“I Just Lost It”: Woodworker Of 8 Years Takes It Out On Sexist Client After He Questioned Her Professionalism
Imagine that you come to a client to do your usual work, and he not only breathes down your neck, but also makes doubtful jokes about how he could do it better than you, and in general jokes that you are not a real worker. Does it feel unpleasant? Sure! But many women, in fact, often face such troubles.
It would seem that as the third decade of the 21st century is already underway, women of literally any profession should not surprise anyone – but still, there are stubborn sexists who are sure that jobs are still divided into “male” and “female”, and that a woman allegedly cannot cope with “male” work.
The author of this post in the AITA Reddit community had to face such a problem at her work, and the post itself scored almost 12.5K upvotes and already over 850 different comments. Yes, if half a century ago, such a development could be predicted, now it looks completely weird.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster has been working in her stepdad’s carpentry workshop since she was twelve
Image source: Michael Coghlan (not the actual photo)
So, the Original Poster has worked in her stepdad’s carpentry workshop literally since her childhood. At the age of 12, the girl began to help her stepdad, at about 15 she started woodworking herself, and now she is 20 and she regularly performs various orders. The OP likes her work and has already reached a certain degree of mastery.
Image source: P4ndaTheCrayonEater
One day the OP came to the client’s home to mend his balcony fence
One fine day, the girl came to the client’s home, where she needed to change the fence on the balcony. Literally from the doorway, the elderly client met her with some doubts, and asked if someone else would come later. The OP replied that she was an experienced craftsman and set to work.
Image source: P4ndaTheCrayonEater
The client turned out to be a sexist and made several unpleasant remarks while the OP was working
Throughout the work process, the homeowner constantly breathed down her neck, letting out various malicious comments. The girl tried to defuse the situation by sarcastically saying that, of course, it was not easy for her to manage measuring tape and a drill, but that seemed to be a mistake, as the client was sold in earnest. He asked if the OP had measured everything properly, and if she would do all the planks. The woodworker told him that she probably would.
Image source: P4ndaTheCrayonEater
The next day, the OP brought in the finished planks, which the client inspected with apparent disapproval, although they were perfect in both size and quality. She periodically asked the client to help her – for instance, to hold something, and he apparently took this as “a sign of weakness.”
Image source: P4ndaTheCrayonEater
When the OP finished her work, the client told her that a “normal” woodworker would have done it much faster
Finally, everything was ready – and everything was in perfect order. The client then muttered something along the lines of “a ‘normal’ woodworker would do it much faster”. The OP was indignant and reminded him that he was there the whole time and, frankly, interfered. After that, already in the heat of the moment, she asked why, if he didn’t like that she was a woman, didn’t he fix this very fence himself?
Image source: P4ndaTheCrayonEater
The OP got into an argument with the customer and then wondered if she behaved unprofessionally
As the OP admits, the client told her the good old “respect elders” and “don’t raise voice on customers” to this, but the girl didn’t care anymore. However, when she calmed down, she still began to wonder if she had acted unprofessionally by entering a quarrel with a client.
Image source: Coconino National Forest, Ariz. (not the actual photo)
People in the comments backed the OP up, almost unanimously stating that the client was absolutely wrong
Most commenters, however, dispelled her doubts, arguing that the client was one hundred percent wrong. Moreover, many women in the comments also began to recall similar cases that had happened to them. As it turns out, such stories, alas, are not uncommon even today.
Probably the most witty piece of advice people in the comments gave was not to the OP herself, but to her stepdad. Someone remembered that when they had to repair a refrigerator, it was written in the terms of the repair that, for safety reasons, the client was not recommended to come closer than 15 feet to the fridge. Perhaps the OP’s stepfather should have implemented the same rules for his own workshop…!
And now we would like to know your opinion about this situation. You probably have also had a similar unpleasant story, and then, undoubtedly, it will be useful to know how it all ended in your own case. As usual, comments are most welcome.
41Kviews
Share on FacebookLone tradeswoman here in a sea of men. I agree that the hardest part of the job is the misogyny! Note to the author: this is a 20 year old WOMAN and not a “girl”. Semantics, maybe…but this is an article about misogyny and respect. I highly doubt you’d refer to a 20y/o male as a “boy”. Food for thought.
My twin sister & I worked along side my dad doing plumbing for awhile & you wouldn't believe the amount of dirty looks & dehumanizing comments we got from people thinking we were just lying to come into their home or place of business. I loved telling them if they didn't let us in the subcontract would be invalid. Times have changed there's no place for this in the world anymore. Women are just as capable as men are anymore. I love proving the naysayers wrong on a regular basis. I always say tell me I can't do something & watch me prove u wrong. 💪😏
NTA. Blatant sexism is bad enough but then playing the "Respect your elders" card??? I have been put in my place by men and women younger than me before and I have done the same to men and women older than me as well, and I'd do both all over again if I have to. The point is: if the lady (whatever age) knows her stuff, mouth shut, eyes and ears open. Don't do both and play the sexist and elders card along the way: be prepared to get put in your place because someone will.
Worked in male dominated environments my entire career (heavy engineering) and ye gods the sheer amount of times men have said that I do of stuff is overwhelming. I’ve also got the ‘see, women are too hormonal and emotional to do these jobs’ response from a guy who was so red faced in anger that his veins were standing out. Sorry…who’s emotional?
