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Being Picked Last In Gym Class Hurts, But Here Are 34 Adult Situations That Are As Painful
Whether your school years are long gone by now or you are still studying, I think most of us know what it means and how it feels to be picked last in gym class. If we don’t know the actual feeling as we may have never been in such a situation - well, it’s not hard to imagine.
However, when you don’t need to avoid gym classes anymore, there appear to be many different situations that make you feel very similar. And unfortunately, there are a lot. For example, being one of two people who order a taxi and realizing that everyone else wants to go with that other person. Or finding out that your friends have a group chat in which you are not included. You understand the feeling.
Recently, one Reddit user popped the question online, asking folks to share what is the adult version of being picked last in gym class. The thread gained a lot of attention and different opinions, so scroll through and share your thoughts below!
More info: Reddit
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#1
Being well liked but never reached out to.
If you don't keep up the effort, everyone just fades away.
Lyoness 1 year ago
Also when the people you supported through their problems aren't willing to do the same.
Astro 1 year ago
Kind of same. A lot of people I used to hang out with have kind of faded away because I didn’t keep up with the relationships, and I’m kind of not mad about it. I think I’m happier with a smaller core group of family and 2-3 friends.
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Panda-sized Potato 1 year ago
That's adulthood. Everyone has lives and responsibilities. It's hard to maintain relationships without effort.
Astro 1 year ago (edited)
That may be a fact of adulthood, but what OP is describing here is something different. It’s normal to be more distant from friends as an adult, but this post is about a different experience from that.
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Upstaged75 1 year ago
I got tired of being the only one who put any effort in to the relationship with my BFF (since we were 10 years old). I decided to see what would happen if I didn't initiate any contact and left it up to her. It's been almost 2 years now without a word and frankly I'm done. :( A one-sided friendship just doesn't work for me any more. Her loss!
RELATED:
#2
Finding out your co-workers are all going out for drinks that you are not invited to.
Otto Katz 1 year ago
What's annoying is being with co-workers, and having them all talking about the party they were all at last night, that you were not invited to, and you are just finding about now.
Donald 1 year ago
Been my lot in life forever, doesn't even phase me anymore but when I was younger it stung.
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Sharon Ammons 1 year ago
Had to call my boss out on this one recently. Because we added a lot of extra positions, we've outgrown our office space. So we're divided up, with all men and one woman in the main office and me and another woman down a short hallway. There's a restaurant in the bottom of our building. At least once a week, the head boss was taking everyone at their end of the office, minus the one woman, out to lunch at the restaurant downstairs. He was paying. One of the male colleagues that was going with them asked why we weren't invited and was given some lame excuses. So I sent an email to my boss and the assistant boss and said, "You know the optics are terrible on this, right? You're taking all the men in the office to lunch at least once a week but none of the women are invited?" Sent the both of them into a panic and now we're getting invited to go. I don't think it's every time, but at least some times.
Trophy Husband 1 year ago
I would always invite the person who was left out, and no one ever stopped inviting me because of it. I was bullied in high school, and I won't be a part of it at any age.
bigoldthor 1 year ago
At my age, I am thankful NOT to be invited to after work gatherings. Saves me from having to say no thanks.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Eh, screw em... If they can't be ärsed enough to invite you, you don't need them as friends. I don't want to hang out with my coworkers anyhow.
#3
Basically you do something that everyone has a problem with for some reason and then someone else does the same thing and people are fine with it.
Mike F 1 year ago
And, when you point out that fact, people scream "you're deflecting!". No, you're an unjust @sshole.
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Libstak 1 year ago
It got to the point when saying good morning was an issue. "Why does she always have to say good morning like that". So I stopped, then it became "she's so rude, doesn't even say good morning". Pure bullying via exclusion, always looking to target me via back stabbing, I would cry on the way to work, in the toilet, and on the way home nearly every day.
Couragetcd 1 year ago
I hope you found a better place to work for your health
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Joshua Seaman 1 year ago
I'm having a hard time contextualizing this one - even looked at the reddit thread and it didn't track for me. Can someone give an example?
Virgin Panda 1 year ago
Just literally had this happen to me and my sister. We volunteer at our local zoo and we've just been told off for talking to the staff too much. Another volunteer is never on the floor talking to guests but is sat in the office all the time with the very person who told us off!!!! We are p!ssed!!! Made my sister cry and she loves talking and helping people!! Won't be doing that anymore. We're so depressed that we just ordered kebabs and pizza to help cheer us up!!
Saeyoul Akiyune 1 year ago
This right here. I'm always afraid of doing something similiar but knowing that it'll be /me/ suffering consequences
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
I’m an introvert in a lot of ways, but very much an extrovert with people I know well and love. But when the larger friend group does this, I’m a teensy bit aggressive. I absolutely will call people out and say, so tell me why it’s perfectly ok for (insert name here, sometimes their own name) to do this when all I did was (9/10 far less offensive). I’ve also been known to tell others, no matter how much older than me they are, to please exit the conversation as the adults were talking now. One person in particular I can recall saying that to and they’ve shown me proper respect ever since. And our friendship is closer than ever.
#4
Trying to share an idea in a work meeting but no one acknowledges that you’re trying to speak.
bigoldthor 1 year ago
You have to be vocal and persistent in these settings. If you are a shrinking violet, you WILL get drowned out.
