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Honesty should be the foundation of any healthy relationship. Sure, you might want to sugar coat the truth when your partner asks how his first attempt at sourdough was or when he wants to know how obvious that pimple on his chin is. But no matter how challenging it may be, we should always try to be honest with the people we love, especially when it comes to information that will directly impact them.
One woman who needed a little push to tell the truth reached out to Reddit seeking advice on whether or not she should be forthcoming with the man she’s dating about her plans to become a single mother. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation with Dr. Alexander Kucherov, Reproductive Endocrinologist at Illume Fertility.
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This woman made plans to become a mother while she was single
Woman holding a red rose on a date, contemplating her plans for artificial insemination and motherhood.
Text discussing a woman’s experience with artificial insemination and her feelings about motherhood and fatherly roles.
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Text discussing a woman’s fertility treatment, dating challenges, and plans for artificial insemination.
Text about woman prioritizing motherhood and debating hiding artificial insemination plans from a date.
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Woman considers hiding artificial insemination plans from date while expressing strong desire to become a mother.
“Thousands of women every year use [donations] to build their families”
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To learn more about what it’s like for a woman to choose to become a single mother, we got in touch with Dr. Alexander Kucherov, Reproductive Endocrinologist at Illume Fertility. He was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and answer a few of our questions on this topic.
“Single mother households account for approximately 20% of families in the USA,” Dr. Kucherov shared. “The data doesn’t exist to evaluate the proportion of these families who used donor insemination to conceive, but certainly thousands of women every year use [donations] to build their families.”
We were also curious about what kind of support a woman needs while undergoing this process. “I would recommend speaking to a Reproductive Endocrinologist prior to starting this process,” the expert says. “Donor insemination is an excellent option for some women to build their families, but others may have better success with different fertility options.”
“I recommend a full fertility checkup of the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries/eggs, prior to starting donor insemination,” Dr. Kucherov continued. “This is not to say that you can’t do it, but rather to confirm that it’s the best and most effective option in your circumstances.”
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“For example, people may have lower egg numbers than expected, or a polyp in the uterus, or have a blocked fallopian tube that they are unaware of,” he noted. “Often these findings have no symptoms but can reduce the chance of success with donor insemination, and higher-level fertility treatment options may be needed in some circumstances.”
“It helps to have people you can rely on when going through any fertility treatment”
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Before spending money on a donation, the expert recommends evaluating these areas to confirm that donor insemination is the best use of your money, time, and effort.
“As physicians, our goal is to support you in whatever choice you make, and to make sure you are empowered to make those decisions with all the information you can get,” Dr. Kucherov told Bored Panda.
Finally, we asked the expert if he had any advice on how a woman can explain to the people in her life that she’s decided to go this route to become a single mother. “I would recommend being open and honest. Often it helps to have people you can rely on when going through any fertility treatment,” he shared.
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“You may be surprised to find that others have had similar experiences when building their families as well. It is also helpful to have people in your life to go to if things don’t go exactly as well as you had planned, but also to celebrate, with those same people, the joy of your success,” Dr. Kucherov added.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you have done if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes, look no further than right here.
Readers congratulated the mother on her happy ending, and she joined in on the conversation one last time
Online forum discussion about a woman debating hiding artificial insemination plans from her date.
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Comments discussing a woman’s experience with artificial insemination and debates about hiding plans from a date.
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Online conversation about a woman debating hiding artificial insemination plans from her date and desire to be a mother.
Reddit comment thread with users discussing a woman's debate on hiding artificial insemination plans from her date.
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Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a woman discussing her plans for artificial insemination and motherhood.
Reddit comment praising a woman’s update about her plans for artificial insemination and desire to be a mother.
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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.
Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.
I'm glad the boyfriend got to make an informed choice. There are men who don't mind being stepfathers or adoptive fathers. Evidently, it's not for everyone.
As a woman, I feel this is weird too. I can't imagine making the decision to date and still want to do this. Like hey, to each their own, and it seems to have worked out for OP at least as far as the last update goes, but man, that's a lot to walk in to when you first start dating someone/a lot to spring on a new relationship.
I'm glad the boyfriend got to make an informed choice. There are men who don't mind being stepfathers or adoptive fathers. Evidently, it's not for everyone.
As a woman, I feel this is weird too. I can't imagine making the decision to date and still want to do this. Like hey, to each their own, and it seems to have worked out for OP at least as far as the last update goes, but man, that's a lot to walk in to when you first start dating someone/a lot to spring on a new relationship.
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