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Guy Invites GF On Vacation, Expects Her To Be A Free Babysitter Instead Of Enjoying Her Weekend
Traveling together is a great way to spend more quality time as a couple. Yet around 70% of American couples say they don’t get away together as much as they would like to. That’s why we should seize all the opportunities we can get, even, let’s say when our partner is on a work trip.
Unfortunately for this woman, her city break while her BF was on a work trip turned into a babysitting job. Unbeknownst to her, the guy agreed to watch his niece for the weekend. What’s more, he even expected his GF to babysit while he plays football instead of enjoying her vacation in the city.
RELATED:
A woman came to visit her boyfriend and wanted to spend her vacation seeing the city
Image credits: benzoix (not the actual image)
But the BF sprang up his niece onto her, forcing the GF to babysit while he goes to play football
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual image)
Image credits: Ok_Video2177
Women often don’t feel equal to their partners in relationships
Reading through the comments, it becomes clear that people took issue with other things the boyfriend said more than just babysitting the niece. People drew attention to how he doesn’t seem to look at this relationship as an equal partnership.
For one, he casually said that he’s “letting” his GF stay at his place for free. Then, he expected her to fill the caretaker role for his niece, assuming that she’d automatically agree just because she’s a woman.
Research shows that women don’t feel their relationships are always gender equal. In a 2011 study, 43% of men and only 28% of women perceived their relationships as completely equal.
And this story illustrates this statistic pretty well. If partners expect women to take on the bigger part of physical and emotional labor – cleaning the house, taking care of an ill partner, putting their hobbies first, and even babysitting their sibling’s kids – girlfriends are bound to feel like they’re giving more than getting.
Image credits: cookie_studio (not the actual image)
These are the four reasons why “I do this for you, you do this for me” can doom relationships
The boyfriend seems to think that relationships operate on a tit-for-tat basis. He lets his GF stay at his place, so she should repay him by watching his niece. However, relationship experts caution that such a transactional attitude to relationships can be harmful.
The experts at Maplewood Counseling name four reasons why being transactional doesn’t work in relationships.
- It makes partners doubt if the connection is genuine. When we genuinely care about a person, we want to help them and take care of them. Letting them stay at our place or spending time with them then isn’t a chore but something we do out of love.
- It undermines trust and intimacy. If we keep score of the things we do for each other, a romantic relationship can start to feel like a business transaction. And there’s no place for intimacy in a work relationship.
- It presupposes both partners are always at 100%. As much as we’d like, no relationship can be 50/50 all of the time. One partner sometimes takes more than they give, and vice versa. Failing to understand these natural fluctuations in a relationship can breed resentment.
- Many things in relationships are not quantifiable. How much is watching your niece worth? Will this repay the girlfriend’s debt of staying at the BF’s place for free? There are some things we can’t put a price on, and keeping a spreadsheet of all the things your partner “owes” you is hardly possible.
That’s why experts advocate to look at relationships as relational. According to Psychotherapist Terri Cole, in a transactional relationship, you’re focused on yourself. In a relational relationship, you are focused on the other person.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
People in the comments were confused as to why the guy did not know how old his niece was
Still, most sided with the girlfriend, taking issue with some other things the BF said
Others were brutally honest: “YTA for dating this loser”
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What do you think ?
Tamra 7 months ago
Well, she can at least mentally thank him for showing her what life will be like with him, then polish up her spine and GTFO.
Emilu 7 months ago
Exactly! At least he had the decency of showing her he was a waste of her time prior to their relationship growing more serious!
Load More Replies...
RAM31280 7 months ago
NTA. I would rather cut my vacation short and leave him to watch his own niece over being forced to babysit a kid you've never met before. If the airline wont/can't change flights for free or cheaper than a couple of days hotel costs just enjoy the rest of the trip alone.
liam newton-harding 7 months ago
Taking bets that is not his “niece”, but his daughter…and he’s still married.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago (edited)
Or if not, he's not willing to own up to being divorced. And he's deliberately pretending not to know her age. This puzzled me on Reddit with the original post, but I have the sneaking suspicion you're right and that's why his "niece" is coming that weekend come h*ll or high water and he can't get out of it. Also why she had to clean up the apartment, can't have daughter reporting back to mommy it was filthy! Good catch.
Load More Replies...
