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Kid Gets Herself Banned From Future Trips With Aunt And Uncle, Her Mom Throws A Fit
Quality family time for kids doesn’t only mean time with parents. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – they’re all important, so it’s great if the little ones get to spend time with different family members.
This redditor wanted to make sure that she and her husband spend plenty of quality time with their nieces and nephews. That’s why she took her brother’s and her sister’s kids on an overnight trip, to see if they were ready for longer trips away from their parents. And while the brother’s kids showed that they were, for the OP’s sister’s child, it likely was the last outing with aunt and uncle for a while.
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Quality time with nieces and nephews is important
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But after a weekend getaway together, this woman said she will not be taking her sister’s kid on any more outings
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: NiecethrowawayAITA
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In close-knit families, aunts and uncles tend to play a rather significant role
How close or distant one is with their aunts and uncles—or any other relative, for that matter—depends on numerous factors. However, one that plays a rather significant role is the relationship between the aunts and uncles and their siblings.
Studies suggest that when adult siblings have a close relationship, they are more likely to have a close relationship with each other’s children, too. And it’s not difficult to see why: when a parent has a good relationship with their sibling(s), they set a good example for forming and maintaining family connections. In addition to that, a close sibling bond often also means the family spending time together, which is a key element in most relationships.
Writing for Psychology Today, Professor Emeritus of Family Relations at the University of Maine and author of The Forgotten Kin: Aunts and Uncles, Dr. Robert Milardo noted that the relationship between adults and their siblings’ children changes and adapts, depending on the children’s age and the needs of their parents. During infancy and early childhood, for instance, they might help out more by providing child care, while during the adolescent years, they can ease or mediate conflicts between the youngsters and their parents, provide much-needed support, or serve as “testing grounds for the identity development” of their nieces and nephews.
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Family rituals can positively influence their members
Bearing in mind the significant roles aunts and uncles play when they maintain a close relationship with their siblings, it’s evident that the time they spend with their nieces and nephews is extremely important, too. Even more so if it becomes a ritual of some sort, be it an ice cream date every other Sunday or a weekend getaway every summer. Studies suggest that family rituals and routines can have a positive impact on adults’ marital satisfaction, adolescents’ sense of personal identity, children’s health, academic achievement, and stronger family relationships.
However, for the OP, creating a ritual with all of her siblings’ kids wasn’t an easy task. She found it difficult to deal with her 10-year-old niece’s outbursts and difficult behavior, so she set a clear boundary, which her sister wasn’t too happy about. After reading her story, some netizens sided with the redditor, saying that her refusing to take her niece on trips didn’t make her a jerk. Others, however, shared a different opinion.
Many netizens didn’t think the woman was being a jerk in the situation
Some people, however, sided with the girl’s mother
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What do you think ?
Orysha 10 months ago (edited)
I hope all the ytas don't have children. If Kelly behaves this way with her aunt I would love to see her behaviour with her parents, that should be way worse.You don't reward bad behaviour, it needs to be stopped and if the parents can't or don't want to do that, other people will
Zoe Vokes 10 months ago
I feel sorry for her cousins if they had to be around Kelly for a whole week. Even if OP and husband could put up with Kelly in the hope she behaved, it wouldn’t be fair on the other kids to have their holiday potentially ruined. She already did her best to ruin the weekend trip away together, there is every chance that behaviour would continue. And OP isn’t saying no forever, just this year when she has shown recent bad behaviour.
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 10 months ago
There seems to be a lot of confusion between, we are t taking her for a one week trip this year because she won't behave and we are shunning our niece and she can never redeem herself. She's not ready for a long trip, but there's no indication they will treat her differently to before. OP isn't refusing to spend time with her, isn't cutting ties. This is just recognising a week-long trip isn't the best way to spend time with her. Presumably if the others misbehaved, they wouldn't go on a longer trip either.
