“Kitsch And Tacky”: Woman Refuses To Buy $1,900 Painting She Never Asked For, Drama Ensues
Interview With ExpertWe all love our families, but let’s be real—sometimes, you just want to say a firm no without feeling guilty. Maybe it’s skipping a family lunch, dodging an over-the-top birthday party, or, in some cases, refusing to buy something you never asked for. Most of the time, people take the hint, but other times, things can get messy.
For instance, a woman shared how her sister-in-law, an aspiring artist, painted a surprise portrait of her family and then expected them to buy it as a wedding gift. The author felt pressured into paying for something she never asked for, didn’t like, and didn’t want. Now, tensions are rising in the family, and she’s wondering if she’s being unreasonable. Keep reading to see what people think!
Turning a passion into a full-time career or profession comes with its fair share of challenges
Image credits: Wesley Tingey / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how her artist sister-in-law expected her family to buy an expensive painting as a wedding gift for her son
Image credits: Nicole Michalou / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Thirdman / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: tacky-art-help
The author provided more details about the painting and why she felt uncomfortable purchasing it
Image credits: Dan Llywelyn Hall / CBS
Artists invest countless hours of unpaid practice and effort to refine their skills and reach a professional level
Like any profession, being an artist comes with its own highs and lows. Sure, once you’re an established name, you might start making good money, but getting to that point is no easy feat. It takes years of practice, patience, and persistence to build a reputation and attract buyers. Many artists struggle with inconsistent income, exposure, and finding the right audience for their work. Unlike a traditional job, where paychecks are predictable, art is a career full of uncertainty and constant hustle.
It’s a competitive space, and making a name for yourself takes more than just talent—it requires marketing, networking, and a bit of luck. Some rely on social media to showcase their art, while others spend years trying to get their work into galleries. It’s a tough world where passion alone isn’t enough, and artists often have to find other ways to support themselves while chasing their dreams.
To understand the challenges artists face, we spoke with Amey Pirankar, an artist and art teacher. With years of experience in creating and teaching art, he shared his insights into what it takes to succeed in the field. From honing skills to setting fair prices, Amey explained how artists must constantly balance their passion with the business side of art.
Amey, who specializes in portrait sketching, pointed out, “It takes years of practice to get the perfect stroke. Every great artist you see today has spent thousands of hours refining their craft before they could sell their work.” He emphasized that true mastery doesn’t happen overnight—it’s built on dedication, experimentation, and learning from mistakes.
“Artists spend a lot of unpaid time perfecting their skills, and that’s why the prices reflect that,” Amey added. “When people look at a painting, they only see the final product. What they don’t see is the years of learning, the failed attempts, and the hours spent on every tiny detail. That’s why good art isn’t cheap, it represents a lifetime of effort and expertise.”
Image credits: olia danilevich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Building a strong reputation in the art world requires dedication, persistence, and continuous hard work
“Initially, when I started out, I did art for free for family and friends,” Amey shared. “Since my work was good, word started spreading, and people began placing orders. That’s how I built my reputation. But it was important for me to transition from free work to paid work, otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to sustain myself as a full-time artist.”
“Here’s the thing,” Amey continued, “in this profession, you can’t rely on your loved ones to build your career. Sure, they can support you if they want, but they shouldn’t feel pressured into buying your work. An artist needs real customers who appreciate their art.”
“On the flip side, family and friends might expect artists to do things for free,” Amey pointed out. “It’s a tricky balance. You want to share your work with loved ones, but you also need to be fairly compensated. People wouldn’t expect a lawyer to give free legal advice all the time, so why should artists be any different?”
“Being an artist is like any other profession, and we need to be fairly compensated for our skills,” Amey concluded. “Art isn’t just about creativity, it’s about time, effort, and expertise. People sometimes forget that artists need to pay bills, buy materials, and sustain themselves, just like everyone else.”
In this particular case, the author’s sister-in-law surprised them with a painting and expected them to pay for it. While supporting a family member’s passion is great, it’s unfair and unprofessional to assume they’re obligated to buy something they never asked for. What do you think? Should families be expected to purchase an artist’s work, or should the artist focus on finding real buyers?
Many people online sided with the author, calling her sister-in-law’s actions highly unprofessional
Some, however, believed she should buy the portrait to support family and keep the peace
Poll Question
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I hate to admit it, but I would tell a version of the truth, "I'm sorry Susanne, but that's just really not our style. I would prefer to pick my own artwork, but thank you for the thought". If she persisted, I think I would take her aside and just say that it is highly inappropriate to create an art piece that no one commissioned and then expect them to purchase it. But at 62 y/o I don't really give a sh*t if people get offended when I stand up for myself.