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
As a woman who’s been in a controlling marriage I beg you to turn heel n run fast ! He’s a pos ! only interested in what HE WANTS do not wast anymore time on this selfish excuse of a human
Royal Stray 7 months ago
So he's feeling sick, that's one thing. But he has energy enough to go out and play around leaving her on her own again, and the next free time they have he wants to go play around again, and stick her with babysitting for two days? Does he even want to spend time with his GF? What was the actual point of her coming over? Sounds like she may as well have done this as a solo trip
Rika 7 months ago
Who are this girl's parents ?! I mean, they're sending her off to stay with an uncle who doesn't even know how old she is and plans to drop her on his girlfriend that the niece has never met... Sounds like a pretty dysfunctional family.
ADDchallengedINFP-T 7 months ago
Open your eyes and go home. This babysitting will continue "big family",
Sue Ellen Bowen 7 months ago
"Sorry, but that doesn't work for me. You're the one who agreed to her staying with us so you'll have to be the one to watch your niece." Then I'd pack up and go home.
Nadine 7 months ago
Looks like he is not aware they are supposed to be in a relationship but considers her a loose acquaintance who was just looking for cheap holiday accomodation. Maybe she should charge him for the cleaning and (very likely) the physical interaction and tell him she was not aware she was supposed to be a girlfriend, but thought he had hired her as a cleaner and an escort.
AngelWingsYT 7 months ago
If i visot my bf he takes that time off work! He makes the trip about us! Hope girl got out asap! Dude is a t**t
Tyranamar Seuss 7 months ago
This is a very dissatisfying article bc we don't get the update where she dumped his sorry a*s and went to a hotel. That's the info I need to make myself feel better today. BP should only post these AITA articles if they have updates.
JustABored1 6 months ago
She should have been packing her stuff up when he magically recovered enough to play football on day 2! The tone of his text, and then further telling her she should be paying to visit him, should be the final nail in the coffin of that relationship! NTA
Tamra 7 months ago
Well, she can at least mentally thank him for showing her what life will be like with him, then polish up her spine and GTFO.
Emilu 7 months ago
Exactly! At least he had the decency of showing her he was a waste of her time prior to their relationship growing more serious!
Load More Replies... RAM31280 7 months ago
NTA. I would rather cut my vacation short and leave him to watch his own niece over being forced to babysit a kid you've never met before. If the airline wont/can't change flights for free or cheaper than a couple of days hotel costs just enjoy the rest of the trip alone.
liam newton-harding 7 months ago
Taking bets that is not his “niece”, but his daughter…and he’s still married.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago (edited)
Or if not, he's not willing to own up to being divorced. And he's deliberately pretending not to know her age. This puzzled me on Reddit with the original post, but I have the sneaking suspicion you're right and that's why his "niece" is coming that weekend come h*ll or high water and he can't get out of it. Also why she had to clean up the apartment, can't have daughter reporting back to mommy it was filthy! Good catch.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
As a woman who’s been in a controlling marriage I beg you to turn heel n run fast ! He’s a pos ! only interested in what HE WANTS do not wast anymore time on this selfish excuse of a human
Royal Stray 7 months ago
So he's feeling sick, that's one thing. But he has energy enough to go out and play around leaving her on her own again, and the next free time they have he wants to go play around again, and stick her with babysitting for two days? Does he even want to spend time with his GF? What was the actual point of her coming over? Sounds like she may as well have done this as a solo trip
Rika 7 months ago
Who are this girl's parents ?! I mean, they're sending her off to stay with an uncle who doesn't even know how old she is and plans to drop her on his girlfriend that the niece has never met... Sounds like a pretty dysfunctional family.
ADDchallengedINFP-T 7 months ago
Open your eyes and go home. This babysitting will continue "big family",
Sue Ellen Bowen 7 months ago
"Sorry, but that doesn't work for me. You're the one who agreed to her staying with us so you'll have to be the one to watch your niece." Then I'd pack up and go home.
Nadine 7 months ago
Looks like he is not aware they are supposed to be in a relationship but considers her a loose acquaintance who was just looking for cheap holiday accomodation. Maybe she should charge him for the cleaning and (very likely) the physical interaction and tell him she was not aware she was supposed to be a girlfriend, but thought he had hired her as a cleaner and an escort.
AngelWingsYT 7 months ago
If i visot my bf he takes that time off work! He makes the trip about us! Hope girl got out asap! Dude is a t**t
Tyranamar Seuss 7 months ago
This is a very dissatisfying article bc we don't get the update where she dumped his sorry a*s and went to a hotel. That's the info I need to make myself feel better today. BP should only post these AITA articles if they have updates.
JustABored1 6 months ago
She should have been packing her stuff up when he magically recovered enough to play football on day 2! The tone of his text, and then further telling her she should be paying to visit him, should be the final nail in the coffin of that relationship! NTA
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