Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
38submissions
1week left
37 Corporate Buzzwords And Practices That Workers Wish Would Disappear Forever
Every workplace has its own brand of corporate nonsense. Sometimes it's an inspirational slogan that nobody believes, other times it's a mandatory meeting that could have been an email, or a manager introducing a brand-new process that somehow creates more work than it saves. Add in a healthy dose of buzzwords, forced team-building, and performative positivity, and it's easy to see why so many employees have learned to smile through the absurdity.
While a little workplace structure can help teams stay organized, not every corporate trend deserves a standing ovation. From pointless policies and confusing management decisions to eye-roll-inducing office jargon, some workplace habits seem to exist simply because "that's how we've always done it". When people online were asked to share the most meaningless corporate nonsense they've experienced on the job, they had plenty of stories to tell.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Where to start?
Growth Mindset is rolled out in loads of places, the idea being that you have to be in some degree of discomfort to work at your best. It actively dissuades you from being comfortable in the workplace.
Had a motivational business speaker type come into the large high school I worked in and explain that, because amazon is one of the wealthiest and most successful companies in the world, that all businesses and organisations should be trying to copy their success. We were a school. The management were drooling over all this; the staff were mostly perplexed.
A business is like a cruise ship... A business is like a village... A business is like a football team... A business is like a beehive...
I work for a large corporation and every year they host a big conference to bring all the different parts of the company together. They constantly say: there is no hierarchy in this company! I hopefully don't need to explain why and how that is complete and utter bollocks. It is hardly an anarchist collective: it's a highly stratified pyramid where the CEOs make 30x more than the average employee.
Had a new incoming headteacher say in an address to the school: You're either on my bus or getting run over by it. .
RELATED:
#2
At a FTSE100 company with over 150,000 employees, they rebranded "Health & Safety" to "Safety and Health" to put safety first. They made a whole hullaboo about that and forced everything (paperwork titles, written procedures etc) to follow the changed title.
Roman Arendt 1 hour ago
I just learned that my state recently changed its slogan to "Niedersachsen. Das ist groß." (Lower Saxony. That's big."). Apparently we had another one before that. Never heard of any, the actual one only by chance. Why is that a thing? And of course, like OP mentioned, everything has to be changed now. But unlike OPs example, this is payed directly with taxpayer money... *sigh*
#3
We got a pay rise last month, from minimum wage to just above minimum wage, and just last week were told "you all got a pay rise which means we expect a lot more out of you"... Excuse me.
Corporate nonsense often sticks around because it does more than communicate, it helps shape workplace culture. Leadership and teamwork expert David Burkus explains that office jargon, rituals, and even certain management habits can signal who belongs and who understands the unwritten rules of an organization.
Whether it's using trendy buzzwords, introducing flashy initiatives, or following performative workplace customs, these behaviors can make employees appear aligned with company culture, even when they do little to improve how work actually gets done. Over time, repeating these habits becomes a way of signaling professionalism, regardless of whether they add real value.
#4
CEO email to the team: “We have been reviewing how we can operate more efficiently and sustainably to ensure our long-term future. This has resulted in some redundancies.”
Sent four weeks after some of the people had already left, and everyone knew exactly why.
Same corpo-speak copied and pasted into every comms, including my own redundancy warning, which I’m fighting because it’s a sham. And by “fighting”, I mean trying to squeeze more money out of them before running from this sinking ship.
#5
"If you made a mistake, please don't hide it and own it. We have never fired someone for making a mistake and correcting it."
I am part of the termination email chains and I had to muster all my strength not to start hysterically laughing.
#6
Had a mandatory away day with all the top brass and HR last year, about 100 people
From 9am to 12pm the guy they got in presenting literally had everyone draw a picture on a post it note, then put it on a board
Then he'd pick one and ask the person who did it to explain it
Cue 3 hours of the people in our organisation everybody avoids talking utter bollocks, he didn't even stop any, some went on for 20 mins
I told our chief I was off at dinner as I had a much more enjoyable filling at the dentist to go to
Found out in the afternoon, he did exactly the same again
In time loss terms there was about 20k in wages just for that day in the room.
Many of these behaviors also serve psychological purposes beyond productivity. As Fortune points out, corporate language and workplace practices can help people project competence, soften difficult conversations, or avoid taking clear responsibility. That helps explain why some companies prefer vague announcements, motivational slogans, or lengthy strategic meetings instead of straightforward communication.
Likewise, some managers lean on symbolic gestures, such as announcing "exciting new initiatives" that change very little or introducing unnecessary procedures, to create the impression that meaningful action is being taken without committing to concrete results.
#7
I was working for Keep Britain Tidy (the anti-litter charity) We had a corporate talk by a guy who'd been paragliding in Mongolia.
He spent the first hour talking about how in the first few weeks the weather conditions meant he couldn't paraglide.
Then he talk some more about paragliding stuff for 2 hours. No idea what as I'd switched off.
Turned out he was the brother of one of the higher-ups who wanted to be a motivational speaker.
He motivated a lot of us to fall asleep. He was only timetabled for an hour slot.
#8
I worked for a big company for 15 years, left ten years ago.
