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So, my parents are getting divorced, and my mom keeps grilling me on my grades. I have C's and B's but I usually get A's and B's. My mom keeps telling me that I can do better, but she's never gone through this. I may have cut once because of this stress, and I can't help but feel like I will never be enough for her. I am the firstborn, and she doesn't feel this way about my brother. I am also the only girl on my family, so I usually have to prove myself and show that I can actually get things without having them handed to me. Am I being dramatic?

#1

My parents are going through a divorce as well. I've always felt I had to prove myself cuz I was my dad's fave until my little bros came along. I'd need to hear your mom's side of the story from her, but no. I do not think your being dramatic.

Some books that I've found and have helped me tremendously in the process of self healing and mental stableness are:
Attached
Boundaries
Trauma bonding
Why Does He Do That
And finally; God's word to woman by Katherine Bushnell.
Sorry I can't remember the author's of the first four! 😖

Also I think that you should look into meditation apps, (I have one called Insight Timer) Bach remedies, and essential oils.

Sending support! 💗

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#2

No, you are not. It is totally normal to have less good grades or work when you are going though a bad period. I think that you need to sit with your mum and talk to her about it. Big hugs

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#3

Hola I think you are tottaly fine I think its the mom who just under some serious stress so like the person above me said talk to her as for the cutting I had experience with that and still trying to stop whenever I feel down so my best advice is to get far away from the thing you cut with

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#4

Nope totally not. I would probably have the same reaction if my parents got a divorce, I’m also the firstborn in my family so I feel like I have to do something to get people to recognize me, I’m not the only girl though I have a younger sister and I’m constantly getting “Why can’t you be like your sister?” or “Look at what your sister did!! It’s way better than the project you made when you were her age.” I even get compared to strangers. So I kinda understand what your going through, of course not the divorce part but everything else I can pretty much relate to

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#5

Your parents should want what's best for you and sometimes they have more experience than you....they've probably seen how can see how things can go downhill really fast so they're just over-worried. When my friend's parents got divorced, it was really easy to say 'oh she's going through a lot, cut her a little slack.' But that turned into an excuse to start being lazy and she ended up quitting a lot of her activities and gaining a lot of weight. So while it started as just being stressed from the divorce, it ended being where she was giving herself the excuse to fall into a little rut. Talk to your parents and assure them you're okay and just needed a little break but that you'll bounce back, and I promise it will make them feel better and they won't pressure you so much. But follow through with that-- bounce your grades back next semester and show them you meant it. In the meantime remember the divorce isn't your fault and don't let anyone pressure you or pull you into their problems.

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#6

Update: yea, she's been looking at my texts. Yay.

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#7

No you're not being dramatic. I think that you should have a heart to heart convo with your mum and tell her how you feel and tell her that you are trying your darnest to keep up your grades. I hope all goes well!

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