And SIL is offering it for $1,900 for them to buy as a wedding gift when there are a lot of wedding expenses coming up and more practical gifts for a newly married couple. And SIL doesn’t even consider giving it as a gift herself to her nephew. It feels like SIL is one of those MLM women who see every relationship as an opportunity to extort money.
Load More Replies...I've stated it before, "keeping the peace" has never once kept the peace
Keeping the peace is basically allowing yourself to be a doormat.
Load More Replies...I agree with the comments that say if OP + hubs buy *this* piece, SIL will paint *more* stuff for them to buy! I'd tell BIL: "Unless she's turned into Monet or Picasso (or whichever artists they like), we won't be buying her paintings."
You know, being an aspiring artist is just where that will take you. An aspiring artist. If Susanne wants to be a professional artist she needs to take some lessons, or spend time, and, yes, her own money on the materials and practice, practice, practice while learning who she is and the type of artist she feels drawn to being. Charging thousands for her amateur paintings is up to her, but that's not realistically what professionals are charging. I made that mistake, except to a family member requesting a couple paintings from me, and have them shipped to her. I did charge a grand, and it did take me a couple months. I gave her updates to how things were coming along. She really liked the turn out, but never asked me to commission another piece for her since then. It's okay for OP to say it's not in her taste and wouldn't want Susanne's art to sit somewhere hidden and collect dust.
I don't know what Susanne's art looks like. The example shown of Queen Elizabeth being a comparison, I look at that painting and I see some skill level there and a different perspective the artist was trying to go with. Perhaps that artist doesn't have a positive view of the queen. The hands are well done. Hands are very hard to master. There's a bit of a struggle with colour and shadow theory. I wouldn't say it's all out terrible, and I'm sure there are people out there who do appreciate that style of art.
Load More Replies...I'd paint a really bad painting of BIL and SIL and ask them to pay $10K for it
Suzanne isn’t spending her own money on art supplies. She’s Drew’s trophy wife who’s 24 years younger than he is, and he’s her older sugar daddy. Everything Suzanne does is financed by Drew. So she’s not out any expense for her s****y “art”. Wonder when she’s going to start painting on velvet.
I mean I don’t think we were given enough information to start accusing her of that 😅 but go off I guess
Load More Replies...A good friend of mine has written a couple of books. He never asked anyone to buy any, but has sent us links when they were available free on Amazon asking if we would download them, so he could see some "sales" and move up the Amazon charts. Of course a lot of us did that and I enjoyed reading them (though partly because I could work out who some of the characters were). That's the support level people should ask for from family and friends, not strong arming them to spend thousands on rubbish they don't want. That's just a form of begging and as unappealing as it sounds.
I'm an author and I give family members copies of my books for free. And then only if they're interested in reading it eg I gave a copy of my sci fi to my dad because he likes science fiction. This is just emotional blackmail and way over the line.
Friends or Family that try to strongarm money out of me will find themselves on the no contact list in a millisecond. Wtf is wrong with that kind of overbearing, entitled people?
OP should tell Susanne that she'll give her a reduced rate on the licensing fee for the photograph: $1,900 down from $2,500.
IF you buy anything from her, you will be required to display it. Strong-arming or guilting people into buying from family members should be met with gentle but firm AF NOs
I'm almost disappointed there are no full-blown YTAs. I wanted to see how they'd spin it. Probably the "but family looks after family!" classic.
Yes, family should look after family which is why I never charged anything for the few things I've done. And, certainly, I wouldn't have the audacity to charge so much for something that I did on my own initiative without being asked or even asking if I could. I'm with the NTA crowd, tell this artist to go whistle and don't buy a single thing, or surely more will follow.
Load More Replies...Family and friends can reasonably expect to be invited to exhibitions of the work, to boost perceived enthusiasm levels. That, aside from the occasional polite query about how things are going, is the socially expected limit of their support. They're not the mummy and daddy to a 6 year old, displaying her work around their home, and giving her extra pocket money as a reward.
I'll bet Susanne has a lot more issues than thinking wealthy inlaws will subsidize her avocation. She must be a joy to be around. 'Out of sight; out of mind'. I would try to minimize all contact with this manipulator.
I am sorry, but we have no room for it in the house. If she asks you to clear a wall of photos, let her know that the photos celebrate a number of major events and people, and you will not remove that many photos to have just one event on the wall. For every time she says that you have room, let her know that you do not. Tell her that you will not purchase something that you will just store in the attic
1. S**t on a canvas. 2. Smear it with a stick or something. 3. Wait for it to dry. 4 . Present to her as your art you created specially for her. 5 . Ask for $5,000, but tell her you will discount it to $4,999. 6. Problem solved.
