Aita For Not Forgiving My Friends, Even After They Apologized?

Ok, buckle up buttercup, this is going to be long… if you don’t want to read all of this, scroll down. I’ll leave an abbreviation of the story .

So, for context, I have these friends I’ve known my entire life. They live really close to me, and often come to my house and eat my snacks. I normally would be ok with this, exept they do it EVERY DAY, sometimes while I’m not even home. We have a tiny hole in our fence, that we can’t cover, because a tree goes right between the fence. They will come over to my house, hangout in my backyard, chill in my house, all while I’m not even home. It makes me feel like they don’t want to hang out with ME, they just want my house. But, that’s not the main part of the story.

So, when I drank Alr-8 almost every day, I would hang every bottle in the tree because I thought the light reflected off of them was pretty (they were glass, and I had taken the wrapper off). I also but private messages and notes in there, such as diary entrees, reason I wanted to recover, bucket lists, and much more. There were a lot.

This one day, I was inside again, working on an art project, while my friends were in my backyard. They apparently found a bottle on the ground that had fallen - there was nothing in it yet- and they asked my briber to smash it. Why? Nobody knows. He smashed it, and there was glass e v e r y w h e r e. But of course, that wasn’t enough for them. They said they wanted to see what was INSIDE the bottles. So, they took one down, and smashed it against the wall of our house. And another one. And another one. They didn’t tell me what they did. They just left. I only found out later on, when I went outside at night to check on my flowers, and found glass everywhere. I went over to the pool, and there was every single note I had written, floating on top, the ink getting into the pool. I know they had looked at them, because I put rubber bands around every note, and there was no rubber bands. I didn’t eat , or sleep, or do anything. I know it’s stupid, but it punched me in the gut.

I decided to talk to them about it, and they told me “sorry, I didn’t know you said not to do that” WHAT?? That is BASIC HUMAN DECENCY. That hurts SO MUCH.and now, they just keep coming over to my house, eating the food we bought for my Ed recovery, and being rude to my brother. But, the thing is, I feel awful. They apologized, why can I not accept that it’s over? I want to know it I did something wrong, because if someone is sorry, you say “it’s ok” and things are over. I just feel guilty about being angry at this situation, opinions?

TLDR; friends smashed and read my dream bottles that had private information in them, and threw the notes in the pool, leaving me to clean up the glass. They said sorry, and I told them I forgave them, yet I still have this hollow feeling in my stomach because of the situation.