Lou Cam 1 year ago
A good manager would enable all people to give opinions though. Even if they have to directly ask them. The result is they would potentially miss out on a great idea otherwise. Sadly, not all managers are good.
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Shay Baranowski 1 year ago
then a man repeats it minutes later and everyone says what a great idea
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
I have had that happen too. I say something and it gets dismissed or ignored. A moment later a man—-and usually the biggest idiot and f**k-up in the group—-repeats what I just said, verbatim, and suddenly HE’S a f*****g genius! Pisses me off, and I always call it out, because I obviously have witnesses, who should—-but don always, unfortunately—-do the right thing and back me up (lots of disappointment with people there). I’m 63 now, and have always done that. Needless to say, back in the day it didn’t make me very popular with the misogynists at work, who of course were also in management positions, and who would immediately label me “difficult to work with”, something they would never call a man doing the exact same thing as I did. I heard that the real meaning of being called “difficult to work with” is actually “difficult to exploit”. Truer words were never spoken, especially when that particular phrase is applied to a woman.
Load More Replies... TheGoodBoi 1 year ago (edited)
I did get stares one time because I threw my hands up and scoffed lol. Then it was awkward because I felt like a pouty child 🙃. It gets old real quick...
Dan St John 1 year ago (edited)
I always left time at the end of a meeting, to go around the room one by one and let everyone voice their opinions on anything we covered and if we needed to go back to that issue, we did. How hard is that?
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
Then the one person who actually heard you will get the attention of the group and repeat what you said and receive grand accolades. A person with social intelligence will either get the attention and redirect it to you to speak up or at the very least tell the group who vocalized the idea and they were just trying to help you be heard. But just pay attention to how often it goes down with them getting undue credit. Social intelligence is seriously lacking today. (I’d even list info on generational differences but the gens involved would attack and deny so pointless).
#5
Being ignored in a conversation.
Lauren S 1 year ago
Me too! I hear you Panda Sized Potato. And I kind of suck at interrupting others and talking over them because I’m so scared I’ll never get to speak or I’ll forget what I was going to say or mostly, it won’t be relevant by the time I get a word in. So I can be annoyingly dominate in conversations and passively quiet. I’m nearing 40 and still don’t have a hold of how to balance this in basic conversation. But my goodness do I make sure my son is heard and gets to speak his piece because I never want him feeling like us.
Load More Replies... TheGoodBoi 1 year ago
Talking to someone, another person walks up and just starts talking to that person you were talking to. Like great, I was just moving my mouth for no reason anyways...
SCP 4666 1 year ago
That's just rude. And the best part is when the person you were talking to turns to them instead.
Load More Replies... John Dilligaf 1 year ago
there's a saying a read - "better to be alone by yourself than alone in a crowd"
PeepPeep the duck 1 year ago (edited)
I always make a point to stop for the these people, it used to happen to me in school a lot, but as I developed better people skills it stopped as an adult but in so aware when it happens to others and it bothers me. I like everyone to have a say if I’m hanging out and I’ll stop a whole group chat to go back and hear the person who was spoken over or interrupted etc
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago (edited)
In my family we all talk loud. Because if you don’t you’ll never get a thought out edgewise. I’m trying to work on this on myself but retracing conversational boundaries at 50 is a tough change. Plus my memory issues make it so if I don’t speak immediately upon thinking it, my brain will melt before I can finish my sentence later in the conversation. But still I try.
#6
Walking behind the group on the sidewalk because there’s no room for you to be next to them
Astro 1 year ago (edited)
Lol a few weeks ago, a group of 4-5 people were walking side-by-side towards me on the sidewalk. I was hoping they could shuffle over for a moment and handle not walking next to each other for a second to let me pass them, but apparently that was unacceptable. I actually had to stop and just stood there while one of them walked right into me (I had nowhere else to go, they blocked me in against the building) and then got confused and cussed me out. Like, are y’all actually dumb, if you’ve made yourself this problem you’re the one who obviously needs to move then? There isn’t room for your entire teenage friend group to walk side-by-side and still let me pass, sorry adults exist and are also entitled to use the sidewalk lmfao 🙄
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Daft Mosquito 1 year ago
At least you won't be one of those obnoxious idiots who walk four abreast on a narrow pavement.
Say No to Downvoting 1 year ago
Oooo - that is my personal pet hate!!! Especially when my kids were little and they’d be unconsciously forcing me, my pram and two toddlers off the path. I got to the point where I would just stand still in the middle of the path when I saw them coming. I HATE those people!
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Epsilon 1 year ago
Actually, I do this on purpose. It let's me see where everyone is. I have major paranoia and anxiety so knowing that everyone is safe visually really helps
John Smith (he/him/xy/️) 1 year ago
I like you and your attitude and mindset, we should have a beer together.
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Tiffany Wilson 1 year ago
I ALWAYS stop and start walking with that person behind us, because I've been that person.
bigoldthor 1 year ago
Good grief, this is just whining. The sidewalk can only accommodate 2-3 people side by side, at most. Just chill and stay off the street so you can get to your destination safely.
Jesha 1 year ago
I've gotten on my friends before - thankfully it worked because I do not hang out with a-holes - about walking way far ahead of me. The cane ain't just for show y'all, and I am not that slow.
