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When it comes to weddings, the stars of the show are generally the bride and groom. It is their big day afterall. But what happens when someone else tries to insert themselves into the planning and the actual event?
Ask one woman, who says not only did she have big drama in the run-up to her wedding but also had her once-in-a-lifetime wedding photos ruined. For some bizarre reason, her mother-in-law refused to allow the bride and groom to have a photo taken together alone. She rocked up in white and photobombed their pics, despite being asked not to. What transpired next was more than just a heated argument. The saga could spell the end of the entire marriage.
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It was meant to be one of the happiest days of their life together…
Bride and groom standing together while a photographer captures wedding photos in an elegant room with red walls.
Why so many mother-in-laws cause wedding drama, according to the experts
Weddings are stressful enough to plan without the added drama of an interfering mother-in-law. Often, they mean well and even the kindest, most loving MIL can throw a spanner in the works. But experts say that if you’re prepared, and know how to handle things, you’ll be able to save yourself a lot of headaches – and avoid conflict.
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According to Brides.com, conflicts between those getting married and their mothers-in-law are extremely common, especially in the early stages of wedding planning. The key is to develop healthy communication patterns with your MIL early on.
“If you feel that you are in a relationship with someone that you see yourself marrying, it’s important to invest time in that relationship with their parents,” explains Lauren Mollica, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “The wedding planning process is just an example of overcoming stress or an obstacle together, and when you are married to someone there will be bigger things that you will have to come together to tackle. Developing a relationship where sharing feelings is normalized sets really great groundwork.”
The experts say that often, wedding drama has nothing to do with the seating arrangement, color of the flowers, cost of the caterers or other practicalities. Instead, there are deeper issues at play like emotional insecurities, transitions, and family history.
“Historically, this can be a pivotal time where there might be clashes between how a [person] was raised, family traditions, and moving towards acceptance from the mother-in-law that her [child] will be creating [their] own traditions and priorities,” Mollica told Brides.com.
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She adds that it’s a big moment of reflection when it comes to new family boundaries that are being created. This is sometimes scary to handle. “The bride [or groom] is also coming in with their own traditions and values; it creates this dance of fear and defensiveness that can get really ugly,” the expert said.
Of course, your future spouse’s relationship with their mother can also play a role.
“Weddings can bring up a host of emotional issues for families,” says licensed psychotherapist, Dr. Akua K. Boateng. “Unmet dreams and failed expectations can be the source of conflict. It is a parent’s attempt to navigate their relevance within the child’s life as they reckon with the potential loss of connection and dependence.”
When it comes to mothers-in-law who try to take over all the planning, Mollica believes their behavior is rooted in anxiety. They want their child’s big day to be perfect.
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Whatever your MIL might be throwing at you in the run-up to your wedding, the secret lies in communication, setting boundaries and having some compassion.
Older woman with glasses thoughtfully resting her face on her hand, reflecting on wedding dress controversy with bride and son.
Many supported the woman but some felt she had been warned
Reddit conversation discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress at her son's wedding and bride's reaction.
Comment on Reddit discussing MIL deciding to wear a white dress to son's wedding and bride's reaction.
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Comment discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress at son's wedding and the bride’s reaction to photos.
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Text post from Reddit discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress to her son's wedding causing conflict with the bride.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a mother-in-law's decision to wear a white dress for son's wedding and bride's reaction.
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Comment discussing a mother-in-law deciding to wear a white dress to her son's wedding and causing tension with the bride.
Comment on a forum discussing MIL deciding to wear white to son's wedding and bride's reaction to photos.
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Comment discussing MIL wearing a white dress to a son's wedding and bride’s reaction to photos with her.
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Comment on MIL deciding on a white dress for son's wedding and bride's reaction to photo exclusion.
Comment discussing MIL deciding to wear a white dress to son's wedding, shocking bride who excludes her from photos.
Commenter explains why wearing white at a son's wedding upset the bride and caused family photo conflicts.
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Comment saying the situation is unfortunate unless the husband stands up, implying a difficult future for the family.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment saying "NTA. You in trouble, girl," related to a MIL choosing a white dress for son's wedding.
Text post from an online forum discussing a mother-in-law wearing white to her son's wedding and bride's reaction to photos.
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Reddit comment criticizing a marriage where the mother-in-law insists on wearing a white dress to her son's wedding.
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Comment discussing dramatic conflict between MIL choosing a white dress for son's wedding and bride rejecting her in photos.
MIL decides to wear a white dress to son's wedding, shocking bride who refuses to include her in photos.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress at her son’s wedding and bride’s reaction.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress to her son’s wedding and causing tension.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing MIL wearing a white dress and issues with wedding photos boundaries.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a son's wedding photo issue involving the bride and mother-in-law's white dress.
Comment advising on a mother-in-law wearing a white dress at son's wedding and the bride’s reaction to photos.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress to her son's wedding causing tension with the bride.
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Comment discussing concerns about wedding photography and the lack of formal portraits of the couple.
Comment discussing a mother-in-law deciding to wear a white dress to her son's wedding and causing conflict with the bride.
Screenshot of a comment discussing MIL choosing a white dress for son's wedding and bride refusing photos.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress to her son’s wedding causing conflict.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing a mother-in-law choosing a white dress for her son's wedding and the bride's reaction.
Comment discussing a mother-in-law upset over bride not wanting her in wedding photos wearing a white dress.
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Comment about a mother-in-law deciding to wear a white dress to her son's wedding and causing upset with the bride.
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Text comment on a forum discussing a mother-in-law insisting on wearing a white dress to her son's wedding and the bride's reaction.
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Commenter advises walking away from a toxic MIL who insists on wearing a white dress to son's wedding.
Comment discussing disbelief about a wedding photographer capturing only one photo of the couple on their special day.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress to her son's wedding and the bride’s reaction.
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Comment on a forum discussing a mother-in-law deciding to wear a white dress for her son's wedding, causing conflict with the bride.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a mother-in-law choosing a white dress for son's wedding and bride's reaction.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress to her son's wedding and bride’s reaction.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing a mother-in-law wearing a white dress at her son's wedding and bride’s reaction.
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Screenshot of an online comment accusing a mother-in-law of inappropriate behavior over wearing a white dress to son's wedding.
Comment criticizing a mother-in-law wearing white to her son's wedding and demanding to be in photos.
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Comment discussing a mother-in-law deciding on a white dress for son's wedding and bride's reaction to photos.
“Treat yourself better”: some believed that everyone, including the wife, could do better
Text post discussing MIL deciding to wear a white dress for son's wedding, causing bride's photo objections.
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Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."
Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."
I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.
I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.
The more of these stories I read, the more I know I deserve the MIL of the Millennium Award. I take meals to my son and his wife, drop off and pick up their pets from Vet visits, dog sit and make a daily run to their house to feed and clean the litter box for their cats in needed, fold laundry if asked, do light housework if asked, and more. These creepy, controlling, and intrusive MIL's are disgusting.
The more of these stories I read, the more I know I deserve the MIL of the Millennium Award. I take meals to my son and his wife, drop off and pick up their pets from Vet visits, dog sit and make a daily run to their house to feed and clean the litter box for their cats in needed, fold laundry if asked, do light housework if asked, and more. These creepy, controlling, and intrusive MIL's are disgusting.
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