Funhog 10 months ago
Agreed. Also to point out: Kelly's mother told OP that she is out of line for punishing Kelly.. but, OP isn't punishing her at all; she simply isn't rewarding her.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 10 months ago
NTA. Kelly sounds like an entitled brat that gets her way. She's not to old to have her a*s torn up over her behavior. If the parents don't start making her behave ank knock off the temper tantrums that she is way to old for they better get ready for their hellion in the making. Stop letting her be the little princess b***h they are raising her to be!
Zoe Vokes 10 months ago
I can understand some of her behaviour, like not wanting to share the TV because she’s used to being the only child and usually picking what she wants to watch. But the rest of her behaviour is bad character - having a meltdown because she was asked to pick just one item from the gift shop, demanding that they get ice cream immediately, being rude to the waitress… it shows she’s really used to getting what she wants or she throws a tantrum.
Load More Replies...
Dusty's mom 10 months ago
This is why teachers are quitting. They have a few Kellys disrupting their classes and are hamstrung finding ways to deal with them, all the while the children's parents just make things worse.
Lee Gilliland 10 months ago
I'm rather concerned about Kelly here. Someone who's ten years old and acting out generally has a reason f doing so. Check into how she's being treated at home, wouldn't be surprised if something else is at play here.
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
From the sister’s reaction, it’s easy to see where Kelly learned her behavior. The d o u c h e never falls far from the bag. What do you want to bet the sister was their parents’ golden child who got everything she wanted after she threw her own ill-mannered fits?
Nina 10 months ago
Forget that brat. My kids are much younger and would never act so horribly. Her sister raised a right little ah. Let her enjoy trips with the monster she raised.
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
Agreed. My parents would not have put up with me embarrassing them by acting up like that. They would’ve read me the riot act about not being a little feral animal and remind me how they taught me to behave myself around people. All that would happen before I was actually punished. Back in those days, that meant a spanking. Hell, just the threat of a spanking was usually enough to get my brothers and myself to straighten up and fly right. Now I am definitely NOT saying Kelly should be spanked, I am absolutely against authoritarian parenting (much prefer authoritative parenting), but it’s obvious she was never consistently punished for bad behavior so thinks that, since her parents don’t thin’ it’s a big enough deal to punish her every time she acts out, then everyone else in the world will do the same. She’s in for a real shock when she grows up and discovers that the world ain’t her mammy and daddy, it does NOT love her , and it will NOT put up with her b u l l s h i t—-and it will be a really hard lesson for her to learn. But sometimes some people are so hardheaded they need the devastating lesson to actually, finally learn.
Load More Replies...
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Kelly's mom is mad for two reasons. (1) The OP is in effect criticizing how she raised her daughter. (2) The OP is clearly right.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Kelly showed herself up, her mother is enabling her, Kelly loses out - actions/consequences. Her mother can take her on a week long trip. Why should OP put up with that s**t for a WEEK if the kid won't behave for just one day?
Pixie T 9 months ago
I have a 13 year old cousin ( K) through marriage that for the past 5 years has been an absolute demon child. Very poorly behaved, fighting other's ,even shouting, swearing and hitting her own mother. A few weeks ago K, her mother ( G ) and her siblings went back to the home town up North to attend G's fathers funeral, G's husband ( M ) stayed home as he couldn't get time off work. Whilst away K broke down and told her mum that her father M had been abusing her since she was 8ish. Turns out her bad behaviour and violence against her mum was due to anger at G not noticing what had been happening. Its only been 1 month since this all came out and there is a lot to deal with but K's like a completely different child, she doesn't lash out anymore or cause trouble. It's very sad but she just wanted to be seen and now the truths out and M is out of the house and being investigated its like she can breath again.
Inservio Smurf 9 months ago
This behaviour would have been parented out of me by age four, never mind six and behaving this way at ten meant a beating, straight to bed without dinner, and house arrest for the remainder of the trip.
Paulina 9 months ago (edited)
It might not be a popular opinion, but I don't give a fück if the money is not an issue or whether OP takes children from other part of the family on trips. She has a full right to say "NO, I'm not taking Kelly anymore". Period. It's OP's time and she can do whatever suits her comfort. And Kelly is causing discomfort & problems for everyone. Just because they're similar in age, doesn't mean Kelly has to get (or even deserves!) everything that other children get. Especially from an aunt doing something extra.
