This Victorian Letter From A Man To His Pregnant Mistress Proves Red Flags Are Timeless

The dating world is hard for single people. In 2020, 67% of American daters said their dating lives were not going too well. Women had it particularly difficult, with 65% saying they had experienced harassing behaviors during a date or with a person they were dating. But has it always been like this throughout history?

One gentleman’s letter to his mistress might just be proof that men, as Doja Cat would sing in the clean version, ain’t it. 19th-century art and fashion historian Rosie Hart brought people’s attention to the fact that even Victorian boyfriends lacked class by reading said letter to her followers. “Proof that it was embarrassing to have a boyfriend 160 years ago as well,” one commenter quipped.

If you think boyfriends in the Victorian era were all classy gentlemen, you might need to think again

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Image credits: Álvaro Serrano / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

One creator recently shared a love letter from the 1800s that proves dating was hell for women even back then

Woman reacting to a handwritten letter from the worst Victorian boyfriend sparking questions about historical behavior.

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Text excerpt from a letter attributed to the worst Victorian boyfriend, sparking questions about historical behavior.

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Letter excerpt from worst Victorian boyfriend Spencer Compton Cavendish, highlighting historical attitudes in relationships.

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Text excerpt discussing a Victorian letter mentioning a mistress from a working-class Irish immigrant family in Liverpool.

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Text of a heartfelt letter from the worst Victorian boyfriend, with emotional reflections and personal nicknames.

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Letter from worst Victorian boyfriend revealing emotional neglect and sparking conversations about toxic relationship behaviors.

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Text excerpt from letter by worst Victorian boyfriend explaining context of pregnancy in a historical relationship.

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Excerpt of a letter from the worst Victorian boyfriend, sparking reactions about historical relationship behavior.

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Excerpt of a letter showing toxic Victorian boyfriend behavior with manipulative and controlling language toward a woman.

Victorian boyfriend letter demanding liberty and no jealousy, revealing controlling behavior in historic relationship.

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Alt text: Excerpt from letter by worst Victorian boyfriend with women questioning if men have always behaved this way.

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Woman sharing a letter from worst Victorian boyfriend, sparking conversation on how men have always been like this.

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The creator’s video garnered over 397k views

@rosiehharte Is this the WORST Victorian boyfriend? 😨 #history#catherinewalters#victorianera#victorianhistory#historyfacts♬ Tchaikovsky “Dance of the Reed Flutes”(1257471) – kzy

Catherine Walters was one of the most famous courtesans in Victorian London

The “Skitsy” in this story is Catherine Walters, a quite famous courtesan of Victorian London. In fact, she was the last courtesan of that era. Her nickname, Skittles, came from her job, apparently. According to legend, Walters worked in the Black Jack Tavern in Liverpool that had a skittles alley, or, as we call it nowadays, a bowling alley.

Throughout her life, Walters was a mistress to many powerful men. Her first was allegedly Lord Fitzwilliam. MP and diarist Henry Labouchère described Catherine as “the most capricious heart I know and must be the only [woman] in history to retain her heart intact.”

Her affair with Spencer Cavendish, Marquess of Hartington, lasted for four years. He provided Catherine with a Mayfair house and a stable. By that time, Walters was an experienced and established equestrienne.

Many highborn women would go for horse rides in Hyde Park. As creator Rosie Harte notes in another of her videos, they would match their outfits to their carriages. But Catherine was, as Harte puts it, “the Goth Courtesan,” always wearing black. Her outfits were another thing that made her famous. According to historians, her tailors were the famous Henry Poole & Co. on Savile Row.

Yet Walters wasn’t highborn herself. Other sources highlight the fact that she rose to a higher social class than she was born into, indicated by her “docklands vocabulary.” However, as a courtesan, she was able to travel to America and Paris, becoming a member of high society.

Skitsy and Lord Hartington’s breakup was just as entertaining as his letters

So, what happened to Catherine’s and Lord Hartington’s relationship? As Rosie Hart details in another of her videos, they had an outlandishly scandalous and embarrassing breakup. Apparently, Catherine was so in love with Cavendish and wanted to become duchess (he was in line to become the Duke of Devonshire) that she started telling people that he had already proposed.

However, Cavendish was eyeing a career in politics and was, for lack of a better word, looking for a “decent” wife. So, like a real gentleman, he wrote her a breakup letter and sent it as he was going away on a trip to America.

When Catherine found out, she decided to follow him, but she couldn’t go on a transatlantic trip unattended. So, she found a young married man, Aubrey de Vere Beauclerk, and traveled to America as his mistress. When they reached New York, Catherine begged Cavendish multiple times to take her back. Yet, every time, he refused.

The brothers of Beauclerk’s abandoned wife chased him and Catherine to America, and the British press reported on this scandal almost daily. Historians claim that Catherine was so mortified by the whole story that she refused to come back to London and thus traveled to Paris, becoming a lover of financier and political advisor Achille Fould.

Was Cavendish really the worst boyfriend in history? Perhaps, but he, like Catherine, was a product of his time, when status and morality could make or break someone’s prospects.

One commenter revealed “Skitsy’s” fate: “She retired a very rich woman”

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Many women took this story as proof that men “haven’t changed one bit

Comment from Claire noting that having an embarrassing boyfriend was common 160 years ago in Victorian times.

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Comment from user roxy rocks saying four year situationship is crazy with 145 likes on a social media post about worst Victorian boyfriend.

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Comment on social media expressing hope that Skitsy levels up and is adored for life, related to worst Victorian boyfriend topic.

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Comment from Steph questioning if worst Victorian boyfriend behaviors have always existed, with a thoughtful emoji and 5,262 likes.

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Comment from a user named Gallinace asking about Skittsy’s reaction, referencing the worst Victorian boyfriend letter.

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Comment by R.K. Leverton questioning if Dukes of Devonshire have always been absolute cad Victorian boyfriends.

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