1 year ago
I'm married to an a**hole, and he walks far ahead of me, even on supposed romantic walks on the beach or through the woods. I've mentioned to him that i'm still all alone when he takes me somewhere nice. He can't help himself. :-(
Load More Replies... John Smith (he/him/xy/️) 1 year ago
Then you are one of the polite ones that I always mentally thank. Because it is one less person of a group of 3+ abreast taking up the entire width of the sidewalk who I have to almost intimidate into moving aside when approaching in opposite direction. If you are in that position though, assert yourself right into the center.
Bender Bending Rodríguez 1 year ago
Please don't block the whole side walk. Leave some room for other to pass you.
#7
When the group chat goes silent after you suggest something.
Bexxperience 1 year ago
Or even better (worse), when you find out there's another, identical group chat, just without you in it ...
Momo Skarsgård 1 year ago
That's when the other people made a different group chat to talk about that suggestion.
John Smith (he/him/xy/️) 1 year ago
And then you realize 1 month later they formed a new all - 1 groupchat...
#8
Watching people plan an event in the same room as you but not inviting you
Frank Russell 1 year ago
That sure makes it easier than coming up with an excuse as to why I can't attend.
Mrs Irish Mom 1 year ago (edited)
Happened to me, my aunt in law and i dont get on so she invited my 2 sisters in law to a girls night out with me in the room, i just smiled and said to my sis in laws, hope you have an amazing time as i didnt give a s#it anyway..night out never happenes she just said it to p!ss me off 🙈 such sad people in the world
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Professional jazz pianist here. Went to a Christmas party where everyone else was a beginner musician. They all gathered together to play horrible music. They would not give me a turn to play with the group. When they finally let me play, they all left the room.
SuperChicken 1 year ago (edited)
Nice. How long have you been playing? I'm a frustrated pianist 😆 Anyway, those beginners are just jealous, knowing that you can jam better than they.
Load More Replies... 1 year ago
I've planned lunch with my regular lunch gang in front of a friend (and maybe 12 others) who often tries to invite himself, but when we let him come, he talks with food in his mouth and spits on our food. He's an obnoxious know-it-all otherwise. Nope, we don't want him to come to lunch with us.
Marigo 1 year ago
If you don't want that person along, set up the event ahead of time. If you think you have to do it in front of him, yes, you're still the jerk.
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I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
This is just incredibly rude. I know people like that and it really irks me.
Mark Bayliss 1 year ago
My inner monologue would be repeating "please don't invite me, please don't invite me!
Couragetcd 1 year ago
Especially if you are supposed to be in charge of the planning committee
Thatkamloopsguy 1 year ago
That would never bother me as I have no desire to socialize with the people I have to work with. I have my own life.
#9
Seeing everybody in the office return from a lunch outing you were never told about.
And the even worse flip side, arriving at the location for a group outing, and nobody else shows up because it was cancelled but nobody told you.
Frank Russell 1 year ago
Being part of a critical department in your company, but never getting invited when the rest of the company caters lunch. They sure don't hesitate to call when their equipment goes down.
C.O. Shea 1 year ago
Kinda like the plot of Sleeping Beauty... no one invited the old one from the tower.
Load More Replies... Lydsylou (she/her) 1 year ago
The last one happened to me the other day thought tbh they were really apologetic. One of the people thought it was cancelled due to some miscommunication where we were going to change the date but didn't so she told a couple of others who were planning on going and organised something else with them. Me and one other woman were the only people she didnt tell because we aren't that close to her and we don't talk much. The other woman couldn't come anyway and had to cancel last minute. So I spent an hour and a half, £8 and 3 buses getting there. When I arrived I thought everyone except the lady who cancelled would be there after 20 mins with no one arriving I texted someone and they told me they thought we cancelled and they had all met up elsewhere. By that point I couldn't be bothered so I bought myself a McDonald's and went home. It was a complete waste of an afternoon
bigoldthor 1 year ago
"Oh, I'm sorry...I thought Karen/Bob/Susan/Andre told you! They didn't? Well, they were supposed to!"
Greg Baughman 1 year ago
Recently, we had a potluck in our IT department. That was cool... I made lasagna and spinach artichoke dip. What I wasn't informed of, however, is that the night before, there was a group chat (that I wasn't included in) that decided they were also going to do a LAN party. Everyone showed up with their computers except me...
DarkViolet 1 year ago
I've dealt with Part 2. The one day of the year at my job where we would have a nice breakfast at someone's house and just kick back. I remember driving a considerable distance to be at one such gathering, only to be told that the event had been canceled. It was the beginning of the end at that job.
#10
being invited to a social event but not really being completely welcome. like, everyone is nice to you but it feels like it’s out of obligation.
Shawn Barry 1 year ago
You go to those, and have fun being a borderline obnoxious extrovert
Load More Replies... SuperChicken 1 year ago
And five minutes into the party, that's when I make an Irish goodbye.
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Rob Williams 1 year ago
I remember going out with a group of my wife's male colleagues. They made virtually no effort to include me other than to nominate me as the kitty holder. Everyone put in £25 at the beginning of the evening and that was to pay for drinks, a curry, and a taxi home; this was back in the eighties! We'd done the pub crawl and ended up in the restaurant and they were being horrible to the waiters. In the end I decided that I'd had enough. I gave the waiters all the taxi money as a tip and walked out.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Realizing you are there because of a pity invite would be a valid source of social anxiety.