Cecilia Matthews 9 months ago
Not to mention that it might be difficult to keep a kid safe if they won’t listen to you.
Load More Replies...
Mark Childers 10 months ago
I really wonder about the sister's parenting abilities. The kid will struggle as a result. She's already suffering because she will be excluded from future outings with her aunt and uncle.
Just_for_this 10 months ago
If my 6.y.o behaved like that NOW she'd be in trouble let alone at 10.
TCW Sam Vimes 10 months ago
All the yta's are the real problem. Everybody in that category needs to do some serious parenting. My 5 year old would not behave like that. All those people are rais8ng brays with main actor syndrome. A 10 year old should have learned that the world does not always revolve around them. But if the parents are already like that, how could they learn differently?
JuniorCJ82 10 months ago
She "hopes you feel good about yourself"? I'd feel fantastic!!! I ain't ruining four people's vacation because one acts like an entitled brat. This is a year old and I truly hope they have still stuck to their guns.
liam newton-harding 10 months ago
The aunt’s family shouldn’t have their vacation ruined just to teach the niece how to behave around others. I know this is a strange concept, but that is the parents job. One of the basic ones, in fact.
Load More Replies... Orysha 10 months ago (edited)
I hope all the ytas don't have children. If Kelly behaves this way with her aunt I would love to see her behaviour with her parents, that should be way worse.You don't reward bad behaviour, it needs to be stopped and if the parents can't or don't want to do that, other people will
Zoe Vokes 10 months ago
I feel sorry for her cousins if they had to be around Kelly for a whole week. Even if OP and husband could put up with Kelly in the hope she behaved, it wouldn’t be fair on the other kids to have their holiday potentially ruined. She already did her best to ruin the weekend trip away together, there is every chance that behaviour would continue. And OP isn’t saying no forever, just this year when she has shown recent bad behaviour.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 10 months ago
There seems to be a lot of confusion between, we are t taking her for a one week trip this year because she won't behave and we are shunning our niece and she can never redeem herself. She's not ready for a long trip, but there's no indication they will treat her differently to before. OP isn't refusing to spend time with her, isn't cutting ties. This is just recognising a week-long trip isn't the best way to spend time with her. Presumably if the others misbehaved, they wouldn't go on a longer trip either.
Funhog 10 months ago
Agreed. Also to point out: Kelly's mother told OP that she is out of line for punishing Kelly.. but, OP isn't punishing her at all; she simply isn't rewarding her.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 10 months ago
NTA. Kelly sounds like an entitled brat that gets her way. She's not to old to have her a*s torn up over her behavior. If the parents don't start making her behave ank knock off the temper tantrums that she is way to old for they better get ready for their hellion in the making. Stop letting her be the little princess b***h they are raising her to be!
Zoe Vokes 10 months ago
I can understand some of her behaviour, like not wanting to share the TV because she’s used to being the only child and usually picking what she wants to watch. But the rest of her behaviour is bad character - having a meltdown because she was asked to pick just one item from the gift shop, demanding that they get ice cream immediately, being rude to the waitress… it shows she’s really used to getting what she wants or she throws a tantrum.
Load More Replies... Dusty's mom 10 months ago
This is why teachers are quitting. They have a few Kellys disrupting their classes and are hamstrung finding ways to deal with them, all the while the children's parents just make things worse.
Lee Gilliland 10 months ago
I'm rather concerned about Kelly here. Someone who's ten years old and acting out generally has a reason f doing so. Check into how she's being treated at home, wouldn't be surprised if something else is at play here.
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
From the sister’s reaction, it’s easy to see where Kelly learned her behavior. The d o u c h e never falls far from the bag. What do you want to bet the sister was their parents’ golden child who got everything she wanted after she threw her own ill-mannered fits?