You shouldn't be pressured to buy a painting you didn't commission. Tell her "Oh, Suzanne,we already bought them a wedding gift. You should gift the painting to the couple as your own a wedding gift."
Poor them, if she does. Unless they hang it in a closet. But I'm sure they will be sad to be stuck with a "gift" like that.
Load More Replies...The OP thinks that Susanne is unhappy that she hasn't "made it" at 35. If she has to rely on extorting family members, she should treat it as a hobby. She might put her talents to other uses.
I wanted to be an illustrator, wasn't great at it, became a graphic designer and did better there. I also wanted to be a novelist, but my adolescent scribblings were really really bad. Now I work hard to make sure my instructions and emails are informative and easy to read. An accountant might seem dull, but one told me that she loves numbers. A colleague had the stressful job of chasing after clients to pay the company - and she found it fascinating to come up with strategies for it. One can learn to take pride in making other's lives easier.
Load More Replies...One step below grifting and just adjacent to stright up asking for money. It's like people that try to clean your windshield or mow your lawn without being asked then demand to be paid. Even the greatest artists often can't make a living off their art or "make it big" in their life time. Ask Van Gogh.
That would be nightmare material to me. I don’t even like over large family photos, let alone paintings. Any I have are smaller in tasteful frames of my choosing, and the frames are chosen to suit my decor. And then…. They’re dotted around on shelves or bookcases. Certainly not on the wall. So no to large paintings, just no. 😬
No way should you be coerced into buying art you don't like. Are you ready to have the artist tell you where in your house the painting will show best? She is no different than bums on the street who run to clean your windshield and then ask for a few bucks.
I wouldn't even gift someone a valuable painting, given that it might not be to their taste and they might be uncomfortable displaying it, like the ugly vase or lamp that only gets put out when great aunt Julie comes to visit. It's a bad idea, and you shouldn't have to be stuck with it, let alone shell out for it.
NTA, a gift is a gift. I would never charge or accept money for my photographs. I enjoy taking photos, though I wouldn’t call myself a hobbyist photographer—my camera can sit in the cupboard for months at a time. When I attend weddings, I bring my camera, edit a dozen or so that I think are worth it, and provide these (along with all the others) on a memory stick for the couple to use however they like. I stay clear of the professionals’ territory if one is present and focus on capturing the atmosphere and emotions of the day. People often appreciate these candid moments just as much as the posed shots.
First of all, she can still be an artist without selling anything. Many people paint as a hobby but have other means of income. From the sounds of it, though, she's trying to be a professional artist, but she's failing if she has to rely on family to make purchases.
Who asks someone to buy their own wedding gift, for a start? SIL needs the blinkers removed and come out of denial. There's a reason people aren't buying your art. My friend took up painting a few years ago - turns out she had an enormous talent. Attended an exhibition and saw the prices and was "HOW MUCH??!?!" and then realised a lot of them were already marked as sold. Well done her.
Also there will be peace if SIL ceases and desists.
Load More Replies...Hell to the no lol !! NTA keep your tacky awful painting we did not ask for ! YOU DID IT AS A surprise LAST TIME I LOOKED YOU DO NOT PAY FOR SURPRISES ! so I’ve got no filter n no tolerance for bullies ! She is a bullies and from what ops says a talentless one to ! My 23 yr old daughter draws n paints n actually she’s not half bad , but she does it as a hobby , she’s had work mates ask for pictures , n she’s done them happily n GIVEN them to them ,I have a fair bit of her stuff on display in the house , but no way would she sell them a gift is a gift !! n this suzanna needs telling straight cos none of u are helping her at all she’s clearly bad at painting for a start n also a degree in fine arts does NOT a great artist make ! she’s entitled arrogant and a bully end off so she needs bring down a leg or ten , so op my advice sorry is tell her like it is it’s c**p ! and so so so not worth almost 3k end off cos she’s gonna keep doing this in her deluded mind it needs to be stopped!
Insults and hurt feelings last a long time and you will likely be seeing your sister-in-law for a long, long time. If not her, your brother-in-law. Those resentment vibes may vibrate for decades. If you purchased it, could you hang it in a hall or room that’s seldom used so you don’t have to look at it all the time? Just trying to help you avoid future awkwardness. YTA -maybe.
I bet Drew will find himself a new sugar babe soon. Susanne is already 35.