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#11
When your best friend mentions their best friend and it isn't you
Lydsylou (she/her) 1 year ago
That's why I don't have a best friend. I have really great friends but I can choose just one person to be the best it's not fair. Either everyone is my best friend or everyone is a good friend
Astro 1 year ago
Same, I don’t play the “best” friend jealousy game. I have a few “very good best friends” but its absolutely not a competition, we’re not teenagers any more lol
Load More Replies... bigoldthor 1 year ago (edited)
Haven't really had a "best friend" since elementary school. I have some family I'm closer with, casual friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and friendly coworkers, but I never really hit a best-friend stage of life in adulthood.
#12
When you ask someone if they want to do something on a certain day and they go
“Yes but I’ll let you know if something else props up”
As in “I will but only as a last resort in case someone even better wants to hang out”
laura lee 1 year ago
I think you mean friend bc that's pretty much the essence of acquaintances
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 1 year ago
This is why I don't celebrate my birthday anymore. So many times I would plan an event, people would tell me they are coming, I'd put my heart and soul into getting everything ready, and then last minute have people say "Oh, I got invited to something else, I'm going to that instead."
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
What's more painful is having to plan your own birthday party because your friends/family couldn't be bothered organising one for you.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 year ago
No, "pops up" is a standard English usage and is used correctly here..
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Saeyoul Akiyune 1 year ago
Okay, this could have several meaning though, doesn't necessarily always means that last part. In my case, I'd rather have someone tell me "sure, but if something comes up..." because the future can't be told, especially if this event is planned ahead. I do this as well, to let them know it's a possibility. Never really had to until I met a friend where I live now and the case is usually his family (they're a.s.s.h.o.l.e.s mostly). However, if I end up finding out it's with someone else or if it turns into a lie, that's when it's gets bad.
Leigh 1 year ago
I've had the problem where I have tickets to an event and I invite someone to come along. I reiterate the tickets are non refundable so please don't say yes unless you really want to go. Then they waste my money by not showing up or not giving a heads up they can't make it so I can invite someone else.
#13
Being asked to take a group picture of the group that you had come with.
Mike F 1 year ago
But, like the pic above, there's always some guy with his tongue sticking out so if it's all the same to you, I'll be happy to take that photo rather than being upset at being omitted.
Astro 1 year ago
Wait just because someone has their tongue sticking out?
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Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
I'm fine with taking the picture. I HATE participating in group photos!
Jared Robinson 1 year ago
Had a whole supposed "second family" at one point. I was always the one to take the picture, turns out they were all just fair weather friends that used me but when I needed help they all bailed.
#14
In a group chat everyone wishing the respective birthday girl "Happy Birthday" and forgetting yours three years in a row!
Big Chungus 1 year ago
I've had mutual friends tell my twin happy birthday and not me, fully aware we are twins and have known the person for years
EasyBreezyCataneze 1 year ago
My 'best friend' remembered my birthday after a month. But she really felt guilty about it because she starts announcing her birthday a month before and we plan a party for her. I don't do that. After that year, she started taking me to out to celebrate.
Lavern Defazio 1 year ago
I dont know about anyone else, but these posts dont mean much to me at all. I got all this out of my system years ago. I love being my age.
Justanotherpanda 1 year ago
Is why I tell nobody my birthday. If no one knows, they can't forget.
bigoldthor 1 year ago
There always seems to be one or two people in every group whose birthday(s) is/are of utmost importance.
Quarkbeast 1 year ago
Story of my life, my birthday is on a date where everyone is busy celebrating something else. It sucks but I'm used to it by now. One advantage is people don't ask "So how old are you now?" Makes it easier to lie about my age, lol.
#15
Last resort friend because someone is bored and no one else will hang with them
#16
Everyone knows about something important, and you're the last to find out.
Lydsylou (she/her) 1 year ago
I knew stuff had been going on but no one told me anything. I didn't pry because I thought it was insensitive to do so. A year later I found out from a mutual friend that my friends ex had been making death threats. I'm pretty sure I could've at least supported her in that time
PeepPeep the duck 1 year ago
This was a social skill I had to learn, how to get involved with work gossip without it being actual gossip to keep up with the news. Asking questions you feel uncomfortable asking that the socially skilled find the norm.
TheGoodBoi 1 year ago (edited)
THIS. At my job, I literally should be the first one to know things. So much s**t has been screwed up because I'm the last one to know. There's more time pointing fingers than there is just learning from the first mistake...
#17
Your supervisor quit
You weren’t considered for promotion because “something something HR says we’ve got to hire someone from outside”
You get asked to train the new hire to be your supervisor
H Wiley 1 year ago
Oh yeah. Walked in Monday, dropped my keys off and said " see you". Right to work works both ways.
Load More Replies... TheGoodBoi 1 year ago
"You do your job too well. Why would we promote you and hire someone to suck at your job, when we could just hire a supervisor outside and pay you the same to do yours and the new supervisor's job?"
Michael Largey 1 year ago (edited)
So train your new supervisor. Train him or her that you work from home and that your sole responsibility is to warn the workplace of any approaching glaciers.
Shay Baranowski 1 year ago
hmmm...good companies promote from WITHIN first...never heard of "forced to hire outside"
Astro 1 year ago
Exactly. All the best companies I’ve worked for have always promoted from within.
