my big d**k.".
#12
I was the patient. I'd had all four wisdom teeth out at once, and I woke up earlier than expected in recovery - early enough that they hadn't taken out the wadding at the back of my mouth meant to absorb the blood. So I woke up, immediately felt like I was choking, and panicked. I leapt off the bed, and a bunch of nurses came to restrain me. Still out of it, I fought them and definitely gave one of them a good punch before they got me back on the bed. I passed out again straight away.
Still feel bad about it. Poor nurse.
#13
Came out of anesthetic and the lead nurse decides it's time to tell me all about post op care. She says, "Now this is going to be a pain in the a*s..." and I said, "If that's the case, then you guys performed the wrong procedure!" It was a nose operation.
The assistant nurse started laughing. Lead nurse not so amused.
#14
Wish I was earlier to this one. My fiancee recently had her tonsils removed. Her mother and I were there when she woke up. After a few minutes she told her mother "Now that I've got my tonsils out, I can fit more of his d**k in my mouth!"
It was awkward.
#15
A patient woke up from his wisdom tooth removal *begging* the doctor to let him be David Bowie. The doctor actually asked how that was supposed to happen, and the answer was that "it would be fantastic.".
#16
When I was 14 I had eye surgery, coming out of anesthesia the nurses asked me if I could remember my name. I slurred
" my name.... is Worcestershire sauce. No..wait, that's not a cool name. My name... is Shark!".
#17
I had surgery on my wrist and came out of anesthesia screaming "my b***s hurt". The doctor came in and asked what was wrong. I said "my b***s hurt". He replied "dude you had wrist surgery. No one touched your b***s.".
#18
Nurse here. This really big, hairy turkish guy, whom I've never met before, told me how much he loved me and that he wanted to kiss me. I'm male btw.
#19
Not the doctor or the nurse
I had a lot of ear infections when I was younger, and my final time (I was about 7) I woke up to the Rugrats on a tv in the room (I hated the Rugrats at the time). Cue the following conversation:
Me: "Why are the Rugrats on?"
Doctor: "You woke up earlier and said you wanted us to put on the Rugrats. We asked why, and you said that you hated the Rugrats and wanted to watch it so you could be angry."
Me: "Why did I want to be angry?"
Doctor: "You said you wanted to be angry because you don't like being so happy all the time."
Edit: Obligatory "Wow, one of my most upvoted comments is about my early-life angst, only behind my five-word comment that referenced a trebuchet. Reddit works in mysterious ways." Ty.
#20
I shadowed a surgery once with this guy who woke up saying, "give it to me straight doc, will I ever play the piano again?" All of us were cracking up and he then goes, "oh, wait.. I don't know how to play the piano.".
#21
I'm not a doctor nurse, but I heard about this after my wisdom teeth surgery. I apparently was still on anesthesia, and when they wheeled me out I had both arms stuck out and was making plane noises. They asked me what I was doing and I told them I was becoming my final form of a plane. Still do not know why I was doing it.
#22
I had a patient pet an invisible kitty that was named after me. The next day, was completely with it and was wondering what happened to that kitty.
#23
After waking up from my wisdom tooth surgery, I remember asking my mom "I didn't fart, did I? I had a bunch of gas before the surgery and now it's gone, I hope I didn't fart in front of the cute nurse."
Cute nurse is behind me during the whole speech. WELP.
#24
Not a doctor, A friend was in a car crash, pretty bad he was in a coma for 2 months, he had a female doctor
for 2 months until he came out of his coma every time his doctor was checking on he would reach up and grab her breast, guessing he heard her voice.
when we told him about he did not believe us, so he asked her and she confirmed it, said she never stopped him because it seemed to keep him calm.
#25
Once I woke up asking if the ends justify the means. Once I went under while reminding all the women in the room that the room is very cold and they shouldn't judge.
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Binky Melnik 2 months ago
Last time I woke up after surgery (on my delicate parts) I was confused as to why there was SO MUCH PAIN, so I reached down there and it was wet. Looked at my hand and it was covered in blood! 😳 At that very moment, someone near me said to someone else, “She had a s*x change.” I shrieked! “Nooo!!! It was sposta be bladder surgery! FIX IT! FIX IT NOW!” A nurse I hadn’t noticed standing next to me said in a bored voice, “He’s not talking about you.” More shrieking because then I was relieved. I cried myself back to sleep and woke up feeling MUCH more aware of my surroundings and what was going on.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
Last time I woke up after surgery (on my delicate parts) I was confused as to why there was SO MUCH PAIN, so I reached down there and it was wet. Looked at my hand and it was covered in blood! 😳 At that very moment, someone near me said to someone else, “She had a s*x change.” I shrieked! “Nooo!!! It was sposta be bladder surgery! FIX IT! FIX IT NOW!” A nurse I hadn’t noticed standing next to me said in a bored voice, “He’s not talking about you.” More shrieking because then I was relieved. I cried myself back to sleep and woke up feeling MUCH more aware of my surroundings and what was going on.
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