I still see ex-colleagues posting on LinkedIn about their strategy away days. Always something about continuous improvement, putting the customer at the heart of everything we do, improving right-first-time, supporting your colleagues, executing with pace, improving knowledge-sharing and teamwork etc etc.
In other words, the same conversations and issues have been doing the rounds for at least a quarter of a century now.
As for bollocks corporate away day nonsense, we had a full day meeting facilitated by an external speaker. We had to bang different coloured sticks that played a different note so we “make our own individual sound yet, collectively, we’re part of a symphony.”
A colleague a few tables over refused to participate and left at the lunchtime break to “go get some real work done.” My hero.
#9
We had a business speaker come in once saying how we should be constantly posting on LinkedIn and hitting key words and daily characters etc etc basically influencer talk.
The ceo walked up after and basically said... ignore that.
It's no surprise, then, that meetings are one of the biggest sources of frustration for employees. According to Deskpass, meetings become ineffective when they're treated as performances of coordination rather than opportunities to make decisions. Without a clear agenda, conversations often drift into abstract discussions, repetitive updates, and carefully worded statements designed to avoid conflict or criticism.
Instead of solving problems, employees may spend more time contributing to the conversation than actually moving projects forward. That tendency doesn't just produce endless corporate buzzwords, it also encourages unnecessary check-ins, performative collaboration, status updates that could have been emails, and workplace routines that consume valuable time while accomplishing very little.
#10
“And this survey shows that people come to work for job satisfaction above everything else” - HR graduate scheme idiot.
“Are those people paying their mortgage with job satisfaction?” - my colleague Pete.
#11
My company was bought out by a much larger American company shortly before I joined.
They were pretty hands-off at first, but the Americanisms and corporate b******t are slowly creeping in.
A while ago we made a group of people redundant. Our president stood up for us and said that he didn’t agree with such a shortsighted decision made simply to appease the shareholders in the short term. Our CEO fired him.
This was the same year that they completely removed our bonus scheme and froze any pay rises.
The company then paid an external consultant thousands to fly to the UK and give us a talk about resilience during tough times.
In the next town hall meeting all of the SLT were patting themselves on the back for a job well done and our CEO kept making lots of analogies that allowed him to talk about his yacht.
The whole bunch of them are in a completely different reality to the rest of us, and if they start with that chanting nonsense I’m torching the building.
#12
Our big boss told us they "got goosebumps" when they heard where the company was going. Said it with the manic enthusiasm that someone within Scientology would have. Everyone started using that clapping reaction on Teams.
I turned my volume down to just about audible and booted up a video game on my TV because listening to that drivel for any longer would have made me physically sick.
Of course, not every company policy or piece of business terminology deserves criticism. NeuroLeadership notes that effective workplace communication is clear, specific, and helps people make better decisions faster. Likewise, useful processes, meetings, and technical language exist because they solve real problems and keep teams aligned.
The issue arises when organizations replace practical solutions with empty gestures, overly complicated procedures, or language that sounds impressive without offering clarity. Employees tend to recognize the difference quickly, which is why so many examples of corporate nonsense resonate with anyone who's spent time in an office.
#13
So my first job in a corporate environment was back in 2006. A once popular and now highly controversial software company who have been quite prominent in the news over the last few years…
Hidden away on the intranet someone managed to find the *company* rap song. Not even kidding. One of the trainers had recorded a full 3 minute rap song about the company and its core values, and had uploaded it there. I’m not sure if it was ever officially used, but it exists and it was the worst thing to happen to rap probably ever. Probably the second worst thing that happened to that particular company I reckon.
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
🎶🎵 "You asked for a raise / But we refused to fund it / Our future plan / Will make you all redundant / ..." 🎵🎶
#14
I sat in a meeting room with a hired ‘expert’ who told me “I said to the CEO that we need to sell the sizzle not the sausage.”
“What does that mean” I asked him.
“You know, sell the sizzle, not the sausage”
“Yeah but what does you mean by that?”
He didn’t know.
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
Getting paid to advise "Sell the sizzle not the sausage" is in fact an excellent example of selling the sizzle not the sausage
#15
“Let me dispel a myth, just because you’re successful, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to sleep at night”.
Not every workplace tradition or company policy is inherently bad. Clear communication, effective leadership, and well-designed processes can make employees feel supported and help teams work more efficiently. The problem begins when appearances take priority over results, whether that's through endless meetings, unnecessary rules, or corporate initiatives that generate more frustration than progress.
The stories above are a reminder that employees tend to notice the difference between practices that genuinely improve the workplace and those that simply create extra work or sound good on paper. Which example felt the most familiar to you? Or have you experienced an even bigger piece of corporate nonsense at work? Share your story in the comments, we'd love to hear it!
#16
"We'll take this conversation offline". We were in the office, in an in-person meeting.
"We'll discuss this in your next 121." They are frequently cancelled last minute.
#17
"We are an equal opportunity business." - they forget to mention that some are more equal than others.
#18
Three words. Anonymous employee survey.
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
The teaching staff where I worked were given an "anonymous" survey about the principal (after he had avoided it for years). After he received it, he glared at me for a week.
