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Woman Gets Married To Appease Homophobic Parents, The Marriage Takes An Unexpected Turn 10 Years In
Many people are forced to conceal their true selves out of fear of their parents. While it may be a workable setup for a good number of years, it will only be a matter of time before this person says enough is enough and stands up for themselves.
A woman was in this situation when she had to marry a childhood friend to hide her romantic orientation from her strict religious parents. However, things took a chaotic turn, leading to the dissolution of the marriage.
Fed up with living a lie, she finally decided to come clean, even with the risk of cutting precious family ties.
RELATED:
Many people live a lie out of fear of being disowned by their families
Image credits: namii9 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
A woman was forced to get married because her strict, religious parents could not accept her for her romantic orientation and preference
Image credits: Ali Esfehaniyan / Magnific (not the actual photo)
But after her spouse came out as transgender, things became much more complicated
Image credits: Fa Barboza / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She now wants a divorce, but fears more backlash from her family
Image credits: FatTadpoles
Overcontrolling parents can negatively affect their child’s emotional well-being
For the most part, strict parents only want the best for their children. But whether that is true or not, their controlling ways are believed to have negative effects on their kids’ emotional well-being.
This is according to a study by the American Psychological Association, specifically revealing that people who grew up with overbearing parents are less able to deal with the challenges of going through adulthood.
“Children who cannot regulate their emotions and behavior effectively are more likely to act out in the classroom, to have a harder time making friends and to struggle in school,” says Dr. Nicole Perry, a Human Ecology professor at the University of Texas at Austin and lead author of the study.
In the study, Dr. Perry observed that children who experienced helicopter parenting were defiant, apathetic, or frustrated in response to instructions.
Adult children are no longer under the guidance of their parents. And according to licensed professional counselor and psychotherapist Andrea Mathews, this also means they have the choice of how much they are going to tolerate.
“Remember that your life belongs to you and it is your responsibility to take good care of that life,” Mathews wrote. “Boundaries are not unkind—they are just more authentic than the old unhealthy patterns.”
It’s a good thing that the author finally decided what was best for her, even with the risk of being disowned by her parents. Ultimately, it is her life to lead, and she deserves happiness and peace.
Many commenters thought she was in the wrong, while a few sided with her
The author shared an update, essentially saying she was tired of living a lie
Image credits: Jonas Leupe / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She already has plans moving forward, assuming things get chaotic with her parents
Image credits: FatTadpoles
A few readers changed their tune about the author, as they expressed delight with how the story turned out
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What do you think ?
Binky Melnik 5 hours ago
This is the first time I can remember reading a post that, by the end of it, I had NO CLUE how to untangle it so that it was fair to everyone. I think it was the … adamancy? I know that’s not a word, but it conveys what I need to convey … about her parents, who are the genesis of the problem. If not for them, all of the problems which cascaded from their extreme stances wouldn’t wouldn’t have existed. Yeh, sure, my initial solution was “Eff the parents! They’re causing this, so remove them from the equation!” except that OP felt that was off the table because she was terrified of their potential reaction, and she loves them and her sister and wasn’t willing to forgo them in her life, so it all seemed so intractable. But once she came around and realized that without them, there ARE no problems, I let go of the lungful of air I was subconsciously holding in, and am now as delighted as I can be! I’m happiest for the GF, who’s no longer a shameful secret.
Binky Melnik 5 hours ago
How she managed to stay in this wretched situation as long as she did is beyond me. I think she, more than the others, benefits most from the parents being crossed out of the equation, as she no longer has to remember which lies to tell and when! Makes me think OP’s some kinda amazing person, otherwise why would sooo many people go through such hateful and insane gyrations just to hide her secret? (I like OP least of all if we don’t count the parents, as she’s the the center of the wheel around which the spokes revolve, and so her kowtowing to her hateful parents have caused this unholy mess!) I’m so, SOOO happy she’s come around and realized her parents ought NOT be in her life; letting go of them will benefit a huge number of people, and I wish she hadn’t used a throwaway to post so we could see how it’s all shaken out! I hope everyone’s still happy no matter how things are today, as they deserve some happiness after a decade of misery!
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Binky Melnik 5 hours ago
This is the first time I can remember reading a post that, by the end of it, I had NO CLUE how to untangle it so that it was fair to everyone. I think it was the … adamancy? I know that’s not a word, but it conveys what I need to convey … about her parents, who are the genesis of the problem. If not for them, all of the problems which cascaded from their extreme stances wouldn’t wouldn’t have existed. Yeh, sure, my initial solution was “Eff the parents! They’re causing this, so remove them from the equation!” except that OP felt that was off the table because she was terrified of their potential reaction, and she loves them and her sister and wasn’t willing to forgo them in her life, so it all seemed so intractable. But once she came around and realized that without them, there ARE no problems, I let go of the lungful of air I was subconsciously holding in, and am now as delighted as I can be! I’m happiest for the GF, who’s no longer a shameful secret.
Binky Melnik 5 hours ago
How she managed to stay in this wretched situation as long as she did is beyond me. I think she, more than the others, benefits most from the parents being crossed out of the equation, as she no longer has to remember which lies to tell and when! Makes me think OP’s some kinda amazing person, otherwise why would sooo many people go through such hateful and insane gyrations just to hide her secret? (I like OP least of all if we don’t count the parents, as she’s the the center of the wheel around which the spokes revolve, and so her kowtowing to her hateful parents have caused this unholy mess!) I’m so, SOOO happy she’s come around and realized her parents ought NOT be in her life; letting go of them will benefit a huge number of people, and I wish she hadn’t used a throwaway to post so we could see how it’s all shaken out! I hope everyone’s still happy no matter how things are today, as they deserve some happiness after a decade of misery!
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