Load More Replies... bigoldthor 1 year ago
Corporate-speak for "you should probably move on," or "we have no intentions of ever promoting you."
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
My take on that would be "I didn't get the job so I'm obviously not qualified to train that person". But that's a bridge burner :P
H Wiley 1 year ago
So what. Burn that bridge. Unless you work in a specialised , small community field, dont worry. Large companies have no trouble burning bridges ( fire staff over zoom) but workers are suppossed to " take the high road"? Either both sides are accountable for bad behavior or none.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 year ago
And oddly somehow, the new hire is someone from inside the company, usually the boss’ kid, a*****e buddy, or new squeeze. They proceed to f**k up absolutely everything because they’re either lazy and allowed to slide and/or they don’t know their a*s from a hole in the wall, and you are asked to come in and clean up their mess after they’re let go. But you’re never offered that job, and usually never even thanked for cleaning everything up, and yet another f**k-up is hired for it—-and this time they ask you to train them!
#18
No one laughing at your joke and someone repeats it and everyone laughs. Yeah pretty hurt about it lol
PeepPeep the duck 1 year ago
Had this happen in school, I was the biggest loser, I read a bumper sticker in 8th grade “wanna get laid? Crawl up a chickens bum and wait!” And I told my small group and they were like - meh whatever. The most popular guy got hold of it and went around the school making everyone crack up :) it didn’t bother me cos I planted the seed that made for some good laughs
Astro 1 year ago
I will 100% give you credit for that 😂 username also kinda checks out
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OdetteB 1 year ago
This happens to me whenever we go out. I don't know if it's because my voice blends in with the general background noise or it's a volume thing, but the only person who hears my witty ripostes are my husband, so he repeats what I've just said and everybody laughs. He does, bless him, give me the credit most of the time, but it's as if no one expects ME to be funny. And I can be.
#19
I went to my son’s Halloween class party last year and all the moms stood in the complete opposite corner of the room and I sat by myself the whole time. No one said a word to me and I’m not sure why. That one kinda stung.
Panda-sized Potato 1 year ago
This one actually sounds like a "you" problem. You chose to sit opposite of everyone, and you expected them to come to you.
Marnie 1 year ago
That was my thought as well. Maybe OP just isn't explaining the situation fully, but it seems like OP just needed to go join the party.
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Just me, myself, and I 1 year ago
Our neighborhood cliques are just as bad. I've lived here 3 years and kept putting myself out there, starting conversations, joining clubs, but still don't have a friend I can call and invite to lunch. Only acquaintances. It's because I don't golf and yes I've tried golfing. I give up.
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BarkingSpider 1 year ago
This one sucks if you are the kind of person that likes to socialize but has trouble inititating conversations with people you don't know well.
Quarkbeast 1 year ago
I feel you. These days, if this type of thing happens to me I just leave. Not going to stick around and be ignored.
bigoldthor 1 year ago
This happens to me but usually only when I've had one too many burritos.
MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
I am fine with this - They all treated me like a weirdo because I was the breadwinner and not a SAHM. Works for me, less drama.
Ropre 1 year ago
When we first moved to our house we've now owned for 20 years my son was just starting kindergarten. I went to my first PTA meeting and no one said a word to me. I also signed up for a few things and was never called to help. I worked in the same town at a garden center for many many years. Many of the women at the meeting recognized me from work and I signed up for the plant sale and they didn't even call me. I had a ton of connections from work but they just couldn't be bothered asking me to help. I never went back to any PTA meetings after that.
SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago
while it would've been nice if one of them went over to you, they werent mind readers, maybe they thought you wanted to be alone since you didnt go and say hi
#20
Being turned down for a job you’re very qualified for and you can tell that it’s because they just don’t like your personality or style or don’t think you’ll fit in.
TheGoodBoi 1 year ago
This always happens to me with promotions. They always end up hiring a buddy or family member that they end up having to let go...
Tabitha 1 year ago
Then they turn to YOU to clean up the mess their buddy/relative made—-and STILL don’t give you the promotion, or even say thank you, and instead hire yet another buddy/relative who also f***s everything up and is let go. Then you’re brought in to clean up the mess again, or you’re just given their work as part of yours, with no promotion or raise to go with it.
Load More Replies... Miss Violet Knightchild 1 year ago
That one hurts but it's probably better for you in the long run tbh. You wanna be appreciated at work, at least a little
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
Or they obviously never intended to hire anybody and were only interviewing people for legal reasons.
Lara Verne 1 year ago
Something like that happened to me.They hired me, but fired me two weeks later. They made up some story about how I don't fit into their team. It wasn't team, It was boss and her fan club.
Mark Fuller 1 year ago
Oh god this is all too relatable at the moment. Not so much because they don't like me per se, but because they never had any intention other than recruiting their best mate or long standing colleague, who regularly don't have the necessary skills, qualifications or experience.
PeepPeep the duck 1 year ago
It’s weird, meanwhile the current job I have, I got because the owner likes mermaid and I’m also a mermaid entertainer 😂 luckily I’m also good at the job and I fit in for once, cos I never fit in anywhere usually, which I’m used too, but your own kind is so refreshing
Cinti Jack 1 year ago
I would call that dodging a bullet. Working with people who don't like you us at best challenging; more likely frustrating and hellish.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
I don't have a problem with that if the person who ends up getting the job is actually qualified. If I was running a team I'd prefer to have people I thought fitted into the existing culture that someone who might have personality clashes.