#19
I overheard someone in the office saying “we still haven’t got our complete bottom up viewpoint to smash into our top down view”.
#20
“It’s balls in the drawers time.” Kiwi, who won UK Consultant of the year that year, as a way of motivating us.
#21
In response to 'is anyone going to lose their job?' asked at a town hall
"Some colleagues may be re-vectored"
F**k off with that shite.
#22
My friend worked for an oil company and they had to listen to a rendition of "We are the world" but all the lyrics were changed to be about working for the company. It was studio recorded too.
#23
**Faith. Family. Fitness. Finance.**
As you can tell, this was America. I was in a sales job. One month I didn’t meet my sales quota, and in true American corporate style, this was brought up at the sales meeting in front of everyone. My response was I was too busy at church, taking care of my family and spending time at the gym. It wasn’t appreciated. They also knew I was an atheist.
#24
I had a supervisor tell me, d**d serious "I don't mind people using initiative just make sure you ask me first".
#25
Once a year we have a hippy come in a 'train' us on how to be nicer to patients.
It's a week long course, every single year.
And every time it's the moron just basically saying peace and love for 5 days in a row. And they pay him an absolute fortune.
#26
I work in the publishing industry and I have a theory that once you get to a certain level of management you're forbidden from saying the word 'book' and have to come up with increasingly creative ways to get around it.
#27
Nothing beats the utter wankers that turned up at the Post Office and renamed it Consignia. We pissed ourselves for days, laughed at the paper weight we were sent to commemorate it and laughed even louder when they had to backtrack. Think it was KPMG who recommended it, can’t remember as laughed too much.
#29
I worked in Japan and the glazing of bosses and the company at the place I worked there was on another level.
The boss would have his subordinates give speeches comparing him to George Washington, Einstein etc. He had a book we all had to read about his personal philosophy, translated into English for the benefit of the expat staff. The mottos were "Speed and Quality" (we never managed the second of these) and "Feel The Heart Of The Client".
Predictably it was an absolutely nightmarish place to work, with regular loud firings and physical/verbal a***e of staff. This was a law firm BTW.
Every other firm I've ever worked for since seems great by comparison, so I can recommend it for that at least.
#30
Where I work, they spend a lot of money on a glossy colour monthly “magazine” and send it to everyone’s home address and work place. It just talks about people literally doing the very bare minimum in their jobs, like they’ve just cured world hunger. The fact they’re slashing costs across the company and still have this going, is ridiculous to be honest.
#31
I once contracted for a startup company where the owner was a friend of Chris Eubank.
He visited one time and delivered a motivational poem to us at our desks in a tiny little backroom office. I can't remember anything about it except that I was sat very close to where he was standing and I was desperately holding in my laughter. All I could think about was not laughing in Chris Eubank's face at his poetry and getting punched.
#32
I used to work for a global ad agency that hired motivational speakers regularly. One time it was a guy in New York - over Zoom - talking to us about how 'DEI is our company's superpower.' One of his big talking points was that the word 'guys' excludes women, and that in future, if we walked into a mixed-s*x meeting, we should say "Hey, Guys and Gals!" No-one had the heart to tell him that was the catchphrase of the UK's most notorious nonce, but the horrified expressions on all those screens will live with me forever.
#33
I work at a multinational company that is privately owned by a family, they often say its good there are no shareholders (public) to please so it takes the pressure off. Then on team days they tell us we need to generate value for this family. Do I? Do I really? Why should I? Are they saving people's lives or something? S***w that for a piece of gaslighting. I'm not being the thunder to some rich blokes lightning.
#34
I worked for a large multinational and one of the leaders in a division related to mine used to encourage his sales and relationship managers to "**hold the tension**".
No-one understood what he meant and just carried on, until he came in on a meeting with a client that was really unhappy. He just ignored their valid criticisms, afterwards explaining that this was "holding the tension". The million pound client walked, as did others he treated that way.
#35
I gave a motivational (?) talk on values following the sudden d***h of my brother which ended with ‘you are completely replaceable at work, you are not replaceable at home’ . I am pretty sure I caused the resignation of at least 1 staff member!
#36
I worked for Lehman Brothers in the early 2000s. D**k Fuld used to come over to London once a year to address us all at the Barbican.
One year he wanted us out of business casual clothes and back into full business attire.
"It's a war out there and I want us dressed for battle."
That went well then.
#37
We're here for world class service and fair staff treatment
That was British gas/centrica ceo last year
This year, we are making 30% of staff redundant, because people use AI tools and are "self serving" via the app/website...
Meaning both statements prior were lies .
#38
Weekly team huddles lasting 45 to 60 minutes, with maybe 8 minutes of important systems information and the rest of the time spent giving the same spiel (every single week) about how far behind we are and how we need to stop wasting time.
Add Your Answer! This post is a community curated
Add Your Answer!
What do you think ?
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
Also "stretch goals", meaning "Yes, we're asking the impossible, and that's your fault."
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
Also "stretch goals", meaning "Yes, we're asking the impossible, and that's your fault."
Related on Bored Panda