I worked in a male dominated job in the 90's. I have to say, most people treated me well. Construction workers spent a few minutes looking worried about a little girl turning up with the instructions, but on the whole they were more interested in getting on with the job, and I knew my job well or I would not have been there. Biggest problem I had was a woman who seemed angry I was not facing the sexism she had received 15 years previously. She insisted on calling me the tea girl and addressed all questions to male colleagues even when they clearly had to ask me then repeat to her in front of her (they also did this for fun even when they knew answer)
I’m an insurance adjuster. I feel for her. I have no idea how many times I have been talked down to, been told I’m not qualified, or flat out told that men are better at my job, but you know what? I put on my best smile, and ask them to explain their rude comment they end up stuttering and spitting complete nonsense to the point of embarrassment. The worst offenders are sadly other women, generally in the 55-65 year old range. The older ladies like having someone not talking down to them when explaining things, and the younger women don’t bat an eye. You other ladies in male dominated fields, your just as good if not better than your male counterparts, because you had to work twice as hard to get to your position in those fields. I see you!
"You need to learn to treat your elder's with respect." This guy needs to learn that if he wants respect that he has to earn it. Respect is not something that should immediately be given to someone just because they're older.
NTA. I had something similar happen to me when a customer ordered a camera during the 2011 camera shortage cause of the earthquake/tsunami in Japan. I told him we didn’t have it in stock it was on back order. For some reason he didn’t believe me. He asked to speak to a manager, I pointed to the manager who was also female. He sighed and said can I speak to a male manager. Im like he’s on lunch, you can either speak to the female one or you can wait an hour and speak to the male one, up to you, but just so you know female one is the big boss and male manager is just her assistant. At this he sighed again and went to speak to the store manager who was female and told him the same exact thing I did. Idiot. Not the first time this has happened to me but every time it does I go out of my way to make that person feel stupid. 😊
I love when these idiots get the *sshole tax. I doubt any of these people realize that they get nothing more than more frustration out of being such mean people, but it makes it a nice read.
My sister, being Betty Badass (high belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, studies boxing, and just generally all-around formidable), means I don't EVER underestimate women. I'm 6'3" tall, 275lbs, and built like a Sherman Tank, but I wouldn't firetruck with my sister. She'd kick my sorry a*s into next week and not even break a sweat.
I don't think we will ever live in a reality where s**t like this doesn't happen.
Lone tradeswoman here in a sea of men. I agree that the hardest part of the job is the misogyny! Note to the author: this is a 20 year old WOMAN and not a “girl”. Semantics, maybe…but this is an article about misogyny and respect. I highly doubt you’d refer to a 20y/o male as a “boy”. Food for thought.
My twin sister & I worked along side my dad doing plumbing for awhile & you wouldn't believe the amount of dirty looks & dehumanizing comments we got from people thinking we were just lying to come into their home or place of business. I loved telling them if they didn't let us in the subcontract would be invalid. Times have changed there's no place for this in the world anymore. Women are just as capable as men are anymore. I love proving the naysayers wrong on a regular basis. I always say tell me I can't do something & watch me prove u wrong. 💪😏
NTA. Blatant sexism is bad enough but then playing the "Respect your elders" card??? I have been put in my place by men and women younger than me before and I have done the same to men and women older than me as well, and I'd do both all over again if I have to. The point is: if the lady (whatever age) knows her stuff, mouth shut, eyes and ears open. Don't do both and play the sexist and elders card along the way: be prepared to get put in your place because someone will.
Worked in male dominated environments my entire career (heavy engineering) and ye gods the sheer amount of times men have said that I do of stuff is overwhelming. I’ve also got the ‘see, women are too hormonal and emotional to do these jobs’ response from a guy who was so red faced in anger that his veins were standing out. Sorry…who’s emotional?
I worked in a male dominated job in the 90's. I have to say, most people treated me well. Construction workers spent a few minutes looking worried about a little girl turning up with the instructions, but on the whole they were more interested in getting on with the job, and I knew my job well or I would not have been there. Biggest problem I had was a woman who seemed angry I was not facing the sexism she had received 15 years previously. She insisted on calling me the tea girl and addressed all questions to male colleagues even when they clearly had to ask me then repeat to her in front of her (they also did this for fun even when they knew answer)
I’m an insurance adjuster. I feel for her. I have no idea how many times I have been talked down to, been told I’m not qualified, or flat out told that men are better at my job, but you know what? I put on my best smile, and ask them to explain their rude comment they end up stuttering and spitting complete nonsense to the point of embarrassment. The worst offenders are sadly other women, generally in the 55-65 year old range. The older ladies like having someone not talking down to them when explaining things, and the younger women don’t bat an eye. You other ladies in male dominated fields, your just as good if not better than your male counterparts, because you had to work twice as hard to get to your position in those fields. I see you!
"You need to learn to treat your elder's with respect." This guy needs to learn that if he wants respect that he has to earn it. Respect is not something that should immediately be given to someone just because they're older.
NTA. I had something similar happen to me when a customer ordered a camera during the 2011 camera shortage cause of the earthquake/tsunami in Japan. I told him we didn’t have it in stock it was on back order. For some reason he didn’t believe me. He asked to speak to a manager, I pointed to the manager who was also female. He sighed and said can I speak to a male manager. Im like he’s on lunch, you can either speak to the female one or you can wait an hour and speak to the male one, up to you, but just so you know female one is the big boss and male manager is just her assistant. At this he sighed again and went to speak to the store manager who was female and told him the same exact thing I did. Idiot. Not the first time this has happened to me but every time it does I go out of my way to make that person feel stupid. 😊
I love when these idiots get the *sshole tax. I doubt any of these people realize that they get nothing more than more frustration out of being such mean people, but it makes it a nice read.
My sister, being Betty Badass (high belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, studies boxing, and just generally all-around formidable), means I don't EVER underestimate women. I'm 6'3" tall, 275lbs, and built like a Sherman Tank, but I wouldn't firetruck with my sister. She'd kick my sorry a*s into next week and not even break a sweat.
I don't think we will ever live in a reality where s**t like this doesn't happen.
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