Nina 10 months ago
Forget that brat. My kids are much younger and would never act so horribly. Her sister raised a right little ah. Let her enjoy trips with the monster she raised.
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
Agreed. My parents would not have put up with me embarrassing them by acting up like that. They would’ve read me the riot act about not being a little feral animal and remind me how they taught me to behave myself around people. All that would happen before I was actually punished. Back in those days, that meant a spanking. Hell, just the threat of a spanking was usually enough to get my brothers and myself to straighten up and fly right. Now I am definitely NOT saying Kelly should be spanked, I am absolutely against authoritarian parenting (much prefer authoritative parenting), but it’s obvious she was never consistently punished for bad behavior so thinks that, since her parents don’t thin’ it’s a big enough deal to punish her every time she acts out, then everyone else in the world will do the same. She’s in for a real shock when she grows up and discovers that the world ain’t her mammy and daddy, it does NOT love her , and it will NOT put up with her b u l l s h i t—-and it will be a really hard lesson for her to learn. But sometimes some people are so hardheaded they need the devastating lesson to actually, finally learn.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 10 months ago
Kelly's mom is mad for two reasons. (1) The OP is in effect criticizing how she raised her daughter. (2) The OP is clearly right.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Kelly showed herself up, her mother is enabling her, Kelly loses out - actions/consequences. Her mother can take her on a week long trip. Why should OP put up with that s**t for a WEEK if the kid won't behave for just one day?
Pixie T 9 months ago
I have a 13 year old cousin ( K) through marriage that for the past 5 years has been an absolute demon child. Very poorly behaved, fighting other's ,even shouting, swearing and hitting her own mother. A few weeks ago K, her mother ( G ) and her siblings went back to the home town up North to attend G's fathers funeral, G's husband ( M ) stayed home as he couldn't get time off work. Whilst away K broke down and told her mum that her father M had been abusing her since she was 8ish. Turns out her bad behaviour and violence against her mum was due to anger at G not noticing what had been happening. Its only been 1 month since this all came out and there is a lot to deal with but K's like a completely different child, she doesn't lash out anymore or cause trouble. It's very sad but she just wanted to be seen and now the truths out and M is out of the house and being investigated its like she can breath again.
Inservio Smurf 9 months ago
This behaviour would have been parented out of me by age four, never mind six and behaving this way at ten meant a beating, straight to bed without dinner, and house arrest for the remainder of the trip.
Paulina 9 months ago (edited)
It might not be a popular opinion, but I don't give a fück if the money is not an issue or whether OP takes children from other part of the family on trips. She has a full right to say "NO, I'm not taking Kelly anymore". Period. It's OP's time and she can do whatever suits her comfort. And Kelly is causing discomfort & problems for everyone. Just because they're similar in age, doesn't mean Kelly has to get (or even deserves!) everything that other children get. Especially from an aunt doing something extra.
Cecilia Matthews 9 months ago
Not to mention that it might be difficult to keep a kid safe if they won’t listen to you.
Load More Replies... Mark Childers 10 months ago
I really wonder about the sister's parenting abilities. The kid will struggle as a result. She's already suffering because she will be excluded from future outings with her aunt and uncle.
Just_for_this 10 months ago
If my 6.y.o behaved like that NOW she'd be in trouble let alone at 10.
TCW Sam Vimes 10 months ago
All the yta's are the real problem. Everybody in that category needs to do some serious parenting. My 5 year old would not behave like that. All those people are rais8ng brays with main actor syndrome. A 10 year old should have learned that the world does not always revolve around them. But if the parents are already like that, how could they learn differently?
JuniorCJ82 10 months ago
She "hopes you feel good about yourself"? I'd feel fantastic!!! I ain't ruining four people's vacation because one acts like an entitled brat. This is a year old and I truly hope they have still stuck to their guns.
liam newton-harding 10 months ago
The aunt’s family shouldn’t have their vacation ruined just to teach the niece how to behave around others. I know this is a strange concept, but that is the parents job. One of the basic ones, in fact.
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