Load More Replies...I hate to admit it, but I would tell a version of the truth, "I'm sorry Susanne, but that's just really not our style. I would prefer to pick my own artwork, but thank you for the thought". If she persisted, I think I would take her aside and just say that it is highly inappropriate to create an art piece that no one commissioned and then expect them to purchase it. But at 62 y/o I don't really give a sh*t if people get offended when I stand up for myself.
And SIL is offering it for $1,900 for them to buy as a wedding gift when there are a lot of wedding expenses coming up and more practical gifts for a newly married couple. And SIL doesn’t even consider giving it as a gift herself to her nephew. It feels like SIL is one of those MLM women who see every relationship as an opportunity to extort money.
Load More Replies...I've stated it before, "keeping the peace" has never once kept the peace
Keeping the peace is basically allowing yourself to be a doormat.
Load More Replies...I agree with the comments that say if OP + hubs buy *this* piece, SIL will paint *more* stuff for them to buy! I'd tell BIL: "Unless she's turned into Monet or Picasso (or whichever artists they like), we won't be buying her paintings."
You know, being an aspiring artist is just where that will take you. An aspiring artist. If Susanne wants to be a professional artist she needs to take some lessons, or spend time, and, yes, her own money on the materials and practice, practice, practice while learning who she is and the type of artist she feels drawn to being. Charging thousands for her amateur paintings is up to her, but that's not realistically what professionals are charging. I made that mistake, except to a family member requesting a couple paintings from me, and have them shipped to her. I did charge a grand, and it did take me a couple months. I gave her updates to how things were coming along. She really liked the turn out, but never asked me to commission another piece for her since then. It's okay for OP to say it's not in her taste and wouldn't want Susanne's art to sit somewhere hidden and collect dust.
I don't know what Susanne's art looks like. The example shown of Queen Elizabeth being a comparison, I look at that painting and I see some skill level there and a different perspective the artist was trying to go with. Perhaps that artist doesn't have a positive view of the queen. The hands are well done. Hands are very hard to master. There's a bit of a struggle with colour and shadow theory. I wouldn't say it's all out terrible, and I'm sure there are people out there who do appreciate that style of art.
Load More Replies...I'd paint a really bad painting of BIL and SIL and ask them to pay $10K for it
Suzanne isn’t spending her own money on art supplies. She’s Drew’s trophy wife who’s 24 years younger than he is, and he’s her older sugar daddy. Everything Suzanne does is financed by Drew. So she’s not out any expense for her s****y “art”. Wonder when she’s going to start painting on velvet.
I mean I don’t think we were given enough information to start accusing her of that 😅 but go off I guess
Load More Replies...A good friend of mine has written a couple of books. He never asked anyone to buy any, but has sent us links when they were available free on Amazon asking if we would download them, so he could see some "sales" and move up the Amazon charts. Of course a lot of us did that and I enjoyed reading them (though partly because I could work out who some of the characters were). That's the support level people should ask for from family and friends, not strong arming them to spend thousands on rubbish they don't want. That's just a form of begging and as unappealing as it sounds.
I'm an author and I give family members copies of my books for free. And then only if they're interested in reading it eg I gave a copy of my sci fi to my dad because he likes science fiction. This is just emotional blackmail and way over the line.
Friends or Family that try to strongarm money out of me will find themselves on the no contact list in a millisecond. Wtf is wrong with that kind of overbearing, entitled people?
OP should tell Susanne that she'll give her a reduced rate on the licensing fee for the photograph: $1,900 down from $2,500.
IF you buy anything from her, you will be required to display it. Strong-arming or guilting people into buying from family members should be met with gentle but firm AF NOs
I'm almost disappointed there are no full-blown YTAs. I wanted to see how they'd spin it. Probably the "but family looks after family!" classic.
Yes, family should look after family which is why I never charged anything for the few things I've done. And, certainly, I wouldn't have the audacity to charge so much for something that I did on my own initiative without being asked or even asking if I could. I'm with the NTA crowd, tell this artist to go whistle and don't buy a single thing, or surely more will follow.
Load More Replies...Family and friends can reasonably expect to be invited to exhibitions of the work, to boost perceived enthusiasm levels. That, aside from the occasional polite query about how things are going, is the socially expected limit of their support. They're not the mummy and daddy to a 6 year old, displaying her work around their home, and giving her extra pocket money as a reward.
I'll bet Susanne has a lot more issues than thinking wealthy inlaws will subsidize her avocation. She must be a joy to be around. 'Out of sight; out of mind'. I would try to minimize all contact with this manipulator.