#21
Not being in a group chat.
Lydsylou (she/her) 1 year ago
I had one friend group who made a group chat specifically to plan a surprise birthday party. I couldn't make it to the party so I wast part of the chat which was fine. A few weeks later the conversation in the group chat I was on with the same people had almost gone silent. Then someone told me that the people in the party group chat had added the.person they were throwing the party for after the event and that was pretty much the main group chat now. So basically instead of removing me from a group chat they just made a new one and abandoned the one I was on
Daniela Lavanza 1 year ago (edited)
One good way to know your "friends" are not worthy. Get new ones and don't waste time with these.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 1 year ago
It very much depends whose choice it is. My company has a Whatsapp group, but I choose not to join.
EasyBreezyCataneze 1 year ago (edited)
I hate chat groups. Especially the WhatsApp ones. My 'best friend ' created a group when she started getting closer to new people who had joined our team. I was fine with the friendship because my house was almost 45 mins away from hers and it wasn't very convenient for us to meet outside office regularly. With her new friends she got more opportunities as they were practically neighbours. She added me to this group. I didn't mind finding about the plans but my last straw were the pictures they shared later. Most of them with middle fingers up. I hate this. I told them not to post these in particular, rest whatever they want I am fine. Their response was to post more of these. I promptly exited the group.
#22
Out of all the people at work doing very little/ nothing at all, and being the only person to get a very s**t task, while the others have no tasks assigned. That's me.
Khavrinen 1 year ago
First year on the job: "You're going to have to do the tasks nobody likes, because the people with higher seniority have first pick of the better ones." After ten+ years: "You're going to have to do the tasks nobody likes, because your current coworkers are all a bunch of newbies who don't know how to do any of them." ( Took me way too long to notice this was how things were at work. )
#23
Bringing in some homemade treat for the office to share, and nobody eats it.
bigoldthor 1 year ago
Awkward. But tbh, lots of people don't like to eat homemade foods in these settings anymore due to not knowing the environment or conditions in which they were made. I'm a little skittish of this myself these days.
Fire Singer 1 year ago
I do get this one, as the resident baker at my work, but there could be lots of reasons people didn't eat it. Allergies, diets, preference. I've learned not to take it personal when something I bring in goes uneaten.
Blondie23 1 year ago
Not to be harsh.. but people need to stop doing this. I LOVE baking and cooking but even I don't bring in homemade treats anymore. Too many people have allergies or food restrictions. Or they are on some diet.... plus a lot of people are leary of how the food is prepared and that stops them. The gesture is very sweet but unless you know what people will eat, save your self the heartache.
#24
Coworkers ordering lunch / coffee and not asking if you want anything.
Hey! 1 year ago
When I was working, I never asked anyone if they wanted something; it was my lunch after all.
Marnie 1 year ago
I'm assuming OP is saying that someone is ordering lunch/coffee for the group and asks everyone except OP. I personally have never had that situation at work, but apparently people do order for their coworkers at some places.
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#25
Having your tinder date leave the bar with someone else
LargeMarge 1 year ago
This happened to me but it was the early 90s and I met my date on a chatline, which were really popular back then. We went to a club, had fun or so I thought, got ready to go, and she told me to hop in the back. Some girl hopped in the front, and they were all over each other through the ride home. I never contacted her again because it was very insulting, and she could have just waited to drop me off to do whatever she wanted, she did not have to do all that in my face. Then she had the audacity to call me back to see how I was doing. Lol, what a clown.
#26
Being invited to a party as an afterthought
Donald 1 year ago (edited)
Once got my older cousin to get some adult beverages for a party for a "friend" of mine. Set it up, got the order delivered to my place and he comes by to load it up in his car. We have a short conversation and he was on his way. The only real friend I had at the party asked why I wasn't there several hours later, well guess who was never invited. That one made me cry a little that night alone in my room. I was young and naive and was hoping that the invitation would come at some point.
BarkingSpider 1 year ago
Once had my dad tell me about a out of country vacation he was taking with some of the family and throw in a, "you can come too if you want, but our tours are all sold out." Yeah, no thanks.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
A friend of mine from college called me up a week before her wedding and said I could come - if I wanted to. (Everyone else had gotten a written invitation months before.) She made it abundantly clear that she wanted me to decline. So I absolutely accepted. At the reception, she was plainly unhappy to see me, but she didn't have to see me long. Two minutes after we finished dinner, I left with her best friend.
Zobi123 1 year ago
Oof. A good friend of mine invited me via text to her daughter's religious event (mix of confirmation and bat mizvsh) a few days before said event. Everyone else was dressed a lot fancier than me and my husband, and many had traveled from out of town. It was clearly a lot more organized than the casual text suggested and we were just replacing someone who cancelled. That really hurt.
Ben Churchill 1 year ago
I kinda feel that right now. Or, it's more like I think that I'm a last resort, since this person has never once invited me to a party. I see her only at mutual friend's parties. But, she just reached out to me to invite me to one she's having this Saturday. In the back of my head, I'm wondering how many other friends she went through first who couldn't make it. I shouldn't be so pessimistic...
DarkViolet 1 year ago
That's when you politely decline, then go somewhere fabulous and post pictures on Facebook. Point made.
