On Christmas I finally stood up for myself against a long-time abusive relationship with my family, my father specifically.
If you could help share my story to help me raise awareness of domestic abuse and abuse within the family I would very much appreciate it. I hope that my story can help empower people to get out of their violent situations and stand up for themselves. This is my last experience with my family,
On Christmas day, at my brothers & his wifes home, my father tried to physically assault me after a conversation with me about something I did not want to talk about. (My work situation now that I have become disabled with Fibromyalgia, my parents trying to get me to go back to work after I can barely move my arms at that point ) After requesting not to talk about it, he continued, he did not like my response of continuing to try to stop the situation and he tried to hit me. Abusive behavior is unacceptable and should not be tolerated under any circumstances.
This is not the first time he has abused someone or myself.
not a single family member tried to stop him.
My only defense was to start screaming, stand up, get big – like you would a bear, my father is a big guy and I am a small female – telling him “I’m not afraid of you” and “If you hit me, I will call the police, I don’t give a shit who you are”
He went to the other side of the room and told me to “go shit on someone else”
Because I was screaming to him to put another hole in the wall, like he used to, that I’m not afraid of him, he wants to make that face, raise his fists and act like a big man?
After getting a ride home from my half-brother and his wife, I wrote this letter to my mother because I need to cut out toxic family members,
The letter:
“Hey mom! I wanted to say thank you for the wonderful Christmas presents to you and Dad. They were all very nice, very much appreciated. Thank you. The jewelry box is lovely.
I would like to apologize for my behavior yesterday, and for making you uncomfortable, my delivery of my discomfort was not ideal. I want to give you my perspective of what happened yesterday, so you can potentially see where I am coming from – first I just want to say, again, because I have tried to tell you and Dad this before. I don’t think it has gotten through, so I am going try once more. I’ve tried to kill myself. I’ve tried to kill myself multiple times, and Mike has been the only one there to help me.
Dad has painted the world in such a negative light. There is no good in the world. If there is you guys sure as hell never speak of it around me. What do you think filling me head full of: Stress, death, rape, defeat, failure — Will do to a person? Just think about it. Now think about someone who has tried to tell her parents multiple times that she is in emotional distress, literally to the point where I’ve said to both of you.. I take pills so I don’t kill myself. I wanted to jump off a bridge, etc — and then I go to dinners, or stop by for a visit, or talk on the phone and am continually surrounded by negativity, negative conversation, etc.
This is not the first time I have brought up how I cannot handle the negativity.
Anyway. This is my perspective from yesterday: Joe brought up the subject I did not want to talk about. It is very stressful and my parents keep telling me stressful, negative things about it – so I don’t want to talk about it from them. He began the conversation, I answered his question and said It’s a top I don’t want to talk about. Regardless of my wishes, the family continued I was told from both ends what I should do here, what I should do there – AS IF I don’t already have it handled. I exclaimed I do not want to talk about this. The room said: “Okay” Then you know what happened next?
It kept going and the next statement was about how I am going to lose. ”If you’re going up against a company, prepare yourself to lose.” Thanks dad. I’ve got a whole lot to gain from that. Who said they’re going up against a company? Not me. So you’re just saying a random negative statement just because? Why are you just telling me right off the bat I am going to lose? You don’t know what kind of assets I have, or information I have.
I am done being abused. You have taught me to respect myself. This is a reflection of me respecting myself and trying to better my life. I am done living in a negative atmosphere. I have decided going forward I will not be attending any family events, and feel it is for the best to keep my distance from an abusive household.
For Dad thinks he can raise his fist and try to come at me (a physical threat) over a verbal conversation just because he doesn’t like the words I am saying over a conversation I didn’t have to have and we had agreed to stop. I am done being abused. You have taught me to respect myself. This is a reflection of me respecting myself and trying to better my life.
I do not feel safe. I cannot have my own opinion as if it differs from Dad and he does not like the words I choose, there is a potential for him to raise his fists at me and potentially hit me? — No thank you.
I love you Mom. Over time, I will be changing the addresses so nothing will show up at your house. This will time me some time, please bare with me.
I love you Dad. I understand you’re a deeply flawed individual. You’ve had a hard life. You’ve painted this world in a completely negative light for me as a result, and abused your family. I cannot be around this environment.
As I was taught to value my safety and to respect myself. You should be proud and happy for me for getting myself out of a bad environment.
Anyway. Thank you for the wonderful gifts, it is very much appreciated. If you don’t want to give the gift in the car for mike, to mike that is fine – he was not treated well from this family from the beginning for some arbitrary reason anyway unlike brothers wife who was welcome from day 1 — so I don’t see why you would start treating him nicely now, personally. It seems kind of silly. He’s the reason I’m still alive. You might want to thank him. He has been through a lot because of this. I hope you guys continue to be well in life and make the best of it. Keep in touch, Lots of love. Karlie.”
I share my story to hopefully help someone who is in a bad situation get help, or help them know they are not alone and muster the courage to get out of their situation. You deserve good things.
Under no circumstances should you tolerate abuse.
If you, or someone you know is being abused there is ways to get out of it. And those ways can be scary because they are unknown, and those ways can be saddening because of “family ties”
If you need help getting out of an abusive household, there is help.
Here are some numbers below, if you know someone who needs them,
Adolescent Suicide Hotline
800-621-4000
Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling Nineline
1-800-999-9999
Victim Center
1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)
Youth Crisis Hotline
800-HIT-HOME
Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-7233
With love,
Karlie.
Please if you could share this to help others who need some strength to get out of a very difficult situation. You can also message me,
More info: yahoo.ca
24yr stood up to her abusive father
Toxic Family
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That's an amazing story, and I truly feel for you. I understand what you're going through. I've had to do the same myself. I went from an abusive father to falling into a cycle of abusive relationships. A couple years ago I finally ended the cycle. I'm proud of you for standing up and sharing your story. I know that probably sounds odd coming from a stranger, but it's a deeply personal situation, and I agree that people need to raise awareness for situations like these that we've both gone through. Stay strong! I wish you nothing but happiness and success! Thank you for your strength! You're an inspiration to myself and anyone else who reads your post.
I appreciate your kind words and good for you also having gotten out of a similar situation. Thank you :) I have virtually no one now but one person, so it does mean a lot to have some kind words come this way. I am some good can come from this story.
Load More Replies... That's an amazing story, and I truly feel for you. I understand what you're going through. I've had to do the same myself. I went from an abusive father to falling into a cycle of abusive relationships. A couple years ago I finally ended the cycle. I'm proud of you for standing up and sharing your story. I know that probably sounds odd coming from a stranger, but it's a deeply personal situation, and I agree that people need to raise awareness for situations like these that we've both gone through. Stay strong! I wish you nothing but happiness and success! Thank you for your strength! You're an inspiration to myself and anyone else who reads your post.
I appreciate your kind words and good for you also having gotten out of a similar situation. Thank you :) I have virtually no one now but one person, so it does mean a lot to have some kind words come this way. I am some good can come from this story.
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