I am sorry, but we have no room for it in the house. If she asks you to clear a wall of photos, let her know that the photos celebrate a number of major events and people, and you will not remove that many photos to have just one event on the wall. For every time she says that you have room, let her know that you do not. Tell her that you will not purchase something that you will just store in the attic
1. S**t on a canvas. 2. Smear it with a stick or something. 3. Wait for it to dry. 4 . Present to her as your art you created specially for her. 5 . Ask for $5,000, but tell her you will discount it to $4,999. 6. Problem solved.
You shouldn't be pressured to buy a painting you didn't commission. Tell her "Oh, Suzanne,we already bought them a wedding gift. You should gift the painting to the couple as your own a wedding gift."
Poor them, if she does. Unless they hang it in a closet. But I'm sure they will be sad to be stuck with a "gift" like that.
Load More Replies...The OP thinks that Susanne is unhappy that she hasn't "made it" at 35. If she has to rely on extorting family members, she should treat it as a hobby. She might put her talents to other uses.
I wanted to be an illustrator, wasn't great at it, became a graphic designer and did better there. I also wanted to be a novelist, but my adolescent scribblings were really really bad. Now I work hard to make sure my instructions and emails are informative and easy to read. An accountant might seem dull, but one told me that she loves numbers. A colleague had the stressful job of chasing after clients to pay the company - and she found it fascinating to come up with strategies for it. One can learn to take pride in making other's lives easier.
Load More Replies...One step below grifting and just adjacent to stright up asking for money. It's like people that try to clean your windshield or mow your lawn without being asked then demand to be paid. Even the greatest artists often can't make a living off their art or "make it big" in their life time. Ask Van Gogh.
That would be nightmare material to me. I don’t even like over large family photos, let alone paintings. Any I have are smaller in tasteful frames of my choosing, and the frames are chosen to suit my decor. And then…. They’re dotted around on shelves or bookcases. Certainly not on the wall. So no to large paintings, just no. 😬
No way should you be coerced into buying art you don't like. Are you ready to have the artist tell you where in your house the painting will show best? She is no different than bums on the street who run to clean your windshield and then ask for a few bucks.
I wouldn't even gift someone a valuable painting, given that it might not be to their taste and they might be uncomfortable displaying it, like the ugly vase or lamp that only gets put out when great aunt Julie comes to visit. It's a bad idea, and you shouldn't have to be stuck with it, let alone shell out for it.
NTA, a gift is a gift. I would never charge or accept money for my photographs. I enjoy taking photos, though I wouldn’t call myself a hobbyist photographer—my camera can sit in the cupboard for months at a time. When I attend weddings, I bring my camera, edit a dozen or so that I think are worth it, and provide these (along with all the others) on a memory stick for the couple to use however they like. I stay clear of the professionals’ territory if one is present and focus on capturing the atmosphere and emotions of the day. People often appreciate these candid moments just as much as the posed shots.
First of all, she can still be an artist without selling anything. Many people paint as a hobby but have other means of income. From the sounds of it, though, she's trying to be a professional artist, but she's failing if she has to rely on family to make purchases.
Who asks someone to buy their own wedding gift, for a start? SIL needs the blinkers removed and come out of denial. There's a reason people aren't buying your art. My friend took up painting a few years ago - turns out she had an enormous talent. Attended an exhibition and saw the prices and was "HOW MUCH??!?!" and then realised a lot of them were already marked as sold. Well done her.
Also there will be peace if SIL ceases and desists.
Load More Replies...Hell to the no lol !! NTA keep your tacky awful painting we did not ask for ! YOU DID IT AS A surprise LAST TIME I LOOKED YOU DO NOT PAY FOR SURPRISES ! so I’ve got no filter n no tolerance for bullies ! She is a bullies and from what ops says a talentless one to ! My 23 yr old daughter draws n paints n actually she’s not half bad , but she does it as a hobby , she’s had work mates ask for pictures , n she’s done them happily n GIVEN them to them ,I have a fair bit of her stuff on display in the house , but no way would she sell them a gift is a gift !! n this suzanna needs telling straight cos none of u are helping her at all she’s clearly bad at painting for a start n also a degree in fine arts does NOT a great artist make ! she’s entitled arrogant and a bully end off so she needs bring down a leg or ten , so op my advice sorry is tell her like it is it’s c**p ! and so so so not worth almost 3k end off cos she’s gonna keep doing this in her deluded mind it needs to be stopped!
Insults and hurt feelings last a long time and you will likely be seeing your sister-in-law for a long, long time. If not her, your brother-in-law. Those resentment vibes may vibrate for decades. If you purchased it, could you hang it in a hall or room that’s seldom used so you don’t have to look at it all the time? Just trying to help you avoid future awkwardness. YTA -maybe.
I bet Drew will find himself a new sugar babe soon. Susanne is already 35.
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