#27
Getting skipped when someone brings a birthday card for everyone to sign. Not just once, every time. I worked there long enough that I knew the birthday person way better than the person bringing around the card to be signed.
Then of course there is the "hey let's order pizza" day but they don't ask if you want to go in on it.
The best one is when someone tell you about something that happened and you were there and saw it yourself. You say I know I saw it. Their response "You were there?" Yes. I was standing right next to you.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
That was my thinking. Dollar stores have good cards, keep a few in your desk; when you see the card going around, fill out your own and beat the group to the punch. 😁
Load More Replies... bigoldthor 1 year ago
Sounds like you need to find a different group of friends, coworkers, etc. You're obviously not fitting in or have been ostracized for some reason.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
My bestie whined about not getting gifts from expected ppl this year so mentioned I only got a work card. "Nobody knows where you live". My response? "You could have asked" . It was the final nail in the realization that she was all about her.
#28
Texting all your friends merry Christmas and not a single one of them texting it to you first.
BarkingSpider 1 year ago
I used to always be the first texter, the birday rememberer, the one who checked in. It was never reciprocated, so I stopped. I actually got quite a few this year, which was a nice improvement over last year. Now I know who cares and who I've been waisting my energy on.
SuperChicken 1 year ago
I know the feeling too well. For some reason, it feel liberating to not do anything, except to reply to those few true friends.
Load More Replies... Charles McChristy 1 year ago
Bringing in treats for the entire office and only one or two people thank you.
Fire Singer 1 year ago
If you're always the one initiating texts like this I get it, but sometimes you're just going to be the first one to wish them a happy Christmas. I think I need more explanation on this one to know why it hurt so badly.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 year ago
I think it's because OP is the one who always instigates the conversation; I know I am that person. So this year I waited to see which of my "friends" would call/text me holiday greetings first, and wouldn't you know it, NONE of them contacted me at all, even after I sent messages. So it hurts to know that even though you were thinking of your "friends" on the holiday, none of them were actually thinking about you.
Load More Replies... Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
I’m just happy they respond. Could be a million times worse. Could be you get crickets when you send out holiday cheer
#29
Being dared to go home, while playing Truth or Dare!
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago (edited)
What adults play truth or dare? Serious question. Edit I stand corrected reading other comments. I just have never heard of anyone over 15 play this!
Astro 1 year ago (edited)
Unrelated but what is the last word in your username 😂 I can’t figure it out
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Astro 1 year ago (edited)
It is. My friends and I in our 30s still play adult-versions of games like Truth or Dare, hide and seek, capture the flag, etc. We’re adults, that doesn’t mean we can’t play games and have fun any more, does it?
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SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago
if someone did that to me they'd be my new best friend, home to my warm bed and video games? or in a social setting with a group of people i hardly know or care about? guess whats getting my pick lol
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
Wait, what? I thought this was supposed to be adult versions of this behavior. Are adults really playing truth or dare? I’ve finally lost touch completely.
#30
Getting the mail and finding wedding invitations for all of your roommates, but not for you, for a friend you all knew from college the year before.
Lyoness 1 year ago (edited)
This happened to me at work. I didn't know until the day of the wedding when another manager told me to keep an eye on the other employees. When I asked why she said I was the only manager not invited to the wedding. That hurt but made it pretty clear that I didn't fit in.
Miss Violet Knightchild 1 year ago
I've not been invited to the wedding of two people I knew and helped get together :/
SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago (edited)
its the cheapest day, especially if its during the winter, sometimes april is within the "winter" for wedding seasons
Load More Replies... DarkViolet 1 year ago
Look at it from another perspective: think of all the money you'll be saving on wardrobe, transportation, and gifts. If you aren't worth an invite to them, they aren't worth anything from you.
#31
Having two ubers to get somewhere, being someone who ordered one of the Uber, and everyone obviously wanting to ride with the other person.
Quarkbeast 1 year ago
I'd be headed in the other direction, or home. Pick some different "everyones".
#32
Every year, my father and stepmother host Christmas dinner. We all get assigned something: appetizer, desert, sides, etc. I always get assigned cheese. I have never, in my entire life, enjoyed cheese. And I'm a pretty good cook (nothing special, but just sayin' I could put something together).
Every year, they give me f**king cheese. And they bring their own, so why bother even giving me cheese?
Frank Russell 1 year ago
Show up with a bottle of your favorite booze. Pour yourself a glass, smile, and say, "cheese!"
Panda-sized Potato 1 year ago
Sounds like one of those permanent assignments. You did it before, so you do it again. Have you tried talking to them about it? Maybe ask if you can bring something else?
Charles McChristy 1 year ago
I am a former sous chef, and one of the cheap and easy things I make the best is mashed potatoes, but my one of my in-laws always brings the mashed potatoes, and all they did was mash them. No seasoning, no butter, no cream, nothing. FFS let me make the potatoes one year!
Quarkbeast 1 year ago
Next time bring a different type of cheese, like head cheese or vegan cheese. See what happens. Have fun with it.
#33
Going to the bathroom with the girls and then they leave you in there alone hahahahaha
#34
Being given the day off on a big inspection day
Lyoness 1 year ago
Isn't being given a day off a good thing? Well, clearly not to OP. Also not sure why the downvote as this is clearly one person's opinion.
Astro 1 year ago
If you are given the day off on a “big inspection day,” that implies that you are a problem that they don’t want around during inspections lol, it’s not a good sign.
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What do you think ?
Panda-sized Potato 1 year ago
Some of these just sound like straight FOMO. But you can't expect to be a part of everything. You are not the center of the world. People's lives don't revolve around you. I have good friends that do stuff without me. That's perfectly fine. I've done stuff without other friends, too. Can't involve everyone everytime. And sometimes you have to take the initiative, if you want to do something. I understand it is hard sometimes/all the time. I'm an introvert, so I understand. And I know how much rejection hurts. It causes me to shy away from doing things sometimes. But you can't expect people to put in the effort if you are not willing to do the same. And you can't be a part of everything all the time.
Astro 1 year ago
Yeah honestly I’ve known people who were not well-liked for legitimate reasons (they’re a jerk/racist/make other people uncomfortable, etc) and I’ve heard them make a lot of the arguments presented in this post. It’s not always everyone else’s fault if they don’t enjoy your company! But sometimes you can be a lovely person but introverted just stay in the corner without h letting anyone else get a chance to get to know you. Human interaction is annoying and complicated, and we all deserve friends, but you can’t always just wait for friends to just happen sadly :(
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Denise Melek 1 year ago
When those things happened to me, with hindsight I often realized that I kinda was annoying or unfriendly that time.
Ms.GB 1 year ago
If this kinda thing consistently happens to you perhaps look within. These kind of things happen to everyone once in a while but I have worked with people that were purposely not told about get togethers etc. but it was never because they were too shy or introverted or awkward. If you have terrible hygiene or constantly creep on people or insult others nobody wants to be around you...those are the only scenarios I can see of this happening time after time with different groups of people in the adult world. There was one person that would never pay for themselves etc...sometimes there are reasons.
Bec 1 year ago
When I was struggling with depression, I felt unwelcomed or unliked, but it was probably mostly in my head. I watched this with a loved one as well, we'd go out to eat and he would complain that people were giving him dirty looks or being rude - nope, most people aren't paying attention to you, and even if they are, don't base your self worth on their opinions
Mila Sliacka 1 year ago
Here’s one: supporting your friend during the long breakup on daily basis. Planning to see each other when he comes to town. Rescheduling my day so we can spend time together, calling him to check how the train ride is going only to find out he is not coming because he made plans plans with his new boyfriend. Didn’t bother to tell me. After this happened more than once I bailed out.
Poediddy 1 year ago
Not once in any of these stories did anyone say, "Hey, maybe I'm the problem!"
INGI 1 year ago
Well, most were one-liners, not deep, introspective essays, so...
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Jennifer Clayton 1 year ago
Having a friend confide their drama to you and say "I could never tell my real friends about this."
Panda-sized Potato 1 year ago
Some of these just sound like straight FOMO. But you can't expect to be a part of everything. You are not the center of the world. People's lives don't revolve around you. I have good friends that do stuff without me. That's perfectly fine. I've done stuff without other friends, too. Can't involve everyone everytime. And sometimes you have to take the initiative, if you want to do something. I understand it is hard sometimes/all the time. I'm an introvert, so I understand. And I know how much rejection hurts. It causes me to shy away from doing things sometimes. But you can't expect people to put in the effort if you are not willing to do the same. And you can't be a part of everything all the time.
Astro 1 year ago
Yeah honestly I’ve known people who were not well-liked for legitimate reasons (they’re a jerk/racist/make other people uncomfortable, etc) and I’ve heard them make a lot of the arguments presented in this post. It’s not always everyone else’s fault if they don’t enjoy your company! But sometimes you can be a lovely person but introverted just stay in the corner without h letting anyone else get a chance to get to know you. Human interaction is annoying and complicated, and we all deserve friends, but you can’t always just wait for friends to just happen sadly :(
Load More Replies... Denise Melek 1 year ago
When those things happened to me, with hindsight I often realized that I kinda was annoying or unfriendly that time.
Ms.GB 1 year ago
If this kinda thing consistently happens to you perhaps look within. These kind of things happen to everyone once in a while but I have worked with people that were purposely not told about get togethers etc. but it was never because they were too shy or introverted or awkward. If you have terrible hygiene or constantly creep on people or insult others nobody wants to be around you...those are the only scenarios I can see of this happening time after time with different groups of people in the adult world. There was one person that would never pay for themselves etc...sometimes there are reasons.
Bec 1 year ago
When I was struggling with depression, I felt unwelcomed or unliked, but it was probably mostly in my head. I watched this with a loved one as well, we'd go out to eat and he would complain that people were giving him dirty looks or being rude - nope, most people aren't paying attention to you, and even if they are, don't base your self worth on their opinions
Mila Sliacka 1 year ago
Here’s one: supporting your friend during the long breakup on daily basis. Planning to see each other when he comes to town. Rescheduling my day so we can spend time together, calling him to check how the train ride is going only to find out he is not coming because he made plans plans with his new boyfriend. Didn’t bother to tell me. After this happened more than once I bailed out.
Poediddy 1 year ago
Not once in any of these stories did anyone say, "Hey, maybe I'm the problem!"
INGI 1 year ago
Well, most were one-liners, not deep, introspective essays, so...
Load More Replies... Jennifer Clayton 1 year ago
Having a friend confide their drama to you and say "I could never tell my real friends about this."
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